getting harassed at school

[vikrampreet]

Hello, I'm Vik. I'm 15. I'm the only Sikh kid at my high school (we live in the US) and I'm getting harassed all the time. People think my turban is a toy. They pull on it and try to take it off me. They call me a terrorist because they think somebody in a turban is moslem. Sometimes I just want to take it off and cut my hair and live like everyone else. I am devoted to my faith but I'm tired of getting picked on and hair so long that it's below my knees is a real pain to take care of. My beard is growing out and takes a lot of work too. I'm just tired of this. Any advice? Thanks for your understanding, Vikrampreet Singh.

[californiasardar1]

Hello Vikrampreet,

I really feel for you, and I know it is difficult to deal with what you are going through. I also grew up in America and I was always the only Sikh in my school.

I was always outnumbered, and physically challenging everyone who had something to say to me would have been unrealistic and unwise. I also declined to notify school authorities, since that would only seem to lead to further marginalization among my peers. However, I only dealt with verbal abuse. Nobody ever tried to pull off my patka or anything. If you are dealing with serious physical treats, you should probably let the teachers and counselors at the school know what is going on.

My approach was to just ignore people when they said stupid things. I realize it is not always easy to do this, but it seemed like the best option to me. What made it a lot easier was having a group of friends who were not ignorant and who respected my religious beliefs. If you can find a good group of friends, you'll feel better about yourself. Also, the idiots who tease you will be less likely to say anything to you if you are always with other people. I am not sure what kinds of courses you are enrolled in, but I generally found that kids who took honors or advanced placement courses were more respectful of people who looked different.

Where in America do you live?

If you live near a community of other Sikhs, making friends with other young Sikhs your age (even if they don't go to your high school) is worth trying. Having a place to go and people to hang out with can make a big difference.

[papidas]

Vaheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh ||

Try switching schools. Also, if you have friends that you went to school with in elementary or middle school, going to the same school as them can help as they will be more accepting and understanding. Don't give up your Sikhi, PLEASE. There are many stories of Gursikhs who stood to abuse and are now well respected in the entire Sikh community. Read Bhai Manvir Singh Jee UK's blog (manvirsingh.blogspot.ca). In on of the older articles, he posts how he stopped bullying and racism against Sikhs in his small town. Let alone the only Amritdhari in his school, he was the only Amritdhari in his town! Daas will try to post some stories in the next few days to help inspire you to overcome these difficulties. Most importantly, do Ardaas and remember the Puratan Gursikhs who went through Akhai te Asaih Kast (unbearable pain and torture) but remained true to the Dharam. Read books like Rangle Sajjan (English and Punjabi version), and Jail Chittian (Punjabi)/The Autobiography of Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh (English), or Sat Aukhian Ratan (Punjabi only as far as daas knows. If there is an English version and anothrt Gurmukhi Premi knows about it please let the Sangat know Here is the link to Sat Aukhian Ratan (Punjabi) https://dl.dropbox.com/sh/id7crkcslzi3e0p/uXa6j2EvDY/Bhai%20Vir%20Singh-Books-English-Punjabi/Bhai_Vir_Singh_Punjabi/Sat%20Aukhian%20Ratan-Bhai%20Vir%20Singh%20Punjabi.pdf?token_hash=AAFa_37W58ih37derazhyhYUtrTsX1pZaBTmMnnnZQXbaQ&dl=1. Apologies for the mistakes and any wrong formatting. daas is using an iPod Touch to post this.

Bhul Chuk Muaaf

[jpsingh2]

Dont know why this works but if someone calls you 'Bin-Laden' Just say loudly as possible 'Krishna'!

Trust me it works 100% of the time. The kids will then want to be your friend. Some logic could be that Sikhism could not be defined as either a Muslim religion or a Hindo Region but if you say both sides than it gets closer to what the picture really is!

Second advice is wear a dumala or atleast one small parna underneath the big paag one and that way it wont fall off and if it does theres another one underneath and plus its much more comfortable. I went snowboarding with this two paag type of turban and nothing happend to it.

Good Luck! Sat Shri Akal~! WJKK WJKFFFFFa

[taran0]

This won’t stop happening unless you get together with others and do
something about it -

This is what you need to do

- Start recording all the incidents in a diary - if possible names of people
etc this will give you a powerful tool as you can say for example - in the last
3 months I was racially abused ?? times

• Keep informing the teachers or relevant student school liason officer ofthe situation and how it is affecting you mentally, it is their responsibilityto ensure all students can study in a fair and non-abusive environment
• you need to tell the Sikh community around you what is going on, make themaware at the Gurdwara to the committee to the parents you need to make them wake up and do something and approach the school if possible as a community with their concerns - This is a powerful mechanism as when organisations are approched by a comunity its makes it into a bigger problem for them.
• you need to start writing some articles about what is happening and make people aware approach local newspaper or school newspaper - you will be suprised how makign people aware will brign together others liek you who are sufferign the same or other people who are sympathetic and will try to help.
• maybe form an an anti bullying or anti racist group in your school
• Maybe use this as an opportunity to convince your school that there is a need for edcuation and awareness of other cultures and they might allow some sikhi awareness seminars or lectures to teach what Sikhs are.
• Photos of Sikhs in the second world war always works to show people how we were valuable allies to the western forces - maybe including your history and being proud of it in your projects is another way

The school will only do something if its going to affect their image, so its time to stand up stop being a victim and fight back in a positive and chardi klaa way. You need to rally support from whichever place you can, there must be some bullying policies or access to support you can tap into.

It's kalyug our ancestors fought and died for their sikhi saroop, you need to learn from them....

As sikhs we accept every situation as pana of vaheguru so this is your chance, to become stronger, see it as an opportunity to do some good, and maybe help some other people who are being discriminated against in your school aswell

if you were in the Uk we have the Sikh Helpline -

[Mehtab Singh]

Vikram, since you're in US, contact Sikh Coalition or United Sikhs immediately. They will help you out more than anyone else.

[TheFancyBanana]

I'd say do an assembly and tell people about whats happening. Tell them all the things Sikhs have done and how we aren't muslims.

[HSD2]

I'd say do an assembly and tell people about whats happening. Tell them all the things Sikhs have done and how we aren't muslims.

Most bullies dont care unless they face punishment or repercussions for their actions.

[Singh97]

I live in Canada and I'm also 15, trust me giving up your Sikhi isn't worth it. I grew up in a city where there are barely any Sikhs, I've been the only Sikh in my school since kindergarden. People have picked on me and harassed me, there were times where I did feel like cutting my hair was the only option. A lot of people aren't going to stop picking on you until they're punished but some of them will stop if you just educate them.

I want you to ask yourself this, who's picking on you the most? A lot of people follow the most popular kid in high school where I live, so there's a chance that everyone just does what that one person does. If that's the case you should avoid that person and maybe even talk to a teacher about him. If that's not what's happening then I would suggest only hanging out with your really close friends.

There're a lot of groups in America like Sikh Coalition that could help you out.

And you can also always contact me, I'm the same age as you and I'm in the same situation.

-Simran Preet Singh

[lsingh]

Maybe some of the Sikh organisations in the USA could go to the school and do a talk about Sikhism. This is worth doing at all schools where there area issues. The Sikh children will feel they have support and the teachers and pupils will get an understanding of Sikhs. In fact we do not need organisations to arrange talks , there are plenty of doctors, IT, finance guys in the USA that could get together and do a talk locally..