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Disrespect To Turban At Gurdwara Matrimonials From Sikh Females

is there too much hate towards sikh turban in gurdwara matrimonials?  

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  1. 1. is there too much hate towards sikh turban from sikh females in gurdwara matrimonials?

    • yes
    • no
    • possibly
    • I do not know anything about gurdwara matrimonials


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no not all, there are actually girls from turban and amrit-dhari families who actually want guys to be trimmed darhi or even no turban! Seriously true!

I don't know much about this but it's intresting that you think girls from amritdhari families prefer money/ trim singhs, why would this be? I mean why would females who have been raised in such environments have a preference for partners who do not observe the faith like male members of their family?

I've noticed that as well. Although I suppose it works the other way as well in reference to guys.

How many Singhs would admit it?

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How many Singhs would admit it?

Not many I'm guessing. Depends on whether they're honest or not. Although I'm talking about keshdhari and not amritdhari.

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Not many I'm guessing. Depends on whether they're honest or not. Although I'm talking about keshdhari and not amritdhari.

Well I culturally prefer a long kesh girl, and that is before involving sikhi whatsoever. That is because long kesh girl has traditional understanding. But its difficult and so sometimes I have to look at girls that trim their hair as well but still respect Singhs. There are also long kesh girls that don't respect turban either. Also long kesh girls come from Singh as well as non-Singh families. But ones from non-Singh families are more likely to be traditional than not, but again respecting turban is a tradition the families forget to include.

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If the girl has postive experiences of her Dad and Brother wearing turbans then she's more likely to be attracted to a boy who has a turban. If her Dad and Brothers are monay, then she's highly likely to be attaracted to a monay boy. If here Dad and Brother wear turbans, but are plonkers, then she'll probably not want to marry a boy who wears a turban.

The issue is deeper than the girls vanity, some of it may be based on a lame collective portrayal of the modern male Sikh image by modern male Sikhs themselves. Saying that, I know a few girls from complete non-Gursikh backgrounds who married Singhs because they admired the inner and outher qualities of the Sikh roop.

The above is the most sensible point of the debate. You cant control the attraction switches in a female or blame them for feeling attracted to whatever they are... nor can you expect them to be attracted to sardars out of a sense of duty.

The responsibility lies with sardars to make themselves attractive, both inwardly and outwardly. The fact is, alot of sardars are not. Globally, our attractiveness as a group of people is actually pretty low... alot of this is associated with the behaivour and attributes associated with our brand.

We have to take responsiblity for this ourselves.

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Regarding the point about matrimoinals, I think that the Gurdwara has to point out differences and preferences. Regardless of whether or not they are in keeping with Sikhi, these differences and preferences are important to the Community itself, hence the reason that they have been highlighted in the first place. Plus, regardless of whether you agree with it or not, people should be allowed to make the choices they want. It also avoids problems and misunderstandings later down the line when the families and/or individuals meet.

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Regarding the point about matrimoinals, I think that the Gurdwara has to point out differences and preferences. Regardless of whether or not they are in keeping with Sikhi, these differences and preferences are important to the Community itself, hence the reason that they have been highlighted in the first place. Plus, regardless of whether you agree with it or not, people should be allowed to make the choices they want. It also avoids problems and misunderstandings later down the line when the families and/or individuals meet.

If the Gurdwara was a secular place, then you would be right, but the Gurdwara is the house of Satguru Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji Maharaj. Which means the Gurdwara committtee must only allow those ads that go by Gurmat. If a Sikh male or female wants a person with cut hair, then they can search for a partner using other methods, that accept their lifestyle. Sikhi does not accept the practice of cutting hair. People can make their choice without the Gurdwara harbouring practices against the Gurus teachings. Also if the Gurdwara didn't allow practices against the Gurus to be advertised, then there would be no misunderstanding on whether the person cuts hair or wears a turban when the two families meet.

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the problem is, the gurdwara is not promoting enough respect or duty towards turban. Also there is not enough parchar and awareness about the lack of respect toward turban WITHIN the gurdwara and gurdwara matrimonials, and that the people who join and promote this anti - turban sentiment aren't made aware of what they are doing!

