californiasardar1

Marriage, The Perception Of Beards And Turbans, And The Future Of Our Religion (My Story)

138 posts in this topic

It is good of you to share your story and the solution of what you thought might be good for you. It maybe shocking for some of us to digest this but this is the reality of our kaum.

I see our community divided in three parts.

Panthic Sikhs(Amritdhari) lives in their own safety zone and they don't go out. Extremely small in numbers, wounded but still holding nishaan sahib higher.

Punjabi Sikhs (Kesh cut) lives in their own society. Majority of them drinks and do not follow sikhi. Minority of them do keep in touch with sikhi but got huge inferiority complex to go full with panthic sikhs.

Regular Sikhs (Kesh but not Amritdhari) are the most risky ones, as sooner or later they will transform to either panthic sikhs or punjabi sikhs. Majority of them (just this thread example) choose Punjabi Sikhs lifestyle.

I do not endorse nor believe in creating above categories... but my viewpoints of what our kaum in heading into..

Paji, I don't claim that what I have done is a "solution." Any relief I might feel from this is temporary. I know I will never truly be happy until I regain my old form. I just felt I had sunk to such depths that I needed a different perspective and a bit of a break. I did not know what else to do. My hope is that I can recover and return a stronger person, better able to follow the path of Sikhi.

I think you are absolutely correct about the way our community is divided.

Sadly, I don't think people from the different categories understand and relate to each other.

I always felt a disconnect when I interacted with amritdhari Sikhs, and I also felt a disconnect when I interacted with clean shaven Sikhs.

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Hats off to SING4PEACE,

for expressing so well his viewpoints, to which I very much agree.

The thing is, as long as our attention is outside in the world, with all that it implies, rituals, ceremonies, moortee pujas, jap, tap, paaths, which are outer forms of worship, and as such, we have created our own limitations.

We profess, that our dharam is the highest, and that is verily true, and there is no doubt in it.

But to get the maximmum out of it, is only possible when we follow Gurmat implicitly, which as said many a times, it is not difficult at all ...we only need to do what our Guru Sahibans have told us in their Bani.

They say: Ekas bin, sabh Dhhandhh hae. Means, without the only One(Wahiguru) everything else is useless, is a sheer waste.

Now this only one Wahiguru, how and where is He to be found?

The Bani tells us, that this human body is the temple, where within, He is to be found.

In outer worships, we usually need lamps, incense, flowers, offerings of food and clothes, etc and etc, depending on each different dharam or mazab....

But to meet our beloved Wahiguru, we need nothing as such complements. We need only to decorate ourselves with the garments of humility, with the lamp of faith, and the offerings of love.

These are the utensils for our devotion.

But now we need a vehicle also, to go from our house, to His house( within our body,Sach Khand); and that vehicle is Nam Simran, according also to our Guru Sahibans.

So we can see, that by His utter Grace, He has kept everything at our disposition, for each one of us in equal quantity and measure, irrespective of our clour, community, class, nationality, land or dharam. Thus He is the true Daatar.

But alas, we have become blind to Gurmat, and started exercising our very own maanmat, so naturally we are driven away from our goal.

Let each one of us read carefully with attention each and every ang of the Bani, and sincerely ask ourselves, without turning our faces towards other sides, as we may not like to see what we are doing, is it Gurmat fully what we are following?

Even if by reading we may not understand many passages, we may halt and ask oureslves and wait, the answer will come out sooner or later.

And even for not understanding its depth, we should not overlook the Bani, because many a times, that, that what we do not understand, has the clues to reform our maanmat up to an extent. Everything will gradually become clearer to us. The rest all depends on His mauj.

But to start with, we have to take concious steps forward towards Him, then He will definetely bless us with the right envoirements, for our moral and spiritual growth.

He is far more eager to give the wealth of His inmense blessings, than we are ready or capable to hold that Grace, with our tiny hands full of sand and stones(ignorance)

May Wahiguru bless all.

Sat Sree Akal.

Edited by harsharan000
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I want to thank everyone who contributed to this thread and offered their advice and support. It has always been hard for me to find anyone to turn to, and I will always be grateful that I found some people here.

Anyway, I feel as if I should confess what has happened. I hope it might inspire some of you to not fall into the traps I have and end up in the same place. If it does not affect any of you directly, perhaps you have younger brothers or sisters, or sons or daughters, or nephews or nieces who you could reach out to before they sink as low as I have.

About two weeks ago, I cut my hair.

