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I Need Your Help


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Sangat ji im currently stuck in horrible place. I'm a amritdhari sikh and i'm 16 turning 17 in a few months. I took amrit a few years back when i was 10 years old, and for the first 4-5 years after that i was perfectly fine. Recently i've been feeling absolutely horrible, I feel depressed beyond words. I'm doing horrible in school, im constantly angry, frustrated, or depressed to the point where i no longer want to live. I've become such a horrible sikh that i fail to my nitnem on somedays. My parents are constantly having arguments with me, and i feel like they think of me as a failure. Each and everyday is becoming more and more of a struggle. I've done ardaas countless times and things are still getting worse day by day. I simple want a way out of this dark pit i'm falling into. Please help me.. I need your advice.

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Guest shastr

hey bhaji, you prolly already know what im about to tell you in this post, but idk, coudnt think of anything else to say, and also didnt want to leave this thread un-answered cuz daas too feels this way. especially for past few months, beeen having same story. so yea, can relate to you bhaji. but the only thing i can say is that the best way to avoid arguments or fighting with parents is to just stay quiet, no matter if its your fault or not. they say "ek chup, tey sau sukh". meaning the act of keeping your mouth shut will lead you to a great amout of ease in life. but half to admit, it does take some time to adopt this. they are our parents and its their right to scold us. they gave birth to us, we didnt give birth to them. so yea, telling off ur parents and arguing with them is deff. a big no no. some people are prolly reading this and shaking their head no, but its true. the only reason our parents yell at us or say stuff to us is becasue they care about us and they dont want us to go down the wrong path. in most situations, parents see them selves when they look at their kids, doing the same things they used to do when they were at that age. and most parents dont want their kids to follow in their footsteps. so this is why they yell at us, cuz they are emotional for us and they love us. lol jeez that sounds soooo weak, but its true.

and the part about being depressed...hmmm. one word: SANGAT.

bhaji, we need sangat around us. being alone all the time sucks, and then one's mind is alwasy thinking of stuff that is really not even important. being around a group of people we like is what gives the mind a chance to shut up and hear what others have to say. which is the purpose of sangat. comeing together like a big family. but if your alone, try listening to kirtan or katha. (works for me)

just keep going bhaji. life will only get harder before it gets easier. in order to gain things in life, we must learn to let go of stuff. and the truth is that these hard times are actually building up our character. keep pumping us up for something more big to come. there is that one saying, the harder the winds come towards you, they will only teach you how to fly better.

so yea, ur not alone bhaji. we are all going thru these types of times. just keep your head up. we supposed to represent guru gobind singh ji, we lions man. dont care for the small things in life. look at the big picture. we sons of a king. and kings give their throne to their sons, but we will have to earn it.

ok, i will shut up now. sorry for such a long post. lol, i was telling you about how to stay quiet, and look at how much i talk. waheguru!!!

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Shastr jee, have to say, you are somewhat funny. hey thanx for making me smile. I am in terrible state right now as well.

I am commenting on this thread because I am at both ends of it, a parent and a daughter to the parents who wanted the best out of this daughter. I don't think I disappointed my parents and I hope my kids would not disappoint me either.

Today is especially a tough day for me, as my son appeared in some sikh symposium and didn't get any award. he worked hard for it and I worked double hard than he did being a parent. He is discouraged, threw away the participation trophy he got and hid away the ones he got previous years too. Those trophies lost meaning to him, the symposium lost meaning to him and he said "whats the point when stupid judges cann't even see how much you worked for it". I know I didn't like any of those actions he did, I didn't like him saying that he never wanna participate in the symposium competition ever again.

But i told him, SINGHS dont' give up. Singhs dont' quit. SINGHS get up and get ready to compete even with more power (mental or physical) than ever before. If failure should teach us anything, that should be to work harder next time and don't give the judges a single chance to not to select you. BE the best.

Now commenting on shastr bhaji's comments. YEs, parents love you, thats why you are the one they care about and you are the one they push to work harder, because they wanna see you succeed. They wanna see you the best out there. yes, sometimes you would fail to succeed according to their dreams, but that doesn't mean they will tell you "son, koi naa, fail hoyee jaa, koi gal nahi". INFACT, nobody would say that. WE have the competitions, symposiums, exams, deadlines around us, becuase they push us to work hard, learn more, dig more. If it was only upto eating roti and sleep and take bath and stuff, human race would still be in jungles, buring wood to cook leaves and fruits. To develop and succeed, one has to push himself to reach to that set goal.

