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californiasardar1

Marriage, The Perception Of Beards And Turbans, And The Future Of Our Religion (My Story)

138 posts in this topic

Can we stop with the low self-esteem posts?

If you are sardar, and you can't get a girl, then there is something wrong with you and it isn't your turban. I will see guys at gurdwara. They type that look like they tied their dastar in the dark, their beard is totally untamed, they dress like they don't give a damn, and they probably have never set foot in a gym. Those are the guys that complain that girls don't like sardars. No mate, they just don't like YOU.

I've seen plenty of sardars who get girls. Non-Sikh as well as Sikh girls. The girls that fall out of pubs in the wee hours of the morning probably don't like sardars, but you know what? GOOD RIDDANCE!

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While I have always been proud to be Sikh, I can't say the same about being Punjabi. Why? I had some very bad experiences with Punjabi people in my youth. The children at the local gurdwara (where most kids had cut hair) would often tease me for keeping my kesh. As we got older, the teasing became less frequent, but I still felt like I was always shunned or excluded to a certain extent by the other kids. I was also ridiculed for being poor (my family doesn't come from a poor background in India, or a so-called "low caste", but some unfortunate circumstances that I will not get into contributed to a relatively low standard of living). Ironically, my non-Punjabi friends seemed to give me much less grief over my hair or the economic background of my family.

I know that these are just my own personal experiences, and I am not trying to say that all Punjabi people are like the ones I encountered as a youngster, but they nevertheless left me with a very bad taste in my mouth. I felt completely rejected by Punjabi people and since I left home to go to college, I tried my best to steer clear of them. I am aware of how paradoxical this all is: a man who is proud to be a Sikh and will not change his appearance or lifestyle to assimilate into "mainstream America", and yet feels uncomfortable around other Sikhs and does his best to avoid them.

Your from Cali and you couldn't find any Sardar kids to hang out with? Cali has the largest Sikh population out of any state in the US. I've never even heard of sehajdhari apne giving sardar kids a hard time.

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Can we stop with the low self-esteem posts?

If you are sardar, and you can't get a girl, then there is something wrong with you and it isn't your turban. I will see guys at gurdwara. They type that look like they tied their dastar in the dark, their beard is totally untamed, they dress like they don't give a damn, and they probably have never set foot in a gym. Those are the guys that complain that girls don't like sardars. No mate, they just don't like YOU.

I've seen plenty of sardars who get girls. Non-Sikh as well as Sikh girls. The girls that fall out of pubs in the wee hours of the morning probably don't like sardars, but you know what? GOOD RIDDANCE!

I'm not one of those out of shape guys who dresses like he doesn't care. You'll just have to trust me on that (I have nothing to gain by lying about it on a website like this).

As I said in my post, most of my efforts have been online. I'm sure there are many things "wrong" with me. I'm not perfect. But nobody would even know about those things if they don't talk to me. I'm pretty sure my inability to find anyone willing to talk to me online is mostly due to having a turban.

Where are you from? Perhaps the situation is different wherever you live.

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Your from Cali and you couldn't find any Sardar kids to hang out with? Cali has the largest Sikh population out of any state in the US. I've never even heard of sehajdhari apne giving sardar kids a hard time.

It all depends on which part of California you are from. I'm not from the places you are probably thinking of. When I was growing up, there were a few keshdari kids at the local gurdwara, but the vast majority cut their hair.

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I completely understand where you're coming from. Sikh girls are probably one of the main reasons why Sikh boys/men cut their hair. When I was in high school, I remember all my friends cutting their hairs mainly because of girls. Then if that wasn't enough they would encourage each other to cut hair as if it is the cool thing to do. I myself was under so much peer pressure to cut my hair from my so called friends, but thanks to Guru jee's kirpa I was spared this disgraceful act. Strangely my Hindu and Muslim friends never had a problem with me keeping my kesh. In fact, a Muslim friend of mine used to always tell me never to cut my hair like the other Sikh boys did. While Sikh girls don't like keshadhari Sikhs. I had seen sardar Sikhs who had no problem attracting attention from Hindu and Muslim girls.

I had a mona friend recently. He wanted to keep his kesh, but was scared that if he kept his kesh he would not be able to find a so called "Sikh" girl to marry him. So he made a plan to keep his kesh after marriage. He married a so called Sikh girl who specifically asked for a clean shaven Sikh boy in her matrimonial ad. He married her late last year and three months later kept his kesh. He says his wife has no problem with his decision.

