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Disrespect To Turban At Gurdwara Matrimonials From Sikh Females

is there too much hate towards sikh turban in gurdwara matrimonials?  

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  1. 1. is there too much hate towards sikh turban from sikh females in gurdwara matrimonials?

    • yes
    • no
    • possibly
    • I do not know anything about gurdwara matrimonials


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You guys are missing the point.

What will eliminating the "prefer clean shaven" option from gurdwara matrimonials accomplish?

either:

1. No girls will be allowed to explicitly state their preference, but it won't matter because as soon as they see the guy is a pag wala, the talks will grind to a halt

2. Girls who are mostly or exclusively interested in clean shaven guys will stop using the matrimonial service. Then there will be like a half dozen people left using it and it'll be a complete joke.

In any case, the fundamental problem is left unaddressed:

How do we reverse this disturbing trend where the dhari and kesh have become extremely stigmatized in our community?

It is you who is missing the point.

Why should Gurdwara matrimonials be used by the girls and their families

to shamelessly and publically show their shameless preference for " clean shaven" sirgums.

There are heaps of other methods for these shameless people to get their shameless preferences.

THE MATRIMONIAL SERVICE IN GURDWARAS SHOULD ONLY BE FOR KESHDHARI TURBANNED SIKHS.

Please open another thread to discuss for your so called "fundamental problem."

I don't understand why some people want to over dramatize an issue by making statements

like " where the dhari and kesh have become extremely stigmatized in our community."

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It is you who is missing the point.

Why should Gurdwara matrimonials be used by the girls and their families

to shamelessly and publically show their shameless preference for " clean shaven" sirgums.

There are heaps of other methods for these shameless people to get their shameless preferences.

THE MATRIMONIAL SERVICE IN GURDWARAS SHOULD ONLY BE FOR KESHDHARI TURBANNED SIKHS.

Please open another thread to discuss for your so called "fundamental problem."

I don't understand why some people want to over dramatize an issue by making statements

like " where the dhari and kesh have become extremely stigmatized in our community."

I agree with you that it's a shameful thing, but what what will restricting the matrimonial service to keshdhari turbanned sikhs accomplish?

As I pointed out earlier, it would become a joke: there would be like 7 people registered

Doing what you suggest would put an end to the shameless public display of clean shaven preference in one specific matrimonial service. But will it do anything to address the root of the problem? No.

This issue is not being over dramatized by me or anyone else. If you don't think there's a huge stigma attached to keeping your kesh and dhari in our community, then you've been living in a cave.

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I agree with you that it's a shameful thing, but what what will restricting the matrimonial service to keshdhari turbanned sikhs accomplish?

As I pointed out earlier, it would become a joke: there would be like 7 people registered

Doing what you suggest would put an end to the shameless public display of clean shaven preference in one specific matrimonial service. But will it do anything to address the root of the problem? No.

This issue is not being over dramatized by me or anyone else. If you don't think there's a huge stigma attached to keeping your kesh and dhari in our community, then you've been living in a cave.

So you want the shamefulness to continue to get more low quality, anti Panthic matrimonials

to increase the numbers of these advertisements at our Gurdwaras. No thank you.

As for your other over dramatized observation, I thought of this today,

WE ARE THE SINGHS, WE ARE THE KINGS.

WE ARE THE SINGHS WHO ARE PROUD OF OUR CROWNS.

WE DON'T CARE LESS FOR THE DRAMA QUEENS,

WHO FROWN AT OUR CROWNS.

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I'll try and sound more serious next time but I wasn't joking I was serious.

Ban non keshdharis from the matrimonial service. You shouldn't be allowed to come to the Gurdwara and request to meet clean shaven people.

But at the same time as someone mentioned above you have the separate problem continuing that a lot of people are moving away from sikhi and that's something that needs to be worked on as well.

I think men in turbans always look good but like some mona men they don't care for their appearance generally and that is obviously not helpful but you should have enough love for your religion to want to a turbaned sikh over a mona anyday

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What will eliminating the "prefer clean shaven" option from gurdwara matrimonials accomplish?

either:

1. No girls will be allowed to explicitly state their preference, but it won't matter because as soon as they see the guy is a pag wala, the talks will grind to a halt

2. Girls who are mostly or exclusively interested in clean shaven guys will stop using the matrimonial service. Then there will be like a half dozen people left using it and it'll be a complete joke.

Right firstly, I think girls should be able to use the gurdwara matrimonial services if they have neutral thinking, in that they are ok with non-turbanned guys as long as they are fine with turbanned guys as well.

Secondly, if they don't like turbanned guys, then they should be told to go elsewhere as it amounts to discrimination and a behaviour not suitable in a gurdwara.

Lastly, being told this, some girls will actually think twice. The problem is, many of the girls are coconuts (in the USA you have ABCDs). If they are made to feel that its a really bad and discriminatory thing to look at turbans in a bad way, then it will help them gain respect for the turban.

