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Sat Sri Akal ji

I am 32 years old, well qualified and with a good professional future.My parents had been searching for quite a while for a suitable match groom for me, but due to some reason or the other I couldn't see any of those prospective grooms as my future husband. I prayed to waheguru every day to find the perfect match for me. I did Sehaj Path, woke up at Amrit vela, did mool mantra jaap, went to gurudwara sahib every day. In the meantime this whole finding a groom thing was turning into utter torture for me. Then finally about two years ago It seemed Akal Purkh had answered my prayers. Our parents exchanged our numbers and we started talking. This person was the ideal I had been searching for. He had firm belief in Sikhism, did simran, woke up at Amrit vela, had never been into a relationship with anyone, was doing great in his profession, was very understanding and a thorough gentleman. I absolutely worshipped him. I thanked God everyday for sending this man in my life. We talked about our future together, discussed spiritualism etc. All this while his mother kept putting of fixing a wedding date on some pretext or the other. Then finally she told my mother that she doesn't want us to be together. The reason she gave was a very frivolous one regarding my height. But what hurt me the most was that this man whom I respected and loved with all my heart and soul, whom I looked up to as my husband without there being any formal ceremony, he seemed to remain utterly indifferent to all this. He even refused to take my calls.finally he messaged saying he can't go against his parents. How can people who believe in waheguru act like this? I put all my faith in waheguru then why did God do this to me. I am utterly shattered and depressed. I am unable to concentrate on paath or simran. It's like I've lost everything. The future seems so dark. I keep on thinking about this guy and crying all the time. I feel so tired of life. I have resigned from my job, my health has suffered and I am afraid of what the future holds for me. I have never felt so helpless. I feel even waheguru is not on my side and is punishing me. Please help me.

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  • Australia PR Sikh Suri 5'-11", 23.06.1980, Electronics Telecom Engineering, 3 years Bachelor in Computer Science, decent package. Looking qualified, slim, beautiful girl willing to settle Australia. Whatsapp: +91-98157-59751, Email: gurumehar80@yahoo.com  C6-62922

 

Source - http://www.tribuneindia.com/news/classified-advts/brides-wanted/classified-advts/brides-wanted/313272.html

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Why blame Guru ji when things go against you:  once you praised Him for giving you what YOU wanted , did you never think maybe He saved from a household that may have made His daughter unhappy ultimately . Is not better you found out before marriage and not after ? Be thankful that you have been shown these people's true nature before they could harm your name and status as a woman . Don't be udaas there are worse things in life than a broken rishta , please go back to the paat that saved you and do ardaas that you have sabaar and santokh to learn the truth of the world . Stay in Chardikala Bhainji , naam is the daru for this dukh

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Going off what info you have providied.  Guru Sahib maybe showing you the relationships of worldly affairs have no value.  Give then take away.  Did you pay attention to the paath and take on the knowledge Guru Sahib provided?  Since you did a Sehaj Paath, did you find the answer?  Gurbani says to meditate on Akal Purakh and follow his path.  It seems you were truly meditating on the idea of finding a husband and going through the actions of doing paath.  Right after Sohila Sahib, Guru Sahib goes into what is false and what is the true treasure we need to focus our attention on.  Guru Sahib gives very explicit examples of what is false.  One of them being worldly relations.  Today Sikhs are more focused on worldly relationships.  Bhagat Dhanna Jatt ji asked for worldly affairs to be arranged for him after he met Vaheguru.  Bhagat Dhanna Jatt ji main focus was simran (remembrance of Vaheguru) and worldly affairs came second.  You have it the other way around; only meditate on Vaheguru for a husband.  You say it yourself, I can't focus on Gurbani anymore.  You were using Gurbani as a tool to achieve worldly goals.  When you were given a person to speak to as your potential spouse.  How much did you remember Akal Purakh?  How much dedication did you have toward reading and understanding Gurbani?  Anand Sahib tells us the family is over joyed when a new born comes into their lives and they forget the one who gave them the bundle of joy.  Maya runs it's course.  Don't use Guru Sahib as a tool for worldly affairs.  There is nothing in this world of value.  Close your eyes and look deep within yourself with the Guru as your guide. Guru Sahib gives examples of how soul brides are lost in worldly affairs and those soul brides who are joined to him.  Forget why the guy stopped speaking to you.  Focus on why you left Guru Sahib.  Face up to your mistakes and go forward by making Guru Sahib your main focus.  Those who do make Guru Sahib their main focus are the happiest and are given what they ask for to live a simple life. 