Another case of another friend of mine. His elder brother who was a tall, athletic and highly educated was rejected by a girl who said she will only marry him if he is clean shaven. She ended up marrying a mona who is a truck driver, drinker and is not exactly a good looking guy either. This id iot "Sikh" girl rejected a good looking sardar who was tall and athletic and highly educated for the complete opposite.

Sikh girls in the west are mostly a hopeless case. I would suggest any veer here to go to India and marry a traditional Punjabi Sikh woman. They are great wives and will be great mothers to your children.

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There has been so many of these types of posts, its getting embarrassing.

This is what I think...

its not a pro-Gurmat view for which i apologise in advance. But I think its about time it needs to be said.

Women generally are geared up through evolution to mate with a partner most likely to provide for them, i.e. the protector and caretaker.

There are many physiological studies to support this.

In addition to this, (please google this if you require proof) in a study they asked women what they found most attractive in the opposite sex - the quality "standing up for what he believes in" came top.. i.e. men who stood for what they believe in.. its a form of aphrodisiac, they did studies on men doing passionate speeches etc and they were scored by women.

I know a fair few singhs, from my experience the ones who made reps for themselves , who carried themselves in colleges and unis had no problem getting married. infact rishtay came to them. The 50/50 guys, who didn't know if they coming or going, who didn't ever stand for a cause or get into a scrap.. typical fairy singhs... they are the ones who had trouble finding a girl.

There was a point in the 80's when girls in Panjab only wanted to marry karku singhs.. doesn't that fit in with the studies mentioned above? Now that we have moved from karku singhs to fairy singhs we have problems... what does that say?

I would say one thing though, there are guys who get many rishtay but find it very difficult to find a girl who stands up for what she believes in too. too many insecure penji's too.

bottom line is 90% of this mona vs singh argument is in the mind. if it was true half these mona's wouldn't be crying over girls either. it's YOUR personal qualities that's not attractive.. sorry, its the truth.

Fix up, train, stand up for what you believe in, don't be pervy and you got no problems.

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I'm not one of those out of shape guys who dresses like he doesn't care. You'll just have to trust me on that (I have nothing to gain by lying about it on a website like this).

I'm pretty sure my inability to find anyone willing to talk to me online is mostly due to having a turban.

Right...that's why there are loads of girls who specifically ask for gursikh or amritdhari guys on those matrimonial sites.

It all depends on which part of California you are from. I'm not from the places you are probably thinking of. When I was growing up, there were a few keshdari kids at the local gurdwara, but the vast majority cut their hair.

California is full of apne. I have family there. I have a hard time believing that Sikhs with cut hair would abuse you to the point where you are mentally scarred for life. Yeah right.

While Sikh girls don't like keshadhari Sikhs

My clueless friend, plenty of Sikh girls only look for gursikh men.

He married a so called Sikh girl who specifically asked for a clean shaven Sikh boy in her matrimonial ad

Why didn't he go for the Sikh girls who are specifically asking for a gursikh boy in their matrimonial ad?

Sikh girls in the west are mostly a hopeless case.

Really? And here I thought they were the most educated and qualified ones. Go figure...

Admin jeo, remember when I said certain people are only on our forum to make mischief? LOL

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I completely understand where you're coming from. Sikh girls are probably one of the main reasons why Sikh boys/men cut their hair. When I was in high school, I remember all my friends cutting their hairs mainly because of girls. Then if that wasn't enough they would encourage each other to cut hair as if it is the cool thing to do. I myself was under so much peer pressure to cut my hair from my so called friends, but thanks to Guru jee's kirpa I was spared this disgraceful act. Strangely my Hindu and Muslim friends never had a problem with me keeping my kesh. In fact, a Muslim friend of mine used to always tell me never to cut my hair like the other Sikh boys did. While Sikh girls don't like keshadhari Sikhs. I had seen sardar Sikhs who had no problem attracting attention from Hindu and Muslim girls.

I had a mona friend recently. He wanted to keep his kesh, but was scared that if he kept his kesh he would not be able to find a so called "Sikh" girl to marry him. So he made a plan to keep his kesh after marriage. He married a so called Sikh girl who specifically asked for a clean shaven Sikh boy in her matrimonial ad. He married her late last year and three months later kept his kesh. He says his wife has no problem with his decision.

