Jump to content

Help


Guest Kaam da <banned word filter activated>
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest Kaam da <banned word filter activated>

wjkkwjkf

I am 15 years old boy and its been a year since iv gotton into sikhi. I stoped cutting my hair, try to do as much simran as i can, read gurbani and try to understand it. I have a masturbation problem and no matter what i do, i cannot control it and please dont say it is normal. I want to finish this addiction and never do it again.

Since iv gotten into sikhi i feel iv been going through a cycle of getting into sikhi, connecting with guru je and then losing it all to kaam. In more detail of the cycle: i dont masturbate for 1-5 days and  feel i am getting closer to guru je. Next 1-2 days My mind gets distracted on my phone and go on youtube for hours. I see something the creates a urge for the kaam i was holding back to spill out. 

Then i feel lots if guilt. Then in 2-5 days i get motivated again and say i wont do it this time matter what,but i still do it. The cycle restarts.

Sometimes i feel like killing myself because I think i am going to be stuck in this cycle for the rest of this life and no matter what i do i cannot stop it. I do lots of aardas to guru je and guru je has been very kind to me. Each time i fall, guru je gives me his hand to lift me up. This addiction is something i feel i need to conquer this myself because guru je has shown me the path, but i cannot expect guru je to put on my shoes for the trip.

Please please please help me i cannt live like this, after i masturbate i feel like killing myself because i lost all the simran i did and feel i am losing precious breaths i could have used to connect with out beloved.

And so i come to this fourm asking for help, tips, personal experience, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Treat yourself as if u do have bipolar/split personality disorder: Now the "Im a good sikh" personality is on top. Give it a name Gurmukh/ Babbar Singh/Kuldeep Singh. Ok Gurmukh, i dont know how much time we have before the other guy shows up. I wont be able to control myself once he gets here, so let me put up precautions. First of all, let me avoid the triggers that might set off the other guy: no tv, no internet, no being idle, no freetime.

Second, keep ur self busy at all times. Keep ur self in sangat, so that ur bad personality Manmukh/ jazzybains/  kanyewest wont want to show up at that time. But even if jazzy shows up, cant really do much damage, except make u feel restless and want to go home. " man ni lagda" lets go home, dont listen to it!!! Stay there. At home have a schedule so u are not idle, have sukhmani sahib and sehaj paath scheduled into ur day, keep doing good things that will keep jazzy far away. But if u feel him coming, run towards either a friends house, gurudwara, or go talk to ur family. Basically go where theres ppl, and where jazzy cant make u do stuff

Third, keep a calendar or list or app to motivate yourself. Like ive gone this many days without letting jazzy win. Im on a streak, ive done nitnem everyday, let me not break the streak! Also if jazzy comes along and tries to tempt u , try to fight him, and when he makes u do things, tell him ok i will listen just wait 2 minutes before doing the bad thing. Only 2 minutes. They say if u can hold off on temptation for 2-3 minutes, it goes away. Sometimes it might get stronger,  time urself, see how long u can hold off, then try to beat ur record everyday, even by 1 sec. Also when thoughts come, label them and watch them, like now kaam is trying to attack me. My mind feels like going on the computer to listen to kirtan. Is this a trick by jazzy, to get me to the computer? So avoid it. Im bored, lets go on the internet. "Trick by kaam, to make me fall. Try again kaam"  so watch ur thoughts, if u can stop the bad thoughts as soon as they come, bad actions will never happen.

Fourth, do ardaas to guruji, please help me im trying my best. But kaam is a big soorbir, i need ur help. Help me like u helped joga singh, i am ur sikh too. Help me. And if u r putting in sincere effort to stop and fight kaam, the faster ur ardaas will be heard

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/9/2017 at 0:53 PM, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Treat yourself as if u do have bipolar/split personality disorder: Now the "Im a good sikh" personality is on top. Give it a name Gurmukh/ Babbar Singh/Kuldeep Singh. Ok Gurmukh, i dont know how much time we have before the other guy shows up. I wont be able to control myself once he gets here, so let me put up precautions. First of all, let me avoid the triggers that might set off the other guy: no tv, no internet, no being idle, no freetime.

Second, keep ur self busy at all times. Keep ur self in sangat, so that ur bad personality Manmukh/ jazzybains/  kanyewest wont want to show up at that time. But even if jazzy shows up, cant really do much damage, except make u feel restless and want to go home. " man ni lagda" lets go home, dont listen to it!!! Stay there. At home have a schedule so u are not idle, have sukhmani sahib and sehaj paath scheduled into ur day, keep doing good things that will keep jazzy far away. But if u feel him coming, run towards either a friends house, gurudwara, or go talk to ur family. Basically go where theres ppl, and where jazzy cant make u do stuff

Third, keep a calendar or list or app to motivate yourself. Like ive gone this many days without letting jazzy win. Im on a streak, ive done nitnem everyday, let me not break the streak! Also if jazzy comes along and tries to tempt u , try to fight him, and when he makes u do things, tell him ok i will listen just wait 2 minutes before doing the bad thing. Only 2 minutes. They say if u can hold off on temptation for 2-3 minutes, it goes away. Sometimes it might get stronger,  time urself, see how long u can hold off, then try to beat ur record everyday, even by 1 sec. Also when thoughts come, label them and watch them, like now kaam is trying to attack me. My mind feels like going on the computer to listen to kirtan. Is this a trick by jazzy, to get me to the computer? So avoid it. Im bored, lets go on the internet. "Trick by kaam, to make me fall. Try again kaam"  so watch ur thoughts, if u can stop the bad thoughts as soon as they come, bad actions will never happen.

Fourth, do ardaas to guruji, please help me im trying my best. But kaam is a big soorbir, i need ur help. Help me like u helped joga singh, i am ur sikh too. Help me. And if u r putting in sincere effort to stop and fight kaam, the faster ur ardaas will be heard

 

 

On 1/9/2017 at 2:10 PM, 5akaalsingh said:

Yeah, that's a very serious problem, especially when you are a teenager...

A friend of mine had this problem. He thought that it was beneficial for his health and also believed every bull5hit he heard from his white friends. The best way to tackle it is actually to convince yourself that this action is a grave sin. Here are some tips:

 1. In your spare time, do naam simran. Try to do your daily nitnem, be sure you do kirtan sohila before sleep. See educational videos, especially those from Basics of Sikhi (How to control lust, man nu kive tikauna etc)

2. See the negative effects of masturbation (you can google them)

3. There is good chance that you may indulge in such activities due to the fact that you see alot of people around do it. Try to find good company and friends.

4.Kill a bad thought as soon as you can. Recognize it is as a very immoral action and that you shouldn't even think of doing such actions even in your dreams

You can convince yourself that if this action is not doing any good to you, that it is against Sikh principles and that a good Singh would never fall victim of lust.

 

Thank you. I will try these out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use