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KiranK

I wanna tie dastaar

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Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh

Hello everyone :)

I am a Sikh girl living in Europe and i wanna tie Dastaar, but i don't know how to tell my parents about this, because nobody in my family is wearing turban and I don't know if they are cool with it.

Almost a year ago I started learning Gurmukhi and about Sikhi in generall and now I'm learning Path and Kirtan.

Now I'm not ready for taking Amrit, it's a big descision and responsibility. Sikhi is a way of life so I wanna go it step by step.

Edited by KiranK

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How well do you get on with your Mum ? if you are close share what you have learnt about sikhi with her , maybe show her sikh websites/channels you follow , tell how you feel about sikhi , I'm sure she'll understand you are not going through a phase and support you. It might not be her cup of tea but she should be able to empathise wanting to be a better sikh (most women are spiritually inspired  very few are not) . Get her on board first  , then tackle dad ...  Of course if you get on better with Dad go the other way around , most people want their kids to be good humans so I really cannot see them being so hard on you . Keep on touch ... stay in Chardi Kala

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On 16 September 2016 at 0:14 PM, KiranK said:

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh

Hello everyone :)

I am a Sikh girl living in Europe and i wanna tie Dastaar, but i don't know how to tell my parents about this, because nobody in my family is wearing turban and I don't know if they are cool with it.

Almost a year ago I started learning Gurmukhi and about Sikhi in generall and now I'm learning Path and Kirtan.

Now I'm not ready for taking Amrit, it's a big descision and responsibility. Sikhi is a way of life so I wanna go it step by step.

I didn't know you have to ask your parents to follow Sihki. Are they not Sihks?

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32 minutes ago, silverSingh said:

I didn't know you have to ask your parents to follow Sihki. Are they not Sihks?

Bro look at her age, she needs her folks behind her not kalesh ...so what is the harm in sharing what she has learnt what she feels now , maybe Guru ji will do kirpa on them too ...

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On 18 September 2016 at 0:17 PM, jkvlondon said:

Bro look at her age, she needs her folks behind her not kalesh ...so what is the harm in sharing what she has learnt what she feels now , maybe Guru ji will do kirpa on them too ...

Aigrid.

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21 hours ago, silverSingh said:

I didn't know you have to ask your parents to follow Sihki. Are they not Sihks?

I knw it might sound a bit weird for someone in whose family it is a normal thing to tie a turban.But for me it's a big issue and i'm happy tht u understand my problem

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On 16.9.2016 at 11:21 PM, jkvlondon said:

How well do you get on with your Mum ? if you are close share what you have learnt about sikhi with her , maybe show her sikh websites/channels you follow , tell how you feel about sikhi , I'm sure she'll understand you are not going through a phase and support you. It might not be her cup of tea but she should be able to empathise wanting to be a better sikh (most women are spiritually inspired  very few are not) . Get her on board first  , then tackle dad ...  Of course if you get on better with Dad go the other way around , most people want their kids to be good humans so I really cannot see them being so hard on you . Keep on touch ... stay in Chardi Kala

Yeah I already showed my mom some vids of BoS or some Sikh bloggers and I think it's a good methode to tell her about my interests.

Thx for ur advice

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8 hours ago, KiranK said:

I knw it might sound a bit weird for someone in whose family it is a normal thing to tie a turban.But for me it's a big issue and i'm happy tht u understand my problem

I understand now.  I wish you all the best and I support you fully. Post a pic when done.

Edited by silverSingh

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    • No for gods sake no. 
    • Guest Jagsaw_Singh
      Not so much 'advice' per se but things you might wanna consider: 1) nowadays, a lot of the girls in the pend are pretty lazy generally and not even very skilled in the kitchen with even basic foodstuffs like pakore and somoseh  readily available in stalls in the village. Bear in mind then that the girls that live with their families out on the Khoo (isolated farm house by the well) away from the village are usually a lot smarter and a lot fitter....being used to hard work and very quickly making things for visitors that arrive on the farm. 2) 3 words: background check...background check...background check. Get your 'driver' to chat with the 'drivers' in the girl's pend about the girl and her family's character. The pend's drivers know everything about everyone in their pends. 3) Way too many spouses are currently being refused entry into the UK for failing the compulsory English test. It never used to be like this so your parents are probably not going to factor that in when considering girls but you need to. 4) Once you find someone, absolutely insist that there is no big financial burden on the girl's family regarding the wedding. Even if they can afford it you must remain socially responsible and understand the immense social and economic harm it is causing in Punjab when people see what others (particularly those from 'foreign')spend and feel pressured to live up to those expectations and so take out massive loans for that purpose. Set the right example.  
    • Guest Guest
      Don't you only pesh when you actually have a sexual relationship with someone, you cant have sexual relationship with your self 😂😂
    • Guest Jagsaw_Singh
      If you 'worry' for someone for saying maryada for amritdharis should be followed by amritdharis you seriously have some 'worrying' problems.  If you 'worry' for someone putting into writing opinions on a discussion forum which is designed as a platform for opinions to be shared on a written basis your 'worrying' problem is even more problematic that I initially thought. 'Worrying' is something a parent should do when their child is ill in hospital. It is something a father should do when not able to pay the household bills on time. When a grown man or woman 'worries' at the sight of opinions and facts being expressed in writing that is a sign of deep need for some type of psychotherapy. I would suggest you seek out that help sooner rather than later as this type of mental tension can quickly manifest itself as physical tension. There is help available out there and you should not feel stigmatized and embarrassed about seeking it. In essence, what you have, my friend, is a particular and rather peculiar form of  Allodoxphobia. Within this context, the sight of other people expressing their own opinions frightens you. This fear of an 'opinion' being expressed provokes a reaction in you typical of all fears in that it makes you become defensive and when people become defensive they tend to lash out at the person expressing the opinion. It is fear that drives this psychological state and the key of course is to overcome it. It can work both ways of course as I'm probably a bit too much at the opposite end of it in the sense that I absolutely adore reading other people's opinions because I like the way it gets me thinking more deeply about a particular subject matter and also helps me to become more empathetic...or at least understand that there are opposing viewpoints on virtually every subject matter. I also particularly like those posters on this forum that deploy a Socratic approach to what they write, in that they pose hard-hitting questions and opinions with the objective of provoking the reader into some reflective analysis of the issues being discussed. Of course, I fully understand that those already overcome with a fear of opinions will not be positively embracing of the Socratic approach but as I said in the beginning I am understanding and supporting of everyone's emotional and mental needs and there is help available out there to overcome that fear. I truly wish you all the best in that but most importantly please remember that there is no stigma attached, i.e as the Khalsa know, there is no fear.
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