Jump to content

Struggling with makeup/ jewellery


Guest wanderingsoul
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest wanderingsoul

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

This will sound quite petty to most people but I'm sure some kaurs can relate. I'm nineteen years old, I took amrit when I was fourteen and I tie a dastar and have always been strict with my rehat. However, I've begun to struggle. While I still religiously get up to do my nitnem and am strict on what I consume, what music I listen to etc., I'm struggling with bana. I love my dastar, but I'm falling back into my old ways of wanting to wear quirky jewellery and accessories and nail polish. I'm an artist so I am heavily pulled towards self expression, and the people I spend time with encourage me to do this, and I can't stop spending time with them because I'm at uni with them. This sounds petty, but for those of you who have been strict with your rehit and bana, you'll understand how desperately I want to keep my rehat, but I also want to express myself outwardly, not just as a sikh, but as myself, unique. I would very much appreciate any ideas, words of wisdom or little faith boosting comments from any sisters. Sorry if this sounds petty, but I want to feel expressive, unique, happy and free without giving up my rehat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am not amritdhari so can't comment on the makeup side. But i would like to say me being non amritdhari hate wearing makeup, not as i dont have the energy no more, just hate wearing it. All the fakeness to mix in with others i did let alone the skin problems over time.

I feel now less is beautiful, the more simple a girl looks is better and more expressive, rather than the bright colours like a clown and develop how heavy the jewellry is. Amritdhari girls look nice simple. Dont get me wrong but it dont look right being dolled up, beauty is within not on top. You seem to be going thru group pressure, but the decision is yours, what do you want?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest wanderingsoul

I don't want to cake my face in horrible chemicals that are bad for my skin. I like my face. I don't want to hide it. I hate the sticky feeling. It's not even used to enhance your features, it's used to cover them up.

My issue is more with nail polish and jewellery. It's got to the stage wherw I'm looking at every girl and woman andnoticing her nails. I feel almost untidy and unkempt by not wearing nail polish. I feel insecure. I've never felt like that before. Ultimately I want to be happy, but I feel like it's a lose lose situation. If I do it, I lose a part of me, my rehat and what I've always loved. I lose part of my identity. But if I don't do it, I'm not expressing a part of my identity. I need someone to put my mind at rest somehow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest wanderingsoul

The more simple a girl looks is better and more expressive. Such a beautiful thought. That's what I need.

I was so embarrassed to admit such a seemingly tiny issue that I have. But it has damaged my self esteem and made me lose myself. One tiny doubt leads on to many many others.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Three

Gurfateh bhenji,

I completely understand. I felt and sometimes still do feel the same.

Do you wear bana full time or just a dastaar? I wear a dastaar but I don't wear makeup, jewellery or nail varnish as per the hukam of my panj pyaareh. I would say find a way to express yourself in another way, rather than turning to makeup or jewellery.

I'm a very girly girl so I tend to wear more dresses etc although in a 100% modest way. Also, with regards to makeup and stuff we all know it's a complete no go if you're amritdhari. But I'm massively into skincare and kind of appease myself in that way by taking really good care of my skin.

I'm also really into bags which sounds like such a typical bimbo girly thing but I can't help it..so I collect bags. :blush2:

I think you just have to find a way to be creative without going against what your panj have told you..that's what I've tried to do and I feel happy but at the same time I haven't compromised my rehat.

Sometimes I do feel like I'm still being a hypocrite because I'm still concentrating massively on my appearance but I can't help it. And I haven't done anything against what I was told in my amrit sanchaar so I just tell myself it's ok. Whether or not I'm doing wrong is up to Waheguru ji to decide in the end, I suppose.

Hope this was somewhat helpful!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest wanderingsoul

I actually do wear bana a lot penji, not full time, but a lot. And obviously, I find the idea of wearing nail polish with bana disgraceful. It's not gurmat, we all know that, and it looks so wrong. I have this issue when I don't wear bana. I'm so comfortable in bana, I wish I could wear it full time with just a variety of cardigans or jackets or shawls lol. I'd even be okay with just one plain simple pair of shoes.

I like my scarves and bags too. Not so much into shoes though. Surprisingly, I don't care much about dresses either. I don't care about fashion or what other people wear, I only care about methods of expression. I customise everything I own to make it more 'me'. I don't dress fashionably, I dress 'me'. I wear a lot of blue, and actually I often dress in quite a masculine manner because it just feels comfortable. I feminise it with a scarf. I don't wear tight clothes or fancy clothes. Even my wedding suits are very simple.

