--Marriage--

[Guest --gupt--]

in arrange marriages when the marriage is fix.Normally boy does phone calls to the girl with whom he is going to marry and its also necessary so that they understand each other.But can u imagine girl is calling and had said to boy do call and boy had just call once.Boy seems to be a mom's boy and he seems of shy nature with girl.He doesn't take any initiative.

DO YOU think this marriage should take place?????????????

Do you think the girl should take risk????????????

Do you think that the boy will be alrite after marriage???????????????????

[Guest mehtab1singh]

You should ask this to a marriage counselor.

[Guest Guest]

I don't think Arranged marriages are fixed keeping in mind compatibility between girl & the guy.

They are based on Give & Take, Social Standing and in case of Punjabi's; Caste is a big factor.

The word "kismat" or fortune is generally associated with girls, coz decisions of their life are taken by others.

In reality they don't have much of a say !

Truth is, couples have to work and form a good relationship, nothing is readymade.

Regarding phone call's being normal !

What is norm for one family can be out of the question for other !

Everyone has a different mentality, no point generalizing.

As for you calling, it is unconventional and aggressive.

This will not put you in his or his family's good book if they are conservative.

It is better to request an elder to phone him on some pretext then later put you on. (Use diplomacy).

There is a big difference between Love & Arranged Marriage, in my opinion both are Cliche.

Unless couple become intimate, how can one get priority over other's parents.

Frankly in present day ARRANGED marriages, 99% guys will NEVER leave parents for their wife, reason - (financial security).

Nobody can say or know whether ANY marriage will work or not.

It is personal + family decision.

[AmarjitKaur]

The men/boys (majority but not all ) by nature expect girl to take the first step. As far as I know they do it not to sound deseparate.

The only thing I could suggest is, when you call him, tell him "call me on this day or that time, or with this or that info/answer". Give him chance to call. and tell him that you would wait for his call.

Then wait until that time and little after that too. may be day or 2. If he doesn't respond, let him go. But if he calls after your waiting time limit and explains with good reason, then don't be tough and don't nail down the situation. Sometimes, we do have good reasons.

Many times girls (not only them but guys too) become so anxious that they don't even give chance to another party, they act before other party could think of acting. And slowly slowly it becomes habit that other party starts expecting and rely on the more anxious person.

You should ask this to a marriage counselor.

Here is a free of charge marriage counselor, let me know if you need any advice as well :-))

[Guest mehtab1singh]

I am fine!! :D

[Guest --gupt--]

The men/boys (majority but not all ) by nature expect girl to take the first step. As far as I know they do it not to sound deseparate.

The only thing I could suggest is, when you call him, tell him "call me on this day or that time, or with this or that info/answer". Give him chance to call. and tell him that you would wait for his call.

Then wait until that time and little after that too. may be day or 2. If he doesn't respond, let him go. But if he calls after your waiting time limit and explains with good reason, then don't be tough and don't nail down the situation. Sometimes, we do have good reasons.

Many times girls (not only them but guys too) become so anxious that they don't even give chance to another party, they act before other party could think of acting. And slowly slowly it becomes habit that other party starts expecting and rely on the more anxious person.

You should ask this to a marriage counselor.

Here is a free of charge marriage counselor, let me know if you need any advice as well :-))

The girl had called him and said that i will wait for u'r call.Then the boy had called her in the next day.But after that when the called to give some reply about what he had asked in the previous call then also the girl had said do call.But now there marriage is also going to fix soon but the boy had not call yet...............

[Guest --gupt--]

I don't think Arranged marriages are fixed keeping in mind compatibility between girl & the guy.

They are based on Give & Take, Social Standing and in case of Punjabi's; Caste is a big factor.

The word "kismat" or fortune is generally associated with girls, coz decisions of their life are taken by others.

In reality they don't have much of a say !

Truth is, couples have to work and form a good relationship, nothing is readymade.

Regarding phone call's being normal !

What is norm for one family can be out of the question for other !

Everyone has a different mentality, no point generalizing.

As for you calling, it is unconventional and aggressive.

This will not put you in his or his family's good book if they are conservative.

It is better to request an elder to phone him on some pretext then later put you on. (Use diplomacy).

There is a big difference between Love & Arranged Marriage, in my opinion both are Cliche.

Unless couple become intimate, how can one get priority over other's parents.

Frankly in present day ARRANGED marriages, 99% guys will NEVER leave parents for their wife, reason - (financial security).

Nobody can say or know whether ANY marriage will work or not.

It is personal + family decision.

Thanks for u'r reply................God bless u