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Guest YoungFlyFlashy

Whats So Bad About Lust/kaam?

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Khalsa Ji

Physical relations before marriage is forbidden by Guru Ji as stated in Mukti Nama. Kaam can be a beautiful experience if it is our servant , Kaam can be a horrendous experience if we allow it to be our master.

what u mean

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Guest RavindaSingh

If you're too happy in life then you're doing something wrong ! ... take this quote anyway you want it makes sense

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kaam/lust is emotional attatchment to something that isnt constant - Any kaam (eg. 'love') is not constant in this life. You may 'love' someone but they wont be there forever. If you focus your mind on sexual desires you are living in a dream world, you are focusing your mind on something that is not constant in life and will not stay with you when all else has gone. The fact is, everything you see with your eyes will perish at some stage, the only thing that will remain constant is waheguru.

Well said Baji, any attachment with Maya includes children family Wife ect is nass waan (limited) Guru Shaib says if you have love for your Family, wife, children you should meet them in Sun Mandal, thats true love according to Sat Guru

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On 9/4/2012 at 11:05 PM, Guest YoungFlyFlashy said:

*deleted* But how do u actually hurt yourself in kaam if it feels goood

About what you say feeling good, is like eating sugar coated poison. which may taste sweet, but it is poisoning your body, until it will kill you.

The lust you talk about, is only at mental level, which drags you down to the beast level, and which will never allow you to think or meditate on Him.

As the saying goes: there where is kaam, there is no Naam Simran. Kaam and Naam are contradictory, both can not coexist at the same time, just as darkness and light.

For kaam pulls you downwards in the mayavee creation, putting heavy chains of karam on you, while when you attach yourself to Naam, it liberates you from all your bondage, and accelerates your going back to Sach Khand, His abode.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

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Guest MrLynx
On Monday, April 09, 2012 at 11:21 PM, Guest MKaur said:

Who are you really hurting..

Wow, what a question. You are hurting yourself, your aatma and your spiritual jeevan.

In order to understand why kaam is dangerous, we have to understand our purpose as a Sikh of the Guru.

Our purpose is to remember Waheguru, follow Gurmat and gain Satgurus blessings. How do we do this? By doing simran/japping naam, doing seva, earning an honest living and sharing what we have.

So, why can't we do all that but still be in a relationship? You may know about kaam (lust), krodh (anger), lobh (greed), moh (attachment) and hankaar (pride) AKA the Panj Chor. Why are they chor or thieves? Because they steal from you. What do they steal? They steal your amrit. We all have amrit inside us, and when/if Satguru blesses us with Amrit di daat, we are able to enjoy that amrit. Hence the meaning of amritdhari.

These Panj Chor steal our amrit and take us closer to maya. But what's wrong with maya?

maya mohi visaariaa jagath pitaa prathpaal ||

In attachment to maya, they have forgotten the Father, the Cherisher of the World.

It makes us forget Waheguru. So, if our purpose as Sikhs is to remember Waheguru, anything that takes us away from Waheguru should be avoided right? What else does Satguru tell us about maya?

maaya jaevad dukh nahi sabh bhav thakae sansaar||

There is no pain as great as the pain of Maya; it drives people to wander all around the world, until they become exhausted.

All these celebrities who have an abundance of worldly wealth, flashy cars, all the women they want, huge mansions etc. Do you think they're happier than the average person? No. They experience just as much pain as everyone else on this earth.

bikh maaya dhan sanch marehi anthae hoe sabh shaar||

He collects the poisonous wealth of Maya, and then dies. In the end, it is all reduced to ashes.

How deep is that? We spend our whole lives collecting money, attaching ourselves to people, doing all these things that we think will benefit us and make us happy. But when we die, we leave it all behind. That's it. None of it goes with us! Shrouds don't have pockets.

If you're in a relationship with someone and you've been intimate with them, what if it doesn't work out? It's depressing, to put it mildly. People sit around for days on end crying and being miserable. Until they get over it and start again with someone else. And the cycle repeats itself. Does that sound like happiness to you? Read Salok Mahalla 9. It's so deep. It tells us about how everything we see is temporary. How we are wasting our entire lives when we forget the one who created us!

These panj chor should be under our control, whereas in reality, most people are slaves to their desires, lust especially.

There is no guarantee that another human being will never leave you or hurt you. They could cheat on you or do any number of things. Lust is not going to make you happy. It is false happiness. The only true happiness is gained when we jap naam and remember Waheguru.

Gur updes saach sukh jaa ko kya this upmaa kehiae||

Those who follow the Guru's teachings find true peace - how can I even describe the glory of such a person?

That's what true happiness and true peace is. Not kaam, not worldly relationships with people who can leave you or hurt you, not money or worldly wealth.

Waheguru, blessings of Satguru & Gurmat = everlasting happiness.

Excellently summed up & with great quotes! 😊

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On 4/9/2012 at 8:10 PM, Guest YoungFlyFlashy said:

I dont understand what is wrong with having a girlfriend and spending quality time with her and maybe even pleasure with each other(Not just sex). Who are you really hurting? You are just sharing each others love and if they happen to be a great people in life and have good morals and standards of living why should it matter.

Well in Gurus' times teenagers and young adults were married, why not get married instead of having girlfriend.

Guru Nanak promoted grihast dharam, grihast jeevan; you cannot have grihast jeevan with girlfriend. Girlfriends take you away from grihast jeevan and make you get married late. 

You will there is a lot of harm in getting married later; the adults have grown up too much that they haven't grown compatible together and will not have grown into respecting each other. The daughter in laws will not have grown up with the paretns in law from a young age and this cause massive issues.

This in turn leads to talaaq/dirvoce, a concept which is incompatible with dharmik culture.

When a woman becomes widwa/widow, she maybe called rundee hogei. But this trash dating culture is leading to women being left by men without even being married, and these exes become rundee as their partner is like being dead to them , ie ex-partner/ ex boyfriend. 

If you follow Gurus and respect them, then you follow grihast dharam. sikh looks for a life partner, by looking for a girlfriend instead you are wasting time away from your life partner. Some abrahamic religions allow concubines or sex slaves, and with girlfriends you are doing something similar!!!! sikhi does allow polygamy (remember it is still part of grihast jeevan as opposed to trashy dating culture), some brave Singhs like bhai Mani Singh had 2 wives, Maharaja Ranit Singh had more - they also married as teenagers or young adults. So the wives replaced any need for girlfriends.

If one can have a wife or wives, then what is the need for girlfriends? They are just cheap replacements/options. Just lead by Guru Nanak's example of following grihast!

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