Prominent Sikh Refuses To Pay Child Support

[Bibi Parminder Kaur]

I am a SIKH mother of two small children living in Oakville, Ontario. I was married to someone that I think everyone knows very well publicly but not as a husband or father. He has been very successful in his career in sports and as a leader of the Sikh Community. I am actually proud of the fact that he has done as much as he has for his community.

However, privately, he has disappointed both his children and his family. We separated when my youngest son was only four days old. For a whole year we received no child support, and we sold everything from the jewelry to the furniture in the house.

After three years of going back and forth to the family courts, we finally secured a court order that sorted everything out from child support, to custody and access.

The children's father is now $7,000 behind in child support. He recently took an Unpaid Leave of absence from a highly paid position and claims he has no income.

He attended the University of Alberta Sikh Youth Conference in Calgary, so he clearly has the financial means to continue his advocacy for Sikhism.

Sadly, the children and I are at a high risk of homelessness. I have maxed out the credit cards and simply am struggling to put food on the table.

I can not understand how someone who believes in Sikhism can sit by and watch his children go hungry. How does one equate having a high profile in the Sikh Community with his failure to be responsible to his children?

[Guest Guest]

Bhenji, I understand that this must be very difficult to cope with. However I don't know if posting here will make any difference. People will say that this is bad etc but what really needs to be done is that this person is exposed for what he is. It doesn't seem that you are willing to disclose his name publicly on the internet. If I were you I would round up some Gursikhs in your local community to help with this. Perhaps confide in sisters who you trust, or go to the Panj Pyare to ask for help.

[Tony]

Fateh . . .

Sorry to hear that another house/marriage has been destroyed through this so called Divorce / sepration.

My comments are prob not what you wanted to hear but I suggest you read these:

1. Sikhi has Anand Karaj, and there is no room for divorce. I am certain the other religions in this world do not support Divorce. It is a society based issue.

2. Children need both parents for a happy, confident upbringing. No matter what you say, ask any child (unless their parent is a complete loser) no child will say anything bad or will tolerate bad things said against any of their parent.

3. Ask yourself: You must have loved your partner to have children. If you are separated now then you must have been able to do this before the children were born.

4. If the relationship went sour after the children were born, then did any of you try their utmost to save the marriage not for your sake, but for the sake of the children.

5. If you did leave your partner (or the other way) then it was due to both of your ego's not due to any issue with kids.

6. If you did decide to leave, then you are no longer assoicated with your partner. Why should he pay? Yes their is maintenace from the courts, but when you took this step did you not realise that these things can happen. Did your attorney not inform you.

7. You are an adult. You need to take your own responsibility and provide for the kids. That is the decision you should have made when you left. No point bickering about anyone in www forums.

8. The protocol of the court is very long winded and can be unfair.

9. My PERSONAL advise: Try to salvage the relationship. Their is nothing like the happiness of children. This will keep going on and on and the pain will just continue.

For the sake of the children, try to make this work. Time is a big healer, and with Guru ji's kirpa all will be well. Believe me no matter how much you move on, you will never move on. Every minute of the future is a memory of the past.

Hope you achieve happiness either way.

Good Luck!

Fateh . . . .

[mskcan]

I believe it is necessary to contact the Local Women Support Groups/ Shelters, that have information in this regards.

I know after the string of Murders in the Vancouver area, Violence against women groups became more prominent.

Finding these, and using them as a source of support may be a first step in the correct direction.

Also reporting your story to the local India media (they love a story), may give you the prominence

in the public realm to put pressure on this individual

Regards

[Guest Guest]

Our community really needs to set up housing facilities for people that may need them and community centres to help sikhs with problems that they might face,

[gurdssingh]

PhenJi,

Look for whatever reason you split up ok things happan. Sikhi condones alot of things who amongst us can truely say I am 100% Sikh Answer = no-one. Else we would not need to be living in this world. We would be in Waheguru's abode.

So let me give some moral support, I know it will not help you, but phen please for just 1 nano second think your brother has his arm around you sharing your greif.

I ditess parents equally men and women who think creating a child is a joke. To a baby you are god, you feed, protect, shelter etc. everything else. So what EVIL that is the only word I can say without swearing EVIL person can just disregard there own flesh and blood. I mean any normal god fearing person has a tear in the eye and you can't speak when you see some random child in pain, but your own BABY. EVIL, EVIL person.

Phen do you have any family support, bro, sis, parents, uncle etc. If not is there an equivalent of citizens advice beurau in Canada? Google them in UK Google, and see what benefits, rights you are entitled too.

Look phen theres always 2 side to a story I m only going on what you said. A baby just knows LOVE, only hate is taught. So please I know you are angry it's easy for me to say sitting here, but don't make your babies hate their daddy, they will learn for themselves, his deeds.

Sorry bhul chuk marf, I hope no one ever has to go through what you have.