Reading your post has helped me a bit. My problem makes less sense to me now. Why is it just nail polish? Even jewellery I can get over, it's just nail polish that has me caught. I just really want to make little pieces of artwork out of my nails. Now when I see my nails bare I feel like I'm not grooming myself properly. I know that's down to social pressure, but it's really got me in a hole.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You said that you're an artist, so, isn't art one of the BEST ways to express yourself?

I guess nail polish and jewelry are types of art in their own ways as well.

Art involves a lot of colours and playfulness. Holi / Holla Mohalla is coming up, so how about this from Bhai Nand Lal Jee :smile2:


ਗੁਲੇ ਹੋਲੀ ਬਬਾਗ਼ੇ ਦਹਰ ਬੂ ਕਰਦ ॥ ਲਬੇ ਚੂੰ ਗ਼ੁੰਚਹ ਰਾ ਫਰਖੰਦਹ ਖ਼ੂ ਕਰਦ ॥
The (festival of) Holy blossoms and spreads its fragrance, And it blooms the sprout of her beautiful lips.(1)

ਗੁਲਾਬੋ ਅੰਬਰੋ ਮੁਸ਼ਕੋ ਅਬੀਰੋ ॥ ਚੁ ਬਾਰਾਂ ਬਾਰਸ਼ੇ ਅਜ਼ ਸੂ ਬਸੂ ਕਰਦ ॥
The rose, the amber, the jasmine and the reddish abeer, All are showered like the rain on all the sides.(2)

ਜ਼ਹੇ ਪਿਚਕਾਰੀਏ ਪੁਰ ਜ਼ਾਫ਼ਰਾਨੀ ॥ ਕਿ ਹਰ ਬੇਰੰਗ ਰਾ ਖ਼ੁਸ਼ ਰੰਗੋ ਬੂ ਕਰਦ ॥
How to talk of the sprinkling of saffron? It is endowing hue and fragrance to every dull being.(3)

ਗੁਲਾਲ ਅਫ਼ਸ਼ਾਨੀ ਅਜ਼ ਦਮਤੇ ਮੁਬਾਰਕ ॥ ਜ਼ਮੀਨੋ ਆਸਮਾਂ ਰਾ ਸੁਰਖਰੂ ਕਰਦ ॥
The scattering of the pigment by her auspicious hands, Is dyeing both the heaven and the earth.(4)

ਦੁ ਆਲਮ ਗਸ਼ਤ ਰੰਗੀ ਅਜ਼ ਤੁਫ਼ਲਸ਼ ॥ ਚੁ ਸ਼ਾਹਮ ਜਾਮਹ ਰੰਗੀ ਦਰ ਗੁਲੂ ਕਰਦ ॥
Through her benevolence, both the domains have become colourful, And she has adorned me like kings with the gorgeous attire.(5)

ਕਸੇ ਕੋ ਦੀਦ ਦੀਦਾਰੇ ਮੁਕੱਦਸ ॥ ਮੁਰਾਏ ਉਮਰ ਰਾ ਹਾਸਿਲ ਨਿਕੋ ਕਰਦ ॥
Whosoever has her propitious glimpse, Attains the bliss of both the worlds.(6)

ਸ਼ਬਦ ਕੁਰਬਾਨਿ ਖ਼ਾਕੇ ਰਾਹੇ ਸੰਗਤ ॥ ਦਿਲੇ ਗੋਯਾ ਹਮੀਂ ਬਸ ਆਰਜ਼ੂ ਕਰਦ ॥
I should sacrifice myself for the dust of the avenues of the congregation, That is the utmost desire of Goya.(7)(33)

Bhai Nand Lal Goya, Ghazal, 33
ਭਾਈ ਨੰਦ ਲਾਲ ਗੋਯਾ, ਗਜਲਾਂ 33


Translation taken from Pritpal Singh Bhindra's 'Kaleem-e-Goya', a full translation of Bhai Nand Lal Goya's Ghazals into English

Also conteplate upon this Shabad. When you realize and experience the Rang of Naam and Gur-Shabad, then you won't look at any other accessories or colours, etc.

