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Pesh Asap

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i was in a relationships where i was doing stuff - not full on *MOD EDIT*

what do i tell 5 pyari and how do i tell

in punjabi or english?

i am girl

will they shout at me infront of everyone

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this is serious mistake on your part, if punj wish to have a good go at u thats upto them, they r guru roop.

pesh is done privately between the peshi and punj pyaras.

Be clear and honest with what mistakes u have done to the punj. it will backfire greatly on u if u lie. if ur panjabi is good then tell whatever u can in panjabi, and if u need to clarify anything then english should be fine. there is no need to be embarressed as punj have dealt with all problems, however u should feel genuine guilt and wish for forgiveness.

u can possibly expect a big tankaah, but sometimes guru is merciful and lets you off lightly. its all upto the guru, he does as he wishes.

u no u shouldnt have done this. do sincere ardaas that guru shows u mercy.

make sure u do plenty of naam/bani kmayee before peshi. after peshi do not even think of making this mistake again, dedicate ur whole life to immense bhagti.

its all upto guru how he deals with u.

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i know that it is a serious mistake

do i tell the panj pyari exactly what happened with boys or do i say kaam galte?

i do want to be forgiven but i have a problem

i feel bad and i know that i need to go pesh but im not crying about it

when i do ardas it does not come from my heart i just say it

it does not really mean anything?

i dont want to do lots of extra paat or naam jap

so u say do lots of kmaye before peshi but what shall i do? cos i cant be bothered cos i know its not coming from heart. its something i have to do rather than something i want to do.

but i will not make same mistake after peshi. i know this.

im sorry but i am being honest so somebody can help and guide me in right direction. im 18 and i take amrit 1 1/2 years before

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u can tell them "mai kaam galtiyaa kithiyaa", then when punj ask u to continue say u did kaami stuff with boys. if they ask for details then u must tell that also, whether its kissing, touching or whatever. simple as that.

Dont feel like it? how will u ever progress spirtually then? for now, it doenst matter if its from the heart just start doing something. the coming from the heart only comes when guru sahib blesses you with preet (love). be patient. yes in the beginning u will find it boring, as gurbani says naam japping in beggining is like licking a rock, it will be hard. u have to force urself and increase bhagti bit by bit everyday. also it is a must to research the meanings of bani, thats how u learn what the guru is teaching us.

im glad u r commited to not making same mistakes again.

after peshi dont waste ur life, make the most of ur new chance.

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will i have to tell them who i done stuff with? and why?

i done everything before full intercourse so how would i say that?

sorry i dont know how to say this

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I am not Amritdhari so have no idea about the PESH so I am going to throw a spanner into the works. People go to pesh to admit mistakes and be punished. This is known as negative conditioning. Which basically means the next time you think of making the same mistake you will think twice or more. Now to do this there must be a level of trust between the panj and you....only you know if u trust them.

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u dont mention names, cos they r not doing peshi.

i dont no what u can say but just go do pesh, theres no point speculating how the punj pyare will react, they hold the supreme power.

if the punj pyare ask for clarity on what uve done then u can say something like 'mai saare kaam de paap kithe mundiyaa naal, par mai poora bujjer kurehit nahi kithi'

u should also speak english if u dont no how to give details in panjabi. even elders can understand english, dont worry about the punjabi problem.

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Wow. Do you wear a Dastar?

If your main worry is getting told off, it's difficult to say how the Panj will react. To be honest many, maybe even over half of all Amritdhari boys and girls get up to this type of stuff so its not like they havent heard of it before.

But in your position i would be more worried about that fact that you say you "cant be bothered" and dont really care, and are going pesh more because you have to, then because you want to.

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Peshi is like confession in christianity . In our faith Panj Piyare sitting togather are the

form of Guru .In Gurbani the God and the guru is described as the Forgiving One

(in many Places in Adi Granth Sahib Ji) . So the panj Pyare being the Embodiment

of Guru are also Forgiving, the Punish ment (otr TankhaHin Sikhism) is proscribed

for our purification and is in the form of Paath or Some kind of Sewa .As sewa and Simran

and Humility(nimrata ) are the three pillars of our faith , accepting with humility our

mistake honestly itself leads towards purity of soul, further Guru in the form of

Panj Pyare and Sangat in always forgiving (in Sikh History even great Jathedars

like Baba Ala singh of Patiala undertook peshi before sangat asn was forgiven, later

Maharaj aRanjit Singh also presented himself before baba Phoola Singh Akali

for his misdemenours and was let off with token punishment , so no need to

be afraid if you are honest in admission and ready to make amends for future

may go ahead , only repentance and pennance will clear yor concience

if U think some sin has been committed .

Believe me your purification has already been started since you are admitting

with courage your mistakes before so many readers , which is another embodiment

of Sadh Sangat

Good luck , may the Almighty bestow his blessings on your nirmal Atma ,

my good wishes are with you

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Dont worry i had to pesh once. Punj werent mad at all. I fact when i went there were like 50 other people there to pesh as well and none of us got yelled at. Punj were very nice and talked to everyone in private so no one else has to hear about what u did.

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First of all, whatever you did you are in agreement that you did wrong. And you are willing to go pesh, that shows you won't ever repeat again.

As Guru de singh/singhniya we are not allowed to have any intimate relationship with opposite sex untill we have taken four lavan in the guru's presence. I understand you said you havn't gone all the way with the way.

But having kammi thoughts are also the pollution of the mind.

Anyways, I am sure you understand all that.

There is nothing to be scared of. The feeling I have that you are scared because you think you are going to make the mistake again even after going for pesh. Beg Guru for strengh to keep your rehat. Guru de ghar mangte baN ke jaao, piyar naal jao, dilon benti karde jaao, taan khali nahi muRiya karde. As you sow, so you reap. So whatever you did, now get ready to pay the price. You will feel much much better after you have paid the price (which probably won't be to give your head physically, it would be most likely more recitation of some banis or some sewa or both.)

And you mentioned about not doing nitnem, ardas etc. from your heart. The thing I have noticed that when you listen katha of the bani/ardas jihde vich dhiyaan nahi lagda, fer katha suN ke jiaada dhiyaan lagda, as we get to learn the different perspective of the same bani/ardas that we never knew before. Most of the time during the day, keep your thoughts, your day busy with somehow connected to bani through reciting/listening (katha or shabad keertan). That will bring your mind to the right place. Mind is scattered now, as its not listening to bani enough as much as it should be.

Any other specific doubts, questions, PM me.

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