It was the worst day of my life and I hate looking at myself in the mirror.

There is nothing I want to say to try to justify my actions. I am weak and have fallen short of the standards I always wanted to hold myself to.

I suppose all I can say is that I've been suffering from depression for several years. As my original post in this thread may have suggested, my problems are quite deep-rooted (and go far beyond anything related to Sikhi). I never felt as if I had much support to sort out my issues, and they have piled up higher and higher. I felt as though I should try to sort out my problems and rebuild myself before things get out of hand. I felt restricted and limited and didn't know what else to try. I know that is a pathetic excuse, and really there is no excuse. I had sunk so low, however, that I wasn't much of a Sikh anyway. I hope one day, when the time is right, I will start to look like myself again.

Thanks for sharing this Paji. Very sad but this sort of thing is happening everyday yet doesn't get talked about. Everyday Sikhs are cutting their hair solely because women are unattracted to hair. It it one of the biggest contributors to a diminishing religion yet people don't want to talk about it. Yes there are obviously examples of women who are attracted to the Sikh roop but the reality it that far more want a clean shaven guy. Generalisations are important as they paint a realistic picture of what is actually happening. Unfortunately our own are to blame as I have come across many purported 'Sikh' matrimonial that give the option of 'clean shaven' and caste. We really are digging our own grave.

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Hats off to SING4PEACE,

for expressing so well his viewpoints, to which I very much agree.

The thing is, as long as our attention is outside in the world, with all that it implies, rituals, ceremonies, moortee pujas, jap, tap, paaths, which are outer forms of worship, and as such, we have created our own limitations.

We profess, that our dharam is the highest, and that is verily true, and there is no doubt in it.

But to get the maximmum out of it, is only possible when we follow Gurmat implicitly, which as said many a times, it is not difficult at all ...we only need to do what our Guru Sahibans have told us in their Bani.

They say: Ekas bin, sabh gandh hae. Means, without the only One(Wahiguru) everything else is useless, is a sheer waste.

Now this only one Wahiguru, how and where is He to be found?

The Bani tells us, that this human body is the temple, where within, He is to be found.

In outer worships, we usually need lamps, incense, flowers, offerings of food and clothes, etc and etc, depending on each different dharam or mazab....

But to meet our beloved Wahiguru, we need nothing as such complements. We need only to decorate ourselves with the garments of humility, with the lamp of faith, and the offerings of love.

These are the utensils for our devotion.

But now we need a vehicle also, to go from our house, to His house( within our body,Sach Khand); and that vehicle is Nam Simran, according also to our Guru Sahibans.

So we can see, that by His utter Grace, He has kept everything at our disposition, for each one of us in equal quantity and measure, irrespective of our clour, community, class, nationality, land or dharam. Thus He is the true Daatar.

But alas, we have become blind to Gurmat, and started exercising our very own maanmat, so naturally we are driven away from our goal.

Let each one of us read carefully with attention each and every ang of the Bani, and sincerely ask ourselves, without turning our faces towards other sides, as we may not like to see what we are doing, is it Gurmat fully what we are following?

Even if by reading we may not understand many passages, we may halt and ask oureslves and wait, the answer will come out sooner or later.

And even for not understanding its depth, we should not overlook the Bani, because many a times, that, that what we do not understand, has the clues to reform our maanmat up to an extent. Everything will gradually become clearer to us. The rest all depends on His mauj.

But to start with, we have to take concious steps forward towards Him, then He will definetely bless us with the right envoirements, for our moral and spiritual growth.

He is more eager to give the weath of His inmense blessings, than we are ready or capable to hold that Grace, with our tiny hands full of sand and stones(ignorance)

May Wahiguru bless all.

Sat Sree Akal.

"Dhandh" not "Gandh"

ਏਕਸ ਬਿਨੁ ਸਭ ਧੰਧੁ ਹੈ ਸਭ ਮਿਥਿਆ ਮੋਹੁ ਮਾਇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Eaekas Bin Sabh Dhhandhh Hai Sabh Mithhiaa Mohu Maae ||1|| Rehaao ||

एकस बिनु सभ धंधु है सभ मिथिआ मोहु माइ ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥

Without the One, all entanglements are worthless; emotional attachment to Maya is totally false. ||1||Pause||

Source - http://searchgurbani.com/scriptures/ggs_shabad/129/line/6

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Forget about Desis & their offsprings.

It's better to marry a Black, White, Brown female who accepts you the way you are.

