Are Sikh Families Patriarchal?

[BSingh87]

I think the laughable jakara movement in the US is dangerously anti-sikh, its many contributors are feminist militant ideologically aligned and they not have any or much pro-sikh credentials.

Our Sikhs should challenge people behind jakara and Sikh women organisational groups because i remember they posted a video few years back where so called Sikh women in short mini skirts were asking if men can go clubs why cant we? Like hello your a Sikh woman and as a person of faith you shouldnt be concerned about going club or not as a Sikh woman you uphold the values of what a Sikh woman does ie be modest and dress modestly you dont see muslim women on muslim videos promoting why cant they go clubs if muslim guys can what the hell is it with some moronic women without our community that been brain washed with this very dangerous version of feminist sikhism? where did this come about? "oh i love my anti-sikh boyfriend because god says we are all one and it doesnt matter what your partner follows" come on our women in our faith really that messed up these days. If so then movements like jakara are to blame for brainwashing girls in the wrong direction and not brainwashing them in to increasing the number of Sikhs in the world.

Feminist twisted version of Sikhs blames all the ill's on men and does not promote the virtues of women in fact it promotes hatred of men. Personally I would not allow any platform and discussion of domestic abuse of women unless they is domestic abuse of men and domestic abuse against kids which mothers usually are guilty of. I have seen in many households the woman will instigate verbal or emotional abuse on males within her family which can lead to retaliatory verbal or physical abuse. Or sometimes physical abuse of the husband because the woman suspected he was cheating on her financial troubles or in-laws issues.

We need to metaphorically speaking slap down any feminist who doesnt want to promote sikhism and doesnt want to promote equal treatment and only concentrate on just "womens rights". Men have rights too and they need to be respected more so because without men there would be no Sikhism. We forget that women psychosocially want a man to take the lead and be in charge and "be a man" they want their cake and eat it. They are emotionally unstable creatures not their fault its just how nature / God made them. So to give women extraordinary power and rights without correcting them where they go wrong and putting them in their place will eventually lead the community into oblivion. In this world Nature and Waheguru respects the strong you just have to observe how the world and nature how the strong survive and the weak get trampled on.

If Sikhs allow feminists to breed within the faith and constantly self hate ourselves instead of the aggressors who attack our people and we as a community are not strongly spiritually, physically, emotionally and intellectually, and fiercely proud to be Sikh then Sikhs will be in history books.

You're a twisted "Singh" and your views in your comment are twisted as well and completely go against Gurmat and everything Vaheguru believes. Guru Sahib worked hard to bring about equality of women and to show the world that both genders have the same roles and status and are not limited to men. Men do not hold a position higher than women, that is just in your delusional egotistic mind and those of who agree with you in here. It's a view held by Muslims and for men who should be living in caves. Remember how ONE SINGHNI, Mata Bhag Kaur Jee brought sense, truth and courage back into the 40 SINGHS and led them back to helping Guru Sahib due to their weak nature and abandonment of Guru Sahib. Men did not create Sikhi, all other religions were created by men as they all have rules that favour men, but not Sikhi, Vaheguru created Sikhi and Vaheguru is formless. He is only represented as a husband symbolically, just as we are all represented as brides including the men. There is nothing else for me to say on this, so argue all you like with yourself.

[Ranjeet01]

And the above isn't wrong: Aborting after 3/4 girls and then treating the son as ladla? Most people especially in cities only want two kids max, maybe three. So these ppl aren't gonna wait after 3/4 girls. Also the ladla son is gonna get into trouble probably drugs. And the reason they require a son to pass on jaidad n keep name going is patriarchy. The power, the land, the name goes to the man...patriarchy. Lots of women don't want to marry but have to cuz of patriarchy. So yes there is patriarchy in Punjab but not in Sikhi.

By the way, why can't the name be passed on to a daughter's son (dhota) cuz now we know child gets 50% of both sides DNA...

I don't personally believe that it is patriarchy when land is passed onto the son, I think it is patrileanal but there is a great deal of matriarchy ( mother calling the shots). These ladla sons tend be spoilt and pampered by the female relatives such as grandmother, bhuas and mothers.

