Caste Problem In Love Marriage

[jaswinder singh]

I have been reading the responses, all going away from the problem, only trying to show holier than thou attitude

why not address the problem and surfing around :-

1 Is intercast marriage is allowed in Sikh faith ? yes , why then parents oppose it ? that is the big question .

2 Is bride & groom's consent is compulsory in nupital matters ? yes according to rehat maryada the Granthi before starting the Anand karaj proceedingsasks both Bride & groom to bow their head befor SGGS if they agree to the relation only then he proceeds further - then why parents become adamant on their choice only even when the person going into marriage does not agrees to ?

3 If parents are not following the tenets of Sikhi , should the offsprings not ask them to be on the right path ?

4 Is premarital sex allowed in our faith ? No it is not , sex outside wedlock is one of the five taboos in our faith , then as dscribed in many posts

why many amritdhari youngs indulge in it, knowing that it is not supposed to be exercised ?

We need to find answers to these questions , please introspect , parents & the yuth both have to think on it , where everyone is going wrong

. and amend ourselves in the light of Gurbani

[DalbirSingh]

what a mammas boy

He didn't ask his mum before he slept with you

[DalbirSingh]

Answers to your questions

1) although intercaste marriage is allowed people feel sikhi just opened a door of tolerance between castes, but the gurus and great sikhs only married into their own castes, plus political/social structures we have are still caste based and we do discriminate per caste still till today, we got to many backwards pendos who can't remember anything about sarbat da pala but remember something which is thousands of years old, plus they have invented there own caste system jatts and tarkhans were never on top, brahmins were then khatris. Harsh punishment was given to the hill chiefs over caste which resulted in a great war, if maharaj wanted caste he would have givien the hill chiefs there caste and he would still have all of his 4 sons plus with the hill chiefs he could have over thrown the mughals. People assert this otherness and otherism almost a racism and negative skewed perceptions per caste, it effects us the guys who don't even believe in caste we abstain from relations with guys who believe too much into it almost carving out our own category or caste. People assert a form of pride or betterment to the social status plus the friend social circles that opens.

2) the parents have right over the choice of marriage simply because money is involved a girl from a low poor caste can marry a rich caste and basically gold digg then you have guys looking for suggamamas with the high castes, the boys parents intervene because they don't want any slag just taking their son and their money, plus house. Even though we haven't established respect between our differences of ancestory which do time to time effect our behaviour such as paag style, punjabi words, body language even friend + family circles.

3) parents bringing you into this world have done something for you which you can never pay back, even if you are a gursikh you can do benti you can't force them into anything they are still authoratitve over you grand gursikhs have had hindu mothers and fathers didn't stop them from respecting their parents. Since as a gursikh you spend alot of time around your parents and they know you well if you live your sikhi that can be enough from the difference it does in your life to invite them into the path otherwise you should respect the position of your parents and the choice you have and they have the freedom over all.

4) Amritdharis are humans as well they get lustful and attractive all the tv of everyone doing the jiggy jiggy is applying social pressure, humans by nature are made to reproduce it's a basic instinct just like eating, but we have ceremonies that make the place and time right such as after wedlock placing all the economic factors into place so each one can't cheat on the other. If you read chattrianpakhian you get an idea why sleeping around commiting adultery is bad.

[DalbirSingh]

We also have alot of vilification going on in our minds here are some typical stereotypes formed to the point we see each other as different humans or of different religions and different values

typical jatt (zeemandhar/kisan)

http://www.comments20.com/punjabi/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Jaswinder-Bhalla-13.jpg

typical tarkhan (ramgharia)

http://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/archive/londonsvoices/web/images/photos/hunjanms01.jpg

typical papaa (khatri/kshaytria/aroras)

http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc7/373595_396416497086330_656852293_n.jpg

[jaswinder singh]