Check out

http://www.newtosikhi.com/forum/topics/sikh-men-and-their-role-in-the-delivery-of-their-child

http://mychardikalalife.wordpress.com/category/the-love-story-and-intercultural-journey/

Read articles & browse through archives at

http://www.sikhnet.com/discussion/viewforum.php?f=4

It might give you a new perspective on Sikhi & Marriage.

Edited by singhbj singh

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Forget about Desis & their offsprings.

It's better to marry a Black, White, Brown female who accepts you the way you are.

Check out

http://www.newtosikhi.com/forum/topics/sikh-men-and-their-role-in-the-delivery-of-their-child

http://mychardikalalife.wordpress.com/category/the-love-story-and-intercultural-journey/

Read articles & browse through archives at

http://www.sikhnet.com/discussion/viewforum.php?f=4

It might give you a new perspective on Sikhi & Marriage.

FIrst time I Must agree with you ..... I really don't know Why do sikh guys go only for sikh girls when there are thousands of other non sikh girls Die for the Sikh guys and want to embrace the sikhism... but This is the only Sikh guy Who Thinks about the social status and family background..... I believe when it comes to Sikhi., We should forget the Races and social values....A SIKH GUY SHOULD only MARRY A GIRL WHO EMBRACES SIKHI AND SIKH APPEARANCE OF SIKH GUY whether she is from sikh family or non sikh family It does not matter at all...

" udaa b Sache pyaar nu hai sachaa pyaar milda, Change Karma de naal munda sardar milda " :p

If Modern sikh girls don't have such nice Karmas Then I think We guys should not blame Ourselves ,Even we should be happy to see There is a Race among all the girls for getting a Sikh Husband on this earth.

And all these Girls believe in spending meaningful and reasonable life with some Genuine and Real Guy.... :)

Edited by TurbanGuys
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FIrst time I Must agree with you ..... I really don't know Why do sikh guys go only for sikh girls when there are thousands of other non sikh girls Die for the Sikh guys and want to embrace the sikhism... but This is the only Sikh guy Who Thinks about the social status and family background..... I believe when it comes to Sikhi., We should forget the Races and social values....A SIKH GUY SHOULD only MARRY A GIRL WHO EMBRACES SIKHI AND SIKH APPEARANCE OF SIKH GUY whether she is from sikh family or non sikh family It does not matter at all...

" udaa b Sache pyaar nu hai sachaa pyaar milda, Change Karma de naal munda sardar milda " :p

If Modern sikh girls don't have such nice Karmas Then I think We guys should not blame Ourselves ,Even we should be happy to see There is a Race among all the girls for getting a Sikh Husband on this earth.

And all these Girls believe in spending meaningful and reasonable life with some Genuine and Real Guy.... :)

Best thing that we can do is to give our sisters and daughters good Sikh values instead of non-Sikh values which result in them not wanting to marry a saabat soorat Sikh guy. Connecting girls with Gurbani from an early age and giving them Gurmat Sanskars is the only way to resolve this problem otherwise it will just get worse.

Edited by Jonny101
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Best thing that we can do is to give our sisters and daughters good Sikh values instead of non-Sikh values which result in them not wanting to marry a saabat soorat Sikh guy. Connecting girls with Gurbani from an early age and giving them Gurmat Sanskars is the only way to resolve this problem otherwise it will just get worse.

veerji.. I can take that Guarantee , you can take that guarantee ...But what about the Third one person? and Saabat soorat guy .., Veerji Eh guy har kise de karma wich nai likhya... Karma waali nu hi saabat surat munda milna va....

I get hurt not because of anything else but because of when sikh guy behaves under the influence of any Bimbo Girls born into sikh family....

Edited by TurbanGuys

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"Dhandh" not "Gandh"

ਏਕਸ ਬਿਨੁ ਸਭ ਧੰਧੁ ਹੈ ਸਭ ਮਿਥਿਆ ਮੋਹੁ ਮਾਇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Eaekas Bin Sabh Dhhandhh Hai Sabh Mithhiaa Mohu Maae ||1|| Rehaao ||

एकस बिनु सभ धंधु है सभ मिथिआ मोहु माइ ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥

Without the One, all entanglements are worthless; emotional attachment to Maya is totally false. ||1||Pause||

Source - http://searchgurbani.com/scriptures/ggs_shabad/129/line/6

Thanks Paa Jee for correcting.

Their was a mistake in my listenening this word in the kirtan sung by a keertanee.

You are right.

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Very nice replies by all.

