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Hello everyone,

so let me explain what is going on. I am a keshdari Sikh guy in University. I work out, have friends from every race/religion, I consider myself to be a social and fit guy who also holds Guru Jis teachings very strongly in his heart and I absolutely love Sikhi. Now, I've always had a bunch of female friends, talking to girls has never been a problem for me. Throughout High School, and at the beginning of Uni, I always wanted to start a relationship with a Punjabi girl. Most were friendly with me, but wouldn't go out with me. The few that did always ended it after a few dates, because they wanted short haired guys.

Of course it was disappointing, but I never once considered cutting my hair. If a girl didn't respect my hair, she wasn't worth my time, that was my train of thought. Looking back at it now, I can't believe I asked most of them out either, they may have been Punjabi, but they didn't have an ounce of Sikhi or Sikhi knowledge in their bodies, I wouldn't look twice at girls like that today.

So despite my experiences, I still maintained hope that I would end up with a Punjabi SIKH girl one day, I didn't pay much attention to girls who were not Punjabi/from Sikh backgrounds (although now that I reflect, most of the non-Punjabi girls I knew were a lot nicer, and I could have dated a lot of them, plus they didn't mind the turban/beard).

I live in an area with a very small ethnic population, so since Uni started, it has been harder for me to meet Punjabi girls. Last month, something unexpected happened to me. One of the white girls I have a class with, that I met at the beginning of the semester, asked me out. She is really smart, funny, we clicked the first day we met, plus she is extremely mature for her age, not the kind of girl who drinks or does drugs or goes clubbing and comes back at 3 am. Dare I say it, she acts more "Sikh" than almost all the Punjabi girls I've known throughout my life.

Anyways, so she asked me to go see a movie with her, and I said yes. It was a lot of fun and we've been out twice since then, and are going out again this weekend. She's pretty much everything I ever wanted in a girl: mature, does well in school, good morals and actually likes me for my beard and turban. She's been asking me about Sikhi since the beginning of the semester, when we first met (before we started dating), and she has a TON of respect for it, seriously I see her eyes light up when I tell her about Guru Arjan Dev Ji and Guru Tegh Bahadur Jis Shaheedis, the epic story of Vaisakhi 1699, the bravery of Mai Bhago leading an army of men into battle against an enemy of thousands, the sacrifice of Bhai Mani Singh and everything else that is our awesome history. She has been begging me to take her to Gurdwara, and like I said I live in an area with a few Sikhs, but the Gurdwara will be celebrating Miri Piri so that is when I will take her.

My question is, am I doing something wrong? I really couldn't ever see myself with a non-Punjabi girl, and this one isn't even from a Sikh background. I feel kind of hypocritical because one of my friends started dating a Muslim girl a few months ago, I was telling him he should stick to Sikh girls, so I feel a bit of guilt about this. On the flip side, she has wonderful morals and seems to really be interested in Sikhi. She has complete respect for the turban and beard and actually regards Guru Gobind Singh Ji as some sort of super hero lol.

So do I keep dating her and see what happens? Or would it be best if we part ways now, since I don't know how my parents will react (I've kind been doing it in secret).

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Make 2 parchian - yes and no.....go to Gurdwara, do ardas from heart if she's the one for you....and have some kid pick one for you.

But do this only if you are strong enough to follow Guru sahib's hukum.

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No you are not doing wrong Sikhi is not only for us, she sounds like a good person and if she respects / accepts sikhi then thats a good thing, i know what you mean about punjabi/indian girls, at the end of the day it is your decision. Good luck.

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I watched Jatt and Juliet part 2 last night, and for some reason the moment I saw the title "Dating A White Girl" I remembered the part where the poor gora tries to impress Neeru Bajwa's mom with his "Panjabi".

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Guest gg93

hey its great you going to have beautiful gorre children , all the best! nothing wrong with jt, although honestly I would never think bad about a guy with beard, having dated few outsiders I can assure you that a Punjabi girl actually loves the beard and singh

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Sorry, but this is clearly NOT the way to proceed as a Sikh of the Guru. :nono:

Why? I have heard of many enlightened Gursikhs asking important questions before Guru Ji in this way. Didn't Bhai Mani Singh Ji use this method to decide whether to follow Guru Granth Sahib or Banda Singh Bahadur?

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First off a Sikh of the guru is not allowed to date.

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I don't think what you are doing is wrong. I will tell that not Punjabi girls will be good and not all white girls will be bad.

Most important thing is moral character. If she is good that way, respects you for your identity, then all's well. Mind it, she probably likes you for who you are( that is you stand by certain ideal and values, and that includes your beard and turban). Many girls want to be with somebody who has these qualities.

I wont go to the point where you would have premarital sexual relationship though.

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Guest Ek_Sikh

I would tell you to go for it dude. Like the above poster said, not all Punjabi girls are good, and not every white girl is bad. There is good and bad in every race/religion.

But even I will echo your statements about being a keshdari and trying to date Punjabi girls. Most of them won't even look at you, let alone go out with you. Unless they are keshdari themselves, they usually want nothing to do with keshdari guys. The exception are those girls that are knowledgable on Sikh philosophy and Sikh history, those girls are usually class and worth dating, but most non-keshdari Punjabi girls have very little knowledge on Sikhi so would't consider a guy who keeps his hair, and to that I say good riddance, to be honest I don't care how good looking girl is, the most unattractive thing in the world to me is a chick who disregards Guru Jis teachings, I would advise you that in the future, if things don't work out with this girl, don't waste your time on Punjabi girls who do not know their Sikhi, time is money my friend, looks fade but real character, morals and love of Sikhi is forever.

Other than that, this girl you're with now sounds really nice. I see lots of keshdari guys going out with white girls myself, it's funny to me that even Hindu and Muslim girls give the kesh more respect than a lot of so called 'Sikh" girls do, I have known keshdari guys who have dated/married Hindu and Muslim girls as well. It's nice to see that keshdari guys are finally starting to look past Punjabi girls and realize that there are girls from other races/religions who will give them more respect than girls from their own.

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Why? I have heard of many enlightened Gursikhs asking important questions before Guru Ji in this way. Didn't Bhai Mani Singh Ji use this method to decide whether to follow Guru Granth Sahib or Banda Singh Bahadur?

Really ??

Whenever, I hear some gursikh mention this, then I'm not always too sure if they are enlightened or not.

As far as I understand, someone who is enlightened relies totally on divine intuition and their ego would not be in the way of making such choices difficult.

Ego- is what creates this uncertainty of what should be in the best of our interests !

Anyway, this is my understanding for my current level of spirituality !! :biggrin2:

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