Jump to content
singhbj singh

How many parents ask their daughters who earn money to contribute to house expenses ?

Recommended Posts

In sikhi we are not meant to live off the earnings of our mothers, sisters, daughters ...this is an article written by a hindu lady with ulterior motive . Sure girls shouldn't be emptyheaded loafers but on the whole sikh women are not taught to behave in that way , they are expected to work hard at school, home and work if they go .The whole sikh philosophy is to do one's best effort and leave the rest to Waheguru ji. No , a sikh should think of developing sikh character first and foremost the rest will come with education and effort .

In my own life  I would earn and then buy things that would help in the household like new appliances because my Parents would get angry if I offered them money (now I understand but then I found it strange). Mostly I would be told to save it for myself ... after I was going to get married both my fiance and I paid for the whole thing and costs ourselves I did not want to burden my folks at all. When they looked after my eldest when I was working I would provide everything and also pay my Mother the going rate.

Edited by jkvlondon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bhein ji whether she's Hindu, Muslim, Christian it shouldn't matter !

Thing is, she makes a valid point regarding career & contributing to house expenses.

Either girl's should opt for a home maker lifestyle and forget about this article or 

look into the above advice.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, singhbj singh said:

Bhein ji whether she's Hindu, Muslim, Christian it shouldn't matter !

Thing is, she makes a valid point regarding career & contributing to house expenses.

Either girl's should opt for a home maker lifestyle and forget about this article or 

look into the above advice.

To be  a Kaur in the modern world means you should have the backup skills and wherewithal to look after yourself whether or not you make a career , this will ensure that she will remain achint in the face of macho posturing of the husband or in-law pressure/bullying. It is our girls who are not educated enough who feel trapped and put up with spousal abuse because they are scared of facing the unknown.

 

These days I have noticed a trend of golden goose syndrome the guy might be a hardly 10th pass but he wants a wife with a profession why ? so she becomes a work slave  providing an income stream for him. This is on top of daaj demands. So again the Punjabi learns from the bad of others - well done, try learning something from sikhi instead. 

Your thinking also displays an element of backwards attitude to Kaurs ...there are so many who are positive contributors without paying ...maybe they take on ALL the families caretaking duties so their parents are free to work ...but of course in your eyes that wouldn't be worth anything ...

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bhein ji life is all about choices !

Bibi can either be homely or career oriented.

Problem starts when you mix both lifestyles.

Alpha females usually end up with sissy husbands or toy boys.

They are also called home breakers by in-law's coz they are not wired to live in joint families.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, singhbj singh said:

Bhein ji life is all about choices !

Bibi can either be homely or career oriented.

Problem starts when you mix both lifestyles.

Alpha females usually end up with sissy husbands or toy boys.

They are also called home breakers by in-law's coz they are not wired to live in joint families.

In the west you may not have the choice because of cost of living so do not jump to false conclusions my mother worked and looked after her duties too as do millions across the world , the only things that changed is location of workplace compared to previous generations . An alpha female is not a home breaker she is a home maker because she has strong self-confidence and ability can bring that to her family life , some in-laws live to blame the daughter in law when the fault lies in their sons . My brothers don't live with my widowed Mother , they don't look after her why? because my mother was wise enough to recognise that they didn't want that responsibility, so she let it go. Her daughters and their husbands are the ones who ask after her and help her out in a practical way although they live elsewhere. The Punjabi model makes selfish men and the Western Model selfish women , the sikh model makes Selfless people . I have a Sikh Mother ...that is better than anything this Hindu commentator knows

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bhein ji whether East or West everyone gets to choose.

Guru Sahibaan's vigorously promoted "Santokhi" ie contented lifestyle.

Can working women instill that virtue in children, guess Not !

Edited by singhbj singh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, singhbj singh said:

Bhein ji whether East or West everyone gets to choose.

Guru Sahibaan's vigorously promoted "Santokhi" ie contented lifestyle.

Can working women instill that virtue in children, guess Not !

hahaha keep trying ... yes santokh can be instilled and sikh core values ... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 18/09/2016 at 8:33 PM, jkvlondon said:

 

In my own life  I would earn and then buy things that would help in the household like new appliances because my Parents would get angry if I offered them money (now I understand but then I found it strange). Mostly I would be told to save it for myself ... after I was going to get married both my fiance and I paid for the whole thing and costs ourselves I did not want to burden my folks at all. When they looked after my eldest when I was working I would provide everything and also pay my Mother the going rate.

 

If you don't mind me asking Sis why did your parents object to this? offering the money I mean?

Edited by Thanatos

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Thanatos said:

 

If you don't mind me asking Sis why did your parents object to this? 

Guru ji hukam that a Singh should never eat from the earnings of his sister or daughter

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, jkvlondon said:

Guru ji hukam that a Singh should never eat from the earnings of his sister or daughter

Oh right. I either wasn't aware of that or it slipped my mind, apologises. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, HarkiranKaur said:

This is from Guru Gobind Singh Jis 52 hukams and the wording was consider the income (property) of a daughter as poison. The underlying meaning was to prevent exploitation of women, slave labour of ones own family etc. 

