Getting Married In India?

[Guest Bachelor]

Has anyone on this forum married a partner from india? or anyone who is from india and has married someone abroad?

I am a UK amritdhari singh - probably going to start looking around next year for a dastar wearing singhni. I am curious about looking for a match in India, just wonder what people's experiences have been?

What worked? What was difficult? How about compatibility? Personally I would be looking for someone educated and fluent in English (my own punjabi is not perfect). I would want them to be educated as I would like my partner to be able to have a good job here, like myself.

Would a UK Singh be able to find a Singhni like this in India? I ask as I know its quite common for Singhs to marry a housewife from India, but I'm not sure of many who have looked in India for a well qualified, working singhni (maybe in a field such as IT, medical, etc.) who is also very much into Gursikhi.

Please share your stories, advice and opinions regarding marriage in India, specifically for amritdhari gursikhs.

[Guest Guest]

Yes, you can find an educated-fluent in English Singhni from India.

Thing is you need to look beyond punjab & caste should be no bar.

Here is an example

http://www.sikhmatrimonials.com/sikhnet/singles.nsf/SearchAll/21217f5cd72beb3186257ac8004a064b!OpenDocument

[LifeIsBeautiful]

Hey bro,

I just recently got married in India, and a couple of suggestions I have is you are in control, don't feel like you need to be pressured or made to marry anyone, don't sthow any desperation. Sikhi is pretty rare in India, I married a girl who had a paag wala bhaap and found her to be very anti-sikh. So dont' let appearances deceive you. Ask questions about their values,all I can say is its a gamble regardless, people are a lot more modern than you think.

Try Baru Sahib, as well, as they have all their girls wear paags.

Best of luck.

[S4NGH]

Why limit your search to india? You both will have had very different upbringings, very different educations, very different life experiences. You guys will be miles apart in terms of a common wave length. Its difficult enough adjusting to a complete stranger whos from the same country, similar upbringing etc. I personally dont think its a good idea.

[MisterrSingh]

You've gotta be on top of your game, mentally speaking. Don't break eye contact, because the moment you do, they attack. Stand your ground and be firm. Oh, no, wait, that's how they train lions in the circus. Apologies, I was thinking of something else, lol.

[Guest ssingha]

I am marrying a girl from India. Well educated, went away from home for university and stuck to our traditional roots. Basically she was grounded in our traditional roots when she was a child. Knows how to balance life and i had no problem connecting with her or her with me

S3arching for a girl with a dastar shouldn't be a must or first on the list. Search for someone who is grounded in her values and not easily influenced by others opinion or how they live. She is at heart a pind di kuri and able to hold up herself before the two faced western world. You cannot expect them to automatically adapt to the west though. It takes time.

Make strong moral values your number one priority. Education can come with time. Girls with undefined or relaxed with moral values may have a good education and dastar but they can have or will make many wrong decisions when it comes to morals. It's harder to change values than obtain more education.

I have been introduced to many girls from the west and they have a very superficial idea of how a person stays loyal to Sikhi values. They look at Sikhi from a western lense. Then there are those who in india have the same outlook in life but are vwry few of them.

Ask a lot of questions and don't be afraid to offend them. The more they are genuinely offended will present a better picture of them. Yet say it in a way of asking a question you are willing to answer about yourself as well. the girl i am going to marry was asked a lot of assertive questions and she had no more problem with it. She knew my motive was not to be offensive or disrespectful. And now we laugh about it.

Be in control of the conversations and assertive. The morally corrupt will show a superficial attitude of being offened by assertive questions. Hold off answering questions till you have made an informed decision of the type of person she is or will be. Really body language tells more about a person than the answer. Be confident on what you are asking and how you present yourself. She may be shy and nervous but still confident and this shows honesty. People who are really shy and nervous tend to do more repetitive hand and/or leg/feet movements. Example would be to keep rubbing there hands and fingers and a stunned look on their face. The once who fake it will have a shy look to them but there hands/legs/feet will be very calm because they are focusing on faking it.

It worked out for me.

[Guest jormy]

Can you give a list of questions to ask ? any example ? what kind did you ask? thanks.

What if the other person gets intimidated and refuses ?

[Guest 3949]

bump

[Guest 3401]

please answer

[dontcallmebhaji]

questions:

how many boyfriends have you had? If yes, were they sikh? If no, then what were they and why have you changed route to a traditional path? Are you the last roll of the dice?

do you like to work, will you go out to work and support the husband EQUALLY?

do you swear?

are you a calm or violent person?

what type of car would you like to own? If she says Porsche,Ferrari, Audi TT etc...... attention seeking, look at me type of girl.

do you drink?,

do you smoke?

if she has older sisters don't believe a single word that comes out of their mouths!

look at her sister husbands, that could be you in a few years time!

look at her dad. If you don't like what you see RUN and don't look back. As that will be you in you in 30 years time.

Lastly, Say you don't believe in divorce but if you find out she has lied, you will make her life hell, and thats just the beginning. No violence!

im not joking with this post, be serious and leave no doubt about what your expectations are from your future wife. Don't be a fool and ask for ridiculous expectations, remember one day you will have daughters and your future wife will have major influence on they way they will be raised. You will also have sons and if you don't respect your wife they won't respect women!