Under The Spell Of Addiction

[Guest Guest]

My Addiction took over and destroyed every part of my life.

I was just any ordinary young Sikh guy that wanted to do so much in life. But I also just wanted the simple things that most take for granted. Ie going to college, friendships a job ect. You would think it would be easy to get the above and most people have the above without batting an eye lid.

But when you are under the spell of an addiction you cannot form any relationships with people. You cannot connect with anyone. As your mind, body and soul only longs for the addictive substance and nothing else. Everything else did not matter to me. The important things in life are put to one side. And my mind was totally focused on the addiction. As with all addictions you need more and more to achieve the same high. my body and mind become weakened and I became drawn. I was unable to be with people and hence my downward spiral continued.

As when you’re in the midst of an addiction you cannot form and meaningful relationships.

Over the years the problem just got worse and worse. The addiction took hold and tore away every ounce of my soul until nothing was left inside except emptiness, loneliness I may even add depression to that list. I could not concentrate, had no ambition and no motivation to do anything. I was unable to love or be in a loving relationship as my only love was the addiction that was causing me so much pain. The addiction had put me in a trance that I would be only able to come out of once I stopped. But how could I? The addiction was so strong and compelling.

I was all by myself stuck inside a body that could not do anything. I could not function I became someone else and lost everything good that was once inside me.As with all people who are under the wicked spell of an addiction I became vulnerable and weak and people would take advantage as I was so weak.

Why didn’t I seek help for my addiction??? I hear you say there are many places that give advice about drugs and alcohol. I surely could have sought help to get rid of this evil addiction that took over my life for over 15 years??

Well my addiction although like all addictions has the same functions in the brain Ie dopamine neurotransmitters. And the same basic reward centers involved. As drug and alcohol addiction.I was addicted to self-sexual gratification and was not even aware I was addicted to anything. As I had been doing this. It just became part of my routine. There is no advice about sexual addictions whosever and many people are reluctant to talk about this subject . Hence Why I continued being in the addiction for so long.

While I was under this addiction it was like living on hell on earth I cannot describe the amount of pain I went through. Many people would comment that why am I so withdrawn and quiet. And I would not have an answer I guess I just presumed that was my personality. I did not want to go out with friends I just wanted to be at home and immerse myself in my addiction. I had no pleasure in meeting people I did not want to talk to people. I did not want to laugh and joke. I had no motivation, could not concentrate and lost all my friends as I dropped out of college I lost all my confidence. I could not hack life. My only pleasure was being in my house and on my own. When one is under the addictive spell all pleasure from the above is taken away. Hence you will find most addicts on their own like me incapable of being with other people. What’s worse is many people understand alcohol and drug addicts and they are given much help and knowledge about their addiction and how to stop. In my case as there is virtually no help or awareness about sexual addiction people like myself would just continue in their self-destruction. And many will not even though that they under and addiction until they research it.

I just wished there was information I could have accessed at the time that would have informed me of the above and I would have sought help to come out of my addiction. But due to the taboo subject no one wants to talk about it and there is not much research on the issue of sexual addiction. After Going to my urologist I was told that I had a degree of phimosis of my forskin. Which means the foreskin is unretractable. He said this is a cause of sexual addiction in some as the glans becomes more sensitive to sexual pleasure in this condition.

The hell of sexual addiction is something I would not wish on anyone and I just wish there was more awareness about this problem so people can come out of it and seek help. Many people are not even aware it exists or they don’t see it as an addiction like alcohol or drug abuse. But this drug for me was more powerful then drugs or alcohol as Ive tried them both. With all the addictions the primary reason for taking is escapism. Ie to help deal with problems in your life. But these are just short pleasures that will devastate ruin your life in the long run.

When I came out of the addiction I was over the moon as I could start getting back to my life and enjoying it. I became much happier and sociable person. I no longer wanted to be on my own. I had got my soul back.

[luckysingh99]

Are you sure you want to be posting on a Sikh forum ?

[Guest guest*****]

Such addictions need to be monitored on a daily routine. Many set themselves up for failure by setting long term goals (a whole week, month, etc). This addiction is not easy to get over and many are not ready to admit they have it. Whether with a partner or on your own, it is an addiction. Take the simple steps of changing your daily routine and read Gurbani in the morning, during lunch, in the evening and before going to sleep. Do not sit by yourself in isolated rooms that you feel comfortable in. At all odds avoid them and if they are not avoidable, make sure you get out as soon as possible. Visible aids contribute drastically to activating the feeling. Simply avoid tv shows, movies, etc that speak and show promiscuous behaviour and people. Instead of wasting time in these environments go to the local Gurdwara and get involved in anything.

[Guest need_suggestion]

I can hear you brother. I am facing the same problem and its hard to let go. The main reason is that I live alone by myself, and the fap has to happen atleast once in a day. Have been doing this since I was a kid (from 12 i believe, I am 25 now). I know this hits us bad but I am addicted.

Hoe did you let it go ?