Losing belief in Waheguru - don't know what to do?

[Guest Confused]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I was hoping I could receive some help for a problem I've been having for a while now..

I was fortunate enough to take Amrit a couple of months ago and I had been wanting to for a year or so. However since a couple of weeks, everytime I try to do Simran or read Gurbani, my mann keeps coming up with things like "Does God even exist?" "Why am I doing this?" and it's gotten really bad.

At first I ignored it, then it got worse, I tried to explain using the science argument but it still kept talking.

Then I explained that everything about Sikhi proves it. Then it kept saying "What if none of that is real?" which is pretty dumb because you can't make up centuries worth of history. Then I tried to find out about the sources of Sikh history, and I came across something saying that the Janam Sakhi by Bhai Bala ji, which is referred to a lot, wasn't written by them because of the language used and now I'm confused about all the sources even though there are loads more sources which haven't been questioned.#

It's not just that, even when I don't think so deeply, everytime I listen to kirtan, katha, etc my mann keeps questioning everything. I feel really bad because taking Amrit is supposed to take me closer to Waheguru but I've clearly made it worse.

I don't understand why this is happening. If it's a punishment, what is it for, will it ever stop? If it's a test, have I failed? Is it a direct result of my ego (and other vikaars) - if so how do I get it to stop?

I've tried doing Ardaas but it still won't go, which is another reason why I keep questioning Waheguru's existence, and I know that unless you do it with strong belief it's unlikely that you'll get what you're asking for.

I really don't know what to do, will I ever regain my belief? And how?

Also, I feel like this is bedbi to taking Amrit so maybe i need to take it again? Although of course I need to regain my belief first, which I don't know how to do, please help.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[Guest liesdamnlies]

hey buddy i know what are you feeling.I don't believe in god myself,for you i only have one thing before you believe in god be 100% sure because even if i am wrong about the existance of god i will get the second chance but if i am right you will second chance to live this life again.

[savinderpalsingh]

waheguru ji maybe he is testing you ?

[osingh]

Veer "Confused" jee, remember you are not the only one going through this struggle.

The Mann is very stubborn, unstable and hard like a rock. The Mann will resist when we try and meet our Preetam Pyara. One of the keys in bringing the mind under control and increasing our faith in AkalPurakh is through pyaar (love). We must engage in "prema bhagti" - do bhagti (naam simran, paath) with pyaar.

Actually struggling with our Mann is a good sign, it shows that we are walking on our path to meet Gobind. When we walk the path that is sharper than a sword and narrower than a strand of hair it is normal to encounter difficulties and our faith will be put under pressure. When we face difficulties it is important that we still maintain Rehit (amritvela, nitnem banis) this way we can stay under the sharan (protection) of AkalPurakh.

We must engage in abhiyaas of Gurbani and do vichaar of Gurbani. If we meke effort to understand (i.e. understanding difficult words, reading arths, teekas) Gurbani this will increase our understanding and bring us closer to Parmeshar. The more we engage in Gurmat karams - seva, simran, paath, gurbani vichaar the more our rock like Mann will soften and come under control. Remember this is not 100m sprint but a marathon. There are ups and downs in this path of bhagti, sometimes are faith increases and sometimes our mind becomes stubborn and faithless. It is imperative that we do not falter in Rehit and just keep on doing abhiyaas of Gurbani and Naam. This phase of "losing belief" will definitely pass, like the night turns into day.

It is the saints who have unfaltering faith in Parmeshar. However these Gurmukhs are rare jewels who have done immense kamaee of Gurbani and Naam.

If we maintain our Rehit and Bhagti throughout these "struggles" our faith in AkalPurakh will be stronger than before.

Only those struggle who walk the path, those that never walk the path may not face the struggles but they can never know or experience the bliss of the bhagats.

Satguru Mehar Karan.

Bhul Chuk Maaf jee.

[Guest Confused]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Thank you for your comments,

@ liesdamnlies - I understand your viewpoint, but it is not easy to get this human life, and assuming God doesn't exist, neither would the afterlife so there would be no time to "regret" trying to find God, right?

@savinderpalsingh possibly veerji I can only do Ardaas that Mahraaj brings me out of this test in one piece

@osingh that makes a lot of sense, thank you veerji (by the way I'm a girl, not that it matters, but still )

I have a benti, could you guys do Ardaas for me?

I'd also like to add, a while before I had this issue, I ate something I shouldn't have (by accident), but I did Ardaas for forgiveness, is that enough?

Thanks for all your help

[Gurpreet14]

This happens with every individual of this universe... everyone once in life question the existence of GOD... I think even animals might be questioning the same but unfortunately they cant speak

Being Amritdhari.. if u want to keep ur belief warm - Do it for Guru Gobind singh g..... rather then Akal Purakh....

If u will follow Guru - Then Guru will make u follow GOD

N its easy to follow Guru Gobind Singh g as every sikh knows - What he did for his sikhs,,,, n what he is for his sikhs :respect:

Being amritdhari .... my heart cries for my father's suffering rather then the creator of this universe............ :respect:

[GurujisDaughter]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Thank you for your comments,

@ liesdamnlies - I understand your viewpoint, but it is not easy to get this human life, and assuming God doesn't exist, neither would the afterlife so there would be no time to "regret" trying to find God, right?