I have to admit that such an idea (cutting my hair to find a wife and then regrowing it after marriage) has crossed my mind. However, while it sounds like a plan which would allow me to end up with everything I want at the end, I don't think I could bring myself to do it. I can easily imagine myself being punished for such an act by being unable to find a woman even after cutting my hair and stripping myself of my dignity in the process.

Another case of another friend of mine. His elder brother who was a tall, athletic and highly educated was rejected by a girl who said she will only marry him if he is clean shaven. She ended up marrying a mona who is a truck driver, drinker and is not exactly a good looking guy either. This id iot "Sikh" girl rejected a good looking sardar who was tall and athletic and highly educated for the complete opposite.

Sikh girls in the west are mostly a hopeless case. I would suggest any veer here to go to India and marry a traditional Punjabi Sikh woman. They are great wives and will be great mothers to your children.

Going to India is an option that I am going to have to stay open to, I realize. However, it's really not what I want. Growing up in America, you often end up wanting something different out of marriage than you would growing up in India. I want to find someone who I have chemistry with. I think it's difficult to find such a person going to India for a number of reasons:

1. You don't get a chance to spend a lot of time with the person before marriage and see if you click with them.

2. To whatever extent you do get to know the girl, it's hard to tell how sincerely she is presenting herself. A lot of people in India are willing to do anything to come to America, and are unlikely to be open and straightforward about who they are.

3. There are naturally going to be big cultural barriers between a person who has lived in America his whole life and a person who has lived in India her whole life.

In any case, if matrimonials are any indication, the clean-shaven preference is just about as prevalent in India as it is here. However, a girl who'd otherwise only be open to a clean-shaven guy might consider a turbanned guy if it allowed her to go to America. It would be sad if I had to rely on that, but that's what it might come to.

(Note: I do not intend any of my above comments to be sexist. Men in India are just as dishonest and insincere when it comes to possibly marrying a girl from the west.)

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My clueless friend, plenty of Sikh girls only look for gursikh men.

I'm not your friend and you can keep your name calling to yourself. Plenty of Sikh girls maybe looking or Sikh men, but not everyone has sangat of Gursikhs or families that have girls available that want Keshadhari Sikh men for marriage.

Why didn't he go for the Sikh girls who are specifically asking for a gursikh boy in their matrimonial ad?

The reason is because he wanted to keep his kesh, but all the marriage proposals were asking for clean shaven. So he made it a point to marry such a girl who was asking for a clean shaven man for marriage so he can show that girl that he is no different as a husband whether he was a Sardar or clean shaven.

Really? And here I thought they were the most educated and qualified ones. Go figure...

You figured it wrong. They are largely a hopeless case in connection to their dislike for Keshadari Sikhs not in terms of education.

Admin jeo, remember when I said certain people are only on our forum to make mischief? LOL

Yes, admin should take note of such people

cough.. cough.... SinghSabha

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Right...that's why there are loads of girls who specifically ask for gursikh or amritdhari guys on those matrimonial sites.

I see your point, but there are not "loads". Moreover, if you restrict your search to certain subgroups (like jatts), as some unenlightened parents often pressure their children to do, there are very few. You make a legitimate point, and maybe one of these people will be the right one for me, but it doesn't address the larger issue that the number of girls actively seeking sardars is miniscule when compared to the number of girls seeking clean-shaven guys.

California is full of apne. I have family there. I have a hard time believing that Sikhs with cut hair would abuse you to the point where you are mentally scarred for life. Yeah right.

Now you are just being disrespectful. Do you think I just made this all up for my own amusement? I realize my experience might be a bit unusual and unfortunate, and I realize you might know people who had very different experiences than I did. But it is what it is. California is a very large state and not all Sikh communities are like the ones you probably are thinking of. I'm not from the bay area or central valley or any of those places.

Admin jeo, remember when I said certain people are only on our forum to make mischief? LOL

I know my experience is unusual. That doesn't make it untrue. I came here to hopefully have a constructive conversation about what I and the community in general could do about what I think is a very serious problem. I welcome and appreciate your input, but to insinuate that I or anyone else is just making mischief is disrespectful.

