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Marrying from back home


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9 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

You are not from the UK and I don't where you live but it is not the case in UK 2017.

The majority of UK born Sikhs are 2nd/3rd even 4th generation Sikhs.

When I meant intention as per what the O.P., I was alluding to the fact that girls in the UK are up front in what their intentions are for marriage. For example, they do not want to live with their in-laws and they will openly express it. The in-laws will understand this and may compromise and say live with us for 6 months and then move out.

A girl from Punjab could say that she wants to live her in-laws but slowly and gradually turn her husband away from his family. Once she does this, she will try to bring her own pekheh over so that her family is in the sphere of influence.

Girls from Punjab know how to keep quiet and work in sly cunning way. Whereas a UK girl is more likely show her hand early on.

However if the Punjab girl's mother-in-law is from Punjab herself, she will quickly suss out what her daughter-in-law is upto as she is from the same cultural background and can see the tell tale signs and anticipate her moves.

Are you sure your name isn't Joginder Bassi?

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Akalifauj paji, thus bit isn't right. 

"But girls in the pind that have their family and brothers and cousins to watch out for them have not indulged in this behaviour.  They had no chance and their moral compass does not allow them.  There sangat never existed of girls who were promiscuous and if, ever they befriend a girl who is.  The brother makes sure that friendship does not last more than 2 seconds."

They are the same as city girls, just undercover. 

 

13 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

You are not from the UK and I don't where you live but it is not the case in UK 2017.

The majority of UK born Sikhs are 2nd/3rd even 4th generation Sikhs.

When I meant intention as per what the O.P., I was alluding to the fact that girls in the UK are up front in what their intentions are for marriage. For example, they do not want to live with their in-laws and they will openly express it. The in-laws will understand this and may compromise and say live with us for 6 months and then move out.

A girl from Punjab could say that she wants to live her in-laws but slowly and gradually turn her husband away from his family. Once she does this, she will try to bring her own pekheh over so that her family is in the sphere of influence.

Girls from Punjab know how to keep quiet and work in sly cunning way. Whereas a UK girl is more likely show her hand early on.

However if the Punjab girl's mother-in-law is from Punjab herself, she will quickly suss out what her daughter-in-law is upto as she is from the same cultural background and can see the tell tale signs and anticipate her moves.

True. 

Its not just the girls, the guys also play a part. Plenty can be said about them too who come over from Punjab. 

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3 hours ago, simran345 said:

Akalifauj paji, thus bit isn't right. 

"But girls in the pind that have their family and brothers and cousins to watch out for them have not indulged in this behaviour.  They had no chance and their moral compass does not allow them.  There sangat never existed of girls who were promiscuous and if, ever they befriend a girl who is.  The brother makes sure that friendship does not last more than 2 seconds."

They are the same as city girls, just undercover. 

 

True. 

Its not just the girls, the guys also play a part. Plenty can be said about them too who come over from Punjab. 

In the context of UK girl v Punjab girl.

However, male and female from Punjab have a more pragmarism and see marriage in a completely different context. We UK lot are far more idealistic.

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5 hours ago, simran345 said:

Akalifauj paji, thus bit isn't right. 

They are the same as city girls, just undercover. 

I'm not surprised you see things this way, after all you call water impure and alcohol as pure.  You praise the slander of others and justify it, but hate the slander of your forum husband harsharan after he praises false teachings.  Your like hitler, I hate/killed everyone else, but I'm a vegetarian. 

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3 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

In the context of UK girl v Punjab girl.

However, male and female from Punjab have a more pragmarism and see marriage in a completely different context. We UK lot are far more idealistic.

Sleeping around with random guys hopped on drugs after getting married is not idealistic.  The UK boy marries a UK born girls and she goes on her girl trips with friends.  What do you think these girls are doing?  Doing paath on these trips!  These girls never change, they go to clubs, get free drinks for grinding and making out with random guys and go back to a hotel room with bunch of random guys and sleep with them.  Ever heard of the story of a Punjabi wife taking her husbands sister out to vegas to meet up with their boyfriends and it was all caught on video by a private eye. Who ever thinks this is a rare, is living in the 50s when it comes to western Punjabi women.  These western Punjabi girls go on their stag/Bachelorette parties to hook up with random guys.  They are not sitting around in hotel rooms playing monopoly.  And these girls excuse, my soon to be husband will do the same or my husband is doing the same, so why can't I.  This is how intelligent these girls are.  And you call them idealistic.  Sitting on a beach half naked is ideal for you?    UK or any other western girl never tell their husband or future husband about what they have done in these settings.  So, they tell you they don't want to live with their father and mother inlaw. and you praise them for being rude and selfish?  Must be a giddar of a son who will accept a woman in his life that doesn't want to live with the inlaws.  That is such honesty, you should give these girls a prize, maybe a trip to Vegas for four nights.  These girls can't make their father in-law 3 meals a day, but can walk their dog and pick up the dogs cr*p to throw away in the garbage?  Talk about messed up morals.  What was the reason you praised them, because they tell you straight up, I will not be living with the in-laws.  You are the man in the house forsure!!      

Guys who have rishta in India from good families who took care of their daughters never have an issue of plotting and planning against inlaws.  The girls come here, get educated and attain good jobs.  They have no desire to go out clubbing or boozing and grinding on random guys.  They don't have a past in regards to dating or going around with a guy.  They have manners and get treated with respect as well.  Not like the western Punjabi girls, they have put fear in the in-laws and demand it even though she is dressed half naked in front of her father in-law.  Having drinking competitions with the husband and his friends, she's such a good girl, made me breakfast after a year.  I just got to get her a little more drunk and maybe she will make me dinner. 

I have stories regarding the dastar wearing and jora keeping western Punjabi girls as well.  I call it the biba putt syndrome.  Let's see how thick of a blanket you want to put on these western girls misdeeds.   

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2 hours ago, Akalifauj said:

I'm not surprised you see things this way, after all you call water impure and alcohol as pure.  You praise the slander of others and justify it, but hate the slander of your forum husband harsharan after he praises false teachings.  Your like hitler, I hate/killed everyone else, but I'm a vegetarian. 

That is insulting. She called u paji a respected brother and u paired her name up with someone?

Anyway, wat ur trying to defend is wrong. Everyone in this forum would be glad to say indian girls are better. But sadly they are not. Have you not heard the stories of of indian girls getting married, waiting for citzenship and then running away? 

And certainly rural girls are not better. When my american cousin went to india, the neighbors girl in the pind, convinced her to get a boyfriend. The pind Gurudwara has a school for boys to learn santhiya and katha. And thats who the neighbors girl got my cousin into contact with. And this is just one incident but since girls now go to schools, go learn sewing, beauty parlor, and other things the pind girls have alot of chances to misbehave. And they r motivated to misbehave due to drama serials, bollywood, and other bad girls. 

There r good girls too. Like one girl i met who said she would never refuse an arranged marriage because it would be a daagh on her dads pagh.

But theres no way to tell who is good or bad. Thats the point. Just being from a pind in not enough now to ensure ur moral character. The only way to make sure is that u know the family. Like ur dads friend vouches for this other family. Even then be careful of vicholas. Basically in arranged marriage the parents should make sure that the pair is compatible and to do that u must know both of them. So yes lots of marriages r happening between close acquaintances: 1) ppl want to help ppl they know come to the west instead  of strangers 2) less risk if u know the ppl

So in my family, 2 marriages happened where a guy from my nanas family married a girl from my nanis family

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