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Guest Wondering

Marrying from back home

78 posts in this topic

On ‎11‎/‎01‎/‎2017 at 11:41 AM, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Man not another jagsaw singh, who takes all disagreements as personal attacks. Can you not address peoples arguments without insulting them? And if someone disagrees, theyre not being insulting, they just dont agree, so please dont take offense.

You have a jaded point of view on the topic and are only trying to protect your original stand here.  If you were honest about telling people to stop insulting others.  You would have posted against poster harsharan a long time ago.  

Quote

But u did assume that i have western masters and cant read, and only because i think western girls arent all bad means im a slave to western masters. I didnt address some of ur points as u would like so i cant read.....so whos being an illogical, assumptive, generalizing, antagonizing weirdo that likes to  insult ppl to start fights?

I called you a western master slave because you went with what you wanted to accuse me of saying, rather than going with what I said.  I clearly laid out what type of girls in Punjab are bad and to avoid.  Instead of going with what I said, you accuse me of what I have not said.  So this makes you an illogical assumptive, generalizing, antagonizing weirdo that likes to blame people for what they have not stated and start a fight.

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18 hours ago, Akalifauj said:

I called you a western master slave because you went with what you wanted to accuse me of saying, rather than going with what I said.  I clearly laid out what type of girls in Punjab are bad and to avoid.  Instead of going with what I said, you accuse me of what I have not said.  So this makes you an illogical assumptive, generalizing, antagonizing weirdo that likes to blame people for what they have not stated and start a fight.

Apology accepted.

So...when are u getting married?

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17 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Apology accepted.

So...when are u getting married?

Never apologized because I did nothing wrong.  Yet are you going to acknowledge the swearing coming out of poster harsharan and let him know to stop?  A Sikh doesn't pick sides, a Sikh stands by truth.  Let's see how long it will take you to acknowledge his wrong doing.  I am guessing you will never do it and it shows your dedication to Sikhi.

Do you have a girl in your house that needs a rishta?  Is this why you are asking when I will get married.

Edited by Akalifauj

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8 hours ago, Akalifauj said:

Never apologized because I did nothing wrong.  Yet are you going to acknowledge the swearing coming out of poster harsharan and let him know to stop?  A Sikh doesn't pick sides, a Sikh stands by truth.  Let's see how long it will take you to acknowledge his wrong doing.  I am guessing you will never do it and it shows your dedication to Sikhi.

Do you have a girl in your house that needs a rishta?  Is this why you are asking when I will get married.

I wouldnt ruin any girls life like that.

Veer Harsharan singh has the right to self defense. Anyone would become angry after the way you provoked him. Though he should stop using the word f*d* 

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12 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Veer Harsharan singh has the right to self defense. Anyone would become angry after the way you provoked him. Though he should stop using the word f*d* 

Poster Harsharan declares himself to be a Sant Sipahe and Sants do not get angry.  They are like the lotus flower.  Even Gursikhs avoid anger, so I wonder what you are saying with your comment on Harsharan. Finally, some honesty coming from your post; poster Harsharan should stop using the word f*d*.

Quote

I wouldnt ruin any girls life like that.

I see your point.  Reading your post on this topic makes it clear a girl from your house would be liberal minded.  Intermingling, experimenting with the bad side of life would be considered.........they are teens, that's what teens do.  The double standard would be there as well.  Other people's daughters would be judged with Sikhi teachings and not the rishta you were questioning me about.  This girl would be allowed to misbehave as long as the father doesn't know and especially done behind closed doors in a different state and/or country.  The slogan.........what is done in vegas stays in vegas will be the family cheer.  I remember one such family, their daughter was shown in the community to be noble and not promiscuous.  She would change clothing in the background while her brother video chatted with friends in the same room.  Even sit in her underwear watching tv in front of the parents, but in public she was the good girl; the role model every girl should be following.  She wasn't amritdhari, but the family was seen in the public as girsikh.  So thank you for your honesty.  I can see how your rishta with me would end with ruining her life.  I would be saying don't be promiscuous and she would be like you are old, backward...this is the 21 century....paaath is part of the later centuries, I just need to be a good person. 

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On 1/2/2017 at 1:02 PM, Guest Wondering said:

a right to drive.  

 

Driving is a privilege, not a right

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7 hours ago, Akalifauj said:

Poster Harsharan declares himself to be a Sant Sipahe and Sants do not get angry.  They are like the lotus flower.  Even Gursikhs avoid anger, so I wonder what you are saying with your comment on Harsharan. Finally, some honesty coming from your post; poster Harsharan should stop using the word f*d*

I see your point.  Reading your post on this topic makes it clear a girl from your house would be liberal

Im glad we agree 

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I'm going to offer an alternative view.