Growing up when I had a job I paid my parents for room and board. I didn't see it as them exploiting me rather I saw it as me helping pay my own way. It helped me learn to manage money and when I joined the military and got my own apartment it had helped me to manage my own place by myself. Life skills you know... 

i think the idea of this hukam was that things should not be taken from a daughter to better the life of a son... one should not have better life than the other.... you know take from a dowry from a daughter (Hindu) to make the sons marriage that much better etc. At least that's how someone explained it to me or sometimes daughters would be sold out for services rendered (prostitution) and the parents would benefit. 

the difference is YOU decided to help out not you earned and they took . It is quite right that one shoud not take advantage of a single girl of any family, one they may be saving for their own studies or life  and two we have a duty of care on our younger siblings

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jacfsing2

I've never met a perfect Sikh before, I've just them on a totally scale based system. Working or non-working means less especially in the diaspora, (most diaspora women work which is something almost no body will deny).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are some dodgy families which delay finding partners for marriage for their daughters so that they can live off their daughters' earning. Some of these families are horrible and don't really seem to care who their daughters marry. Dreadful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • When God created the sirgun form as written in Japji Sahib then humans were born and lost in maya they keep reincarnation 
    •   A TRIBUTE TO DAUGHTERS   Daughter is not equal to tension
      But
      In today's world
      Daughter is equal to
      Ten son' s
      🙍👭🙍👭 A FATHER Asked His DAUGHTER:
      Who Would U Love More, Me Or Ur Husband..??
      👭👭🙍🙍👭👭🙍🙍 The BEST Reply Given By the DAUGHTER:
      I Don't Know Really,
      But When I See U,
      I Forget Him,
      But When I See Him,
      I Remember U..
      🙍🙍🙍👭👭👭👭🙍🙍🙍 U Can Always Call Ur DAUGHTER As Beta,
      But U Can Never Call Ur Son As Beti.. That's Why DAUGHTERS are SPECIAL
      👭🙍👭🙍👭👍👭👍👭🙍
      If you have a daughter who makes your life worth living by just being around and you love her as much as your own Breath..;
      🙍👭🙍👭🙍👭 If you are proud of your Daughter, send this to people who have daughters..!! Daughters are happiness.
      Daughters are angels.!👼👼 🙍👭👭👭👭👭👭🙍
          

      Congrats  to who all have daughters
      Daughters are like Parrots in the house.. When she speaks,
      Speaks without a break..
      & everyone says,
      "Will you please keep quite for sometime" When she is silent,
      mother says,
      Are you fine my child " Father says,
      "Why there is so much of silence " Brother says,
      "Are you angry with me ?" and when she is married, all says,
      "Its like all the happiness has gone from the house " She is the real non stop music.. Dedicated to emotional, cute, pretty, sweet & sincere girls😊
      That's You..
      That's a Girl..😊
      👌🍃Woman has the most unique character like salt
      Her presence is never remembered...but
      Her absence makes all the things tasteless !!🐾👍
      👌👍👯💃👯👭
      pass it to your lovely sisters, daughters and friends😊.                       To all the females in this world.
    •   NEVER CRY FOR THE PERSON WHO HURTS YOU JUST SMILE AND SAY THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE TO FIND SOMEONE BETTER THAN YOU   NEVER HATE JEALOUS PEOPLE THEY ARE JEALOUS, FOR THEY THINK  YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM   DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME ON REVENGE THOSE WHO HURT YOU WILL EVENTUALLY  FACE THEIR OWN KARMA   NEVER TELL ANYONE YOUR PLANS SHOW THEM YOUR RESULTS   ONE GREAT LESSON I LEARNED FROM MY LIFE THERE IS NO MARKET FOR YOUR EMOTIONS SO NEVER ADVERTISE YOUR FEELINGS JUST SHOW YOUR ATTITUDE   DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR DAY WILL COME IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME   IF YOU ARE HELPING SOMEONE AND EXPECT SOMETHING IN RETURN YOU ARE DOING BUSINESS NOT KINDNESS   TRUST MEANS EVERYTHING ONCE IT IS  BROKEN SORRY MEANS NOTHING   ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR PRESENT SITUATION IS NOT YOUR FINAL DESTINATION THE BEST IS YET TO COME   NEVER LEAVE A TRUE RELATION FOR A FEW FAULTS NOBODY IS CORRECT AT THE END AFFECTION IS ALWAYS GREATER THAN PERFECTION   DO NOT COME TO MY FUNERAL TO SHOW HOW MUCH YOU CARED ABOUT ME SHOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT ME NOW WHILE I AM ALIVE   NEVER REPLAY WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY NEVER MAKE A PROMISE WHEN YOU ARE HAPPY NEVER MAKE A DECISION WHEN YOU ARE SAD   STOP EXPECTING LOYALTY FROM PEOPLE WHO CAN NOT EVEN GIVE YOU HONESTY   LIFE IS SHORT, TIME IS FAST NO REPLAY,  NO REWIND SO ENJOY EVERY MOMENT AS IT COMES   DO NOT GIVE UP THE BEGINNING IS  ALWAYS THE HARDEST   WHEN YOU WISH GOOD FOR OTHERS GOOD THINGS COME BACK TO YOU THIS IS THE LAW OF NATURE   DIFFICULTIES IN YOUR LIFE DO NOT COME TO DESTROY YOU BUT TO HELP YOU TO REALIZE YOUR HIDDEN POTENTIAL AND POWER   TURN YOUR ANGER INTO MOTIVATION AND YOUR MOTIVATION INTO SUCCESS.  
    • Ok lets reverse the relation , Daughter of some singh married into a Family of Hindu pandits ,but husband died , went to Pakistan and converted to islam.In that case would you have accepted her as Sikh?   The fact is she is daughter in law of Granthi so most probably she converted to Sikhism at the time of marriage.Now when she got widowed with three kids she had hardly any personal life left.Moreover I don't think his father  or Father in law thought of her re marriage.TBH there are hardly any sikh or Hindu men that marry a widow who is mother of three.So she may had found a Pakistani who was willing to accept her.Moreover she may had thought that she changed her religion for first marriage what's wrong if she did it for second time
    • Not sure on that, it's most likely out of our knowing until we merge with Waheguru.
×