Guru_Da_Chella

Disrespect To Turban At Gurdwara Matrimonials From Sikh Females

is there too much hate towards sikh turban in gurdwara matrimonials?   90 members have voted

  1. 1. is there too much hate towards sikh turban from sikh females in gurdwara matrimonials?

    • yes
    • no
    • possibly
    • I do not know anything about gurdwara matrimonials

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85 posts in this topic

Why don't Sikh girls go to clubs then why even consider stepping into a gurdwara when they clealry state 'I don't want a Sikh turban guy' they might as well marry out of religion anyway I have never heard of matrimonials going on in gurdware doesn't even sound right, forgive me I live in the midlands!

Any Sikh girl who disrespects ain't a Sikh! End of you have to earn being a Sikh doesn't come with birth just becuse one is born into a Sikh family, like everything in life earn and the rewards are great also I see many people who are hypocrites and wear long khande chains and smoking what the hell!

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I voted the last option since I have never seen a matrimonial program in a gurdwara, but based upon opinions about people on here I would vote the first option yes!

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One of the biggest matrimonial programmes are at the Havelock Southall Singh Sabha gurdwara! We need to instigate some sort of monitoring on these matrimonials. The Uncle jee sevadaars are Sardars there but I have not seen any regular young sardar sewadaars on the programme.

But this should not happen in sacred places like gurdwaras. I cannot believe no one is talking about this issue?!

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I came to visit southall once and I went to Gurdwara Singh Sabha but I want to clarify because I don't know the area at all but is it that big gurdwara on the corner it's massive inside huge langer hall, tv screens I have never seen such a big gurdwara is that the gurdwara doing these matrimonials?

It shouldn't happen in sacred places it sounds like blind date or something, it's wrong on so many levels. We go gurdwara to listen to gurbani not to search for partners!

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well since people are finding it difficult, gurdwara is only trying to help. With all the hating going on towards turbans, isn't it obvious why people are finding it difficult to get married? These youth don't even respect their own culture, you think they can decide a suitable marital partner?

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The outside means nothing, it is the purity of the inside that matters- these girls are judging people on outer appearances- that is a maya fuelled choice to make...

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Whose beauitful and whose ugly? Those are beauitful that wear and carry the jewel of waheguru. The rest god help those whose ego is so big filled with greed, they have a need for money and want someone beauitful, but they themselves are ugly and therefore not worthy of someone whose beauitful.

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What kind of hate is going on? Matrimonials usually have a preference for clean shaven, sardar, or amritdhari. I find the caste listings to be extremely disappointing, especially since the matrimonials are associated with the gurdawara. Sikhi is totally against caste. Gurdwaras should know better. One piece of advice to fellow sardars... some of us need to take more pride in our appearance. We are kings and we should present ourselves in that manner. Take pride when dressing up `and tying your dastaar. It goes a long way.

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I think the problem is worse than caste. Its obvious that a lot of females joining matrimonials at different gurdwaras have an extreme dislike for turbans.

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Yes I have discovered the anti-turban thinking in both Singh Sabha and Ramgharia gurdwaras, therefore caste is not the problem towards lack of respect to turban from sikh people mainly girls but also from guys as well!

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If the girl has postive experiences of her Dad and Brother wearing turbans then she's more likely to be attracted to a boy who has a turban. If her Dad and Brothers are monay, then she's highly likely to be attaracted to a monay boy. If here Dad and Brother wear turbans, but are plonkers, then she'll probably not want to marry a boy who wears a turban.

The issue is deeper than the girls vanity, some of it may be based on a lame collective portrayal of the modern male Sikh image by modern male Sikhs themselves. Saying that, I know a few girls from complete non-Gursikh backgrounds who married Singhs because they admired the inner and outher qualities of the Sikh roop.

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Don't girls from turban wearing families like turbaned men?

no not all, there are actually girls from turban and amrit-dhari families who actually want guys to be trimmed darhi or even no turban! Seriously true!

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no not all, there are actually girls from turban and amrit-dhari families who actually want guys to be trimmed darhi or even no turban! Seriously true!

I've noticed that as well. Although I suppose it works the other way as well in reference to guys.

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no not all, there are actually girls from turban and amrit-dhari families who actually want guys to be trimmed darhi or even no turban! Seriously true!

I don't know much about this but it's intresting that you think girls from amritdhari families prefer money/ trim singhs, why would this be? I mean why would females who have been raised in such environments have a preference for partners who do not observe the faith like male members of their family?

I've noticed that as well. Although I suppose it works the other way as well in reference to guys.

How many Singhs would admit it?

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How many Singhs would admit it?