<> siqgur pRswid ]

bsMqu mhlw 5 Gru 1 duquky
guru syvau kir nmskwr ]
Awju hmwrY mMglcwr ]
Awju hmwrY mhw Anµd ]
icMq lQI Byty goibMd ]1]
Awju hmwrY igRih bsMq ]
gun gwey pRB qum@ byAMq ]1] rhwau ]
Awju hmwrY bny Pwg ]
pRB sMgI imil Kyln lwg ]
holI kInI sMq syv ]
rMgu lwgw Aiq lwl dyv ]2]
mnu qnu mauilE Aiq AnUp ]
sUkY nwhI Cwv DUp ]
sglI rUqI hirAw hoie ]
sd bsMq gur imly dyv ]3]
ibrKu jimE hY pwrjwq ]
PUl lgy Pl rqn BWiq ]
iqRpiq AGwny hir guxh gwie ]
jn nwnk hir hir hir iDAwie ]4]1]

Basant, Fifth Mehla, First House, Du-Tukay:
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:
I serve the Guru, and humbly bow to Him.
Today is a day of celebration for me.
Today I am in supreme bliss.
My anxiety is dispelled, and I have met the Lord of the Universe. ||1||
Today, it is springtime in my household.
I sing Your Glorious Praises, O Infinite Lord God. ||1||Pause||
Today, I am celebrating the festival of Phalgun.
Joining with God's companions, I have begun to play.
I celebrate the festival of Holi by serving the Saints.
I am imbued with the deep crimson color of the Lord's Divine Love. ||2||
My mind and body have blossomed forth, in utter, incomparable beauty.
They do not dry out in either sunshine or shade;
they flourish in all seasons.
It is always springtime, when I meet with the Divine Guru. ||3||
The wish-fulfilling Elysian Tree has sprouted and grown.
It bears flowers and fruits, jewels of all sorts.
I am satisfied and fulfilled, singing the Glorious Praises of the Lord.
Servant Nanak meditates on the Lord, Har, Har, Har. ||4||1||

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest wanderingsoul

I love bana because with bana I feel like I'm expressing myself through my words, my kirtan styles, my artwork, maybe my bags and cardis and jackets a little bit lol, byt not so much, expressing myself through my dastar... and I know I'm not being judged for what I'm wearing. With western clothes, I feel like I'm missing a vital part of my attire by not doing my nails or accessorising.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Three

I don't want to cake my face in horrible chemicals that are bad for my skin. I like my face. I don't want to hide it. I hate the sticky feeling. It's not even used to enhance your features, it's used to cover them up.

My issue is more with nail polish and jewellery. It's got to the stage wherw I'm looking at every girl and woman andnoticing her nails. I feel almost untidy and unkempt by not wearing nail polish. I feel insecure. I've never felt like that before. Ultimately I want to be happy, but I feel like it's a lose lose situation. If I do it, I lose a part of me, my rehat and what I've always loved. I lose part of my identity. But if I don't do it, I'm not expressing a part of my identity. I need someone to put my mind at rest somehow.

Okay, with regards to nails..I don't wear nail varnish but I do file my nails and make sure that they look tidy. That could be an option? You can have nice looking nails without wearing nail varnish bhenj.

I feel so bad by focusing on appearance when I know I should just be saying "don't worry, forget it all" but I know from personal experience that it isn't that easy. The feeling always comes back unfortunately.

Generally, I think jewellery looks really cheap and tacky..and very rarely adds anything to an outfit. Simplicity is honestly so much more beautiful. A simple and clean appearance is more of a classy look and also in line with Gurmat..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:)

If u r dastar saji kudi....then u should know that u are equAl ri men n men do not apply nail polish n makeup....

But being a girl I can understand what u talking about.... It happens...I use to b very modern kind off...use to do all wax n stylo kind....

But I left it after I took amrit but lil bit of makeup like lipgloss n all is fine.....

N jewelry...well u can wear necklace if u want that will not get highlighted.....

Wearing big ear rings will be highlighted n with dastar it wont look good......

This kind of feeling is nothing to do with breaking of rehet....but this is excessive way looks bad...,.

I think u r young :) ....

U talk about being artist...even I m a good painter I painted Guru Gobind Singh g.....long back...n he was like having nice pagg with kalgi....

With smart clothes...with pearl types on neck...with nice jutti....awsm kirpan... Ekdum tip top

Be like smart sikhs yaar....even our dad will feel good if his khalse would be uptodate ekdum :)

But dont go excessive blunders which modern girls do....n look like witches...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
    • Good way of putting it, bro. One of the ongoing themes of Gurbani is the fake saint. Whether it's fake babas in Punjab or English-speaking personalities in the West, it's an continuing problem of religion through the centuries (and it's not exclusive to us by any means, this applies to all human societies).
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use