I'm legitimately surprised that you do not seem to think the preference for clean-shaven guys is as prevalent as I've suggested or that it is a serious problem. Go to one of the big matrimonial sites and see how many women are interested exclusively in clean-shaven men as opposed to those interested in sardars. And that doesn't account for all of the girls who do not even specify their clean-shaven preference (since it's not really necessary when most guys these days are clean-shaven anyway).

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There has been so many of these types of posts, its getting embarrassing.

This is what I think...

its not a pro-Gurmat view for which i apologise in advance. But I think its about time it needs to be said.

Women generally are geared up through evolution to mate with a partner most likely to provide for them, i.e. the protector and caretaker.

There are many physiological studies to support this.

In addition to this, (please google this if you require proof) in a study they asked what women found most attractive in the opposite sex was and the quality "standing up for what he believes in" came top.. i.e. men who stood for what they believe in.. its a form of aphrodisiac, they did studies on men doing passionate speeches etc and they were scored by women.

I know a fair few singhs, from my experience there ones who made reps for themselves , who carried themselves in colleges and unis had no problem getting married. infact rishtay came to them. The 50/50 guys, who didn't know if they coming or going, who didn't ever stand for a cause or get into a scrap.. they are the ones who had trouble finding a girl.

I would say one thing though, there are guys who get many rishtay but find it very difficult to find a girl who stands up for what she believes in too.

bottom line is 90% of this mona vs singh argument is in the mind. if it was true half these mona's wouldn't be crying over girls either.

Fix up, train, stand up for what you believe in, don't be pervy and you got no problems.

I'm sorry for embarrassing the forum.

Anyway, I think you make a lot of good points here.

I think one of the problems with my approach is that it has largely been restricted to the internet (due to the fact that I don't know many Punjabi people and you can't exactly just walk down the street and run into a crowd of Punjabis when their population density is so low here). When someone doesn't see you in person, you can't project all of the intangible qualities (confidence, etc.) that women find attractive.

I am going to see what I can do about meeting more Punjabi girls in person.

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I live in the UK, and I know a lot of what you said is true even in my family background I hear relatives saying we need a 'clean shaven guy' etc it's pathetic. I get so angry and think why don't you all just look for Muslim guys. The thing is people are so stuck in culture and tradition that they forget about religion altogether. Punjabi people listen to bhangra music, lustful songs, watch Bollywood movies, Indian dramas, the whole concept changes in girls mind, they see that on TV and automatically percieve that person to be 'attractive' but in reality who is attractive? A person who is bad, who drinks, smokes eats filthy food but is clean shaven is he attractive? No a person who has respect for their religion who abides by the code of conduct is beautiful you know they are the ones who will lead a good life and will be well respected in the Sikh community as well as other religions around them.

The Sikh girls that think clean shaven is beautiful nothing lasts looks fade everyone ages we all get old. it's just society has changed we are now in the so called 'west' where people have adpated to this culture, I blame the parents who don't keep their childrens hair and lack of sikhi knowledge that leads to situations like this. if the whole world was amritdhari we would never even have topics posted on this. Sometimes I wonder whether some peope are Sikhs at all..

Don't worry about it, YOU are unique people are just jealous that you get noticed! You wear the jewel of what Guru Gobind Singh Ji has given be proud of it and spread the message and if some people don't want that their loss somones gain! :D

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Its a messed up world populated by equally messed up people. Most Sikh girls (and girls from other backgrounds if we're being honest) are shallow, overly materialistic and plain dim. To find a genuinely original, bright (by no means academically proficient - there's a difference) and decent girl you've got to have the goods yourself.

You know what they say about making a girl laugh and that's half the battle won? Well obviously don't launch into a comedy routine but you know, learn to carry yourself amongst people and most importantly LIKE YOURSELF! If a person doesn't think much of themselves, its written all over their face and people are usually astute enough to pick up those vibes. Whilst the gym is not the answer to all our problems, it is one particular part of the whole solution.

Anyway, good luck with your search for a wife. I have no doubt if you work on yourself in all areas, you will definitely find the partner you desire. Also, remember that God will help us in these kind of endeavours. You just have to ask.

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I think it depends on how a person carries themselves. Confidence is the most attractive thing in the world. The ironic thing from the OP message is a gurdwara is where a Singh is looked upto, I find it strange that someone would get bullied or teased in a gurdwara for keeping kesh.

