Marriage with no intimacy

[Guest Helpme]

What does a sikh guy do if hes in a marriage where his wife wont sleep with him. Its been a few years but then 9 months since the last time. We live like house mates, seperate bedrooms, absolutley no intimacy whatsoever. There is absolutley no family support. Theres just two of us in our home. Shes happy to live like this and i feel enjoys making me suffer and wont divorce as shes scared of her family and has no where to go. So basically its how its gna be. Its never going to be same in future as I know what its done to me these last few years.  Any guy might of went elsewhere but ive kept sikhi intact. but what the hell does a person do?

It affects self esteem, and start to question if im no good or not good enough. I didnt think it would but its so demotivating and affects every area of life. Even to the point of living sikh life as the joy of a companion is gone and its just constant pain of living eith someone who dont love me back.

 

 

 

[sikhni777]

Not a good situation to be in. 

SGGS Ang 403 has some strong lines which tell us and give us support to stand firm in character when faced with difficulties. 

(No one has bothered to answer because no one actually knows except you and her about why and how you ended up in this situation.)

However making some assumptions I will guess end some answers. It may be any of these, however it is for you to find out.

1. She may have turned ultra religious such that she feels a sexual relationship will affect her bhagti.

2. She has some health problem which probably gets better the further away she stays from you.

3. She has found someone else. This is a ploy of separate bedrooms and stuff... and after a while she will drop the divorce bomb on you first.

4. She may be stressed out doing some studying and work at the same time and feel you keep getting on the way - so best way is lead separate lives.

5. You have not been good to her and she is bitter to you because of something - and has decided to get her revenge and enjoy to see you suffer slowly.

 

Either way there are solutions ... the first of which is communication. You need to try to talk and find out. If it does not work... then unfortunately you may have to spy on her and see what she is doing, whom she is meeting and what her secret agenda is. 

Whatever way you choose - best of luck!!!!!!!

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Every situation for this scenario is different, not enough was explained on your part. The solution is also different for each little thing. Did you even ask her why?

[Guest honest dave]

3. She has found someone else. This is a ploy of separate bedrooms and stuff... and after a while she will drop the divorce bomb on you first.

 

when a woman doesn't even want to be touched by her husband...usually means she is seeing someone else.

sorry brother.

[Guest ....]

Sit down and talk to your wife and work out what the problems are. Talk to one or two close trusted friend's. The Internet can't help you solve this one 

[Guest Prabhjot]

You need to ask her directly about what the future of your marriage. Try to make it work. Try counseling and speaking with friends. Spend time with each other and find out what is happening. Tell her what you want and ask her what she wants. How can you work together to make that happen?

Good Luck

[Lionesswoman]

Sit with her and calmly find out what the problem is, express your side to her and try and come up with a mutual solution. 

 

Were all all free to do what we want, there is divorce but you made a vow in front of Guru Granth Sahib Ji so give it your best shot at trying to make it work. 

 

Dont treat her badly even if she treats you badly, two wrongs don't make a right. There are reasons women don't want intimacy, one may be that she may feel she'll lose her spirituality. If thats the case, love and respect her anyway and let her make her choices when she's ready to.