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Many times, a woman wants to simply feel heard


singhbj singh
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Many times, a woman wants to simply feel heard. She doesn’t always need you to solve her problems for her. So when she starts complaining about a bad boss or an annoying co-worker, just let her vent. Psychologist Manjit Kaur Khalsa said when women talk, it is not just to relay information. Women also use dialogue as a way to deepen intimacy. “A woman feels emotionally supported when you listen. It has been shown that men speak 2000 words a day, women, 7000. While men principally talk to relay facts, make a point, or achieve a goal, women speak for all of these reasons as well as for many other reasons such as to relieve stress, create intimacy, and form a bond,” said Khalsa.

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57 minutes ago, singhbj singh said:

 It has been shown that men speak 2000 words a day, women, 7000. While men principally talk to relay facts, make a point, or achieve a goal, women speak for all of these reasons as well as for many other reasons such as to relieve stress, create intimacy, and form a bond,” said Khalsa.

Yeah but sometimes when you've come home, tired after a grueling day at work, hearing about the minutia of your women's office job politics can feel like torture.....especially when 10x worse shite is happening under your own nose at work.

Hearing about the minor catfighting stuff between her and her friends can be the same. As an a adult you have a choice with who you mix with or not. If someone is causing you so much grief, why haven't you cut them off? 

As a bloke I'm programmed to try and make sense of problems and find a solution. Some 'conversations' women need to have are better to have with other women, who intrinsically know when to 'hmmm' and 'yeah' and say 'that's terrible'. As a bloke I'm not comfortable with painting myself into victimhood. For those of us with no silver spoon - it's a tough world out there, the quicker we learn and accept that truth the better in my opinion.

lol

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Guest Jacfsing2
On 11/25/2016 at 1:47 PM, singhbj singh said:

Many times, a woman wants to simply feel heard. She doesn’t always need you to solve her problems for her. So when she starts complaining about a bad boss or an annoying co-worker, just let her vent. Psychologist Manjit Kaur Khalsa said when women talk, it is not just to relay information. Women also use dialogue as a way to deepen intimacy. “A woman feels emotionally supported when you listen. It has been shown that men speak 2000 words a day, women, 7000. While men principally talk to relay facts, make a point, or achieve a goal, women speak for all of these reasons as well as for many other reasons such as to relieve stress, create intimacy, and form a bond,” said Khalsa.

People should just be straight-forward and avoid the negatives. If this was happening to men they would just let the issue either go, or either leave the situation until things get better, (though if your like Daas you'll make it a bigger issue just for the interest of arguments, Vaheguru help me), 90% of men are just direct and go on with the situation instead of complaining about it!

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5 hours ago, Jacfsing2 said:

People should just be straight-forward and avoid the negatives. If this was happening to men they would just let the issue either go, or either leave the situation until things get better, (though if your like Daas you'll make it a bigger issue just for the interest of arguments, Vaheguru help me), 90% of men are just direct and go on with the situation instead of complaining about it!

the truth is guys also talk with their mates at work/ home , often the women are isolated by the dual jobs and demands of being the primary caregiver , is it really so unreasonable to talk and share with their life partner , sometimes we have to smooth our husbands ruffled feathers or brows ...can you not do the same ? I do not see a reason to be so wound up by this. Most of the singhnian I know are not prone to moaning on every little thing , who has the luxury of time/energy for that

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3 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

the truth is guys also talk with their mates at work/ home , often the women are isolated by the dual jobs and demands of being the primary caregiver , is it really so unreasonable to talk and share with their life partner , sometimes we have to smooth our husbands ruffled feathers or brows ...can you not do the same ? I do not see a reason to be so wound up by this. Most of the singhnian I know are not prone to moaning on every little thing , who has the luxury of time/energy for that

Were not supposed to complain. 

 

It's good to talk things out sometimes, but complaining, ranting,emitting negativity isn't the way forward in bhgati, it holds you back.

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Guest Jacfsing2
6 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

the truth is guys also talk with their mates at work/ home , often the women are isolated by the dual jobs and demands of being the primary caregiver , is it really so unreasonable to talk and share with their life partner , sometimes we have to smooth our husbands ruffled feathers or brows ...can you not do the same ? I do not see a reason to be so wound up by this. Most of the singhnian I know are not prone to moaning on every little thing , who has the luxury of time/energy for that

The problem isn't that women complain, it's that they complain but don't want a solution. When men complain they do something about it.

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