Sardars who do not cut their hair can find partners. An example is I was at the gurdwara this morning. There was a wedding. A keshdhari guy who had a full uncut beard, which was open not tied up, had a pagh which I think is not his normal style as it was big and pinky reddish and looked like was either tied in the dark or as if he'd had just got up from a nap got married. He got married to an attractive, slim very good looking gori. Yes a white girl.

BTW I was there with my kids not attending the wedding but just doing darshan of guru Ji as I do every week. I did not look or mean in a pervy way the bride was attractive, just highligthing she was pretty.

I know its not the norm for a sardar who has an open flowing beard not tied up beard to get hitched to an attractive white women. But it can and does happen.

It happened today at Guru Amar Das Ji Gurdwara Sahib in Leicester, anyone else who was there can vouch for this.

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In many cases, finding a partner is just another form of trade or transaction. The question asked by most people when they enter this transaction is what am I getting and or/what am I offering?

For most people, this transaction is purely maya related.

For women, looking at a guy, they will naturally and intuitively assess the guy's wealth (his ability to provide for his wife and family), his status (her own status will increase if she is with a high status guy, especially in the eyes of other people), and also his ability to protect his woman and his family (ie is he strong, well built, confident, does he have lots of contacts? etc.)

The above has little or nothing to do with having a turban, beard or whatever. It is attraction based purely on the perceived ability of a man to fulfil some basic functions as a husband/partner and enabling some kind of social elevation to take place and as bonus, make all the other girls jealous lol.

The above is always true. Thats why pop stars, even ugly and old ones, and rich guys, including ugly and old ones, and bullies, gangsters, politicians and other so called powerful and confident men have no problem attracting girls.

The same applies to Singhs. In fact the same applies to monay and everybody else.

Without realising it and just by posting what he has, california sardar, has already struck himself off, by believing that he is not attractive to girls and that the reason for this is his turban and beard. He will project this weakness intuitively, and women, who have a nose for this kind of thing will pick it up and automatically strike him off as a potential mate, given his lack of confidence. The reason is not his turban and beard.. it is his lack of confidence associated with his turban and beard.

If this is a problem for you california sardar, may I suggest that you spend some time investing in yourself and plugging this gap in your life, through research on this topic (how to attract women). It sounds to me that you are a really nice and genuine guy and that any woman would be lucky to have you as a husband, if they were not so thick and superficial as to judge your lack of confidence.

However, at the same time you cannot blame for this, as this is how they are hardwired. This is basically just natural selection/ darwinism at work.

Seriously bro, like sarabha said, train, become an alpha male, become a high flyer at work, develop a strong and confident personality, become selective in what kind of woman you are looking for and you will be well on your way.

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I can feel for you. I had a similar experience growing up due to financial and family problems. Then came the task of getting married. Within the Punjabi community it is all about your status and family connections. If you are weak with family problems they like to avoid you. Once you have established yourself then all of sudden you become worth the time to talk to.

I am also from the jatt clan. They are probably the biggest clan here in the west and most backwards, They are basically from the villages and most don't have much of a brain, especially the girls. They really don't care about religion, it is mostly about status and what will make them look good. They like to associate with those of there own level. These days with all the negative PR about the turban and the bling bling easy lifestyle portrayed by punjabi music, the girls are leaning to that way of life and so are the boys.

At times it feels as if you are living in the wrong era. This era is for the morally corrupt and the bling bling type. The free living lifestlye with no constraints of religion is what most people want and I will be honest even the so called religious people want this as well but deep down inside them. When they see the hot chicks dancing in the tight jeans and the tough jatt getting the kuri, this is what they want, for the most part. There are very few who are actually connected to the soul.

Just wearing a turban doesn't mean anything if there is no way of life behind it. You are wearing the crown of a lion but want the meaningless things like companionship of a women. This is wear you are running into trouble and you have to figure out where you stand. Whats the point in keeping the turban if you don't want to live the sikh way of life. You will end up running into lots of hurdles in life where you won't be able to choose between the 2 lifestyles. If you are living the gursikh lifesyle then women become a non-issue, if and when it is destined so it will happen. The other way around you are going to set yourself up for failure. You will look in the wrong places and meet the wrong people and it will only drive you to hate the turban more and more. You will try and find someone who wants to marry a turbaned person in mainstream punjabi community, which is only going to not work.

