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Im Falling Off The Path


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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Recently negative thoughts have been destroying me inside. I feel like these thoughts are breaking me inside.

I was so blessed by Guru Ji that over the year I was blessed with the gift of Kesh, I started to read some banis. But now I feel stuck/blocked. I can't even do Japji Sahib in less than 45 minutes, because either negative thoughts pop-up in my head, I worry about if im pronouncing Guru Ji's bani properly or Im not concentrating properly. And now doing path seems less sweet to me, It is getting harder to do.

I just don't want to fall of the path. I love Sikhi and Guru Ji but im falling now.

I can't ignore these thoughts anymore, it starting to hurt my head know.

The way i do my banis is I go on YouTube and follow to my best the word by word videos, I wish i could do them from the Gutka Sahib Ji but if I do it would take me about 45 minutes to do Japji Sahib, and I have to go study as well.

Im having so much trouble waking about at Amirt Vela, I sleep at 1am wake up and waste a lot of time in the shower thinking and getting ready I start doing path at like 11am. I sleep at 1am because, I have to study and haven't sat down and follow Guru Ji's bani so I have to do it latter. But I can't seem to sleep early and do my banis early.

My exams are coming up as well, so I really need help balancing my time.

Through out the day my mind says to say this bani for example some of the Rags from Kirtan Sohila, but it takes me ages to do say it becuase of thoughts coming in my end and me worrying about if i am saying it correctly, our if i understood the meaning. That it takes me a long time, and If i dont say it i feel guilty.

I don't know what to do. Its so hard when I don't feel like doing a bani.

I might not be able to do 5 banis properly in my life If i continue like this. And I hope Guru Ji blesses me so i can take Amirt.

Please forgive this fool, if i said anything wrong or offensive.

May Guru Ji bless you all.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

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http://www.sikhawareness.com/topic/564-suleman-da-ghost/


Watch these... A lot of inspiration...
Listen to these ... https://soundcloud.com/gurshabadveechar/sets/katha-vichaar
https://soundcloud.com/gurshabadveechar/sets/parsang-of-sri-guru-harkirshan
https://soundcloud.com/sikh2inspire/sets/chamkaur-di-garrhi-the-battle
https://soundcloud.com/sikh2inspire/sets/shaheedi-of-chhote-sahibzade
When you do your nitnem read along/listen AND READ THE TRANSALTIONS as you go along...



Try to dosimran with everybreath

LISTEN TO KIRTAN!!!

Check out the suleman forum link tooo to understand more....

Please listen to all the soundcloud and videos aswelll

Ask for anymore help..!!!

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Recently negative thoughts have been destroying me inside. I feel like these thoughts are breaking me inside.

I was so blessed by Guru Ji that over the year I was blessed with the gift of Kesh, I started to read some banis. But now I feel stuck/blocked. I can't even do Japji Sahib in less than 45 minutes, because either negative thoughts pop-up in my head, I worry about if im pronouncing Guru Ji's bani properly or Im not concentrating properly. And now doing path seems less sweet to me, It is getting harder to do.

I just don't want to fall of the path. I love Sikhi and Guru Ji but im falling now.

I can't ignore these thoughts anymore, it starting to hurt my head know.

The way i do my banis is I go on YouTube and follow to my best the word by word videos, I wish i could do them from the Gutka Sahib Ji but if I do it would take me about 45 minutes to do Japji Sahib, and I have to go study as well.

Im having so much trouble waking about at Amirt Vela, I sleep at 1am wake up and waste a lot of time in the shower thinking and getting ready I start doing path at like 11am. I sleep at 1am because, I have to study and haven't sat down and follow Guru Ji's bani so I have to do it latter. But I can't seem to sleep early and do my banis early.

My exams are coming up as well, so I really need help balancing my time.

Through out the day my mind says to say this bani for example some of the Rags from Kirtan Sohila, but it takes me ages to do say it becuase of thoughts coming in my end and me worrying about if i am saying it correctly, our if i understood the meaning. That it takes me a long time, and If i dont say it i feel guilty.

I don't know what to do. Its so hard when I don't feel like doing a bani.

I might not be able to do 5 banis properly in my life If i continue like this. And I hope Guru Ji blesses me so i can take Amirt.

Please forgive this fool, if i said anything wrong or offensive.

May Guru Ji bless you all.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

There is no such thing as a perfect Sikh so you arent a failure or not a proper Sikh if you cant concentrate. Every human being lapses in the path they have taken, if they havent they arent human they probably extraordinary or a robot machine.