To the original poster, yes, you have to tell yourself, I am going to prove to my parents, or peers, or friends that I am THAT GOOD. That would bring the best out of you. Believe me, once you get there, you will like that fruit as well for which you would work harder.

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Whenever you have a bad day just tune into a one of the medical channels on tv. Some of these programs show people with horiffic illnesses and conditions.

It always make me appreciate what I have rather than what I haven't.

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Vaheguru ji!

What Doesnt Take u down, Makes you stronger!,

We have to admit we hate going thru pains in our life, but just as there is day and light, there is dukh and sukh. If we never had any dukh we would have a heart attack the first time we deal with one. Just accept the situation as its ur own karams and do dandout bandhan to maharaj-- Bandhan Katdeyo Guru Ji merey - Bandhi Shorr tera naam hai!

What is Bandhan- basically anything(Maya,Illusion) that holds us down so we can't be a free chardi kala spirit - definately dont do justice to explaining the term bandhan/bondage but i found this wikkid article bout it so please have a read :)Bondage

Veere ji also get ur ipod or mp3 full of Gurbani-kirtan katha and listen to it 24/7, even when sleeping Gursevak.com

Listening to Gareebi Pothi 24/7, pulled daas out of depression and hate, i just hahted everyone and couldn't deal with their negativity cuz i was already overflowing with it,, learn to let things pass, in one ear out the other,, its good to get feelings out, dont bottle them up, deal with them and you will notice that things will come up in ur mind as u do bani, sumtimes it could be that ur mind is in india or sumwhere else which is no good becuz u should be in the present reading bani with concentration.. Other times things like arguments or comments u have made in the day will come up, and just as u wash dirty dishes the dirt comes off it is exactly like that, Color you mind with Naam/Gurbani and the dirty negative thoughts will be washed off, they come into our mind as they leave at times, or we could just be still moving the wheel of karams and acting on negative thoughts.

I dont kno why but Punjabi parents are notorious for makin dem kids feel sooo damn worhtless!! but the thing is let there negativity pass and with good sangat we can be uplifted and have inner peace and confidence to fight anything that comes our way, take everything as a test, Guru Sahib is seeing that even if he throws u dukh will u still love him or blame him for why are u giving me dukh, i read this much bani then our Ego takes over.. always take the positive out of the negative!

sikhs are Positive ppl that pray for Nanak Naam Chardi Kala, Teri Bhane Sarbat da Bhala!

Khalsa Soee jo Karey nit Jang!!

What does that mean, that Guru Sahibs Khalsa will always do jung with their mind and not fall into Mayas Traps, They will Fight with Kaljug and wake up at 2am! they will fight with Kaam And say how dare u come near me! I shall Slay u with the Weapons of Good Character!! HEY ANger wut do u think u doing!! Have COmpassion!!! Oh Moh u are so silly why are attached to this world it is all illusion only atach urself to Guru Sahibs Charan and u will cross over the terfiying world ocean!! Oh Lobh da ku tha! stop biting me, i dont care about all this money and these possesions they will not stay with me they are false!! and one of the worst is EGO!!!! We get EGO and start saying im sucha a good singh im sucha good sikh, everyone praises me this that dont fall into this trap!! say to urself MAI Maharaj Da KUTHA!! i am not going to leave his dar/Door even if he kicks me, i will never leave my sahibs dharr -- that is prem do kheyd

Wjkk wjkf!!!

Bhul chuk maafi in sangta dey charan

!

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go to www.gursevak.com. listne to gareebi nitnem or shaheedi jaap 24/7. it helped pull me out of a depression, it can do the same for you. listen on earphones, not jjust using a regular spearker. over time of listening ot shaheedi jaap the nectar starts to rise from the nabhi (naval) and goes to the brain and third eye. the mind also enters a state where it does not want to dissapoint the gurus, the jaap helps make the mind more stable.

also, google 'inner smile' and try to keep that practice going. things will get better.

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