30 Day Going Sober Blog

[simran345]

OP Paji, I think you are having the dreams as your soul has been used to that routine, so it will take time to adjust. Sometimes the mind gets so used to something that it memorizes it and it kind of wants to do it. I said you will have those days that will stop your progress, that's why I mentioned the professional help as they know what it's all about and can advise better. One has to train the mind to adjust and change. It's like a computer, whatever one programs in, it will do that.

Don't worry about the dreams unless they become troublesome. Sometimes one has bad dreams due to stress in their life or changes taking place.

Better sleep methods:

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/sleep/how-to-sleep-better.htm

Previous topics on bad dreams:

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/76013-bad-dreams-any-actual-meanings/?hl=sleep#entry620405

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/67606-bad-dream/

Yes Paji, Basics of Sikhi are attending the gurdwara in your town. I've put the tour schedule on in Politics/Media/Feedback/Lifestyle Section.

It used to bother me, but now I've had a different view on it and am getting on with them better. I've had to work hard at it though and nowadays I tend to ignore the emotional side of it. I try to be nice as I can to them, but also step back when it gets too much or don't get on some things. You've just got to balance it and I know this may sound silly but I deal with it as if I'm at work.

I'm a penji by the way. I suggest you see a counsellor which your doctor can refer you to, or if you want go private. They are good and will teach you methods and tools to deal with your mentioned situations.

Sorry to hear about the alcohol organisation. There's another one too I think, they did talks at the Gurdwara, which I put on in Events a while back.

I think talking to the brothers on here will help you, like Dally Paji and Singh ji Jacfsing2 ji and others who have been or are in same situation.

[Guest]

Nah, it's Chatanga an Satkiran now......

Plus Paapiman going on gay.

lol

I always knew paapiman had those urges lol.

I'll check the forum maybe tonight.

[simran345]

This is the one I was on about:

[dallysingh101]

Ive spent most of today resting and spending time with my nephew. Theres something thats been on my mind today and I want to be honest about it on here. Another friend of mine called me this afternoon who I haven't spoke to since our last binge. He rang to say that it was his birthday in a couple of weeks and he was planning on getting the guys together to go out .... whilst in conversation with him, for about a minute or so I totally 'forgot' that I was going sober. I personally think that I hadn't forgotten and it is this other side to me that took over. When I realised I went quiet and told him that I'm not drinking anymore. He's told to me to come regardless and just not drink on the night but I don't know if I have that self control yet, I don't want to let a friend down on his birthday but I know I will be tempted to drink on the night. Ive been really annoyed with myself all day for that minute or so I was on the phone to him and let it slip my mind

Don't go. If he is a genuine friend he should understand. If not now, later.

It's not like he's a school girl who would be devastated if a friend never turned up for a birthday bash.

Get yourself sorted out, that should be your first and foremost priority. All this other sh1t is secondary to that. You won't be much of friend to anyone as a coke-head, alcoholic. Sort yourself out. Take however long it takes. Don't worry about party/celebrations at this delicate stage. You already know that you are more than likely to slip off the wagon if you go. Commend yourself for having that much self-awareness and honesty.

Now act on it.

[dallysingh101]

Strong words but Ill take them. Going to take your advice and not go

Get a stronger grip of your urges without surrounding yourself with temptation. Otherwise you're like a lamb to the slaughter.

If you turn up, most of us will know what will come next. You'll be posting something like:

I'm so annoyed with myself, I knew it was going to happen. I don't know why I went!

I ended up drinking 4 pints and sniffing a quarter gram! I couldn't help it. My mates and cousin was telling me to do it. They put pressure on me. I didn't want to feel like the odd one out.

Now I'm laying in bed feeling as sick as a parrot.

Damn, why did I go!

[simran345]

DAY 5 - 06/01/2016

Late last night after I had already posted my blog, my manager called me to see how I was doing. She offered me to take today off work too so I recover fully and I did. I think she knows I'm going through some difficulty and is being very understanding. Im definitely going back to work tomorrow. After my manager rang me last night, a friend of mine rang me and tried to persuade me to come out and go meet in the pub with him and some others, I had no difficulty in telling him no, probably because I was already in bed at the time

Ive spent most of today resting and spending time with my nephew. Theres something thats been on my mind today and I want to be honest about it on here. Another friend of mine called me this afternoon who I haven't spoke to since our last binge. He rang to say that it was his birthday in a couple of weeks and he was planning on getting the guys together to go out .... whilst in conversation with him, for about a minute or so I totally 'forgot' that I was going sober. I personally think that I hadn't forgotten and it is this other side to me that took over. When I realised, I went quiet and told him that I'm not drinking anymore. He's told to me to come regardless and just not drink on the night but I don't know if I have that self control yet, I don't want to let a friend down on his birthday but I know I will be tempted to drink on the night. Ive been really annoyed with myself all day for that minute or so I was on the phone to him and let it slip my mind

Besides that, its been a pretty normal day. I reckon one more sleep and I will be back to normal, I've also been keeping up the healthy diet with the exception of roti in the evenings lol I've been trying to get onto sikhnet.com to do some reading but I can't seem to get on the site - has anyone else has problems with the site today? I'll have to try on my computer at work tomorrow. Ive still not had any cravings or urge to go out so thats a good thing.

