Is This What Kaam Is?

[Guest Guptx]

I know this topic has come up many times but i feel something different so i had to bring it up again. When i feel kaam, its not like i feel it towards someone... its that i just end up going to youtube and watching sex scenes from movies and stuff... i feel bad after but i dunno.. is that still considered kaam? Some of you might think i’m stupid and i really apologize and for some us this might even be common sense... but i dunno im just curious. Is watching sex scenes being kaami? Is that how it works.....?

Any replys would be greatly appreciated

And again, sorry for such a stupid question =(

I just don’t know what to do....

[Tera]

If you look at such translation tools such as SikhiToTheMax, kaam is often translated to mean sexual desire. See the tuk from the shabad as an example.

kaam karodhh nagar bahu bhariaa mil saadhhoo kha(n)ddal kha(n)ddaa hae ||

The body-village is filled to overflowing with anger and sexual desire; these were broken into bits when I met with the Holy Saint.

I think it is difficult, especially at certain ages as sexual desire is high and this is normal and natural I'm guessing. Sexual desire is needed for procreation and life to continue etc etc. However, in Sikhi we should try to master our minds and learn to control kaam, krodh, lobh, moh & hankaar rather than letting them control us.

So, in answer to your question, I think yes, it is kaami. It is hard but all we can do is beg from Vaheguru to help us to control the kaam, krodh, lobh, moh & hankaar.

[Matheen]

We need to stay away from anything that feeds or increases kaam etc. This includes videos, photos, literature etc. Keep yourself busy doing other stuff - reading dharmic granths, listening to kirtan, doing paath etc.

[AmarjitKaur]

Sorry for answering for being a woman. But I think I have solution for your problem.

Here is what you do. You fool your mind. have some Guru's times related videos on your favorites/Bookmarks. There is great one about Guru arjun dev ji's shaheede, or Gur Teg bahadur jee dee sahadat or million other videos. So when your kaami mind wants to see the stuff it wants to see, fool it and actually turn on one of those from your favorites (Something sikhi related) that will change your thoughts as it will make you think about Kurbanis our Gurus or Guru piyare made.

I have to say again ( I have said it million times before), eventually its Man jeete jag jeet. So take over your monkey minds' desires. You solved your own problem while you thought about Guru Sahib (Tuhade time da dasvandh vee poora ho giya, if u usually do that for a while in a day).

PM me to get my address to send my fee for the advice :-))

[Tera]

Sorry for answering for being a woman. But I think I have solution for your problem.

Course you can answer... You make it sound as this is only a problem for guys, surely women are affected too aren't they?

[AmarjitKaur]

Sorry for answering for being a woman. But I think I have solution for your problem.

Course you can answer... You make it sound as this is only a problem for guys, surely women are affected too aren't they?

As far as I know, I don't think to the extreme men are :-)

just day before yesterday, I saw someone at work looking at pictures of girls doing exercises and he kept saying I don't have that flexibility to do this or that exercise, then I finally commented "why r you looking at girls doing these muscle strength exercises, why don't you look at men?" His answer was "Because I like looking at women". So I had to just laugh off and walk away.

More I get to know men (friends or relatives or coworkers), I find out that side of them and in some its pretty strong.

I have heard very few women talking about it. Mostly women are crazy about shopping, eating, how they enjoyed their vacation trip or women worry about things that don't even matter much, or they gossip about other people etc.

But I can comment only based on what I deal with. of course, there may be a brand of women that I am not in touch with, that you are talking about :-)). May be being man, you do feel that side of the women as well, and me being woman, don't.

[Guest Guptx]

Thanks Tera Jee, you’re right and i think i already knew it was wrong... i was just trying to convince myself that maybe its not “that” bad

Thank you for your suggestion Matheen and i totally agree with you.

Amarjit Kaur Phenjii, you might be shocked to know that i am, in fact, a girl. An amritdhari girl.

I love Sikhi, and I love Guru Sahib. I chose to follow this path of life its not like i was forced or something. And i haven’t loved anything more than Sikhi. I love gursikhs and i love everything that has to do with Sikhi.

Just sometimes i don’t know what happens...

Amidst listening to kirtan.. i turn it off to just watch something on youtube

I don’t know it doesn’t happen all the time but no matter how much i convince myself not too.. i always end up going to youtube.. sometimes i last 2 weekss without going to youtube but then after that i`ll do it again

[AmarjitKaur]

Amarjit Kaur Phenjii, you might be shocked to know that i am, in fact, a girl. An amritdhari girl.

Yes you do shock me girl. I cann't believe that.

I hope you do have faith in the Guru that you offered head to. Can you do ardas to Guruji to give you enough strength to cope with this problem. I am sure if you do ardas from your heart and have enough faith in Guruji, your prayers would be heard.

Guru ang sang.

[Prabhsharan]

well sexual desire is in all human beings irrespective that human is male or female

at certain age i suppose 16-19 its at peak

its not easy to control it,

but neither impossible

listen to guru's teachings

don't let kaam be heavy on you

saah lai kai waheguru bolo tai guru granth sahib ji nu yaad karo

trust me kaam chala jayega par dilo karna

[Guest asgfasfg]

been in same situation

and benti to amarjit kaur please be bit more considerate with ur answers. phen is obviously at an age where she needs support. not ppl saying yh im shocked at u being a bibi and doing that. and chill i know u didnt mean no harm but i been there so can emphathise.

to phen, dont worry about it. i used to do too. i have learned u shld do or not do something based on what ur beliefs are and not what other ppl or other beliefs are saying. goin by other eeliefs can lead to problems in ur mind, doubt etc. so jst go with the flow mool mantar is very important. actualy a gursikh cant do without it. savaa lakh mool mantar a year, about 108 malaas of 108 malaa mool mantar a month every1 shld do this much at least.

dont owrry about it and dnt put urself down over it(if u are), actualy the reason why i stopped is because it was a big waste of time. lol. i dont og on msn or watch tv or ny of that so i try and spend all my time listening/reading baani, katha and if i find the right shabad for me then kirtan also. then i realised one day man im trying to do bhagti and this keeps coming in the way what a waste of time and effort. so i decided to not watch this stuff for 30 days. keeping an aim for 30 days for nything proves very helpful u cld try it if u want.

and keep trying things will get easier. we shld try and always try. also sangat is important.

best wishes