Answers to your questions

1) although intercaste marriage is allowed people feel sikhi just opened a door of tolerance between castes, but the gurus and great sikhs only married into their own castes, plus political/social structures we have are still caste based and we do discriminate per caste still till today, we got to many backwards pendos who can't remember anything about sarbat da pala but remember something which is thousands of years old, plus they have invented there own caste system jatts and tarkhans were never on top, brahmins were then khatris. Harsh punishment was given to the hill chiefs over caste which resulted in a great war, if maharaj wanted caste he would have givien the hill chiefs there caste and he would still have all of his 4 sons plus with the hill chiefs he could have over thrown the mughals. People assert this otherness and otherism almost a racism and negative skewed perceptions per caste, it effects us the guys who don't even believe in caste we abstain from relations with guys who believe too much into it almost carving out our own category or caste. People assert a form of pride or betterment to the social status plus the friend social circles that opens.

2) the parents have right over the choice of marriage simply because money is involved a girl from a low poor caste can marry a rich caste and basically gold digg then you have guys looking for suggamamas with the high castes, the boys parents intervene because they don't want any slag just taking their son and their money, plus house. Even though we haven't established respect between our differences of ancestory which do time to time effect our behaviour such as paag style, punjabi words, body language even friend + family circles.

3) parents bringing you into this world have done something for you which you can never pay back, even if you are a gursikh you can do benti you can't force them into anything they are still authoratitve over you grand gursikhs have had hindu mothers and fathers didn't stop them from respecting their parents. Since as a gursikh you spend alot of time around your parents and they know you well if you live your sikhi that can be enough from the difference it does in your life to invite them into the path otherwise you should respect the position of your parents and the choice you have and they have the freedom over all.

4) Amritdharis are humans as well they get lustful and attractive all the tv of everyone doing the jiggy jiggy is applying social pressure, humans by nature are made to reproduce it's a basic instinct just like eating, but we have ceremonies that make the place and time right such as after wedlock placing all the economic factors into place so each one can't cheat on the other. If you read chattrianpakhian you get an idea why sleeping around commiting adultery is bad.

Sorry friend, in the name of amswering the questions raised in my post , we are revolvin in circles without getting to the root cause ,

weall follow those teachings of the gurus we find paletable according to to our mind set folliw and ignore those which are not liked by us

,the youths seeing our hypocrisy tend to go their own way , so what i meant to say is , follow the teachings of the Gurus in letter & spirit

[ not selectively ]only then will we set example for the next gen , if we are not ready to shed caste system , why blame the great /gurus?

are we teaching this to our kids ? thet why blame them for what they feel about us ?

Even our Gurus never forced their views on their children then why should we ? why do we want a 20 - 25 y o to behave like zombie in

front of parents , why he cannot reason his pov? why the parents should not listen to valid reason ?that is ridiculous , two wrongs do not

add to one right , parents and children both have to rethink their attitude, albeit in the light of Gurmat , that would only solve the problem

i noted my response to 6 month old thread only 'cause the issue is always relevent , else the involved persons may have found out the solution

already

please do not agonise if my words look harsh , only think over it

fateh

/

[DalbirSingh]

what can you do if people find pride in their ancestry we say sikhi is our ancestry and take pride in that others have subsetted that.

The only solution to ending the caste system is by intermarrying some already have we have sikhs with mixed ancestors let them keep intermarrying, marry your kids inbetween yourself if you can't help being forced into a caste marriage.

[Guest lovepreet]

all of the above things are just rubbish..bullsh**!! what i belive is...if u want to marry..go ahead!! your happiness is more important than any other's happiness...It's not always that parents sacrifice and do alot for their children..!! children equally do for their parents as well...!!Atleast,parent's should understand their child happiness...then only their children will understand their problems,their feelings..!!....I wil pray for you that may waheguru..get you out of this...and pls dont listen any of us...listen your heart..bcoz waheguru,gurudwara mai nhi....dil wich hondaa hai:)