Destroyed In Marriage

[Guest Lekha jokha]

Reminds me of a story mom used to tell me 1000 sof years back,

There was an old pandit, very wise and silent nature but her wife was very very rude, who used to scold the pandit about 20 hrs a day, she always saying bad words to her husband,

One day a man asked, why dont u just give her a good hit on the nose, look she saying bad stuff to u.

Pandit replied, its lekha jokha from past life

I was a crow last life nd she was a poor cow, she has some injury on the backbone, i used to eat flesh from her injury everyday and gave her too much pain

She started to become weak due to injury pain given by me

One she she went away and i was very angry and hungry, after searching about whole day i finally found her and i hit her backbone with my chunjj so deep that it got stucked there, i was trying to move but she, in pain, fell into the river, we both died there

So this life she is taking the pain from me,

Meaning of story is that brother u dnt should blame anyone vichola or anyone, it was pending for ur life, it had to be in the same was it happened,

So just do ardass and move forward

We are here on earth just to finish the pending lekha jokha of past life, when its all done we will merje with god

Thanks

[Guest Singh]

One has to be very careful marrying someone when immigration is involved. My cousin went through a similar situation as you. He married a girl who's Nana was the Vichola and a giani at a gurdwara. As the Nana was a giani my cousin trusted him and thought the girl would be of good nature as she as Japji Sahib memorized...did path etc. The wedding fell apart a few days later when the girl was busted making calls to her boyfriend. It was later determined that the boyfriend was actually at the wedding. My cousin wanted a divorce but they wouldn't agree. After six months of being in limbo they said the only way to get the divorce was to pay the girls family $15k Canadian. Anyways long story short...he went through a very tough time but a few years later married another girl and are happy now so keep your head up.

[singhbj singh]

Look on the bright side you & your family could use a house maid.

Sponsor her and she would do all the washing, ironing, cleaning & cooking in return for food n lodging.

[simran345]

Look on the bright side you & your family could use a house maid.

Sponsor her and she would do all the washing, ironing, cleaning & cooking in return for food n lodging.

No she wouldn't, she'd probably run off. And that wasn't a wise reply Paji, but a sexist one.

[singhbj singh]

No she wouldn't, she'd probably run off. And that wasn't a wise reply Paji, but a sexist one.

If she is not going to be a housewife then why did guys parents fix this marriage ?

There is no mention of dowry so what clinched the deal ?

Once married efforts must be made to stay married, what is wrong with a bit of spin doctoring ?

Am not sexist just stating the facts, guys who migrate n become Ghar Jamai's are also treated as house servants, please check :-)

[simran345]

If she is not going to be a housewife then why did guys parents fix this marriage ?

There is no mention of dowry so what clinched the deal ?

Once married efforts must be made to stay married, what is wrong with a bit of spin doctoring ?

Am not sexist just stating the facts, guys who migrate n become Ghar Jamai's are also treated as house servants, please check :-)

No need to check, I know many relatives and couples who live happily. What's with the Ghar javai's? Not everybody is like that, the housework should be shared, and nowadays it is. Only backward thinking people make one spouse do all the work, like a servant only and not a spouse. What about the foreign spouses, what you think they have a life of luxury? No Ji it's not the case, of who I know. In fact the ones that come from India, nowadays moja karde. So don't give me the bechare Ghar javai dialogue. You'd be surprised at the laid back thinking some have of not wanting to help with house work, like they don't in India. You got to move with the times and equality for all.

[Guest XYZ]

One thing don't feel destroyed because you are not. Change your title to something more on the positive side. Nothing lasts forever. She can't do anything to you. You did not sleep with you did not have any physical relations. You have a counter case that she did not do anything with you. You don't need to go back to that country. Make sure your father creates a Non-Profit institution and give the property to that that institution. She can touch it. Besides she denied you the first night. There are so many women out there that want to be married there are good ones there too. Just don't feel heart broken don't feel that you belong to her. You belong to the great lord. She was never yours. Sometimes things happen but we do not know what to do or how to feel. My parents did something to stop someone coming to Canada as my wife. They won but my heart is not broken. She was not meant to be she was not meant to be. Indeed arranged marriage are not for everyone. It was not for her. Depending upon how you grew up, you might not be as Punjabi as she is. Whatever you are is in your heart. I am different I don't have Punjabi Culture in me because I grew up with 99.9% with white kids. You learn to bring the best of both cultures. That is what Sikhi is. Bring the best forget the rest. Same thing with this SGPC DDT AKJ. Don't be 100% them take the best and forget the rest.

[Guest Guest]

Look on the bright side you & your family could use a house maid.

Sponsor her and she would do all the washing, ironing, cleaning & cooking in return for food n lodging.

If she is not going to be a housewife then why did guys parents fix this marriage ?

There is no mention of dowry so what clinched the deal ?

Once married efforts must be made to stay married, what is wrong with a bit of spin doctoring ?

Am not sexist just stating the facts, guys who migrate n become Ghar Jamai's are also treated as house servants, please check :-)

All im gona say on the first comment is that was an idiotic comment. Sponsor and treat her as a maid and go to jail, get taken to court and pay compensation eh??? Were you even thinking when you wrote that comment??? Look on the bright side??, there is no bright side over what happened.

What clinched the deal???

I worked with a guy my age for long time, who was also vichola`s son. We all thought he was a nice guy, always talking sweetly, polite but also very cunning, as we found out later. So parents asked him do you have any girl of marriageable age. He said "whenever I go to India, I always stay with these people, they are very nice and I know them very well". He talk to his dad who had come over here on a visitor visa, and he proposed the alliance with this girl. We took their word on the girl as all our family is here and agreed to marriage, but what happened in India was completely different. Now, the vichola and girl`s family still want me to sponsor her. They are more worried about the visa than what happened. So, trust is a big issue because you cannot trust anyone in today`s kalyug.

As for not taking dowry, god has given us everything we need. We dont need to ask anyone for dowry or anything else because anything we need, we can ask our supreme father who has everything and who gives everything.

[sssSSinghh]

I know of someone who went through a similar situation...

It's becoming a regular occurrence now.

General advice for everyone, don't get married in India...lol

And don't come under the illusion of keski wearing bibian..I'm not saying they are all the same,

just that don't assume because she's wearing a keski or appears to know her bania she's rehatvan amritdhari, there's a lot of fakes out there these days...

A lot of crazy women and men too..

You actually need to get to know them before going ahead with marriage

[kds1980]

To all of you guys who were cheated in marriage by Girl or her family please contact this lady

https://www.facebook.com/deepika.bhardwaj?fref=nf&pnref=story

She is fighting against biased laws against men where they were cheated by women , where fake cases of dowry , rape , molestation are filed against them, share your story