Kaur922

Sikh Guy Dating A White Girl.....

30 posts in this topic

So i know that in sikhi we are meant to marry a sikh......

Apparently i am in love with this sikh guy and i saw him with his girlfriend and it has been burning me inside....how do i stop thinking of him....

He wears a pugh but cuts most of his dhari...i myself am very religiou and love being a sikh....

can someone copy and paste the translation from the guru granth sahib ji about sikh marry a sikh?

Thanks

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So i know that in sikhi we are meant to marry a sikh......

Apparently i am in love with this sikh guy and i saw him with his girlfriend and it has been burning me inside....how do i stop thinking of him....

He wears a pugh but cuts most of his dhari...i myself am very religiou and love being a sikh....

can someone copy and paste the translation from the guru granth sahib ji about sikh marry a sikh?

Thanks

Bhenji,

it sounds like he is not being a sikh in many ways, why not try to immerse yourself in your Sikhi and wait for the right person , this guy is not the one for you.

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panjee, thank you for your reply..

whenevr i see him my heart beats really fast ...i think i love him...how do i stop this feeling..

he drinks a lot....i see him at work...so might see him a couple of times...

Thanks

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So i know that in sikhi we are meant to marry a sikh......

Apparently i am in love with this sikh guy and i saw him with his girlfriend and it has been burning me inside....how do i stop thinking of him....

He wears a pugh but cuts most of his dhari...i myself am very religiou and love being a sikh....

can someone copy and paste the translation from the guru granth sahib ji about sikh marry a sikh?

Thanks

Guru Granth Sahib doesn't say that a Sikh should marry a Sikh, that's part of the Rehit Maryada. http://realsikhism.com/index.php?subaction=showfull&id=1253135932&ucat=7

Despite I'm against interfaith marriage, I won't bother teaching him because odds are he's not interested. Also there are white Sikhs, a better term to use would be Christian girl.

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panjee, thank you for your reply..

whenevr i see him my heart beats really fast ...i think i love him...how do i stop this feeling..

he drinks a lot....i see him at work...so might see him a couple of times...

Thanks

The more you talk about him the less suitable he seems if he drinks a lot it is obvious he is interested in 'having a good time' not settling with anyone . What you are feeling sounds like a crush, you are young and it can happen but honestly if you try to follow through with this guy he will use your naivety against you and then probably dump you. Stay true to Guru ji, read about the Gursikh Men of our history then you will understand what kind of character a Sikh is supposed to have , that will help you realise what you really want: temporary affair or a happy fully committed life partner in SIkhi.

This kind of office Romeo are dime a dozen... you deserve the best ...

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Okay..sorry if i offend anyone...also i know that guru gobind singh ji said something of a sikh to marry a sikh only..and the anand kaaraj ceremony is a bliss between two sikhs, right?

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Guru Granth Sahib doesn't say that a Sikh should marry a Sikh, that's part of the Rehit Maryada. http://realsikhism.com/index.php?subaction=showfull&id=1253135932&ucat=7

Despite I'm against interfaith marriage, I won't bother teaching him because odds are he's not interested. Also there are white Sikhs, a better term to use would be Christian girl.

Veer she's desi Sikh but likes a desi 'Sikh' guy going out with a gori ... OK?

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The more you talk about him the less suitable he seems if he drinks a lot it is obvious he is interested in 'having a good time' not settling with anyone . What you are feeling sounds like a crush, you are young and it can happen but honestly if you try to follow through with this guy he will use your naivety against you and then probably dump you. Stay true to Guru ji, read about the Gursikh Men of our history then you will understand what kind of character a Sikh is supposed to have , that will help you realise what you really want: temporary affair or a happy fully committed life partner in SIkhi.

This kind of office Romeo are dime a dozen... you deserve the best ...