In my viewpoint:

Sikh person who cut his/her hair, they do it not because they can't find a marriage partner but their own mind think that their sabat soorat look is not good enough and ruining their image. They themself do not like their own look and they satisfy themself by putting fake face.

Again it is really not their fault but our whole community responsible for this and those poor souls who went against gurus hukam will end up in narak.

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Very nice replies by all.

In my viewpoint:

Sikh person who cut his/her hair, they do it not because they can't find a marriage partner but their own mind think that their sabat soorat look is not good enough and ruining their image. They themself do not like their own look and they satisfy themself by putting fake face.

Again it is really not their fault but our whole community responsible for this and those poor souls who went against gurus hukam will end up in narak.

post-10438-0-39843100-1404133870_thumb.j

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Paji, I don't claim that what I have done is a "solution." Any relief I might feel from this is temporary. I know I will never truly be happy until I regain my old form. I just felt I had sunk to such depths that I needed a different perspective and a bit of a break. I did not know what else to do. My hope is that I can recover and return a stronger person, better able to follow the path of Sikhi.

I think you are absolutely correct about the way our community is divided.

Sadly, I don't think people from the different categories understand and relate to each other.

I always felt a disconnect when I interacted with amritdhari Sikhs, and I also felt a disconnect when I interacted with clean shaven Sikhs.

You should connect with Sikhs based in California, some links

http://www.meetup.com/Gurbani/

http://www.meetup.com/BayAreaSikhs/

http://www.meetup.com/SF-Sikhs-Punjabis/

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How is everyone doing?

 

I have been away from this forum.  After cutting my hair, I sunk into an even deeper depression than I had been in.  I went through some serious problems with my career and also experienced some family problems.  In the midst of all this, I just stopped caring about girls.

I have grown my hair and beard back now and once again am a singh.

 

So what does the Sikh community intend to do about this issue?  It is not going away anytime soon. 

 

I know there will be many on this forum who will try to downplay this issue and act like it is only a problem that is specific to me and my experiences.  But the truth is that far too many young sikh men with their dhari and kesh intact have no where to turn, no support structure, no guidance, and no idea what to do to feel better about themselves.

Is there anything we can do?  We can't continue to ignore this issue.

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7 hours ago, californiasardar1 said:

So what does the Sikh community intend to do about this issue?  It is not going away anytime soon. 

Have you considered that perhaps you need to work on yourself, and that it's not your appearance that's the problem but what you "put out there" as a person? Bitterness, anger, and resentment aren't desirable qualities in any person, and usually someone who does wallow in such thoughts has a certain feeling about them that isn't agreeable. You'd be surprised at how easily most people can detect that kind of negative vibe emanating from a person. It's very off-putting. 

I'm sure you don't need to be provided with countless examples of Singhs with uncut hair who've bagged an attractive Punjabi female (because, reading between the lines, I believe that's what you think you deserve), so one would have to wonder why that isn't happening for you. 

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8 hours ago, californiasardar1 said:

How is everyone doing?

 

I have been away from this forum.  After cutting my hair, I sunk into an even deeper depression than I had been in.  I went through some serious problems with my career and also experienced some family problems.  In the midst of all this, I just stopped caring about girls.

I have grown my hair and beard back now and once again am a singh.

 

So what does the Sikh community intend to do about this issue?  It is not going away anytime soon. 

 

I know there will be many on this forum who will try to downplay this issue and act like it is only a problem that is specific to me and my experiences.  But the truth is that far too many young sikh men with their dhari and kesh intact have no where to turn, no support structure, no guidance, and no idea what to do to feel better about themselves.

Is there anything we can do?  We can't continue to ignore this issue.

You will not find any answers to your questions here.what you will find is "normal" advice.  Your mind is going to be filled with a lot of dirt from this forum.  You kept your hair again.  Now work on the internal issues by Gurbani.  No advice here will help you.  They will judge you and set you on the wrong way and the result will be more depression.  