Waheguru knows your strengths your weaknesses and where your heart is. So as long as you have love for Sikhi, Guru ji and almighty Waheguru ji you shouldnt worry about anything else. Even if you lapsed so bad that you shaved and cut your hair today but know this that it wont matter one bit to your lord it might do to your family and sangat around you but your lord will always be there for you and guide you back.

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Please remember - you are not your thoughts you are witness consciousness to your thoughts where thoughts/self indentifications come in and go like clouds appear and disappear-That which remains never comes and goes (analogy sky above clouds) which is real you- pure witness consciousness awareness bliss, abiding in that truth remembrance itself is first stage which in itself is quite liberating, all negative emotions, good and bad thoughts are destroyed in a instant fire of that wisdom (gyan) of knowning, after spontaneous knowing that you are not your thoughts, thoughts looses its power on you and then one is more and more automatically start disindentifying with their thoughts but more and more identifying with our universal pure portion of mind or source of mind which is our pure unconditioned surat(intuitive consciousness). One of deep profound meaning of Gurmukh is Gur(chaitan-consciouness) Mukh(towards) - Gurmukh is one who attention is towards its inner pure consciouness(Gur) within which helps breaking egoic condtioned mind(thoughts) structure slowly.

Thoughts is root problem, that has to be addressed than everything falls into place. You cannot pursue spiritual sikhi with fearful/diseased conditioned mind. Pure pristine Sikhi start reflecting on open unconditioned receptive mind not mind with conditioning.

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Just to clarify previous post:

Depression, stress, anxiety, negative thoughts can be removed- if you don't give up and with perseverance combat them by not identifying with them. Start off with ardas to Guru maharaj ji to bless you with will power and perseverance, because without grace of vahiguru/satguru's kirpa not even one leaf can move on the tree.

Everyone(even sinners of highest calibre) is born with pure portion of mind ( source of mind which is right at the starting edge of mind) which we sikhs call it surat/bibek/brahmakar unconditioned birthi- intuitive unconditioned consciousness/pure cognitive perception. So divide your mind into two-

-diseased mind which is affected by five vices, depression, stress, anxiety, emotional negative suicidal thoughts
-pure portion of mind-intuitive unconditioned consciousness/pure cognitive perception mind

What we often do is we try to combat diseased conditioned mind with diseased conditioned mind which may only provided band aids fixes but it does not look at the root, that's why many psychologist fail to address the root cause, they provide solution to fix one problem but inadvertently create other problems as well-such as more conditioning, dependency on medication etc.

So With pure portion of mind start a first phase journey which is simply witnessing the thoughts come in, let whatever thoughts (no matter how hideous) come in and whatever thought go -go..don't judge or analyze the thoughts, just simple witness as pure witness, it will take some practice so to make it easier..here are some analogies it help further or visualize:

-Witness the thoughts visualize-thoughts being clouds-appearing/disappearing on its own accord , it does not matter to you because you are the sky which has pure vantage view (pure unconditioned intuitive cognitive consciousness-achal thoughtless surat) in which thoughts come in and out as clouds, you have pure vantage to witness your thoughts not matter how big and scary clouds are, it cannot touch you as you can always see them below, they are below you.

- Imagine you are in the middle of road- each thought is car trying to hit you, drag you with it. Imagine how painful it is being hit by each car (thought) which is dragging you all the way, what you do ? do you fight with a speedy car coming at you? No..you simply get on a side of road, move away and witness the thoughts(in form of car) travelling in and out of road-your view and ultimately ignore them by abiding in your consciousness(surat)...after a while car-lethal weapon (thoughts) will loose its influence on you as you will start witnessing them and not getting hit by them and eventually you will also transcendent witness stage as well in straight in abidance in already available inner state we all have already in our pure universal portion of mind which is achal moraat (pure motionless stillness-afor-thoughtless awareness) universal being at the point Guru's kirpa will unfold itself and guide you further.

Anyway, your main focus should be to disidentify with your negative thoughts, but since you are at it, you might as well try to understand thoughts structure how transient they are and illusory they are, disidentify with them all together with pure universal portion of mind (pure unconditioned intuitive cognitive consciousness), and don't worry about right actions and rights speech, trying to figure how to do naam jaap since everything comes from there, this unconditioned pure intuitive cognitive consciousness will guide you further how to do naam jaap, gurbani patt, right speech, right actions very naturally and spontaneously

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