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Disrespect To Turban At Gurdwara Matrimonials From Sikh Females


Guru_Da_Chella
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is there too much hate towards sikh turban in gurdwara matrimonials?  

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  1. 1. is there too much hate towards sikh turban from sikh females in gurdwara matrimonials?

    • yes
    • no
    • possibly
    • I do not know anything about gurdwara matrimonials


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I just saw someone start a similar thread here: http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/75142-girls-views-on-guys-with-turbans

I said I would upload a list of the problem, this list is from Singh Sabha Havelock Southall from 2011. You will see on the very first page that there are 2 women that are actually over 40 that dislike/hate turbans! You will see girls with mixed preferences, but bare in mind the ages of them as well. Obviously some of them may change their preferences as they get old and desperate, but look there are two 40 year olds that still hate turbans, so who knows?

I haven't heard anything and have not been actively involved recently, I wonder if anything has been sorted in this gurdwara and in others that partake in similar activities.

NOTE TO ADMIN: If there is any problem with the list just let me know so I can edit it, it is not a list of recent members, and contains no forenames!

Interesting the use of the "caste preference" column despite it being a Gurdwara list. Surely they shouldn't have that there in the first place? Disappointing.

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  • 2 years later...
On 10/06/2013 at 3:06 AM, genie said:

 

Too often females are put off because they see guys in beards and turbans acting like clowns or morons. If a guy doesnt respect his own religious dastaar and dhari and takes it in places like clubs, pubs,etc then dont expect anyone else to.

There is the double standard the girls want the clubbing pubbing type of 'dude' but if he is a dastaarwale she condemns him because he's not supposed to do that .

Maybe the point is to run a pre marriage course for singletons to understand what sikh marriage and life values are and why BEFORE or as a CONDITION of signing onto the service . The attitude is the key .

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Maybe I'm out of the loop on this one, but can someone explain to me why Gursikhs of a marriageable age would object to a dastaar wearing girl? What are they teaching them in their little sects these days? How has something that use to be an honourable and positive sign ended up being viewed as a negative? 

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Guest Jacfsing2

If these people aren't Amritdhari, (the men), then what is logically stopping them from marrying non-Sikh women? Personally, I think it's more logical for them to go that route than to be depressed about keeping Kesh for some Punjabi girl. I don't want to say anything negative, but it is extremely unlikely that some Amritdhari Kaur would marry a Keshdhari with the gender ratio of Amritdharis going in that direction and the fact that Keshdharis seem to still drink and some of them eat Non-Jhatka meat, (as long as they aren't some Anti-Jhatka Sikhs like some people on this site), at times. I really don't who somebody wants to marry in some other part of the society, (unless maybe I've liked the person, then that person should be me):@. Maybe they can make Non-Sikhs interested in Sikhi from their Rishta.

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Guest Jacfsing2
12 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Maybe I'm out of the loop on this one, but can someone explain to me why Gursikhs of a marriageable age would object to a dastaar wearing girl? What are they teaching them in their little sects these days? How has something that use to be an honourable and positive sign ended up being viewed as a negative? 

Keski on women is associated with a particular Jatha, (not going to mention it), and this Jatha has some things the other Gursikhs family doesn't agree with: (Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji's Last Ang for example). Or it they are Sunday Sikhs or generic Amritdharis they probably are expecting someone to be like their spouse to be like their female relatives, (cutting Kesh on the Skin and face), sometimes among Keshdharis men they can't stand women having any kesh on anything but the head, and sadly it's coming from even Amritdharis. It's one thing to not exactly like someone with excessive Kesh on the face; however, every human on the planet grows Kesh on the Rom, (skin), but not everyone grows Kesh on face. There is no excuse for denying a woman with skin Kesh, since the only way she couldn't have skin Kesh was waxing or laser. 

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8 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Keski on women is associated with a particular Jatha, (not going to mention it), and this Jatha has some things the other Gursikhs family doesn't agree with: (Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji's Last Ang for example). Or it they are Sunday Sikhs or generic Amritdharis they probably are expecting someone to be like their spouse to be like their female relatives, (cutting Kesh on the Skin and face), sometimes among Keshdharis men they can't stand women having any kesh on anything but the head, and sadly it's coming from even Amritdharis. It's one thing to not exactly like someone with excessive Kesh on the face; however, every human on the planet grows Kesh on the Rom, (skin), but not everyone grows Kesh on face. There is no excuse for denying a woman with skin Kesh, since the only way she couldn't have skin Kesh was waxing or laser. 

It's all head spinning. I can only imagine what someone must think who's trying to get a foothold in the faith. Mixed signals and confusion all the way.

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Guest Jacfsing2
26 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

It's all head spinning. I can only imagine what someone must think who's trying to get a foothold in the faith. Mixed signals and confusion all the way.

I wish I could say that Jatha doesn't matter for somebody like like me, but that's a bit too idealist; even for the rest of Panth I truly wish that could be the case, in this era of extreme intolerance among little issues which causes people to take out 3 ft. dull Kirpans and fighting each other over them. I know there would be marital problems for some guy like me if I were to hypothetically marry such a person associated with the Jatha I'm talking about, (forgive me for being realist), we'd fight everyday over a tiny issue like Jhatka,(which I have a history on this website for being the only one that is neutral to my views, but to everyone else I'm the most bias to the view on the pro-Jhatka side), so inter-jatha; or if I don't agree with your Jatha, marriage is really not for me, and the most I'll ever address you is as a sister. And let's not even get started on serious topics, which could cause chaos for me. (Though those Non-associated with that Jhatha would be fine.) Vaheguru forgive me for not being some hippy all-love Sikh, for just mentioning actual facts of the case.

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all these problems are cuz of jatha culture.

Don't matter what you do and what divides you break, the manukhs will always go form another division

When trying to make decisions> use your sikhi and gurbani to get your answers. The jatha is not your sikhi, just like caste is not your sikhi.

 

 

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