Most people who immigrated to Uk and are over 50, had minimal eduction. They sold whatever small land holdings they had and went over to Uk to make more money and what they thought was a better life.

When they say they want a woman from India it's a projection of their own insecurities, lack of eduction and mindset. The same woman from their background in the pind has already made plans of how she'll bring her family over. This is the same woman that will say hanji hanji to her mil and then abuse her mil in her old age. And this is sadly the appropriate response to the wants of a backward mentality.

I have seen many of these girls from the pind doing the same as girls in the city. The only reason you here less of them is because they covet their tracks better and lie 

I've lived in india,uk and Canada and the US for years. A good decent sikh woman will be the same in all. Good family values, Educated parents,and secure.

 

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On 7 February 2017 at 11:46 AM, Guest Kaur said:

I'm going to offer an alternative view.

Most people who immigrated to Uk and are over 50, had minimal eduction. They sold whatever small land holdings they had and went over to Uk to make more money and what they thought was a better life.

When they say they want a woman from India it's a projection of their own insecurities, lack of eduction and mindset. The same woman from their background in the pind has already made plans of how she'll bring her family over. This is the same woman that will say hanji hanji to her mil and then abuse her mil in her old age. And this is sadly the appropriate response to the wants of a backward mentality.

I have seen many of these girls from the pind doing the same as girls in the city. The only reason you here less of them is because they covet their tracks better and lie 

I've lived in india,uk and Canada and the US for years. A good decent sikh woman will be the same in all. Good family values, Educated parents,and secure.

 

Parents play safe when it comes to arranging marriage of kids.

If their priority is traditional values then it's better to get a daughter in law from India.

Modern, earning grown ups can decide whom they want to marry if they have the balls to move out of family home and be truly independent.

Edited by singhbj singh
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1 hour ago, singhbj singh said:

Parents play safe when it comes to arranging marriage of kids.

If their priority is traditional values then it's better to get a daughter in law from India.

Modern, earning grown ups can decide whom they want to marry if they have the balls to move out of family home and be truly independent.

Things in India are changing very fast in India, it is getting harder to get a girl who has these traditional values.

I think the realisation is that your daughter in law will not be looking after you in your old age.

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On ‎06‎/‎02‎/‎2017 at 10:16 PM, Guest Kaur said:

I'm going to offer an alternative view.

Most people who immigrated to Uk and are over 50, had minimal eduction. They sold whatever small land holdings they had and went over to Uk to make more money and what they thought was a better life.

When they say they want a woman from India it's a projection of their own insecurities, lack of eduction and mindset. The same woman from their background in the pind has already made plans of how she'll bring her family over. This is the same woman that will say hanji hanji to her mil and then abuse her mil in her old age. And this is sadly the appropriate response to the wants of a backward mentality.

I have seen many of these girls from the pind doing the same as girls in the city. The only reason you here less of them is because they covet their tracks better and lie 

I've lived in india,uk and Canada and the US for years. A good decent sikh woman will be the same in all. Good family values, Educated parents,and secure.

 

You have brought forward no new or alternative view at all.  Parents who migrated to the west see what the girls of Punjabi families are up to in the west.  They know of their fake han ji han ji attitude.  So they say, hell with these promiscuous women, better to search in india.  Tell me this, why does a Sikh woman wear a dastar on her head when she is going to wear a skirt?  Was it a cover one and reveal the other sale or something? Selfish brats is what Punjabi women grown up in the west are.  They don't care for anything other than their selfish animal instincts.  Then you have the girls going around saying everyone is my brother and meeting these brothers with big hugs.  Rainsabai kirtan sessions have at least 2 to 3 of these type hanging around....they be checking out the merchandise with the fat pockets.  Few weeks later she is breaking up with one of her brothers to date another one and its the talk of the rainsabai kirtan.  Then there are the ones saying every boy is just a friend.  It's similar as the brother scenario, but this time their is more friends in an interval.  I have to ask again, what the hell is the point of wearing a dastar or covering your head in a different manner and the Sikh woman breast are almost hanging out?  I am waiting for the selfish attitude......how does it go again....its my body I can do what I want with it.  Just the other day a soft spoken Punjabi girl from the west was saying how she would marrying a guy only if the guy's parents will not be living with them.  This the affirmative action taking woman every man wants, kick those no good parents out for raising you and giving you a roof and paying for your education.  And keep the brat in the house.  I'd rather put a gun to my head and take the easy way out.  Have you ever read Kalki Avatar, if not, I really recommend you do and pay close attention to when Guru Sahib says the roles have changed, which means the world has a backward mentality.  Or as a western women disregard Guru Sahib's reality and stick to your view........how does that go again.......

