Marriage by choice

[dallysingh101]

7 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Fateh khalsa ji , i wanna share something about my life , i am a well educated 27 years old boy

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It's the one-sided infatuation that gets me, every time. Have these fellas not heard of playing it cool, lol? Any guy with an ounce of pride would either move on or up his game after one rejection. 

 

I have some sympathy. The way many apnay parents often minimise contact between genders, it's not at all surprising that many apnay are clueless about commonly occurring female behaviour (i.e. mixed signals - not that blokes can't do the same!) The lack of contact and a lack of being 'educated' about these things leaves one like a lamb to a slaughter! So when the person does experience the powerful pull of attraction, they don't know whether they are coming or going. lol I can't lie, I've been there too. That's why I think it is important for olders (not necessarily parents) to educate younguns about these things instead of leaving them in the dark.

Plus he mentions he is 'well educated', that often helps even less because people spend so much time in academic learning (which is no bad thing!) that they don't develop a good grasp of social interaction between genders.

These problems are behind a lot of the issues we face as a community such as conversions and grooming.

[MisterrSingh]

^^^ Good points. I guess there's something to be said for knowing the rules of the game without losing oneself to the sordid nature of it, lol. That comes with age, experience, and distance. Whilst I'm not a fan of dating and the like, being able to recognise the signals and the various "manuevers" is invaluable, but just isn't taught to us due to the puritan nature of our culture. Funnily enough, a few hundred years ago a blessed being did try to guide us in matters such as these in something called Chatropokhiyan, but it seems we're hell bent on disavowing all knowledge of such things. Our bad luck I guess.

[jkvlondon]

1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

 

I have some sympathy. The way many apnay parents often minimise contact between genders, it's not at all surprising that many apnay are clueless about commonly occurring female behaviour (i.e. mixed signals - not that blokes can't do the same!) The lack of contact and a lack of being 'educated' about these things leaves one like a lamb to a slaughter! So when the person does experience the powerful pull of attraction, they don't know whether they are coming or going. lol I can't lie, I've been there too. That's why I think it is important for olders (not necessarily parents) to educate younguns about these things instead of leaving them in the dark.

Plus he mentions he is 'well educated', that often helps even less because people spend so much time in academic learning (which is no bad thing!) that they don't develop a good grasp of social interaction between genders.

These problems are behind a lot of the issues we face as a community such as conversions and grooming.

the well educated thing seems like a 'hey i'm a catch I'm well-educated why don't she like me, my folks told me that was what girls wanted'

[sikhni777]

He might be 19 and she 17... never know. A mature man I doubt would just approach a girl and propose marriage.  I think he means relationship. 

[dallysingh101]

3 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

the well educated thing seems like a 'hey i'm a catch I'm well-educated why don't she like me, my folks told me that was what girls wanted'

So true, parents aren't unknown to give out of date advice to their children.

 

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He might be 19 and she 17... never know. A mature man I doubt would just approach a girl and propose marriage.  I think he means relationship. 

He said he was 27 in the OP?

[simran345]

13 hours ago, Guest Soul said:

Fateh khalsa ji , i wanna share something about my life , i am a well educated 27 years old boy , i really want to merry a girl who was my classmate , actually she is a very kind nd helpfull, she helped me in my study , gave me lots of care , nd i told her that i like her but  she said to me that i know u r a enough good man nd respected my feelings but she said sorry , after 4-5 month later she again starts to text me, nd we talked again with each other , nd now i again said to her that i want to marry her, nd she said what i can say , but i really respect ur feelings ,now but i can do , i want to merry her seriously , there is no single day when i dont remember her . 

Did you say to her "will u merrej to me?" 

Kudi viah nai karna chaundi twade nal. Kini vari daseh twanu? Stop thinking about her. Full stop. 

[dallysingh101]

Move on!

Time will heal your broken heart. 

[Guest Guest saul]

Thanks everyone , we are sikh , nd    I am also against to any these kind of relationship , i said i wanna merry her but now i try to move on , thanks again