Thank you for your comment....he once kept looking at me as i was tlaking to my manager..and i wasn't as i was really shy..never talked to him.. but i see his facebook... you are right in what you say that he likes to have a good time and not a true sikh...thank you for your rply panjee..means a lot :)

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Thank you for your comment....he once kept looking at me as i was tlaking to my manager..and i wasn't as i was really shy..never talked to him.. but i see his facebook... you are right in what you say that he likes to have a good time and not a true sikh...thank you for your rply panjee..means a lot :)

No problem...that what sisters are for ...have a happy life

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So i know that in sikhi we are meant to marry a sikh......

Apparently i am in love with this sikh guy and i saw him with his girlfriend and it has been burning me inside....how do i stop thinking of him....

He wears a pugh but cuts most of his dhari...i myself am very religiou and love being a sikh....

can someone copy and paste the translation from the guru granth sahib ji about sikh marry a sikh?

Thanks

You say you are very religious......then you say you love to be sikh...then you say he cuts lots of his dhari.....then you say you are in love with him.....then you say your heart beat gets fast looking at him...then you say he drinks a lot ....but you still like him...wow .....

bibaa g sorry to say its not a love ...its a LUST

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There are 2-3 main problems here with the guy she's describing.

1. This guy wears a Pagg, but shaves his beard-A big no no.

2. He most likely got the conclusion that no Punjabi would date him if he had a turban on, through lots of experiences.

3. This 'Desi' girl continues wanting to get a guy that for who doesn't like her. I'm not a scientist, but there's clearly nothing special going on, find someone else.

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So i know that in sikhi we are meant to marry a sikh......

Apparently i am in love with this sikh guy and i saw him with his girlfriend and it has been burning me inside....how do i stop thinking of him....

He wears a pugh but cuts most of his dhari...i myself am very religiou and love being a sikh....

can someone copy and paste the translation from the guru granth sahib ji about sikh marry a sikh?

Thanks

Thank you for your comment....he once kept looking at me as i was tlaking to my manager..and i wasn't as i was really shy..never talked to him.. but i see his facebook... you are right in what you say that he likes to have a good time and not a true sikh...thank you for your rply panjee..means a lot :)

So wat he looked at u. Doesn't mean anything. Stop looking at his facebook, u will get depressed. He drinks lots, he has a girlfriend already. Is this wat u really want as a husband?

Wake up, and think about ur future with the right person, not with somebody u think u can change. And wat if he doesn't like u? Ever thought that? Just co u like him doesn't he likes u. Get out of dream world.

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There are 2-3 main problems here with the guy she's describing.

1. This guy wears a Pagg, but shaves his beard-A big no no.

2. He most likely got the conclusion that no Punjabi would date him if he had a turban on, through lots of experiences.

3. This 'Desi' girl continues wanting to get a guy that for who doesn't like her. I'm not a scientist, but there's clearly nothing special going on, find someone else.

1. dealt with she understands ...

2. False premise ...he is going out with a gori , drinking and partying up nobody told him to do that it is his choice he is NOT sikh in outlook THAT'S IT

3. Amazing you are ready with excuses for him but her... this is an inexperienced girl who has not actioned anything but asked for advice from her bigger brothers and Sisters before putting a foot forward , she understands what she should be looking for deep in her soul that's why the questions (GURSIKH) but she just needs a reminder to keep her on the path

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he drinks a lot....

NEVER MARRY SOMEONE UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN WHAT THEY ARE LIKE DRUNK :respect: :respect: :respect: :respect:

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Unless she converts his relationships basically not allowed in sikhi thus making him another punjabi atheist. True Sikhs know very well that a sikh can only have relationship / marriage with a fellow adherent.

If the "gori" converts then thats all well and good and he can continue with being with a fellow sikh who just happens to be white woman absolutely nothing wrong with that. But because she is most probably non-sikh he must either encourage her to embrace sikhi or him stop disgracing the faith and leave stop pretending he is a sikh as he is not following the faith but trying to go against the fundamentals with his antics.

In todays world there is much temptation to go off with non-sikhs and experience all kinda things in life, if that is what a so called sikh wants to do they need to first ask themselves 3 important questions

1) would the relationship have a future long term? parents accept it? community accept it?

