I Married a saint or what?

[jkvlondon]

Truth is , we are not married to the person per se but partnered up to become a team for the life mission we have been given . Like most things we experienced they are a result of our poorbale karam , karmic lehn-dehn , so sometimes we get stunned at the type of partner we get how good or how bad but ultimately we are married to Paramatma and we have to help that person to get shaped up or shape up ourselves to become pleasing to Akal Purakh.  

[simran345]

2 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

which is ulat of gurmat soch , because without Waheguru ji's hukham nothing can happen , sanjog comes from above not by chance

Hanji I know, but I bet nobody would say that if the situation was different. E.g.: the guy making the women's life hell or a drunk or other way round, if the woman was not a good wife. Then there would be plenty saying, oh leave him/her and how those actions of are not within Gurmat either, then nobody mentions Hukam. 

It's only because this guy is a good guy from the description given by OP, that's why people are saying it's within Gurmat. 

If a woman was abused and treated like dirt and beat up, then I'm sure there would be plenty advising her to go and get help. And would not be told to stick with it and accept your sanjog. 

There can't be different rules for different scenarios when it come to marriage and associating it with Gurmat. 

Waheguru also does not say to force somebody in something they are not happy with, after every solution has been tried penji. 

 

 

 

[simran345]

5 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

Truth is , we are not married to the person per se but partnered up to become a team for the life mission we have been given . Like most things we experienced they are a result of our poorbale karam , karmic lehn-dehn , so sometimes we get stunned at the type of partner we get how good or how bad but ultimately we are married to Paramatma and we have to help that person to get shaped up or shape up ourselves to become pleasing to Akal Purakh.  

Penji this only works when both compromise or if there is some understanding on either side. Easy said than done for some. But not everybody is able to do that. It takes two to make a marriage work, not just one. 

[jkvlondon]

Just now, simran345 said:

Hanji I know, but I bet nobody would say that if the situation was different. E.g.: the guy making the women's life hell or a drunk or other way round, if the woman was not a good wife. Then there would be plenty saying, oh leave him/her and how those actions of are within Gurmat either, then nobody mentions Hukam. 

It's only because this guy is a good guy from the description given by OP, that's why people are saying it's within Gurmat. 

If a woman was abused and treated like dirt and beat up, then I'm sure there would be plenty advising her to go and get help. And would not be told to stick with it and accept your sanjog. 

There can't be different rules for different scenarios when it come to marriage and associating it with Gurmat. 

Waheguru also does not say to force somebody in something they are not happy with, after every solution has been tried penji. 

 

 

 

using your God given akkal is a given , sardarnis are supposed to be daler and take no excuses e.g. Mata Bhag Kaur ji turning around and saying to her Singh ghar ba ke chudia pa , main Guru ji vaste laddoungi ... to show the better path in a crunch moment. First if the parents actually did find the appropriate match gurmat anusar  then you will not have a sharabi kebabi hubby ...but it is lekha that they will have to pay for in the future. The singhni has a choice, fold and crumple alone , or step up with Guru ji's protection, the bibian which I know in such circumstances who chose to not pray and keep the faith in Guru ji suffered so much, but those who kept faith in Guru ji and prayed were kept from harm , either by amazing change of heart of the guy or circumstances moving in a positive protective way to move the bibi out of that situation and in her own space . Guru ji doesn't abandon his faithful ...ever.

[simran345]

18 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

using your God given akkal is a given , sardarnis are supposed to be daler and take no excuses e.g. Mata Bhag Kaur ji turning around and saying to her Singh ghar ba ke chudia pa , main Guru ji vaste laddoungi ... to show the better path in a crunch moment. First if the parents actually did find the appropriate match gurmat anusar  then you will not have a sharabi kebabi hubby ...but it is lekha that they will have to pay for in the future. The singhni has a choice, fold and crumple alone , or step up with Guru ji's protection, the bibian which I know in such circumstances who chose to not pray and keep the faith in Guru ji suffered so much, but those who kept faith in Guru ji and prayed were kept from harm , either by amazing change of heart of the guy or circumstances moving in a positive protective way to move the bibi out of that situation and in her own space . Guru ji doesn't abandon his faithful ...ever.

