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Naam Simran Di Yukti

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    • There are many issues Sikh men need to be aware of when entering a life-long commitment whether it's with a woman from India, or a young lady from any respective western country in question. Unfortunately, it's somewhat of an uncomfortable truth that Punjabi fathers are themselves ill-equipped to advise their sons on the various ways of successfully traversing married life. Maybe this will change as people of my generation become fathers to their own children of marriageable age in the next 20 or so years, but I think that era will offer its own set of unique challenges. Generally, it's practically a sink or swim mentality amongst our people, and that leads to many serious issues that could easily be avoided if we just talked or even just frankly identified a few of the important issues to consider when selecting a partner AND the various issues that can arise between a couple after marriage, as well as identifying the problems that are unique to our culture regarding extended family norms, etc. Most of this soul-searching and analysis must begin before the marriage, before selecting a partner. There's TOO much to comprehensively identify and discuss here, but as an overview I will say that if you're going the traditional way of finding a partner through an introduction via a third party, just do yourself a favour and quickly eliminate from your mind any thoughts of romance and any other subjective ideas that will impair your judgement. If the institution of marriage is a serious concern to you, and one you plan to undertake just the once, then for God's sake use your brain, and don't take your cues from entertainment and other nonsensical soft-cultural influences. Be as dispassionate and as cool-headed as possible. Think about the sort of progeny that will result from your union with a lady, because ultimately you should be viewing a marriage as a method of securing the future of your lineage. This kind of approach to marriage isn't only for royalty and the elite families of the world. Sometimes, unavoidable bad stuff happens that you can't account for, but if you're attributing everything to fate and luck, you're going to be in for a shock. If this seems like I'm talking about breeding horses instead of humans and fostering relationships, then I apologise, but marriage and its related financial and social issues - that can destroy lives when it all falls apart - is a serious business. Look at not only the girl in question and her respective physical and personality traits, but analyse her family, too. Is there an errant sibling in the family? Maybe there's more than two? Could the potential person of interest be shielding their true nature for the purposes of securing an engagement? Look at the parents: are they loud and boisterous beyond the usual jolly Punjabi demeanour? Is their brash nature an endearing quality or does it suggest an unfortunate lack of manners and common sense? Could this be an indication of more concerning traits and values they've passed on to your potential marriage partner? Would you be upset if similar ingrained traits were passed onto your children? There's SO much to sift through if you aren't in the habit of leaving things to chance.  If you're going in with a head full of dreams and half-baked fantasies of everlasting love and romance, you're going to be disappointed. Marriage, even on a good day, is hard work. Give yourself a fighting chance by opening your eyes and your mind before entering such situations.
    • You think Trudeau family didn't spend thousands upon thousands on their designer top end Bollywood outfits? 
    • Big Tera  You need to be more firm and assertive when dealing in these matters.  Hope you have learnt some lessons here.  These type of life changing decisions cannot be taken lightly.  Still, it could have been worse.  I heard of a situation some years ago where the groom was waiting for his bride in the anand karaj and the bride bottled it. Her sister stepped in and married him instead.  Still,  if you are thinking of going to India for marriage,  there are still plenty of fish (metaphorically speaking).  Being a foreigner/westerner  going to India for marriage is a buyer's market  (sorry for this term). The reality is that you can turn one girl down and there are 20 to take her place.  Keep this in mind if you are going back there for marriage.  You dictate the terms to the vachola and don't back down. That is the langauge they understand.