Need Advise!

[Guest Guest]

I am feeling confused right now. I was with a friend last night, and somehow we started making out. But this activity did not stop here, we both continued, and we ended up doing what we both did not want to do before getting married.

Now I am sitting here and thinking about what we did and I feel disgusted with myself but still very confused.

If someone can please advise me to overcome this mistake or anything I can do to get over this guilt.

[Guest *]

No point beating ur self up about it, you have obviously realised you have made a mistake and you feel guilty for it. Move on and learn from it. Do something to keep ur mind off it.

Go to gurdwara and do some seva. Do some paat and ardaas. Just pour your heart out to Guru Jee and ask for forgiveness.

If you are amrithdaree pluck up the courage and go for pesh. Advise the same to your friend. Hang around with sangat that have a good influence on you.

Keep away from each other for now, you don’t want to be getting mixed messages and you don’t want to fall deeper into kaam and the other 4 vices.

[AmarjitKaur]

Oh my my........

I am sitting wondering here, to how many people we can respond to and say the same thing.

I feel like its repeatedly same thing people do and then try to find a comfort here.

Well, here is your punishment. ( and I also know that you are not going to do it).

Do recitation of 40 Sukhmani Sahib jee in next 40 days. Its one per day.

NO, it won't bring the pure you back. But it would give you comfort to some extent.

Yes, we would have another post here in months to year saying that my wife didnt tell me she had done it with someone before while he was looking for virgin girl and you will hide it from that would-be-spouse and that boy would go marry someone else as he won't think you are worth it, as if you can screw with him then you can screw with anybody else too. and your future husband would want to beat the guy to death.

But question is, who had hard time controlling emotions??

Why don't girls/boys understand that if they don't do the stuff with girl, they are not really just leaving the virginity of that girl in tact, but they are also increasing the odds of getting virgin for themselves in months/years to come when they would want the pure girl too, who could keep this thing to special one, HER HUSBAND only, after Anand Karaj.

I just wonder. It pollutes your body, pollutes your thoughts, your soul, your heart, and yet still youngsters cann't keep it to that special day they would have after marrying in a proper anand karaj rasam.

[Guest Maaf karo]

dont do it again! you gota stop right now and think.......... this is a paap which can mess ur life up and you could be working to correct your sin for years and years

u can either marry this girl /boy ( still dont do any hanky panky things till ur married), talk to him/her bout ur feelings, it there something there , do you respect each other?.....then tell your parents etc etc ... then you could still meet/talk etc but respect each others soul and grace, respect Maharaj, who is constantly looking over you ....

or

you if this isnt/cant happen then you gotta stop meeting him/her in and make it clear that this cannot go on, and keep your distance, its best to not engage in phone calls and texts and spending time together.......

you need to make a decision.

you need to go infront of Maharaj and do ardas for guidance and protection from such activities

you need to understand the seriousness of this..........but dont live in guilt. ensure u dont make the mistake again.

listen to kirtan at every opportunity, implement nitnem into your life, do simran.

messing about with the opposite sex will affect you spiritual path, and will set you back , it will affect your mind , alot of people get drowned and caught up in the emotions that they cant see its wrong and dont wana stop. at least you have realised , that is the first step.

40 days of sukhmani sahib should set you right, also for the other person......

[gurdssingh]

Just viewing from another angle. If it's that easy to happen how many others have you both done it with? Look i'm not judging or looking down, we all have desires etc. But seriously think about std, and pregnancies. I'm very liberally minded but i am so against abortion. Just imagine that soptaneous moment lead to the creation of a child? what would you have done, so my only advice to you is if you gonna do stuff like that no-one here can tell you not too, it's your choice, but just use precautions and think of the consequences. Just say it happens again with someone else you don't know very well, and they have hiv or aids then was that lustful moment worth it? So if you can't control and it's easy to say don't do this don't do that, in the heat of the moment and depending on circumstances things do happen for good and bad, but just be careful. Your life and creating anothers life is no joke.

[TuhiNirankar]

Sikhs are suppose to practise "Sexual abstinence" which is the practice of refraining from all aspects of sexual activity. Common reasons for practicing sexual abstinence include:

* religious or philosophical reasons

* material reasons (to prevent conception - undesired pregnancy - or sexually transmitted disease transmission);

*Be a virgin till marriage

Maya is so strong, theres fire all around us,

Who Are we suppose to look down upon?! We ourselves have not overcome Kaam, only with Maharaj di kirpa we are safe for the time being, who knows when we'll fall??

I hear stories which i dont ENJOY at all of TOP KIRTANIS that have had multiple Relations and TOP GATKA players having girlfriends

when will it end?!

Maharaj bless us with ur glance of grace ur Amrit Dristee so that we can become true khalsey and not pakhandis who have nothing inside but mayl and dirt

its easy to look religious

Not be religous

[Guest Oringial Poster]

First of all, I want to thank you all for the advice. I will be honest with you, that night I actually felt specical and I felt like someone cared about me. And also it actually felt really good, like I felt so relaxed and all the tension just disappeared for once. But it came back the next day with the guilt feeling. Now, I am sitting here may be it is good for you since it helped me in so many ways. I do not know what I am thinking anymore, I just wish I had not done it but at the same time it all felt so good. I really do not know what to do anymore. I kinda want to do it again but at the same time I know I should not. I feel like I am stuck in the Maya.

I was actaully talking to a friend of mine about this as well. She told me that I should do what makes me feel good. I told her that doing Path makes me feel good. Then she asked me how I felt after doing it, honestly, I told her that I felt good after that as well. Instead of helping me with this situation she made more confused. I really do not know what I am thinking anymore, I tried doing Sukhmani Sahib but that did not really help either. I think its because I can not think straight right now. I feel like I am stuck in this dilemma.

[.- Prabhjot Singh -.]

Original Poster: you need to go see Sri Guruji Sahib and let him clarify your doubts because frankly, you sound like you have been overtaken by kaam/moh right now and no matter what we tell you, you mann will just not listen. Just go to Guruji Maharaj and do a honest ardass and all will be clear to you.

closing this thread because it's just going to end up looping again.