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Breaking Of An Engagement


london001
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Listen if lieing is a big deal for you then you are right do not nor marry her, and do not have a 2nd thought about it just forget it.

Also do not feel sorry for her just becuase she is from India, alot of people from india live a better standard of life then people in the UK. The question of beasti can be solved by the girls parents by just saying the guy in the UK did not want to marry and leave it at that. In my experience people from India especially the younger people think NRI's are stuipid and they ( the people from india) are much more clever and wise etc, they do this and try and take advantge. Espesially the freshies here in the UK they think they alot more astute, and devious then anyone else and no-one can work them out!. The question of Sikh rights has come up, yes I understand this issue but if you look at Sikhs in Inida today a good percentage of youth sadly do not care, the men just cut there hair I have spoken to freshies here in the UK and I get the impression that people do not care about SIkh rights. People in india care about MONEY and getting out of Punjab in anyway possible and 98% of the time its not because they are being persacuted in anyway. Look at the young people that go to Gurudwara programmes they are Sikhs that have been born in the UK, hardly any freshies, whats stopping them from following Sikhism in the UK!

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You my friend seems to be bothered by either way you move on this situation. NOw you did make a move and you are still bothered by it.

The solution is in two ways.

1. move on with your search of girls and start conversations at other places. That will get you in different boat of thoughts and take your mind off of the past situation and plus you may find a suitable girl this time. But please don't apply the same situations/cautions with next girl as all the humans are not same. Whatever you do now, consider it as fresh start. We, as humans, do tend to apply our past learnings into new situations even if they may not be relavant anymore. Every new girl you meet, is not going to be the girls you met before. There would be new kind of situations you would have to deal with.

2. or you can put the thought of finding a girl on hold for sometime. Enjoy your life and do other things in your life which demand your attention. Growing in your SIKHI could always use your time more efficitenly.

hope it helped.

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1. move on with your search of girls and start conversations at other places. That will get you in different boat of thoughts and take your mind off of the past situation and plus you may find a suitable girl this time. But please don't apply the same situations/cautions with next girl as all the humans are not same. Whatever you do now, consider it as fresh start. We, as humans, do tend to apply our past learnings into new situations even if they may not be relavant anymore. Every new girl you meet, is not going to be the girls you met before. There would be new kind of situations you would have to deal with.

hope it helped.

very good replies... Please do note Phaenji's perfect advice..

There are plenty of marriages with indian girls that do work out and you shouldn't be put off from marrying in india. Just perhaps not maybe to this girl.

Completely agree.. if i were you, i would follow the above advice.. Look around a lot and then make ur mind.. talk via email/phone for at least a year before making any big decision.

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The question of Sikh rights has come up,

No. it didn't. I mentioned it in passing but the gist of my point was more to do with how a degree in Punjab is beneficial to everyone except rural Jatt Sikhs. Urban Sikh groups in Punjab get jobs with their degrees. Backward rural Punjab groups get jobs with their degrees through govt quotas which are set aside for them. A rural jatt sikh in punjab can do and pass a dozen degrees but he / she doesn't stand a chance in hell of landing a job. Therefore a degree is seen as a worthless commodity. Therefore, I can see how the girl in this scenario saw it as a minor point not worthy of calling off a marriage for.

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No. it didn't. I mentioned it in passing but the gist of my point was more to do with how a degree in Punjab is beneficial to everyone except rural Jatt Sikhs. Urban Sikh groups in Punjab get jobs with their degrees. Backward rural Punjab groups get jobs with their degrees through govt quotas which are set aside for them. A rural jatt sikh in punjab can do and pass a dozen degrees but he / she doesn't stand a chance in hell of landing a job. Therefore a degree is seen as a worthless commodity. Therefore, I can see how the girl in this scenario saw it as a minor point not worthy of calling off a marriage for.

Veere,

Getting a degree in Punjab/India is no big deal. There are so many private institutes that have opened up in the last decade that one can easily get a degree. One can easily BRIBE and get the solutions of examinations. One can even get PHD degree by paying money and getting the reseach done. There are so many engineering colleges in Punjab, that without even getting a CET Rank, one can become an engineer.

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