Not many I'm guessing. Depends on whether they're honest or not. Although I'm talking about keshdhari and not amritdhari.

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Not many I'm guessing. Depends on whether they're honest or not. Although I'm talking about keshdhari and not amritdhari.

Well I culturally prefer a long kesh girl, and that is before involving sikhi whatsoever. That is because long kesh girl has traditional understanding. But its difficult and so sometimes I have to look at girls that trim their hair as well but still respect Singhs. There are also long kesh girls that don't respect turban either. Also long kesh girls come from Singh as well as non-Singh families. But ones from non-Singh families are more likely to be traditional than not, but again respecting turban is a tradition the families forget to include.

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If the girl has postive experiences of her Dad and Brother wearing turbans then she's more likely to be attracted to a boy who has a turban. If her Dad and Brothers are monay, then she's highly likely to be attaracted to a monay boy. If here Dad and Brother wear turbans, but are plonkers, then she'll probably not want to marry a boy who wears a turban.

The issue is deeper than the girls vanity, some of it may be based on a lame collective portrayal of the modern male Sikh image by modern male Sikhs themselves. Saying that, I know a few girls from complete non-Gursikh backgrounds who married Singhs because they admired the inner and outher qualities of the Sikh roop.

The above is the most sensible point of the debate. You cant control the attraction switches in a female or blame them for feeling attracted to whatever they are... nor can you expect them to be attracted to sardars out of a sense of duty.

The responsibility lies with sardars to make themselves attractive, both inwardly and outwardly. The fact is, alot of sardars are not. Globally, our attractiveness as a group of people is actually pretty low... alot of this is associated with the behaivour and attributes associated with our brand.

We have to take responsiblity for this ourselves.

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Regarding the point about matrimoinals, I think that the Gurdwara has to point out differences and preferences. Regardless of whether or not they are in keeping with Sikhi, these differences and preferences are important to the Community itself, hence the reason that they have been highlighted in the first place. Plus, regardless of whether you agree with it or not, people should be allowed to make the choices they want. It also avoids problems and misunderstandings later down the line when the families and/or individuals meet.

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Regarding the point about matrimoinals, I think that the Gurdwara has to point out differences and preferences. Regardless of whether or not they are in keeping with Sikhi, these differences and preferences are important to the Community itself, hence the reason that they have been highlighted in the first place. Plus, regardless of whether you agree with it or not, people should be allowed to make the choices they want. It also avoids problems and misunderstandings later down the line when the families and/or individuals meet.

If the Gurdwara was a secular place, then you would be right, but the Gurdwara is the house of Satguru Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji Maharaj. Which means the Gurdwara committtee must only allow those ads that go by Gurmat. If a Sikh male or female wants a person with cut hair, then they can search for a partner using other methods, that accept their lifestyle. Sikhi does not accept the practice of cutting hair. People can make their choice without the Gurdwara harbouring practices against the Gurus teachings. Also if the Gurdwara didn't allow practices against the Gurus to be advertised, then there would be no misunderstanding on whether the person cuts hair or wears a turban when the two families meet.

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I wonder why do gurdwara matrimonial even carry profiles of people not wearing wanting to marry turbaned Sikhs?

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the problem is, the gurdwara is not promoting enough respect or duty towards turban. Also there is not enough parchar and awareness about the lack of respect toward turban WITHIN the gurdwara and gurdwara matrimonials, and that the people who join and promote this anti - turban sentiment aren't made aware of what they are doing!

They are coming to gurdwara to ask for marriage, yet aren't showing respect to guru or community! And this is not on high alert either, the sikh channels and radio stations barely touch on this subject. The problem is increasing but why are the gurdwaras involved in increasing this?

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Got to agree with some of the sentiments expressed in this post, Gurdwaras should not be involved in anti-dastaar activities. Anyone looking for a non-dastaar wearing partner should employ other means to find one. The very form/identity of a Sikh is that of the kesh and dastaar.

In the 52 Hukams Of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji we find the following, there is no real argument here, it's clearly an anti-Sikh, anti-gurmat activity to promote and encouage Sikhs to have non-Sikhi saroop partners, the almost certian effect of this is the next generation, i.e: children of such couples will most like be non-Sikhi saroop as well...and so the effects are much bigger than just this generation...

"Sir munae noo kanaiaa nahi daeni. Uos ghar daevni jithae Akal Purukh di sikhi ha, jo karzaai naa hovae, bhalae subhaa da hovae, bibaeki atae gyanvaan hovae -"

Do not give a daughter's hand to a clean shaven. Give her hand in a house where God's Sikhi exists, where the household is not in debt, is of a good nature, is disciplined and knowledgeable.

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