2) Would almighty Waheguru accept your union? do you have love for your flawless creator stronger than his flawed human creation?

3 Kids your offspring what faith or ideology or lifestyle will they follow? Your partner will most probably want to raise them in non-sikh environment which will lead to clashes or you submitting to their will.

Edited by superkaur
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[quote name="superkaur" post="618457"

1) would the relationship have a future long term? parents accept it? community accept it?

2) Would almighty Waheguru accept your union? do you have love for your flawless creator stronger than his flawed human creation?

3 Kids your offspring what faith or ideology or lifestyle will they follow? Your partner will most probably want to raise them in non-sikh environment which will lead to clashes or you submitting to their will.

I'm just going to give answers based on assumptions.

1. It would most likely survive long-term, and the parents would most likely have to accept it: the community doesn't matter because the area they most likely live in has few Sikhs or Punjabis, rather it would be appeasing the white people.

2. Vaheguru would likely accept the union. (What this sounds like to any non-Sikh, "God won't bless your wedding, so go leave, we don't want you.")

3. I made a post on another topic on the fact that Atheism is on the rise. Also kids aren't stupid, they can think for themselves. Are these people stupid for leaving their parents faith? http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_converts_to_Sikhism_from_Christianity

Edited by SSD
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So i know that in sikhi we are meant to marry a sikh......

Apparently i am in love with this sikh guy and i saw him with his girlfriend and it has been burning me inside....how do i stop thinking of him....

He wears a pugh but cuts most of his dhari...i myself am very religiou and love being a sikh....

can someone copy and paste the translation from the guru granth sahib ji about sikh marry a sikh?

Thanks

"copy and paste the translation from the guru granth sahib ji about sikh marry a sikh"

Smh.

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"copy and paste the translation from the guru granth sahib ji about sikh marry a sikh"

Smh.

I just realized how that sounds, Guru Granth Sahib isn't something you copy or paste.
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No problem...that what sisters are for ...have a happy life

Thank you panjee..have a happy life too :)

You say you are very religious......then you say you love to be sikh...then you say he cuts lots of his dhari.....then you say you are in love with him.....then you say your heart beat gets fast looking at him...then you say he drinks a lot ....but you still like him...wow .....
bibaa g sorry to say its not a love ...its a LUST

Erm..i am vey religious that is true...but i fell in love looks like as my heart achs everytime i see him with his gori girlfriend, i don't know whether that is part of lust?? ...that is why i was wondering what i should do..how to get over it as i see his desk everyday at work and hardly see him.i know lust/liking is wrong in sikhi i feel guilty

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR COMMENTS..

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Thank you panjee..have a happy life too :)

Erm..i am vey religious that is true...but i fell in love looks like as my heart achs everytime i see him with his gori girlfriend, i don't know whether that is part of lust?? ...that is why i was wondering what i should do..how to get over it as i see his desk everyday at work and hardly see him.i know lust/liking is wrong in sikhi i feel guilty

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR COMMENTS..

Look it is an infatuation which has no place in your life because you are on a much better path , don't lose your way he should be seen as a test of your commitment to Guru ji . You cannot have both; try to understand, to follow the guy you lose this janam, are you willing to risk going through lakh churasi joon which takes MILLIONS of years to get back to this human birth just for that?

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Look it is an infatuation which has no place in your life because you are on a much better path , don't lose your way he should be seen as a test of your commitment to Guru ji . You cannot have both; try to understand, to follow the guy you lose this janam, are you willing to risk going through lakh churasi joon which takes MILLIONS of years to get back to this human birth just for that?

No i am not ready for that...but how do i stop feeling heatbroken inside whenever i see them and when other collegues talk about them....what can i do in this situation...i know he isint right for me and not much of a sikh from the inside..but what is the best way to forget about him panjee.. ??

when you say he should be seen as a test for my commitment to guru ji.. you mean waheguru will see my commitment and that i won't be with a wrong sikh guy??

