Fallen in love with a singhni

[MisterrSingh]

23 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Ok,(didn't real seem like you were messing around from Daas reading it), your question could be answered by, Pre-Amritdhari days. (though O.P. claims to have already been blessed with Amrit)

None of us are perfect by any means, and anyone who says otherwise is either an incarnation of God or a liar. I'm just making light of a situation. Yes, it may seem like life or death for some people, but it's just hormones playing havoc. It doesn't warrant that kind of deep thought. 

What should be clear to anyone from reading this thread, and the hundreds of others like it, is that there's a huge problem with youngsters taking Amrit who simply aren't of the frame of mind that means they truly understand what they've taken on. A fully-grown adult still makes mistakes during their day-to-day life. What hope a child who isn't sure of his or her own mind, because they're still developing into the person they're becoming?

I'm not here to pass judgement. I was joking around with my comments. But the underlying stuff is valid. 

[Berserk]

23 minutes ago, sikhni777 said:

At 15 I admit fantasizing about many a person....... however never meant I married any of them. 

At 15 you are only just maturing and learning to deal with feelings which are not under your own control. These feelings will later mature and enable you to choose a life partner. 

At 15 every one dreams or fantasizes and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. 

At 15 you are not serious about getting married and not ready yet. The people you fantasize about will not be around you by the time you are ready to get married.

If you are 15 you should seriously not seek any advice online  - if you find yourself fantasizing about someone, especially on a Sikh religious website. 

Some people have forgotten what it is to be 15 and are stuck in adult hood thoughts. Just because you fantasized about someone does not mean you have now lost your Sikhi certificate. 

Your fantasies at 15 mean nothing but should be just pushed at the back of your mind because they will keep coming and you need to get on with your life as normal.

Very true.

To OP, you are still very young and should put your focus on Sikhi. What you are experiencing is most likely a phase. And you cannot be sure that after 10 years you'll be marrying her. So to even hold that thought for all that time will end up hurting you if you find that she will marry someone else. Sikhni is right, I no longer know any of the people I knew at your age. Plus, things always turn out differently than you'd expect it. Just focus on your Sikhi and education. Vaheguru takes care of everything for us, don't worry. 

[Guest pain]

Its not wrong to love her. I went through the same thing. Loved someone both us are gursikh. Loved each other since I  was a kid. Then it didn't end well ten years later and up until today im in a bad place. Nothing wrog with loving her but life's so much easier without love altogether. Trust me.

[Guest Femaleboss]

Everyones talking to eachother about instead of the OP.

op- at 15 you have so many hormones, chances are if you marry eg 25 you will have completely changed as a person by then and so will she have, you probably will have moved on through education and work and will meet someone else. So i wouldnt take this too seriously and just try to tell your own mind yeh shes a nice girl but i'm not going to be stupid. Realistically at 15 what are you even going to do? Go cinema? Not exactly at the age to do sexual stuff and she certainly shouldnt be. So is it worth going against your beliefs for some walking around town and sitting on the phone until 6am? Probably not.

We've all been there, believe me but when you're older you look back and think well that was a waste of time, i don't know if you are amritdhari? If you are then deffo a no go for you. If you havent taken amrit then the choice is ultimately yours but i don't like boys scouting girls at the gurdwara!! Hate it when boys scout girls at sikh camps too!

 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

On 9/24/2016 at 6:22 AM, Guest Femaleboss said:

but i don't like boys scouting girls at the gurdwara!! Hate it when boys scout girls at sikh camps too!

Do people actually do this or is it something a bit different? Daas has only been to a Sikhi camp once, but never remembered anything like that, (though it was a while back).

[Guest Femaleboss]

1 hour ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Do people actually do this or is it something a bit different? Daas has only been to a Sikhi camp once, but never remembered anything like that, (though it was a while back).

I went to khalsa camp and after this singh kept in touch who use to give me what seemed like good advice (I was 17, he was like 22/23? I didn't have much sangat so I liked the new company to discuss sikhi.... But then he fully tried it on physically when I went to his uni open day.

Same thing with another one who was my age, decided to tell me he likes me.

 

 

[Not2Cool2Argue]

B

9 hours ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Do people actually do this or is it something a bit different? Daas has only been to a Sikhi camp once, but never remembered anything like that, (though it was a while back).