Western girls can never cover their tracks on social dating sites.  There double shifting parents are always on the new and latest dating sites spying.  They be making those dating apps for their young daughters to lose their self respect on.  Get real, one click and in a hour I will find at least 5 Punjabi women looking to hook up on social media.  And give it couple more hours and there will be a dastar wearing one as well.  Western Punjabi women have changed their values.  They find it acceptable to date, have boyfriends, have a fling with no strings attached.  They want to be experienced in this aspect of life before they find the right guy to choke to death with their messy past.   

Then lastly, there are a few punjabi women born in the west and they don't act or behave like western women.  This is because they don't hold to western values and value eastern values.  They rather have the guys parents living with them.  They don't mind taking care of the children, doing house choirs and being a part of the family unit.  They don't have the selfish behaviour as the western punjabi women.  They don't see the benefit of hugging random guys and calling them brothers, only to date them later.  They value the Gurus advice or have a moral compass telling them it is wrong.  Their demeanor is very different from western women.  These are the western punjabi girls a guy should be looking to marry.  Everyone else should be on a 10 feet radius and stick a pole out so she can't get near you status.

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2 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Things in India are changing very fast in India, it is getting harder to get a girl who has these traditional values.

I think the realisation is that your daughter in law will not be looking after you in your old age.

Problem is people wanting best of both worlds !

Sensible parents will marry their kids at a young age.

That way they can groom the daughter in law as per family requirements.

Greedy look for educated-earning D.I.L but they forget she's not going to give her pay check to hubby forget in-laws.

And how fond will she be of cooking, cleaning & take care of in-laws is anybody's guess.

So either get Arranged at young age and marry a homemaker.

Or find a working girl, marry her, move out, make a fresh start, live your own life.

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1 hour ago, singhbj singh said:

Modern, earning grown ups can decide whom they want to marry if they have the balls to move out of family home and be truly independent.

Traditional values are modern values by Sikhi standards, which make a person modern.  The values (people) you are calling modern are actually backward because they have no respect for parents.  How independent was your decision to lower Gurbani to your animal instincts in the other thread and then to mistranslate Gurbani?  For a fact you were influenced by your so called modern values to disrespect Gurbani.  It takes balls to stand up for Gurbani and for the parents who raised you.  Any brainless child can leave their parents behind and society is full of such people.  Short sighted thinking and two seconds of satisfactions has got you in the mess of mistranslating Gurbani to support your lustful act.      

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7 minutes ago, Akalifauj said:

Traditional values are modern values by Sikhi standards, which make a person modern.  The values (people) you are calling modern are actually backward because they have no respect for parents.  How independent was your decision to lower Gurbani to your animal instincts in the other thread and then to mistranslate Gurbani?  For a fact you were influenced by your so called modern values to disrespect Gurbani.  It takes balls to stand up for Gurbani and for the parents who raised you.  Any brainless child can leave their parents behind and society is full of such people.  Short sighted thinking and two seconds of satisfactions has got you in the mess of mistranslating Gurbani to support your lustful act.      

Guru Sahibaan's were Grehasti so the literal meaning is valid !

Taking cue from Sikh history didn't Guru Nanak Dev Sahib ji leave Nankana Sahib and family home ?

So why all the fuss !

 

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13 minutes ago, singhbj singh said:

Guru Sahibaan's were Grehasti so the literal meaning is valid !

The literal meaning of the shabd was explained to you and the man in the literal meaning is the Guru as the lines before defined Guru Sahib as the one who satisfies.  And the person is the woman, which would be you in the literal meaning.  Do you not know how to read Gurbani?

Quote

Taking cue from Sikh history didn't Guru Nanak Dev Sahib ji leave Nankana Sahib and family home ?

So why all the fuss !

You and rest of the lot want to leave the parents because you want to leave the parents.  Majority of the time is because the wife wants to have alone time all over the house with the husband.  Sri Guru Nanak Dev ji did not leave because he wanted to leave the parents.  Guru Sahib went on udasis to teach and created new Sikh places to teach out of. Completely different and they can't even be compared in anyway.

Edited by Akalifauj

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42 minutes ago, singhbj singh said:

Problem is people wanting best of both worlds !

Sensible parents will marry their kids at a young age.

That way they can groom the daughter in law as per family requirements.

Greedy look for educated-earning D.I.L but they forget she's not going to give her pay check to hubby forget in-laws.

And how fond will she be of cooking, cleaning & take care of in-laws is anybody's guess.

So either get Arranged at young age and marry a homemaker.

Or find a working girl, marry her, move out, make a fresh start, live your own life.

I am always puzzled with this word "educated".

Education for our people is status related, it's not out of the love of learning or out of intellectual curiosity.

