Guest VaheguruJiKaSevak

Siblings and their actions

13 posts in this topic

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Daas is very distrubed and very saddened. A little bit about me, I am a university student, amritshak, gurmat bibeki, and the only one to have been blessed with amrit in my family. Daas has recently found out about what my sibling (not amritshak) has been doing. Recently I found maaf karna not trying to nindiya or anything just need help because my soul is deeply distrubed by this. Found very sinful photos of my sibling on their personal device which they are sharing with another person. I seriously do not know how to approach this situation please help me out. 

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Check out gurmatbibek.com

Try to talk to your sibling and tell them all the negative consequences of kaam and porn, ( u might have to research this but its addictive, ur tolerance levels go up, its basically like a drug) if u read stories of ppl who r addicted, their lives are horrible, u can search up some stories on this forum, but they might be explicit.

If ur sibling gets mad and says none of ur business, then u could threaten to tell ur parents. U dont have to tell, but u can scare ur sibling from stopping, if they r younger, then u could impose rules like i will check ur phone n call logs

Also do as much extra paath for this sibling. And ardaas that guruji saves them from this destructive obstacle in life. This willhelp alot, slowly but surely

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my main worry is if it is a girl , she may be being groomed ...also revenge release of such pictures is going to be very destructive

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Yes Daas has done ardas for this situation I have talked to my sibling but she is not reasoning and very good actor and plays everyone as fools. My dad would kill her if he finds out so I don't want to tell my parents. But I feel helpless my self I don't know how approach this situation but yes Guru sahib will take of it all. Those are her karams and daas has his own. But still I feel very disgusted and feel as if I could have done something before to stop this from happening

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You are a gursikh so you should know that you are committing a big paap by keeping this from your parents. What is the point of keeping all this rehat if you don't tell your parents the truth??

The only right thing to do here is tell your parents and let them deal with it. They are older, more experienced than you and the ones who have birth to you and your sibling, therefore they are the best people to deal with this situation.As their child it is your religious duty (dharam) to inform them of what your sibling has done. You don't need to be thinking about how your parents will handle it, leave that to them, you do your duty.

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I think u r her brother, not her dad, rite?

so ur duty is to inform about her to ur parents, parents have always always lots of experience, they are always very very wise and solved persons.

 

PLEASE DONT ACT AS U R HER FATHER, tell ur parents eqch and everything in DETAILS, let them take decisions 

 

remember, u r not wiser than ur parents

thanks

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Bro ,

your duty as a sikh is to protect your siblings from danger even if it's self-generated , if she is pulling the wool over your family's eyes yu need to let them know the truth . I know parents say things but no one really kills their children if they love them , and I have the feeling that your Father will be shocked but he will handle it better than you think. Your sis may be angry at you but sometimes you have to take the rough to get to the smooth. Be strong , do ardas and do the right things tell your family.Don't prewarn her as she will destroy evidence, catch her on hop.

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JKV-London, you are a very smart man! I respect you very much!

You need to spend more time with your sister and tell her the danger and disrespect that this could bring to her in later age. It is not about the family but her own benefit she needs to realize that living in London does not release her from responsibility to respect her family. She can only get away with it for so long.

If your father will get angry knowing all this. You don't want to escalate the situation at this point. You should bring this up to your mother and tell her find a way to ask your father to handle this situation. Getting angry and loosing your family member is not going to help. If she continues, watch her back and continue to help her out. She will realize one day that you care and is looking after her better interests in life. Our lost brothers and sisters are the one who usually deliver when the time comes. They have had experienced the other side already. She may end up following your life style in the near future. don't be mad and don't give up on her!

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To Moderator, please address my last post to Guest VaheguruJiKaSev. I wrongly addressed it to JKV. -thanks

 

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On 06/01/2017 at 2:57 AM, Guest VaheguruJiKaSevak said:

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Daas is very distrubed and very saddened. A little bit about me, I am a university student, amritshak, gurmat bibeki, and the only one to have been blessed with amrit in my family. Daas has recently found out about what my sibling (not amritshak) has been doing. Recently I found maaf karna not trying to nindiya or anything just need help because my soul is deeply distrubed by this. Found very sinful photos of my sibling on their personal device which they are sharing with another person. I seriously do not know how to approach this situation please help me out. 

WJKK WJKF 

 

BROTHER i was in a very similar situation to this, nearly exactly the same.  if u want to talk about it message me privately as i do not wish to share the details publicly. 

 

WjKK WJKF

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On 08/01/2017 at 7:25 PM, Guest Toofan Singh said:

JKV-London, you are a very smart man! I respect you very much!

You need to spend more time with your sister and tell her the danger and disrespect that this could bring to her in later age. It is not about the family but her own benefit she needs to realize that living in London does not release her from responsibility to respect her family. She can only get away with it for so long.

If your father will get angry knowing all this. You don't want to escalate the situation at this point. You should bring this up to your mother and tell her find a way to ask your father to handle this situation. Getting angry and loosing your family member is not going to help. If she continues, watch her back and continue to help her out. She will realize one day that you care and is looking after her better interests in life. Our lost brothers and sisters are the one who usually deliver when the time comes. They have had experienced the other side already. She may end up following your life style in the near future. don't be mad and don't give up on her!

it's ok I'm not a bloke and I went through serious issues too , and despite my fears I trusted my parents and told them the truth , sure they were hurt but after that they realised just how much I had sacrificed keeping things to myself as opposed to risking my family's future. 
The sister is unrepentant so going softly softly will only give her more time to manipulate, especially if you approach the Mother , it is unfair to push the Mother into the firing line instead of dealing directly by informing both parents so they can present a united front to their daughter. The brother OP is being ignored by the sister so he needs backup of his folks too, he is unexperienced after all of how to move on .

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Best way to deal wit this is by asking a trusted female to not tell anyone about the situation but have a word with your sister about dangers of grooming, sexeting and revenge porn.

My distant cousin sister foolish took naked pics of herself to send to a boy she liked on instagram he then started to blackmail her for more and got money of her. When she couldnt pay he posted her pics on social media and her family in india found out by facebook posts it was humiliating for them. Then her family beat her up in the uk and she called the cops who took her to womans refuge, and she hasnt come bck home since. They suspect she was groomed by a muslim boy but no one knows the truth.

So best advice is prevention is better than cure. Teach your daughters, sisters and brothers even these pics can destory lives and families. Becareful how you handle this matter as it could make your sis run away.

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I would take her phone message the guy and tell him go back off and tell your sister that you know or a female cousin or friend of hers you know.

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