A lot of the "normal" people dont deal with depression as often as others and in your case.  They are blinded by worldy attachments that will drag them into hell.  When they do deal with episodes of depression, they cover it up by taking a worldly ways out.  The worldly garbage keeps them "stable" and they live a so called balanced life of secular and religious ways.  They can't help you understand what you need to do is lift yourself out of a hole you are in.  Currently you feel good but it may  not last long till you are facing depression again and its very hard to focus on Gurbani.  You're in a vicious cycle of ups and downs at this time and life is hell.  There is only one way out of it.  Through Gurbani, read listen contemplate and stay in sangat who have a desire to be with Gurbani, actually live the teachings.  In this way you won't be bothered by bad thoughts.  Sleep with Gurbani playing as well.  This will clean your subconscious of filth.  Gurbani will strengthen your mind and worldly garbage will not flood your mind with trash.  You need true inner strength of faith, love, compassion, contentment, and self worth. These blessings from the Guru will make your mind tough. No one here can give you these things.  Listen to the teachings of sri guru granth sahib ji.   

Edited by Akalifauj
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Hey west coast dude,  stop stressing yourself too much. You shouldn't give a toss to what others think.

Being a follower of Guru Nanak ji's teachings is about being a Sikh, and that Sikh is a learner. Life's about learning the LESSONS. There are the lessons from your previous births and there's also the lessons for the life you live now.

I'm gonna seriously tell you that you can better yourself by putting energy into simran and naam jaap. Seriously, that is what it is all about. You have to make that effort first before gurbani will begin to settle inside you.

I did the same as you and much worse, but I can tell you man,  I look back to those dark days, and I'm glad. Yeh, I'm seriously glad that I faced that $hit and those issues. I couldn't care less if some one says I handled it the wrong way or the right way back then, but all that matters is...... that today........, I know I'm a better geaza. I know my conscious is more clear. I know I'm a better learner and have learned. this means I'm a better Sikh. ...and that's all that matters dude.  Guru judges you for what you are right now. Sikhi isn;t about being judged about past. it is all about the NOW.  Gurbani mentions many paapis that woke up suddenly and realised their wrong doings. They learened in an instant just by making small efforts to the Guru. Kauda raksh just saw the truth of Guru Nanak ji that made him waken to his own true self. That's all that mattered,, he learned, he got their in the end.  LIFE is meant to be an UPHILL battle.  and that's what I love about it.  If life was just a simple boat sail in a steady breeze, then it would be pretty boring and worthless for me.  I'd still be the drunk jatt dancing with bukray :)   There's a Sikh guy I know who used to keep telling me that it's all inside you man. I never really understood what he was on about most of the time.  He kept pushing and encouraging me to try and meditate..and to do naam jap. Eventually he taught me a few techniques and tricks on how to grab the mind and get cracking.   and boy ..oh boy,,  I'm beginning to see what he was telling me and I'm beginning to see that its all about the truth inside me and you.

 

O yeh, btw, I'm still gonna go around saying I'm a better jatt as well, even though I never done jack all kethee bane :) Be proud of who and what you are. Don't class yourself or other's as better. Don't ever feel that you aint worthy either.  Just get on kicking it, get on living it, and get on bettering yourself.

 

Edited by JUSTAJATT
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3 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Have you considered that perhaps you need to work on yourself, and that it's not your appearance that's the problem but what you "put out there" as a person? Bitterness, anger, and resentment aren't desirable qualities in any person, and usually someone who does wallow in such thoughts has a certain feeling about them that isn't agreeable. You'd be surprised at how easily most people can detect that kind of negative vibe emanating from a person. It's very off-putting. 

I'm sure you don't need to be provided with countless examples of Singhs with uncut hair who've bagged an attractive Punjabi female (because, reading between the lines, I believe that's what you think you deserve), so one would have to wonder why that isn't happening for you. 

Forget about me, you've clearly already made up your mind that my problem is entirely my creation.

What about all of the other young men (especially those younger than me)?  What is the Sikh community going to do for them?  What can we do to provide support and guidance, especially when they are going through the most vulnerable time in their lives, maturing into adults?

 

Oh, wait, nevermind.  I must be the only singh who has ever struggled with this.  And if there are one or two other singhs who have also struggled with this, it must be because of their rotten personalities.

Edited by californiasardar1

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23 minutes ago, californiasardar1 said:

Forget about me, you've clearly already made up your mind that my problem is entirely my creation.

What about all of the other young men (especially those younger than me)?  What is the Sikh community going to do for them?  What can we do to provide support and guidance, especially when they are going through the most vulnerable time in their lives, maturing into adults?

 

Oh, wait, nevermind.  I must be the only singh who has ever struggled with this.  And if there are one or two other singhs who have also struggled with this, it must be because of their rotten personalities.

Even you have to begin to wonder whether there might be something awry. You couldn't find a woman in your initial period as a Singh; you struggled to nab a lady when you had shorn hair, and now you're back at square one. What conclusion is to be drawn from that?