Also, I cannot see this repetitive cycle of getting married to a girl from India who then gives birth to a daughter born in the west and then having to get another girl from India if she has a son. The buck has to stop somewhere.

The only way to get back to these traditional values is to get a girl who has not carried on with her education.

But that is not going to happen if being "educated" is the be all and end all for everything.

But as per usual our people are not aware of these paradoxes/ironies/cognitive dissonances.

They seem to be very comfortable with these contradictions.

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1 hour ago, Ranjeet01 said:

I am always puzzled with this word "educated".

Education for our people is status related, it's not out of the love of learning or out of intellectual curiosity.

Also, I cannot see this repetitive cycle of getting married to a girl from India who then gives birth to a daughter born in the west and then having to get another girl from India if she has a son. The buck has to stop somewhere.

The only way to get back to these traditional values is to get a girl who has not carried on with her education.

But that is not going to happen if being "educated" is the be all and end all for everything.

But as per usual our people are not aware of these paradoxes/ironies/cognitive dissonances.

They seem to be very comfortable with these contradictions.

problem is it's a dilemma they want an educated DIL so she can work and earn to support them and her family and yet disparage her for having an education as if learning is a curse. If you want traditional values then get an educated DIL , educated in Gurmat, Gur Itihass, Gurbani Santhiya, Kirtan , if she's been doing that studying hardly likely she's gonna have time or inclination to be bad .

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People have stupid priorities that really shouldn't matter in the way they think it'll benefit them. Especially with this education thing; how is marrying a buffon going to help their son?

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10 hours ago, Akalifauj said:

The literal meaning of the shabd was explained to you and the man in the literal meaning is the Guru as the lines before defined Guru Sahib as the one who satisfies.  And the person is the woman, which would be you in the literal meaning.  Do you not know how to read Gurbani?

By using man & woman as RUPAK shows advocacy of married lifestyle n LATER heterosexual relationship by Gurbani.

10 hours ago, Akalifauj said:

You and rest of the lot want to leave the parents because you want to leave the parents.  Majority of the time is because the wife wants to have alone time all over the house with the husband.  Sri Guru Nanak Dev ji did not leave because he wanted to leave the parents.  Guru Sahib went on udasis to teach and created new Sikh places to teach out of. Completely different and they can't even be compared in anyway.

Check the facts Guru ji left for Sultanpur Lodhi & later established Kartarpur.

This was not during Udasis.

Taking a job at Sultanpur was due to differences with father coz they didn't get along.

 

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10 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

I am always puzzled with this word "educated".

Education for our people is status related, it's not out of the love of learning or out of intellectual curiosity.

Also, I cannot see this repetitive cycle of getting married to a girl from India who then gives birth to a daughter born in the west and then having to get another girl from India if she has a son. The buck has to stop somewhere.

The only way to get back to these traditional values is to get a girl who has not carried on with her education.

But that is not going to happen if being "educated" is the be all and end all for everything.

But as per usual our people are not aware of these paradoxes/ironies/cognitive dissonances.

They seem to be very comfortable with these contradictions.

Put your self in punjabi parent's shoes.

They were not Educated enough to establish themselves in India so they decided to migrate.

Migration was no walk in the park for them so can't blame them.

Nobody is forcing anyone to get married in India, just trying to highlight the rationale behind doing so.

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13 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

Put your self in punjabi parent's shoes.

They were not Educated enough to establish themselves in India so they decided to migrate.

Migration was no walk in the park for them so can't blame them.

Nobody is forcing anyone to get married in India, just trying to highlight the rationale behind doing so.

No need to generalize everyone like that, there are plenty of teachers etc from India who have also migrated here. 

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On 12/02/2017 at 9:40 PM, jkvlondon said:

problem is it's a dilemma they want an educated DIL so she can work and earn to support them and her family and yet disparage her for having an education as if learning is a curse. If you want traditional values then get an educated DIL , educated in Gurmat, Gur Itihass, Gurbani Santhiya, Kirtan , if she's been doing that studying hardly likely she's gonna have time or inclination to be bad .

I expect that in the coming years that there is going to be a sea change.

I think your age group are going to be a litmus test on this as the first crop UK born Sikhs will have their children married and become grandparents.

We are probably there already with a few trickles but there is going to be a deluge.

It is your age group/generation who will prepare to have an empty nest.

 

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15 hours ago, Preeet said:

No need to generalize everyone like that, there are plenty of teachers etc from India who have also migrated here. 

Ok !

How does it help in marrying ?

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7 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

Ok !

How does it help in marrying ?

I guess marrying just in general comes to preference regarding the person who is seeking. If someone wants to from asia then that is their wish. After all, this is merely sanyog.

Edited by Preeet
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