Live the life behind the turban of a gursikh, then you won't encounter these problems. Don't live with a chip on your shoulder, it is a bad idea and will only lead to more trouble down the road. Be a real man not just a cock and figure out where you stand.

You have chosen to live away from the community for whatever reasons and now are back to your roots. What makes you think they are going to accept you? Now you are back because you want punjabi babes and don't feel accepted, are you not being selfish?....It takes a lifetime to build friendships and connections within a commmunity, you can't just show up and expect to get those things.

You are 100% on when you say the perception of the turban is not good. I completly agree with you. The chicks don't dig it, if they do they are from religious backrounds. If the mainstream chicks like a turban is the like the england style trimmed bearded small turban playboy types who like to fool around, but they would never marry them only flirt.

So you need to be practical and look in the right places and start actually learning how to be a Sikh, otherwise you will only cause yourself more trouble. God hasn't made you want the company of a women, society has taught you that, you need the women to ease your desire and feed your ego that you are a man - Nothing else, it is the same with all men and women need a bank account and someones brain to eat up.

Don't mean to be harsh but, once you are married you will realize that it is not as good as you thought. Women are very controlling and will eat your brain and want you to do everything they want and not speak a word, otherwise they either get depressed or angry.

If you ask me, stay non-married, it will be good for your mental health.........women are annoying. Steer clear, do bhagtee and get free in this life..........BTW i am married with children so am not talking BS, take it from another brother, the humping (if they actually give it to you) isn't worth the time and money you are going to spend on the hoe. Run far , far away.

I am sure this post will has given you a different take on it. I am open for discussion..........

Another thing be carefull about India, most jatts are backwards and only want to come to Canada and will tell you everything you want to hear. There daughters will serve you good food and satisfy you in the bed initially but when they get the Kanada Visa, then you see there real colours. The jatts are actually very lowly in there thinking in this regard, they will even use there own daughters like prostitutes for a ticket to the west.

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Best post by Samosa Singh Jee. But in regards to your views on marriage I would say it is different from person to person. For some it may not be a great thing to do and may even regret it, but for some it was the best thing to have happened. Some guys get the ideal wives but some may not describe it so. So it is different from person to person.

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i have seen many sikhs advising here on this site not to get married.If this is going to happen then Sikhism will automatically cease to exist in 20-30 years as their will be no younger generation

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People are afraid of being burnt. But like samosasingh says, dedicate yourself to a Gursikh life and things begin to fall into place.

But he is also saying stay un married and I have seen several times on this site people have started promoting staying single.There is nothing wrong in being unmarried but if you promote this lifestyle then say good bye to your religion,society , culture because in 2-3 decades everything will cease to exist on its own

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But he is also saying stay un married and I have seen several times on this site people have started promoting staying single.There is nothing wrong in being unmarried but if you promote this lifestyle then say good bye to your religion,society , culture because in 2-3 decades everything will cease to exist on its own

You'll have to take that up with him.

In my opinion, remaining unmarried is a bit drastic. But for some people, life is one struggle after another. Surviving from day to day is a victory in itself. The last thing on their mind is the survival of their race or their religion. Sad as that sounds its true.

But like I said, the ideal solution is to find a life partner.

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I can sort of relate to the OP.

As many of you know, I started lifting weights early. If memory serves me correctly, I was the only Punjabi guy in my year who had gained some muscle as a consequence of weight training. I strictly remember, being told by many of my not so religious friends that if I didn't have a pugh, girls would line up every where I went. But, lucky for me, such things didn't bother me much. Looking back at it, am I glad and thank Satguru Jee for keeping me that way :)

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I haven't gone through the replies so my apologies if someone has already said this. In my opinion this issue might revolve more around what type of girl you are looking for. If you are looking for the typical 'punjabi' girl, I'm sorry but someone who ties their beard and has a dastaar is not what they are generally looking for.

If you are looking to marry a singhnee, or someone who is strong in their sikhi, the also might not be looking for a sardaar who ties his beard. You might be stuck in no man's land my friend.

There are some girls who don't mind marrying a sardaar with a tied beard, we have all seen this before. But the options seem a lot more limited.

My suggestion would be to open your dhardi, make your sikhi visible physically, try to get introduced to an amritdari bibi, or someone who is 'religious', and take it from there.

Reality is singhnees aren't attracted to the tied dhardi, and punjabi girls arent either.

Also, try going through family and friends to meet someone, doing it on your own rarely works.

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