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Many times, a woman wants to simply feel heard


singhbj singh
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23 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

the truth is guys also talk with their mates at work/ home , often the women are isolated by the dual jobs and demands of being the primary caregiver , is it really so unreasonable to talk and share with their life partner , sometimes we have to smooth our husbands ruffled feathers or brows ...can you not do the same ? I do not see a reason to be so wound up by this. Most of the singhnian I know are not prone to moaning on every little thing , who has the luxury of time/energy for that

If a guy regularly does the equivalent of what my female friends call 'venting' to his male friends, he'll soon get a reputation as a whiny git who brings the mood down. lol

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26 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

If a guy regularly does the equivalent of what my female friends call 'venting' to his male friends, he'll soon get a reputation as a whiny git who brings the mood down. lol

yeah that's why they come home and do it to their long-suffering missus instead :)  worst will happen at work with mates  is they will rip the S out of him, and hopefully he will relent if he doesn't want a repeat. I know my Hubby's cycle for restlessness: every four years he'll suddenly get itchy feet and despondent about life (without  cause) , then there's the road rage and general peevishness after a tough week , That's when the mikey-taking skills, and gopi chand jasoos about work situ comes in handy ... 

Fact is we aren't so different I know loads of guys who like to be drama queens at home  I suspect it's just displacement

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2 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

yeah that's why they come home and do it to their long-suffering missus instead :)  worst will happen at work with mates  is they will rip the S out of him, and hopefully he will relent if he doesn't want a repeat. I know my Hubby's cycle for restlessness: every four years he'll suddenly get itchy feet and despondent about life (without  cause) , then there's the road rage and general peevishness after a tough week , That's when the mikey-taking skills, and gopi chand jasoos about work situ comes in handy ... 

Fact is we aren't so different I know loads of guys who like to be drama queens at home  I suspect it's just displacement

I think a lot of old school guys see it like: "I deal with this sh1t world outside everyday. At the end of it I just want to come home to a sanctuary that isn't full of conflict to rest and recuperate." So if you have a missus that is conflict inclined. Do the math. Usually I notice these guys get worn out physically and mentally and turn into docile mice like creatures.

But then again I have recently met married men with children who love coming to work to get away from the family. lol Work is like the highlight of the day. 

 

What is up with those male drama queens? 

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1 minute ago, dallysingh101 said:

I think a lot of old school guys see it like: "I deal with this sh1t world outside everyday. At the end of it I just want to come hone to a sanctuary that isn't full of conflict to rest and recuperate." So if you have a missus that is conflict inclined. Do the math. Usually I notice these guys get worn out physically and mentally and turn into docile mice like creatures.

But then again I have recently met married men with children who love coming to work to get away from the family. lol Work is like the highlight of the day. 

 

What is up with those male drama queens? 

sounds like my bro and his punjabi missus...

My hubby works with loads of the second type and they are forever making out that they have it tough at home then overcompensate at work with leery behaviour and sexist jokes , they are very resentful of anything they have to do any family stuff, and make endless schemes to get out of it to party with the office dudes. My husband just lets me know he has a something on and I'm cool  (I'm not mad ...I don't want a Drama Queen in my living room ) 'that's fine , have fun'  he has no fuel to complain. win-win

Drama Queens are just mummy boys who are triggered by life

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Guest Jacfsing2
25 minutes ago, Preeet said:

Wow, what is this talk? Our religion has no munda kuri farkh, so talks like this are simply a waste of time since we are all just atmans, and not bodies! 

These talks are basically a waste of time; if they want to talk about their problems they should be willing to hear a solution.

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47 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

These talks are basically a waste of time; if they want to talk about their problems they should be willing to hear a solution.

I've had that a few times. Female friends calling me about some issue and me pitching in with some strategies to counteract it.....and them getting peed off that I'm talking....what the heck?!?!?!

"I don't want you to say anything just listen!" what the heck?!?!?!?

 

Like I said, if women want one-way convos - talk to other women. 

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1 hour ago, Preeet said:

I was talking about these replies saying that theres a difference between girls and boys regarding atmans. There is no such difference in our religion. It is wrong to generalize genders.

it wasn't a subject about differenes in atma that would be pointless as one jot is much the same as another , but about human behaviour .

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24 minutes ago, Preeet said:

Behavior.. Behavior is emotional responses from a body containing an atman. Without an atman, what behavior is discussable? 

behaviour until one defeats the mind is driven from ego so yes it's maya driven ego responses , the atma is above it all remote because it operates on a different level.

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19 hours ago, Preeet said:

Behavior.. Behavior is emotional responses from a body containing an atman. Without an atman, what behavior is discussable? 

All behaviour is discussable. Especially destructive behaviour, as it is so common and easy to do - as well as harmful (me and you can do it as much as the next person). Behaviour can also be manipulated by outside forces. It's Pak understanding of the behaviour of many of our girls and our wider community (i.e. hiding things to keep face) that made them target us for grooming for instance. 

Look at CP in the Dasam Granth. That is essentially a massive exploration of behaviour.

And women and men do have different characteristics. It helps if we make efforts to understand each others differences sometimes. 

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