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[Guest Kaam da <banned word filter activated>]

wjkkwjkf

I am 15 years old boy and its been a year since iv gotton into sikhi. I stoped cutting my hair, try to do as much simran as i can, read gurbani and try to understand it. I have a masturbation problem and no matter what i do, i cannot control it and please dont say it is normal. I want to finish this addiction and never do it again.

Since iv gotten into sikhi i feel iv been going through a cycle of getting into sikhi, connecting with guru je and then losing it all to kaam. In more detail of the cycle: i dont masturbate for 1-5 days and  feel i am getting closer to guru je. Next 1-2 days My mind gets distracted on my phone and go on youtube for hours. I see something the creates a urge for the kaam i was holding back to spill out. 

Then i feel lots if guilt. Then in 2-5 days i get motivated again and say i wont do it this time matter what,but i still do it. The cycle restarts.

Sometimes i feel like killing myself because I think i am going to be stuck in this cycle for the rest of this life and no matter what i do i cannot stop it. I do lots of aardas to guru je and guru je has been very kind to me. Each time i fall, guru je gives me his hand to lift me up. This addiction is something i feel i need to conquer this myself because guru je has shown me the path, but i cannot expect guru je to put on my shoes for the trip.

Please please please help me i cannt live like this, after i masturbate i feel like killing myself because i lost all the simran i did and feel i am losing precious breaths i could have used to connect with out beloved.

And so i come to this fourm asking for help, tips, personal experience, etc.

 Like this

[Not2Cool2Argue]

Treat yourself as if u do have bipolar/split personality disorder: Now the "Im a good sikh" personality is on top. Give it a name Gurmukh/ Babbar Singh/Kuldeep Singh. Ok Gurmukh, i dont know how much time we have before the other guy shows up. I wont be able to control myself once he gets here, so let me put up precautions. First of all, let me avoid the triggers that might set off the other guy: no tv, no internet, no being idle, no freetime.

Second, keep ur self busy at all times. Keep ur self in sangat, so that ur bad personality Manmukh/ jazzybains/  kanyewest wont want to show up at that time. But even if jazzy shows up, cant really do much damage, except make u feel restless and want to go home. " man ni lagda" lets go home, dont listen to it!!! Stay there. At home have a schedule so u are not idle, have sukhmani sahib and sehaj paath scheduled into ur day, keep doing good things that will keep jazzy far away. But if u feel him coming, run towards either a friends house, gurudwara, or go talk to ur family. Basically go where theres ppl, and where jazzy cant make u do stuff

Third, keep a calendar or list or app to motivate yourself. Like ive gone this many days without letting jazzy win. Im on a streak, ive done nitnem everyday, let me not break the streak! Also if jazzy comes along and tries to tempt u , try to fight him, and when he makes u do things, tell him ok i will listen just wait 2 minutes before doing the bad thing. Only 2 minutes. They say if u can hold off on temptation for 2-3 minutes, it goes away. Sometimes it might get stronger,  time urself, see how long u can hold off, then try to beat ur record everyday, even by 1 sec. Also when thoughts come, label them and watch them, like now kaam is trying to attack me. My mind feels like going on the computer to listen to kirtan. Is this a trick by jazzy, to get me to the computer? So avoid it. Im bored, lets go on the internet. "Trick by kaam, to make me fall. Try again kaam"  so watch ur thoughts, if u can stop the bad thoughts as soon as they come, bad actions will never happen.

Fourth, do ardaas to guruji, please help me im trying my best. But kaam is a big soorbir, i need ur help. Help me like u helped joga singh, i am ur sikh too. Help me. And if u r putting in sincere effort to stop and fight kaam, the faster ur ardaas will be heard

 

[Guest Kaamee]

On 1/9/2017 at 0:53 PM, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Treat yourself as if u do have bipolar/split personality disorder: Now the "Im a good sikh" personality is on top. Give it a name Gurmukh/ Babbar Singh/Kuldeep Singh. Ok Gurmukh, i dont know how much time we have before the other guy shows up. I wont be able to control myself once he gets here, so let me put up precautions. First of all, let me avoid the triggers that might set off the other guy: no tv, no internet, no being idle, no freetime.

Second, keep ur self busy at all times. Keep ur self in sangat, so that ur bad personality Manmukh/ jazzybains/  kanyewest wont want to show up at that time. But even if jazzy shows up, cant really do much damage, except make u feel restless and want to go home. " man ni lagda" lets go home, dont listen to it!!! Stay there. At home have a schedule so u are not idle, have sukhmani sahib and sehaj paath scheduled into ur day, keep doing good things that will keep jazzy far away. But if u feel him coming, run towards either a friends house, gurudwara, or go talk to ur family. Basically go where theres ppl, and where jazzy cant make u do stuff

Third, keep a calendar or list or app to motivate yourself. Like ive gone this many days without letting jazzy win. Im on a streak, ive done nitnem everyday, let me not break the streak! Also if jazzy comes along and tries to tempt u , try to fight him, and when he makes u do things, tell him ok i will listen just wait 2 minutes before doing the bad thing. Only 2 minutes. They say if u can hold off on temptation for 2-3 minutes, it goes away. Sometimes it might get stronger,  time urself, see how long u can hold off, then try to beat ur record everyday, even by 1 sec. Also when thoughts come, label them and watch them, like now kaam is trying to attack me. My mind feels like going on the computer to listen to kirtan. Is this a trick by jazzy, to get me to the computer? So avoid it. Im bored, lets go on the internet. "Trick by kaam, to make me fall. Try again kaam"  so watch ur thoughts, if u can stop the bad thoughts as soon as they come, bad actions will never happen.

Fourth, do ardaas to guruji, please help me im trying my best. But kaam is a big soorbir, i need ur help. Help me like u helped joga singh, i am ur sikh too. Help me. And if u r putting in sincere effort to stop and fight kaam, the faster ur ardaas will be heard

 

 

On 1/9/2017 at 2:10 PM, 5akaalsingh said:

Yeah, that's a very serious problem, especially when you are a teenager...

A friend of mine had this problem. He thought that it was beneficial for his health and also believed every bull5hit he heard from his white friends. The best way to tackle it is actually to convince yourself that this action is a grave sin. Here are some tips:

 1. In your spare time, do naam simran. Try to do your daily nitnem, be sure you do kirtan sohila before sleep. See educational videos, especially those from Basics of Sikhi (How to control lust, man nu kive tikauna etc)

2. See the negative effects of masturbation (you can google them)

3. There is good chance that you may indulge in such activities due to the fact that you see alot of people around do it. Try to find good company and friends.

4.Kill a bad thought as soon as you can. Recognize it is as a very immoral action and that you shouldn't even think of doing such actions even in your dreams

You can convince yourself that if this action is not doing any good to you, that it is against Sikh principles and that a good Singh would never fall victim of lust.

 

Thank you. I will try these out.