They are coming to gurdwara to ask for marriage, yet aren't showing respect to guru or community! And this is not on high alert either, the sikh channels and radio stations barely touch on this subject. The problem is increasing but why are the gurdwaras involved in increasing this?

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Got to agree with some of the sentiments expressed in this post, Gurdwaras should not be involved in anti-dastaar activities. Anyone looking for a non-dastaar wearing partner should employ other means to find one. The very form/identity of a Sikh is that of the kesh and dastaar.

In the 52 Hukams Of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji we find the following, there is no real argument here, it's clearly an anti-Sikh, anti-gurmat activity to promote and encouage Sikhs to have non-Sikhi saroop partners, the almost certian effect of this is the next generation, i.e: children of such couples will most like be non-Sikhi saroop as well...and so the effects are much bigger than just this generation...

"Sir munae noo kanaiaa nahi daeni. Uos ghar daevni jithae Akal Purukh di sikhi ha, jo karzaai naa hovae, bhalae subhaa da hovae, bibaeki atae gyanvaan hovae -"

Do not give a daughter's hand to a clean shaven. Give her hand in a house where God's Sikhi exists, where the household is not in debt, is of a good nature, is disciplined and knowledgeable.

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It is very simple, but, we choose to complicate because we can !

Gurdwaras and their committees exist to promote Sikhi as according to the Akal Takht Mayada -whilst Sikhi promotes equality amongst all of humanity, it does NOT allow the promotion of anti Sikh tenants.

The very nerve of stupid people (exceptionally) to ask for clean shaven boys is blasphemeous.

My local gurdwara, Singh Sabha, southall Has a marriage service. Very well run. Unfortunately it allows anti-distaar requirements from prospective girls.

I need backup against the anti dasam Granth heretic committee to ensure they only allow positive promotion of the distaar -please post me for a peaceful demonstration.

Gurfateh

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It is very simple, but, we choose to complicate because we can !

Gurdwaras and their committees exist to promote Sikhi as according to the Akal Takht Mayada -whilst Sikhi promotes equality amongst all of humanity, it does NOT allow the promotion of anti Sikh tenants.

The very nerve of stupid people (exceptionally) to ask for clean shaven boys is blasphemeous.

My local gurdwara, Singh Sabha, southall Has a marriage service. Very well run. Unfortunately it allows anti-distaar requirements from prospective girls.

I need backup against the anti dasam Granth heretic committee to ensure they only allow positive promotion of the distaar -please post me for a peaceful demonstration.

Gurfateh

Did you get my message?

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https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=461054053922382&set=a.461053030589151.113619.256338197727303&type=1&theater

TURBAN DISCRIMINATION IN THE LARGEST GURDWARA IN EUROPE: A turbanned male was banned from the Singh Sabha Havelock Southall matrimonials Facebook group, for promoting respect for turban and expressing the amount of discrimination against turbans promoted by many of the female members of the service, for which this gurdwara service doesn't bat an eyelid. The image above shows another member arguing with group admin against the ban, instead of receiving an answer to his 2nd post, he was also subsequently banned. The matrimonial service is held INSIDE the gurdwara, so Guru Granth Sahib is parkash is on the floor above the service.

Link to group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/41021874437/?ref=ts

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Why on Earth is Havelock Road Gurdwara even letting a Sikh and 'Hindu' Matrimonial Service to take place. It's a Gurdwara for heavens sakes, why is it providing services for Hindus? No offence to Hindus but obviously by doing this, we are bound to have problems arise like this one.

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If hostlity towards turban is being allowed in the gurdwara, at such high numbers (I have evidence of the high numbers which I will hopefully upload on the net soon), then what does that say for the future?

I am pretty sure the sangat at the gurdwaras, such as the Havelock Singh Sabha Southall which would have a huge number in sangat, are mostly unaware of these services promoting such turban hostility inside gurdwara sahibs right below the sangats' noses. If only there was a way of making it sangat knowledge of what happens inside the gurdwara, although it doesn't happen behind closed doors, its still goes unnoticed. But seriously, the numbers are shocking!!!!

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