You will never get a dhota getting inheritance because that would potentially mean the juhai (son in law) want to get something, which mean all the rest of the sandus wanting something. It will create even more trouble as the daughter in laws will think that as they are the main women of the family and would want their entitlement.

The closest example of this I can think of is Rajiv Gandhi (dhota inheritance).

[Ranjeet01]

Also China had a 1 child policy so it compounded the effect.we will see consequences, just not yet. And it seems kudrat is trying to keep balance by giving those who don't abort ( poor ppl , liberal ppl, n Amridhari ppl) more girls. Also the statistics are like 700: 900 females to males so not too big difference in Punjab yet but the gap will be increasing. Like Bhagwant Maan would say then saudhe(trade) will be done: we only giving you daughter if u give us one. Then ppl will gave a daughter to secure a future wife for their son.

Interesting you mention China because what is happening there is there that boy to girl ratio is 3/4 to 1, the girls can pick and choose who to marry. They put a lot of demands before they would even consider getting married.

The ratio in Haryana is far more extreme that brides are imported from other states. In Punjab, if the ratio is more extreme in the urban areas and since the majority of the cities are Hindu, it could very well be possible that the Hindu Punjabi sex ratios are more skewed than the Sikh ones and therefore it could be concluded that it could actually be a Hindu problem than a Sikh one.

These are just random thoughts that I am sounding out.

[JagsawSingh]

Yes the female infantacide problem in Punjab is very much a Hindu problem. Its sad that we get tarnished with their barbaric practices.

As for Sikhs and patriarchy: Its got be acknowledged that the different Sikh groups do have different mannerisms and ways. For instance, any jatt Sikh will tell you that it is the female that all the men live in fear of. Physical and verbal bashings galore by the mum and wife. I know only too well. Had a feisty jatti mum that loved nothing better than physical violence and now got a jatti wife that is exactly the same. I just keep my mouth shut and do as I'm told.

[Singhni MiriPiri]

Yes the female infantacide problem in Punjab is very much a Hindu problem. Its sad that we get tarnished with their barbaric practices.

As for Sikhs and patriarchy: Its got be acknowledged that the different Sikh groups do have different mannerisms and ways. For instance, any jatt Sikh will tell you that it is the female that all the men live in fear of. Physical and verbal bashings galore by the mum and wife. I know only too well. Had a feisty jatti mum that loved nothing better than physical violence and now got a jatti wife that is exactly the same. I just keep my mouth shut and do as I'm told.

That is disgusting and I am sorry to hear that. I can't understand how anyone can cause physical or verbal harm to anyone, are they beasts in human form?! You shouldn't keep your mouth shut.

[cool water]

Mothers prefer sons, fathers prefer daughters. Everyone knows the saying "daddys little princess / little girl". And "Mommys boy" because they often are true. The reasons why there is female infanticide in punjab and more so in hindu areas of india is because mothers want sons. It's not pressure from fathers but pressure from fellow females ie mother-in-laws, etc to have sons and a baby boy. Fathers don't really care if they have sons or daughters those days are long gone, they might want one son to look after the family land and affairs but otherwise the daughters are often treated much better than the sons in urbanised educated families and area's.

Now lets discuss this dangerous feminist movement thats very anti-male thus making it anti-sikh. Because Sikh teaches us give equal treatment to people regardless of their gender but respect the differences because in gurbani it lays emphasis on women to dress modestly yet women dont wonna hear that they just wonna hear kings are born from women so why call her bad they forget so many instances in gurbani that tell them to behave but some wont listen. Feminists are not wanting equal treatment they want to destory what it means to be a man and their rights. Nature and Waheguru made men to do certain roles in society by giving them physical bodies for certain jobs and females for their roles and thats why they give birth and men dont.

No man apart from few are willing to stand up to the fierce and dangerous opposition of women's collective power. When they want to disgree with someone they all gang up against the one man who voices his objection to their antics. And if you give women this power then your on to a hiding to nothing you basically might aswell lose your manhood and start wearing a dress which is why many men are becoming gays because feminist women respect gays and take them under their wing because they dont see them as a threat. There are so many handsome gay guys out there and they just wont settle down with a woman because young women these days are drunk with the lust of attention, sex, power and money. They have forgotten what it means to be humble and respect men...