Maybe it's your confrontational attitude and generally negative manner that is the problem? I don't think you have a rotten personality. You seem like a somewhat intelligent individual. I do think you're hurting, though. I also find it interesting you've resurrected this thread on this particular day, Valentine's Day of all days, to be a telling indication of your state of mind. Perhaps you're feeling slightly lonely and unnoticed, and feel the need to vent at the community that you feel is responsible for the unfortunate situation you find yourself in?

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1 minute ago, MisterrSingh said:

Even you have to begin to wonder whether there might be something awry. You couldn't find a woman in your initial period as a Singh; you struggled to nab a lady when you had shorn hair, and now you're back at square one. What conclusion is to be drawn from that?

Maybe it's your confrontational attitude and generally negative manner that is the problem? I don't think you have a rotten personality. You seem like a somewhat intelligent individual. I do think you're hurting, though. I also find it interesting you've resurrected this thread on this particular day, Valentine's Day of all days, to be a telling indication of your state of mind. Perhaps you're feeling slightly lonely and unnoticed, and feel the need to vent at the community that you feel is responsible for the unfortunate situation you find yourself in?

 

 

I didn't even realize it was Valentine's Day until you brought it up.  I don't pay attention to holidays.

 

What you don't seem to understand is it is not all about just getting a girl.  One's dignity must also be kept intact.  Things changed when I had shorn hair, but I realized I could never be happy being with a girl who I got with while looking like that.  It destroyed who I was, and that was part of why things got worse.  So that is one conclusion that I have drawn. 

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8 minutes ago, californiasardar1 said:

What you don't seem to understand is it is not all about just getting a girl.  One's dignity must also be kept intact.  Things changed when I had shorn hair, but I realized I could never be happy being with a girl who I got with while looking like that.  It destroyed who I was, and that was part of why things got worse.  So that is one conclusion that I have drawn. 

That's an admirable way of looking at things. That's integrity. 

You know this already but life is harsh; people are rarely any better. I'm guessing you wish you could tune out that nagging voice in your head and go with the flow like everyone else, and not over think things too much. So what's the plan? Forget about everyone else, what do you want to happen?

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its been 6 years since your post, have you found a women. 

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Hi bro,

Tough situation. I am of the same age and finding it just as hard even though I haven't kept kesh and mix with this punjabi crowd so i wouldnt worry about it. The more you think that you'll be alone, the more you will drive yourself crazy. If anything, your the one who won't be alone because you have waheguru, you have your nitnem and kirtan etc. I don't have that because I'm constantly making mistakes in life. Keep a positive attitude and I'm sure you will meet someone soon. This is all kismet. 

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8 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

That's an admirable way of looking at things. That's integrity. 

You know this already but life is harsh; people are rarely any better. I'm guessing you wish you could tune out that nagging voice in your head and go with the flow like everyone else, and not over think things too much. So what's the plan? Forget about everyone else, what do you want to happen?

 

I don't really have a plan.  I have moved back in with my parents and have focused on taking care of them, sorting out my career, and exercising.  I haven't been looking for a girl, haven't been going to the Gurdwara, haven't kept in touch with the Sikh community.  From time to time, I feel a sense of deep regret, like I've missed out on something.  And I wish my parents had grandchildren they could play with and look after.  But overall, I am happier now than when I was trying to meet a girl.  Life goes on.

I posted on this thread again because I had an experience recently which brought back the emotions and thoughts I had when I was trying to meet a girl, and it made me wish the situation for me and people like me was different, and that something could be done about it.  Perhaps if there was some support structure for young men during their formative years, they could come up with a better way of overcoming this obstacle than just ignoring it and moving on with their lives.

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Need is an illusion. One is complete in itself like a hologram where EACH PART CONTAINS THE WHOLE. God made its creation just like it isNeeding anyone or anything usually drives it away.

Belief creates reality believe first then manifestation will follow. Last thing I would worry about is getting along with the Punjabi crowd. Most are low self esteem lost sheep. Follow only your Guru Sahibs. What you see in them you will see in yourself (This is the key to positive manifestation) you become what you worship.

hologram-6.gif

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nimakh kaam suaadh kaaran kott dhinas dhukh paavehi || gharee muhath ra(n)g maanehi fir bahur bahur pashhuthaavehi ||1||

For a moment of sexual pleasure, you shall suffer in pain for millions of days. For an instant, you may savor pleasure, but afterwards, you shall regret it, again and again. ||1||

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