@savinderpalsingh possibly veerji I can only do Ardaas that Mahraaj brings me out of this test in one piece

@osingh that makes a lot of sense, thank you veerji (by the way I'm a girl, not that it matters, but still )

I have a benti, could you guys do Ardaas for me?

I'd also like to add, a while before I had this issue, I ate something I shouldn't have (by accident), but I did Ardaas for forgiveness, is that enough?

Thanks for all your help

Can I know what you ate? I mean if it was something related to Kurehet, then it is very important to solve. Even if it is by mistake, if it is one of Kurehet, it is important to go to the Panj Peyare and remember Guru Sahib always forgives us. Maybe that is why you are feeling this way because of this.

My fellow sister , I would suggest you to do more and more and MORE Naam Simran becuse that is the what will help you! Veerji made a very good point about mann - remember mann is like our biggest dushman because it just dosnt listen to us! Gurbani says - Only when the mind is silenced, soul's voice is heard. And soul is nothing except for the part of Waheguru ( Isnt this beautiful! :l: ) . It does make sense because you are saying when you do simran, your mann keeps on talking talking to you. You want your mann to stay queit! ( See Gurbani is so great :rolleyes2: ) .Do more seva as seva washes the filth of mind. It helps kill ego ( the "I" , because there is no "I" , we are part of Waheguru ). Amritvela? :laugh2: That is when Guru Sahib ji gives free blessings!!

If your mann fights with you, come out more brave and fight your mann in even more brave way! Remember khalsa is always at war - the inner war. So this time, be as strong in rehet as you can be! Do this also to show Guru Sahib how much you love them. Remember you have to win this! This is the only right way my dear.

[papidas]

Vaheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh ||

Your mind is going through a most dangerous phase called Shanka. Daas is also going through it and its is very hard to pull one self out. After talking to many Gurmukhs about this, these are some of the things daas has learned.

Shanka is very dangerous and can and most often will lead to a loss of Sharda.

One of the best things to do is just tell your mind off. Don't listen to it. Remember, Manhat Keechai Ant Vigovai. Don't listen to your mind's crazy Phurne. Furthermore, if you put 100% bharosa in Maharaj Jee, you cannot and will not listen to your mind. Have faith in Maharaj Jee. Many times we claim that we believe everything Maharaj Jee has to say. If that was the case, we would never doubt. As Bhai Sahib Jee says, this could be a test from Maharaj Jee seeing how much faith you have. But remember do Ardaas and do one to one veechar with other Gurmukhs. This really helped daas a lot. And remember, have faith Maharaj Jee and not your mind. Sri Gurbani Sahib Jee says, Sabho Sootak Bharam Hai Doojai Lagai Jaaye. To ask questions is one but to doubt is a completely different thing. I will post a couple of stories and veechars by Gurmukhs Maharaj Jee Kirpa Karan in the next few says that will help destroy these Naastil views that your mind is bringing up. In the meantime, read inspirational stories and books such as Rangle Sajjan and Sat Aukhian Ratan (if you can read Punjabi https://dl.dropbox.com/sh/id7crkcslzi3e0p/uXa6j2EvDY/Bhai%20Vir%20Singh-Books-English-Punjabi/Bhai_Vir_Singh_Punjabi/Sat%20Aukhian%20Ratan-Bhai%20Vir%20Singh%20Punjabi.pdf?token_hash=AAFa_37W58ih37derazhyhYUtrTsX1pZaBTmMnnnZQXbaQ&dl=1). They will help instill faith in you once more. Daas also requests that everyone also include daas in their Ardaasan. Please. That is a benti in the SatSangat's Pavan Pavitr Charan.

Bhul Chuk Muaaf (especially with the Sri Gurbani Sahib Jee Panktis and please correct daas wherever SatSangat feels neccessary)

[Guest Confused]

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh

Thank you for all your responses, they are very helpful and are helping me make sense of my situation.

I'm sorry if I can't respond to you all at the moment

@papidas thanks, I don't currently have the time to check the link you have provided but I hope it helps when I do

@GurujisDaughter unfortunately yes, it was as well as something which contains an NSAID which I dont know if that even counts). Unfortunately I live in an area where there are no Amrit Sanchars so I don't exactly have "access" to punj pyare so I don't really know how I can do this anytime soon, which is why I felt Ardaas was my only option.

Thanks for all your help

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh

[GurujisDaughter]

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh

Thank you for all your responses, they are very helpful and are helping me make sense of my situation.

I'm sorry if I can't respond to you all at the moment

@papidas thanks, I don't currently have the time to check the link you have provided but I hope it helps when I do

@GurujisDaughter unfortunately yes, it was as well as something which contains an NSAID which I dont know if that even counts). Unfortunately I live in an area where there are no Amrit Sanchars so I don't exactly have "access" to punj pyare so I don't really know how I can do this anytime soon, which is why I felt Ardaas was my only option.

Thanks for all your help

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh

You know the thing you are struggling from, it is absolutely possible that you probably did some mistake that is why it is happening. Even tho u live far away, what you can do is do ardaas to Guru ji to somehow get you to access Panj Peyare and do every effort you can to reach them. This is very important.