I've Cut My Hair..

[Guest GuptSingh]

Hi All, this might be a little bit of a read but here's background.

I started growing my hair when i was 16, my family were all against it and asked numerous times that if i took this path i would have to stick with it, 3 months later i took Amrit and it was amazing. I went strong for a very long time, i made some mistakes but i did my pesh and carried on with my life. Over the years i became lazy, slacked with Bani and AmritVelah and eventually stopped doing it altogether by the time i hit uni (18). I then started eating meat, my parents were totally supportive and said it was okay and have been eating it ever since, i kept my dari and kesh and carried on.

After a while i questioned why bother being a singh anymore if i've done all of this stuff, and recently those feelings have been getting worse and worse. I should have stopped and gone to the gurdwara, sat with sangat and cleansed my mind but i didn't want to. Not because i'm lazy but because i was just emotionally drained at this point. I've posted in this forum before, severe depression has taken its toll on me and i've contemplated suicide a few times.

Anyways, a few days ago i had the feeling of cutting my kes, i thought it would make my life easier. So i took a pair of scissor and cut a few strands, i didn't feel any remorse or bad feelings and carried on cutting it. After it was all gone i sat down and carried on like nothing happened, i felt nothing, i felt like i did no wrong, but i felt like a great weight had been lifted off of me.

I don't know how to tell my parents about this, although i know they wouldnt mind me cutting my dara because they've said before they are okay with it, i'm not sure how they will react to my head hair being cut.

Any advice on how to approach my parents ?