Recently we have seen a girl called preeti kaur a young canadian poet a feminists i believe who posted disgusting picture of herself having a period stained pyjama on instagram to provoke a reaction and make her name and get the fame because she wasnt attractiong enough followers or attention. She cities that its a natural human body function for a girl to have periods, which is fair enough but do you really need to share that private event with everyone? She argues that womens body give birth to mankind. Ok fair enough so lets give men their rights now to to show pictures of them semen ejaculation stained boxers because after all men supply the seed for mankind. And their seed is just as important as a womans womb. Will people stand up for mens rights to do that? No because right minded people will find that disgusting and not acceptable or appropriate behaviour to display bodily fluids all across social media to make a point. Aint nobody got time for that, but dumb feminists are so mentally disturbed and their lilly liberal far left supporters will support anything that pushes the boundaries of what is and isnt acceptable.

People will not stand up against the liberal extremists and militant feminists destroying our once strong ethnic religious communities with poisonous brainwashing because they have infiltrated the mainstream media and power structures of society.

[JagsawSingh]

That is disgusting and I am sorry to hear that. I can't understand how anyone can cause physical or verbal harm to anyone, are they beasts in human form?! You shouldn't keep your mouth shut.

Of course i should keep my mouth shut. Thats what makes this thread a bit of a paradox. It assumes all of we Sikhs are from the same culture, mannerisms and ways. The truth is that we are not. Jattian, by their very nature are not at peace with themselves unless they have a good fight and argument. Its part of their dna. We all know they rule the roost in the household. The men have to keep their mouth shut and obey for it is not possible to win an argument and fight against a jatti.

[scali]

A recent bollywood art movie Qissa potrays a sikh family in a negative light on the same issues.

Plot

Umber Singh, a Sikh after being displaced by the partition of 1947, has three daughters. He migrates to Punjab, India. Yet when his fourth daughter is born, he raises her as a boy, Kanwar Singh, who in times becomes a truck driver. However, when Kanwar Singh married to a girl, Neeli, this gives birth to complications.

[MisterrSingh]

Of course i should keep my mouth shut. Thats what makes this thread a bit of a paradox. It assumes all of we Sikhs are from the same culture, mannerisms and ways. The truth is that we are not. Jattian, by their very nature are not at peace with themselves unless they have a good fight and argument. Its part of their dna. We all know they rule the roost in the household. The men have to keep their mouth shut and obey for it is not possible to win an argument and fight against a jatti.

...based on your experiences and things you've heard from people you know. Not a universal truth. Thank God. Sounds like a bleak existence.

[JagsawSingh]

...based on your experiences and things you've heard from people you know. Not a universal truth. Thank God. Sounds like a bleak existence.

No. In between you who is an <banned word filter activated> and Alexander the Great who conquered the world but yet when reached rural Punjab wrote home to his mother in Greece and said "this is like no place we have seen before........the women plough the land as stong as the men" lies the truth. Bleak existence, my friend, is in the eye of the beholder. Me personally, thnak Waheguru for sending me such a jatti that beats me into submission.....beats me into being a good father....beats me into taking pride into the cleansiness of our house. Bless her for making this way. No bleak existence. Only bliss. Bliss, in the way that this man has neglected his talk on forums about football, Italian neo-realism cinema, ska, studio one reggae and northern soul and brought me to this Sikh forum. Bless her, the tough one, for being the fiesty tough one that would fight and fight to turn me towards Sikhi.

Bleak, my friend....Are you sure you wouldn't like to rephrase it ?

In our Sikh history there is nothing bleak about the nature of the jatti. I celebrate the fact that it is the fiesty jattis that have been responsible for 99% of the Sikhi rennaisance in the western world. I celebrate and give thanks for the fact that I married a jatti strong and tough enough to tame this old skool Southall geezer.

So, my friend, the only bleak existence that existence is the one that exists between your butt cheeks, and thats exactly where you can stick your view.