Yes happens alot. Thats why Misterrsingh was being so harsh on OP. Ppl take amrit but continue doing anti-sikh behavior even at holy places and events! This hurts sikhi image and ive heard lots of ppl say why should i take amrit when amritdharis r so bad, they go after girls, they lie a lot, and cheat in business. In fact theres a saying that goes amridharis have more wals (twists, crooked) in their heart than they have wals in their kashere..thats why we need to be harsh on sikh ppl who do these things whether it be out of ignorance or on purpose. 

So Jacfsing2, next time someone says something harsh or "judgemental", let it be. (as long as its not unkind or personal attack) everyone has different experiences in life and so different advice and opinions. Dont go around saying thats too harsh or judgemental. If u think its too harsh then address the OP in a kind way and give them nonjudgemental advice. Dont start arguing with other ppl about how.wat they said was judgemental. Like how sikhni did. In her post, she says some ppl have forgotton how to be 15 and r stick in adulthood. That is a better way to tell someone they r being judgemental.

However,  Misterrsingh's post about chick and fat sighnis was inappropriate and harsh and judgemental and personally attacked the OP. And so berserk was.right in calling him out on it. And saying it was a joke, seems like Misterrsingh's way of an apology (though a bit of a cop out as well

Sorry for the personal examples. Plz dont take them as.personal attacks.ll Just didnt like how posters were arguing with each other. That seems to diminish the credibility of our advice

So i thought to make an example.of u all. 8-) 

 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

13 hours ago, Guest Femaleboss said:

I went to khalsa camp and after this singh kept in touch who use to give me what seemed like good advice (I was 17, he was like 22/23? I didn't have much sangat so I liked the new company to discuss sikhi.... But then he fully tried it on physically when I went to his uni open day.

Same thing with another one who was my age, decided to tell me he likes me.

Were there no elder Sikhs who were watching all of this?

5 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

B

Yes happens alot. Thats why Misterrsingh was being so harsh on OP. Ppl take amrit but continue doing anti-sikh behavior even at holy places and events! This hurts sikhi image and ive heard lots of ppl say why should i take amrit when amritdharis r so bad, they go after girls, they lie a lot, and cheat in business. In fact theres a saying that goes amridharis have more wals (twists, crooked) in their heart than they have wals in their kashere..thats why we need to be harsh on sikh ppl who do these things whether it be out of ignorance or on purpose. 

So Jacfsing2, next time someone says something harsh or "judgemental", let it be. (as long as its not unkind or personal attack) everyone has different experiences in life and so different advice and opinions. Dont go around saying thats too harsh or judgemental. If u think its too harsh then address the OP in a kind way and give them nonjudgemental advice. Dont start arguing with other ppl about how.wat they said was judgemental. Like how sikhni did. In her post, she says some ppl have forgotton how to be 15 and r stick in adulthood. That is a better way to tell someone they r being judgemental.

However,  Misterrsingh's post about chick and fat sighnis was inappropriate and harsh and judgemental and personally attacked the OP. And so berserk was.right in calling him out on it. And saying it was a joke, seems like Misterrsingh's way of an apology (though a bit of a cop out as well

Sorry for the personal examples. Plz dont take them as.personal attacks.ll Just didnt like how posters were arguing with each other. That seems to diminish the credibility of our advice

So i thought to make an example.of u all. 8-) 

Daas doesn't support O.P.'s pakhand whatsoever, but how would you recommend teaching him through this online forum, where we probably will never meet OP in real life? Daas personally thinks he should ask the people around him, (parents, Gursikhs, etc.,), to provide him with assistance.

[Guest Femaleboss]

Watching what? It was when the camp was over

Point is, dont take advantage of girls in places they thought people are genuine and trustworthy

OP is young, its understandable, im just saying to him- you don't want to be that guy.

[simran345]

40 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Were there no elder Sikhs who were watching all of this?

Daas doesn't support O.P.'s pakhand whatsoever, but how would you recommend teaching him through this online forum, where we probably will never meet OP in real life? Daas personally thinks he should ask the people around him, (parents, Gursikhs, etc.,), to provide him with assistance.

Sometimes it's too embarrassing for the person to ask people around them of how he will be judged, therefore it's easier for him to ask online anonymously. To the O.P., take on board what members are saying to you, as they are only saying it for your benefit.