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Dating In Sikhi


Guest SikhForLife
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Guest SikhForLife

i am just wondering if dating is allowed in sikhi while looking for a life-long partner .. perhaps..

considering there is no lust.. or the sikh maryada is followed..

feedback would be appreciated

thanks

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Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

Dating is utter manmat. At this point you are probably thinking im full of hot air.

Beleive me, ive been there, done that and its not something a gursikh should ever be caught doing.

Remember MOH is just as bad as KAAM. When dating, one is full of incredible moh. If we are going around looking for life partners we are looking at our brothers and sisters in a totally manmat way.

even if there is no kaam (which is unlikely and you are lying to yourself) it always ends up in "I love you" this and that. This is incredible moh on our parts and is manmat. Would you be saying i love you i love you at gurudwara? then you shouldnt be saying it while "dating". Dating creates all sorts of manmat.

What are you going to do while dating that you cant do in sangat? talk? do keertan? lol

And even if it is for marriage. What if you dont end up getting married? you just had a relationship that guru sahib would definitely NOT approve of. a very MOH filled relationship. Beleive me it takes a lot of naam kamahee (2 years of amritvela) to even begin to wash that away.

I hope you get the point of this, I dont mean to offend. Again we cant bring sikhi down to these western levels. look at all the corruption in society here.. do you really want to bring it into sikhi?

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Guest SikhForLife

i love you man :D

thanks for the post

i am not getting married anytime soon.. !

i was just thinkin.. that the whole idea of marrying someone by the "arranged marriage" way seems too wierd.. i dont think i could do that

wouldnt u like to know the person before you marry them...

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Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

You would know the person!! Arranged marriages as per gurmat and in sikhi are not like some thing bad that these movies and media make it out to be.

It would work like this:

Your family would have someone in mind, or you would and you would tell your parents. Or some other family has you in mind. Anyhow, these two sets of parents start talking and before you know it you will be in a room talking to that person. You just talk to them one on one

get a feel for who they are. If you are disinterested or dont think it would work at this early stage, you tell your parents and end it then and there.

Else, you talk to your parents and arangements are made so you can "hang out" or parents will take you to each others houses for official talking. I dont think it would be so bad if you talk on the phone or msn AS LONG AS NO MOH/KAAM get involved and there is no talk of i love you or going out etc etc.. the point here is just to see if you are compatible, dont get your hopes up!! if you do you are stuck in moh!!

anyway.. the parents will work something out.. a rishta will happen, then you plan engagement and eventually wedding. Its actually better than dating because you arent going around with multiple partners engaging in manmat. Here you have a structured way to find a partner where you can relate to gursikhi instead of manmat.

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Vaheguru jee kaa khalsa Vaheguru ji kee Fateh

Vaheguru jee is well aware of your hopes and desires..have FAITH in that or bharosaa, and your wishes will be fulfilled.

Dating is not the wise approach because then we are behaving as though 'I' will choose who to marry, 'I' will find my partner, 'I' will date them....notice that its 'I' all the time...therefore we infact start to act as though we are God...BUT we have NO control over our destiny/fate that is written on our foreheads since birth..it is not up to us to choose- that infact is Vaheguru jee's place as always...

This is always and has been a test for so many people...notice how nearly the whole world falls/ goes through this pattern of falling into the trap of dating...

ITS A TEST!

A SIkh should be above such things, as we are UNIQUE...

When Guru jee asked us to give our heads...thats exactly what we must do...our minds...

Vaheguru jee will find your partner for you.

If you continue with hankar(ego)/haumai (extreme selfishness/'I') and search for a partner through dating then you will only fall into the traps after that..it becomes impossible for a human to control...e.g Kaam/Lust...

In Gurubanee Guru jee says he makes the Fools the fool even further and delludes him/her into thinking they are doing the right thing. The only fool is the one who thinks 'I' can do this n that etc.

Only Vaheguru jee is the DOER.

Vaheguru jee is so amazing, like beyond any magic...no words to describe...please have faith in vaheguru jee and live life according to TAT GURMAT.

ps.MKhalsa makes VERY good n Valid point

s according to True Sikhi.

Vaheguru jee kaa khalsa Vaheguru ji kee Fateh

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Guest SikhForLife

vjkk vjkf

i understand what you r sayin

however.. when u say "leave it upto God" then.. i mean what if this just happens without giving an effort or wanting it to happen

u know what i mean?

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vjkk vjkf

i understand what you r sayin

however.. when u say "leave it upto God" then.. i mean what if this just happens without giving an effort or wanting it to happen

u know what i mean?

what happen without giving thought ji?

exaplion a bit cuz i didnt get it :D (im slow..sorry ji)

Mkhalsa have explained much of it as far as i know:)

all the question u will have, the answwer to them can be found in both worrier princess and Mkhalsa's posts

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losing yourself in anything but naam is anti-gurmat.. think about this.. what if you lose yourself in krodh? are you going to beat your friends and go on a shooting spree? or what if you just "lose yourself" in kaam and decide to go to a strip club etc.. is this per gurmat?

as gursikhs we must stop and think about our actions before we do them (yes for those of you who know me well.. I am one to talk lol)

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