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Sexual Abuse And Opinion


Guest Harmeet
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Guest Harmeet

Hi! I am 21 year old girl and I want to move out from my house. The reasons are my mom had a second marriage and my step-dad (never seen or know anything about my real father) raped me since the age of 7 I was not able to understand till the age of 12 what was happening all I knew was that I didn’t want him to hurt me further. Since my mom did night shifts but when she quit work one day I mustered up the courage to tell her what was happening, around the age of 11. She told me to keep quiet and the same happened again when she returned back to work. But it was worse because since I had told my mom about it and she literally did nothing other than scream at him once. So he continued his abuse openly now and then every week he would kick my mom out of bed and take me from my room and rape me once, twice, or thrice a week as he pleased. My mom would just sleep beside my little sister and watch it all happen in the same room. Somedays it hurt so bad I would get up naked walk in the house and look for ways to kill myself. I am the only child from the first marriage the other two children belong to him even they hate their father for all he has done to me. At the age of 18 when I thought I had hope to go off to university and get far from this horror he didn’t let that happen every time I had an exam in grade 12 he would wake me up and beat me make sure I wouldn’t sleep. I still somehow managed to get a good gpa but he didn’t let that happen. Said there were financial problems so I couldn’t go to university and neither did he let me save up or do any job. I wasn’t allowed to have more than one female friend or even stay after school 5 mins extra for help not allowed to socialize with any family. He isn’t worth calling a monster he has done way more beyond that I was staying in the house so maybe I can could encourage my mom but she isn’t willing to move on. One day it got soo out of hand my brother called the cops while he was beating and I reported him for domestic violence and then he broke that prohibition entered the house and beat my mom with my step-aunt. All this happened just in begining of 2015. I thought this would make my mom realize she isn’t weak she can be independent but all she does is chase him and thinks he will change or has changed I know he hasn’t. He will be able to enter the house in February again all my mother is after is money and what people will say. I cant take these suffocations further I don’t care how he made up fake stories about me wanting to live alone so I can be a <banned word filter activated> that’s what he calls me. I really don’t care if no indian will want to marry me. I just want to have happiness and live a normal life, I know it’ll be hard but I’m willing to work two jobs just to get away from this pain. The only thing is my guilt conscious of leaving my mother but if she doesn’t want help, how can I help her? Knowing she will push me into the same hole. Will God still punish me for leaving my mother or am I too selfish??

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Harmeet

Oh My God, have you really been through that? How old are you now? Is this really real? If so please get out of that house and report what has happened to you to the authorities and to the local Sikh Sangat and media right away!

Is there anyone that can help you? Exactly where do you live? If you tell me then maybe I can see what I can do to help.

I have a young daughter, only 3 years old - your story terrifies me.

Please please either reply to this or get in touch with the authorities and report what you have been through - its is WRONG not to report this.

I will monitor this thread for your reply.

Rab Rakha

Manny

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Harmeet Ji, you have been very brave for disclosing what has happened to you and still is.

No, God will not punish you for leaving your mother. And no, you are not selfish. God does not punish somebody for getting help or getting out of negative situations.

All these years you and your family have gone through some much evilness and negativity, but still you have been strong. You should get help.

Contact the above helpline paji Singhbj has put on, but from your post I'm guessing you are from USA or Canada. In that case contact the support lines in those countries.

Not sure if these will help, but putting them on for you:

http://www.calgarycasa.com/contact-us/

http://www.kaurlife.org/support-for-survivors-of-sexual-assault/

http://www.sikhhelpline.us/live-chat.html

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Harmeet,

Don't blame yourself for anything. You haven't done anything wrong. It is that animal at fault. And your mum for being so weak.

I would contact a Sikh organisation in your country that specialises in this type of situation that could help you. The contact details given in simran345's post may point you in the right direction for this.

You've already been SO strong and brave in dealing with this on your own and confronting it, you are going to have to continue being brave now.

You know that you can't put up with this any longer. Do what you need to do. Keep trustable people around you (that is really important).

My prayers are with you.

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Guest Jacfsing2

You should leave your, "family",(a family that openly let's this happen to anyone, isn't a family worth being part off). You could contact some organization that can help you with your problems.

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VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Parents have a responsibility towards their children to keep them safe, happy and away from the evl - not to be evil incarnate. Have no guilt, move, pursue any and all legal charges you want against that monster and I hope your torment sees an end. There is no excuse for this and he is a complete monster. God does not punish people for getting away from monsters.

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To everyone that has commented thank you soo much I just needed to know the next step I was taking is toward the right direction. I don't hold myself responsible for anything anymore. I don't want to pursue any charges I just want to get out and start a life where I can continue my education and live peacefully without any fears anymore. I live in Toronto and currently just making myself financially stable by getting a job and saving to leave before February.

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Guest get out of there now

You need to leave. Contact your local womens refuge asap. Or if you cant then take your things and go to a police station asap. Like walk out right now. No delay.they will advise. You now are responsible for what hapoens and you need to get out.

If you can you need to get your younger sister out of there too. Or alert the authorities asap.

Whats happened is wrong and abuse at highest level. You need to give a full report to the police and register it. Take a reference number. Then contact the links the sangat hav given, inform them of the reference of the report also send it to united sikhs who may give you legal support when needed.

Priority is that you get out

then your youbger sister.

your mum n brother or anyone else will make their own devisions. If your mum wanted to make the right decision she woundlt hav put you through that. So right now you cant help her and especialy until you havent helped yourself. Once ur in a safe place then get the autborities to help the rest of the family.

If the police arrest your dad you stil need to make sure you dont stay ay home. You need to get out of that space altogether.

Contact the help channels that have been provided!!

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