The problem is, no one is stimulating the females brains, and helping them with etiquette.

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If the Gurdwara was a secular place, then you would be right, but the Gurdwara is the house of Satguru Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji Maharaj. Which means the Gurdwara committtee must only allow those ads that go by Gurmat. If a Sikh male or female wants a person with cut hair, then they can search for a partner using other methods, that accept their lifestyle. Sikhi does not accept the practice of cutting hair. People can make their choice without the Gurdwara harbouring practices against the Gurus teachings. Also if the Gurdwara didn't allow practices against the Gurus to be advertised, then there would be no misunderstanding on whether the person cuts hair or wears a turban when the two families meet.

I agree with the overall direction you are coming from on this Paji. These committee wale clowns who are allowing terms like "clean shaven" and "community" on Gurdwara matrimonial listings need to get their heads examined. The very maximum that can be tolerated to keep the non-Amritdhari majority of the community "sweet" would be to indicate in listings whether folks are Amritdhari, Kesdhari or Sehajdhari.

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Because I know what the turban means to a sikh, I truly respect it and think it is so distinguished! Even under my scarf I have adopted the turban...I know sounds so silly :-) but, it keeps my scarf on nicely and keeps my hair wrapped up so I'm not constantly fixing it...

But truly, on a sikh male....two thumbs up!

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I had another interesting thought, how about making all the males give photos only wearing turbans. Every sikh male can wear a turban and will be wearing on on Anand Karaj day, so this can be implemented and reduce problems of discrimination and disrespect significantly.

Here's an image of an "explanation" by the group admin: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=461054053922382&set=a.461053030589151.113619.256338197727303&type=1&theater&notif_t=photo_comment

Here is the group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/41021874437/?ref=ts

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I had another interesting thought, how about making all the males give photos only wearing turbans. Every sikh male can wear a turban and will be wearing on on Anand Karaj day, so this can be implemented and reduce problems of discrimination and disrespect significantly.

Here's an image of an "explanation" by the group admin: https://www.facebook...t=photo_comment

Here is the group:

https://www.facebook...1874437/?ref=ts

This is an interesting suggestion, but it won't work: it is easy to tell if someone is a full sardar or not by looking at the beard

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This is an interesting suggestion, but it won't work: it is easy to tell if someone is a full sardar or not by looking at the beard

Yes, but reducing disrespect towards turban is a start, and makes a huge difference.. Some girls are ignorant enough to disrespect on just the basis of wearing a turban.

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awwwwwww.. eni chinta :p

U cant stop somebody going to Gurudwara just because he is mona/ or a female have hair cut :omg:

U cant force anyone to keep hair :nono: coz our Guru never forced anyone :nono:

We as amritdhari - as Gursikhs cant say we only deserve the luv of Guru :respect:

Being a girl i can say that due to influence of society - Lifestyle - Modernization - things are changing.... so as the preferences n thinking :)

If u talk about boys - they also dont prefer turban wali kudiya then?? On this Forum some guy PM asked my details n even inquired that if i wear a turban or not... he said i dont prefer girl with turban but looking for amritdhari :p

its not that girls hate sardars but they prefer more dude type boys rather then babee - sorry no offenses :(

if a Sardar carries himself in a well tonned manner i dont think a girl with reject him :lol2:

i am one of them who want a sikh guy with long beards ... i think if i m existing then there will be more.... but the ratio of sardar preferind girl : Non Sardar Prefeing girl would be around 30:70

U cant blame only girls for what they r up to :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono:

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It doesnt just end at Gurdwara matrimonials...Our TV Channels are also letting us down. Take a look at Sangat TV matrimonial service it's exactly the same as the Gurdwara matrimonial lists. How can you on one side claim to promote Sikhi, then clearly allow discrimination against Sikhi saroop on the other side.

The Gurdwara commitee people are generally uneducated old generation pensioners, theyre not very clued up on current affairs or Sikhi, you'll probably find theyve failed to even pass Sikhi on to their own children..who in cases ive seen are clean shaven monay, daughters married out of religion and all sorts.. You cant rely on these sort of people to make the right decisions...

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It doesnt just end at Gurdwara matrimonials...Our TV Channels are also letting us down. Take a look at Sangat TV matrimonial service it's exactly the same as the Gurdwara matrimonial lists. How can you on one side claim to promote Sikhi, then clearly allow discrimination against Sikhi saroop on the other side.

The Gurdwara commitee people are generally uneducated old generation pensioners, theyre not very clued up on current affairs or Sikhi, you'll probably find theyve failed to even pass Sikhi on to their own children..who in cases ive seen are clean shaven monay, daughters married out of religion and all sorts.. You cant rely on these sort of people to make the right decisions...

We all know the problems. We need solutions. We need to kick out the Gurdwara Committee members who have no love for Sikhi.

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