Thanks

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No i am not ready for that...but how do i stop feeling heatbroken inside whenever i see them and when other collegues talk about them....what can i do in this situation...i know he isint right for me and not much of a sikh from the inside..but what is the best way to forget about him panjee.. ??

when you say he should be seen as a test for my commitment to guru ji.. you mean waheguru will see my commitment and that i won't be with a wrong sikh guy??

Thanks

you need to do ardas to Waheguru ji for strength to get past this test of your intent to Sikhi and listen to/read bani. It's not going to be easy and you will feel the hardship but it is miniscule, because the reward of Sikhi is a million times better than anything else on this Planet.Yes Waheguru knows your heart always, My best wishes are with you.

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No i am not ready for that...but how do i stop feeling heatbroken inside whenever i see them and when other collegues talk about them....what can i do in this situation...i know he isint right for me and not much of a sikh from the inside..but what is the best way to forget about him panjee.. ??

when you say he should be seen as a test for my commitment to guru ji.. you mean waheguru will see my commitment and that i won't be with a wrong sikh guy??

Thanks

Penji is right it is infatuation, a crush, lust. You don't know him apart from seeing him at work. You have to think he is not yours, which he is not. Tell ur heart to be strong, do ChaupAi Sahib ji path for strength. Jealousy, (irakha ) is taking over.

Think with ur head not ur heart. You can do it, don't give up every time ur heart feels that.

Waheguru is seeing your control and commitment. Yes that u won't be with wrong guy and also you are being vunerable and letting feelings emotions (bhavna) take over.

It's not ur fault you are young and at that age where u go through all these mixed emotions, and u have to show yourself you are strong and will not be led astray as people can take advantage of you also.

Put ur trust in God, every time you get those feelings think you are a human being and so much more to think about and do instead of thinking about a guy.

Have u tried doing Seva? If u put ur mind in other activities and talk to friends about other interests that will distract u from him.

The thing is penji you are spending a lot of time thinking about him and her and u need to get out of that. What u are doing now is idolising him. It may not sound nice to hear but u got to think about yourself dear. You have a job and see you are doing something with ur life, focus on ur work, it's not easy him being there, this is the test though, you can do this, u can make ur heart strong, u have nothing to lose.

Why worry over what isn't yours in the first place? Why do u feel like this? Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that's why u feel jealous, Gods showing you, giving u red flags so u don't hurt later on.

Don't worry and relax, you have to learn as u grow and u will do it.

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Penji is right it is infatuation, a crush, lust. You don't know him apart from seeing him at work. You have to think he is not yours, which he is not. Tell ur heart to be strong, do ChaupAi Sahib ji path for strength. Jealousy, (irakha ) is taking over.

Think with ur head not ur heart. You can do it, don't give up every time ur heart feels that.

Waheguru is seeing your control and commitment. Yes that u won't be with wrong guy and also you are being vunerable and letting feelings emotions (bhavna) take over.

It's not ur fault you are young and at that age where u go through all these mixed emotions, and u have to show yourself you are strong and will not be led astray as people can take advantage of you also.

Put ur trust in God, every time you get those feelings think you are a human being and so much more to think about and do instead of thinking about a guy.

Have u tried doing Seva? If u put ur mind in other activities and talk to friends about other interests that will distract u from him.

The thing is penji you are spending a lot of time thinking about him and her and u need to get out of that. What u are doing now is idolising him. It may not sound nice to hear but u got to think about yourself dear. You have a job and see you are doing something with ur life, focus on ur work, it's not easy him being there, this is the test though, you can do this, u can make ur heart strong, u have nothing to lose.

Why worry over what isn't yours in the first place? Why do u feel like this? Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that's why u feel jealous, Gods showing you, giving u red flags so u don't hurt later on.

Don't worry and relax, you have to learn as u grow and u will do it.

Hello panjee..thank you for your comment...i do seva when i go to the gurudwara like wash the pande..it makes me feel better about myself and that i have done a good thing...i am 22..so pretty young for all that..i will do my best to forget him now....thanks for your comment.. bless :)

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