I agree with what you say should be more Daler, but I have also seen Amritdhari women be abused and hurt that even after they have defended themselves, they had no choice but to end in divorce, when the man wouldn't change from being nasty to them. 

I have also seen Amritdhari man with children, whose wives have left them and gone off with somebody else, after doing everything they could to stop her. Not only that but the brothers wife also left, who got married again to an Amritdhari woman who also left him, even with children.  

No man or woman wishes divorce, but as you said Waheguru's hukam creates and changes everything, so is divorce part of that, whether we don't like to hear it. It's easy for us to sit here and judge people on what and what not they are not suppose to do, because we may be able to manage or cope with it, but only the one's in their situations will ever understand or know what they are going through.  

Then there are those that divorce for something that is trivial or may involve money, materialistic or not being able to have kids.  They are the ones that need to be told all this. Or the ones that are already married and married somebody for a visa and then leave them. 

(PS: where did all my likes come from, I've only just put this on). 

[jkvlondon]

1 minute ago, simran345 said:

I have also seen Amritdhari women be abused and hurt that even after they have defended themselves, they had no choice but to end in divorce, when the man wouldn't change from being nasty to them. 

I have also seen Amritdhari man with children, whose wives have left them and gone off with somebody else, after doing everything they could to stop her. Not only that but the brothers wife also left, who got married again to an Amritdhari woman who also left him, even with children.  

No man or woman wishes divorce, but as you said Waheguru's hukam creates and changes everything, so is divorce part of that, whether we don't like to hear it. It's easy for us to sit here and judge people on what and what not they are not suppose to do, because we may be able to manage or cope with it, but only the one's in their situations will ever understand or know what they are going through.  

Then there are those that divorce for something that is trivial or may involve money, materialistic or not being able to have kids.  They are the ones that need to be told all this. Or the ones that`e already married and married somebody for a visa and then leave them. 

 

I will agree that often these situations happen because the parents insist on following their own ideas e.g. jaat paat, just trusting the other parties without checking, even dowries through the back door.  Divorce is not an idea in SIkhi  but imported from English culture , the origin being in King Henry the 8th's lust and desire for an male heir. If you think about what lavaan is in essence we are married to Waheguru ji via Guru ji not to the other person . In Christianity , they originally had the similar idea behind marriage as sikhi  and they were allowed to seperate if the person failed to stay dharmic in outlook,or  if they had relations outside the marriage. 
If your partner fails you , you can act how you feel is appropriate having taken Guru ji's advice ...that's all I can say , the divorce sikhs go through is purely legal  nothing more 

[jkvlondon]

14 minutes ago, simran345 said:

 

(PS: where did all my likes come from, I've only just put this on). 

maybe you have your own stalker fan club hehehe

[simran345]

2 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

maybe you have your own stalker fan club hehehe

Lol, Na, far from it, something weird going on lately on the forum. 

Daal ch kuch kala lagda a ?

Mistake nal koi like kari jande ?

[Guest Jacfsing2]

3 hours ago, simran345 said:

Lol, Na, far from it, something weird going on lately on the forum. 

Daal ch kuch kala lagda a ?

Mistake nal koi like kari jande ?

One of the actual people who liked it; to be honest you first seemed like the other "Simran345", (Guest wale) when you had your likes so quickly, maybe she created 4 other accounts and is just liking everything you say to build other "Simran345"'s, (your), reputation, if only the other "Jacfsing2", (Guest wale), would do the same.

[simran345]

1 hour ago, Jacfsing2 said:

One of the actual people who liked it; to be honest you first seemed like the other "Simran345", (Guest wale) when you had your likes so quickly, maybe she created 4 other accounts and is just liking everything you say to build other "Simran345"'s, (your), reputation, if only the other "Jacfsing2", (Guest wale), would do the same.

What do you mean I first seemed like the other guest wale Simran. 

Before I get accused of making ids and liking my posts, I want to make one thing clear that it's not me liking them. 

I have no idea what's going on, none of my family members or relatives know I post on here and to further clarify I'm not that immature to do such lowly things. 

So to whoever is liking my posts, Anonymous user, I don't need fake likes for the sake of it, Jacfsing2 paji de like karo, manu lohr nai. Or the other reason could be somebody's trying to show me up by making out I'm liking my own posts. 

Admin is welcome to check whose doing the multiple likes.