One reason why the smarter elder generation did not let their daughters speak to the guy before the marriage was because of the chance the marriage does not go through.  Their daughter would have developed an emotional connection and once broken, she would be hurt.  But those families with izzat would not say no to a rishta after the guy and girl started speaking to each other as the family set it up.  Both sides can figure out the family history by talking to people who know the family.  So if anything comes up which the other side does not like, they can cut it off.  It seems in this case the guy's family found something out about your family which they didn't like and they broke it off.  Your height was just an excuse.  Don't waste energy thinking about it.  

Those Sikhs who meditate and do seva by focusing on Guru Sahib and strengthening their love for Guru Sahib are given what they ask for in life.      

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Guest Jacfsing2
5 hours ago, Guest SVK said:

Sat Sri Akal ji

I am 32 years old, well qualified and with a good professional future.My parents had been searching for quite a while for a suitable match groom for me, but due to some reason or the other I couldn't see any of those prospective grooms as my future husband. I prayed to waheguru every day to find the perfect match for me. I did Sehaj Path, woke up at Amrit vela, did mool mantra jaap, went to gurudwara sahib every day. In the meantime this whole finding a groom thing was turning into utter torture for me. Then finally about two years ago It seemed Akal Purkh had answered my prayers. Our parents exchanged our numbers and we started talking. This person was the ideal I had been searching for. He had firm belief in Sikhism, did simran, woke up at Amrit vela, had never been into a relationship with anyone, was doing great in his profession, was very understanding and a thorough gentleman. I absolutely worshipped him. I thanked God everyday for sending this man in my life. We talked about our future together, discussed spiritualism etc. All this while his mother kept putting of fixing a wedding date on some pretext or the other. Then finally she told my mother that she doesn't want us to be together. The reason she gave was a very frivolous one regarding my height. But what hurt me the most was that this man whom I respected and loved with all my heart and soul, whom I looked up to as my husband without there being any formal ceremony, he seemed to remain utterly indifferent to all this. He even refused to take my calls.finally he messaged saying he can't go against his parents. How can people who believe in waheguru act like this? I put all my faith in waheguru then why did God do this to me. I am utterly shattered and depressed. I am unable to concentrate on paath or simran. It's like I've lost everything. The future seems so dark. I keep on thinking about this guy and crying all the time. I feel so tired of life. I have resigned from my job, my health has suffered and I am afraid of what the future holds for me. I have never felt so helpless. I feel even waheguru is not on my side and is punishing me. Please help me.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Daas would say to not think about it too much; however, since it's a big deal for you, if height was the only problem, then your so-called rishta wouldn't end quickly, maybe they don't like your caste and used the height excuse, it is probably for the best you didn't marry him, a future husband has to support their future wife as they would consider a part of them, (basically if parents were important that's not the husband you would want anyway.)

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Guest guest2011

I am sorry for your loss. I can understand that it can be very painful when your trust is broken. It seemed like you had already committed to this relationship but  he was on a different platform. But I agree with other replies that you found about his committment level before getting married and saved yourself from even bigger heartache. Please continue to have faith in Guru Sahib. Hope you find someone  much better! Like they say, in order to appreciate the good ones, sometimes we have to encounter the bad experiences. Do not focus on 'why it happened', because we can not really figure out why things happen the way they do. It may help to talk to a professional such as counselor if you are going through drpressive symptoms. take care.

 

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On 23/10/2016 at 4:33 PM, Guest SVK said:

He even refused to take my calls.finally he messaged saying he can't go against his parents. How can people who believe in waheguru act like this?

God has saved you from a lot of hassle by taking you away from this person. A person who listens to his parents only without using his common sense cannot make a good life partner for you.

On 23/10/2016 at 4:33 PM, Guest SVK said:

The future seems so dark. I keep on thinking about this guy and crying all the time. I feel so tired of life.

You have not even started your life. Waheguru teaches us to trust in his hukam. If you are doing his path then you should be strong enough to follow his hukam. 

 

 

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Guest Jacfsing2
5 minutes ago, sikhni777 said:

You have to help yourself by getting your self esteem back. Imagine if you met this person for such a short while and this happened, then what would happen if you were actually married to him and his mum kept saying things about you to him.

Height is a simple issue which should not make a major difference to a man's mum in my opinion. Why are you loosing everything of yours to such people who are obsessed with such low thoughts. Imagine how lowly stupid thoughts you would be stuck with the rest of your life if you actually married him. 

God has a plan for everyone. You have just lost your way putting your hopes on marriage instead of trusting the Almighty. We are his children and he has more chinta about our well being than we ourselves do. 

Forget the experience, if you can and nurse yourself back to health. Get your job and learn to live your life once more. Marriage is not the sole purpose we have been sent here on earth for. Remember we have had many other lives when we have married and raised thousands of children as animals and as humans as well. 

Please don't give away your life for someone who does not have even an iota of feeling to you to the extent that they would not even return your phone call. You deserve a better family.  

Why'd you mis-quote me?

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