Thank you for the links simran, I will have a look at these and I will try to take your approach when it comes to family. Not sure if it will work though, my Dad is so loud that even when I do step away and come upstairs to my room I can still hear him - and thats when he's not shouting! lol

Also thank you for the post on the alcohol and drug programme in Birmingham. I wish I lived closer to these cities where they have all these programmes on, my city hardly has anything on, I'm surprised basics of sikhi are coming

I agree with Dally Paji, don't go. Give yourself a chance and time for this change. As you know if you go, it will be hard to control not drinking when everyone else is.

If you talk to him direct, instead of hiding or making excuses, just tell him that you're stopping drinking and being around those that do won't help you at this stage. Dally Paji is right is right, if he is a genuine friend he won't encourage you or make fun of you.

It's times like this when one finds out their real friends.

Don't give into group pressure of friends, time to stand on your own feet and not follow others like sheep. You got to be bit disciplined with yourself, not let others walk all over you. Make your own decisions.

You've just started, don't throw the towel in so soon. You will feel so much better for it after, rather than regretting and feeling the dialogue Dally Paji put on above.

Banda banja ??

[Guest Jacfsing2]

DAY 6 - 07/01/2016

Actually got a good nights sleep yesterday and went back to work today. Generally feeling good, think its because of the change in diet and good night sleep. I woke up this morning and done the mool mantar in my head over and over again as I was getting ready. I don't say 'waheguru' as much as I should but I did it a lot more today whilst walking around. I haven't had any phone calls today like I usually do but im glad. All in all, I've generally felt a lot more fresh today and positive. I feel as if I need to improve my diet even more though, I do good all day then its the rotiya when I get home!

DallySinghs post snapped me out of it lol even though I don't like to admit it, I think I was worrying about what my friends were going to say and think but I read his post and its exactly what i needed, the harsh truth. Im no longer going on this night out and its up to them if they want to understand or not

I still haven't had any urges to go out or do anything yet but the weekend is coming and that will be a test for me. Im going to take the advice I have received on here and try to keep myself busy by exercising. Maybe go on a long bike ride if the weather is good and also do some training with dun bells at home

^^ this made me laugh but its true. You guys would probably be sat here reading something similar to that if I do go

Your right penji, time to learn some discipline and not follow the crowd! Im definitely not throwing the towel in just yet, I feel good and my mood in general is positive which is rare for me lol

Do you get lots of thoughts of the "Just one sip", thoughts? It must be pretty hard going through this I'd suppose.

[dallysingh101]

Im going to take the advice I have received on here and try to keep myself busy by exercising. Maybe go on a long bike ride if the weather is good and also do some training with dun bells at home

That's the way to do it man!! Get buff!!

Make all kindz of gainz!

Might be a good idea for you to pen down a little training routine for the weekend too. Something to follow.

[Guest]

If you need some help with some exercise training then just contact me.

[sikhni777]

Well you are on the right path. There is nothing to be gained by drinking and drugs. My grandfather passed away prematurely at the age of 70 because of his drinking habits. He was just such a good man and had a good heart and helped many people - he may have done more, unfortunately he had too many helath problems because of drinking. My dad too indulged heavily before he got married and could not stop until much late. My dad had his tonsils removed and could not eat tomatoes and spicy foods so we all ate bland food. Luckily my mum managed to get him to stop completely but it took almost 20 years.

Luckily I am married in a family where there are five brothers and no one drinks at all. Both my brothers have never touched drink. I have 8 nephews and 2 nieces who have never touched any alcohol. We are all very happy, no major health problems, have enough money to live comfortably and are thankful to God that he has kept us away from drink. yes, we all have a limited social life - but people respect us for our choice.

Just to let you know that you are not alone who has decided to not drink. There are many others. It would be beneficial for you to befriend such people who don't drink.

When I was at work all the girls drank - and they wanted to ask me out and lace my drink with alcohol which they maybe just joking. So I never went out with them.

So yes - you have to be ready to become head strong and see all the evil in drink. That is what it is. It is all evil - breeds evil and leads you to evil. It hurts you and everyone else around you. The pleasure of a drink is shortlived and its after effects are painful and you have to live with them.

The name of waheguru - is the true nectar - the true drink. The drink which is fun to drink and the after effects are peace and liberation. Amrit peevo sadha chir jeevo.

So keep up with your good habits and eventually what you reap will be good rewards.

However it is important to focus more on the positive - such as begin a project or course or hobby which will have all your attention instead of trying to focus on avoiding the drink. Nothing that will stress you out but something to keep you occupied to the extent that you loose yourself in it. Art, writing, photography could be anything which you always thought you wanted to do but never had enough time.

Fresh juice is a good way to recover from any lathargy. I personally tried juicing - carrots, peppers, cucumbers, spinach and the lot. Helps you recover from any bodily weakness you may be having because of ill health. There is lots of advice and recipes online on different types of juices.