I Need Advice

[Guest crazy kaur]

I need help bcus i keep getting too attched to people, like ill want the person to be all mine, im not talking about lover, i mean as family... i.e. my close cousins ... like ill try really hard and always look forward to get togethers so when i see them kinda mingling with other far relatives who dont really try too hard. . I get really upset from the inside.. its kind of eating me away bcus i get do entangled into the love they give me and get protective and jealous ...

i just cant seem to accept that everyone is going to talk to everyone, just as i do, if i can do it then why do i get jealous when others are... i think its an insecurity in myself bcus i feel that they wont think im the really nice person they all say i am...n will like others better.

thank vaheguru i have never done anything to provoke hatred for others in their minds but this whole feeling is killing me alive...

[Guest way]

I also need advice on same issue!

plzzzzzz help

[Sa1nam]

Thats quite a admission benji not many people are so open about their short comings, reminds me off a talk Guys spiers a Value investor gave where talked (ill link because i think we can get knowledge and wisdom from all walks of life) about after graduating Oxford and talking business at Harvard he felt the world owed him a large salary, and the worldly things that came with it. As a investment banker he worked at a firm which has less than savory attitude to morals, he goes on to say he suffered envy, jealousy at other people who were more successful and were doing better.

What Gurbani says about these thoughts are they are brought on by Kaal, which controls the Punj choor which is apart of the 3 guuns Guru Amar Das jee talks about in Anand shiab, where the wold is a sleep in Tria Gun, Rajo, Tamo, Sato,

thrai gun keeaa pasaaraa ||

He formed the expanse of the entire universe from the three gunas, the three qualities

thrai gun aap sirajian maaeiaa mohu vadhhaaeiaa ||
He Himself formed the three gunas, the three qualities; He increased the attachment to Maya.

thrai gun maaeiaa khael bhar bhar dhhovee||
The Maya with her three gunas (qualities - rajas, tamas and sattv) plays her games and sometimes fills the man (with hopes and desires) and at another time empties him totally frustrating his plans.

There is no quick fix benji of stopping these thoughts, it will take time and effort but Guru Jee has given us the tools to combat these three guns and ultimately conquer Maya, like a previous post i made, a minimum amount of Simran a day as a Sikh should be no less that 2 hours 40 miniutes, though depending on your hunger for gur-sikhi jevan and how long you maybe currently doing simran/bani, it may sound daunting, i would suggest if it seems like to much start with 40 mins in the morning 40 mins in the eve, and build it up.

Secondly its good you are aware of the thought in your mind, be aware of them and target the thoughts you think in the short term you can try to work on which arnt so heavy, then move to the next over a while months you will see progress threw the simran and actively combating thoughts you will see real progress.

[singhbj singh]

Moh or Pyaar

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/53658-moh-or-pyaar/