Feeling Worried / Depressed

[Guest anon]

I feel constantly on edge as if something bad is going to happen and i feel guilty for not making more of my life or making life easier on my parents. I try to make them happy as best I can. I've reached the grand age of 30 and my parents have been looking for someone 4 me for a few years. I haven't found anyone yet.

I wear a pug and have uncut kesh but i have not taken amrit. This sort of leaves me in 'no man's' land. most sikh girls want a clean shaven bloke, those who want a guy with a pug tend to be amritdhari and since i am not amritdhari things wouldn't work out. Also I am tall and overweight so that is a big factor as well.

My parents plan to go to India with me soon and find a girl from there. But i am very very worried about whether i will find a girl there who will want to marry me. Its been years since i was in india (1998) and i guess lots of things have changed. I've heard stories of girls marrying guys and leaving them once they get their UK / USA / CANADIAN passports.

Has anyone else gone through anything similar? I try to think posative things but marriage is just a big step and you have no idea what the other person is thinking or hoping for?

[Guest B@W]

in my opinon you should get more active and start taking regular exercise (assuming that you don't) it sort of releases happy hormones and makes you feel better about yourself. As for the age thing, dont worry about it, 30 seems to be the norm these days in marriage terms, plus marriage should depend on you and when you feel ready, wether it be 19 or 45.

I think you should go to india, just to experience it, not for the purpose of getting married being your main aim, if you find someone then you find someone, for every "bad" story you have heard about wives/husbands from india, there are also the same amount, (if not more) good ones too.

If you are going to meet individual women in terms of potential wife material then see them for exactly that - an individual, get rid of the sterotype you have for them in your head.

Also, about the kesh thing, I think you underestimate how many woman would happily marry a sardar and walk with him on the path of sikhee aiming for a Gursikh life

Just dont lose hope, hold tight onto it

[Temporary]

I feel constantly on edge as if something bad is going to happen and i feel guilty for not making more of my life or making life easier on my parents. I try to make them happy as best I can. I've reached the grand age of 30 and my parents have been looking for someone 4 me for a few years. I haven't found anyone yet.

I wear a pug and have uncut kesh but i have not taken amrit. This sort of leaves me in 'no man's' land. most sikh girls want a clean shaven bloke, those who want a guy with a pug tend to be amritdhari and since i am not amritdhari things wouldn't work out. Also I am tall and overweight so that is a big factor as well.

My parents plan to go to India with me soon and find a girl from there. But i am very very worried about whether i will find a girl there who will want to marry me. Its been years since i was in india (1998) and i guess lots of things have changed. I've heard stories of girls marrying guys and leaving them once they get their UK / USA / CANADIAN passports.

Has anyone else gone through anything similar? I try to think posative things but marriage is just a big step and you have no idea what the other person is thinking or hoping for?

Well first of all be positive, India has changed a lot, trust me i just got back like a week ago... I don't believe in the BS about my mom and dad finding me a girl to marry... and neither do they I have a girl friend and we been together for quite awhile now (lets not start a fight over that ppl... stay out of my business). Veer ji, i'm in my 20's, and my advice to you is, have faith in waheguru, whatever he does he does for a reason. As far as your health goes, you should watch your diet and exercise, as a sikh your are supposed to be healthy mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

You will find some1 special, whether she be indian or gori or whomever, someone who makes you feel comfortable. Veer jio, one advise, you will get a lot of rishtay in india based on your UK passport but dont fall for it... Indian oldies tend to find a "moti sami" for you to marry just bc your a foreigner, well don't do that. Find a girl that you like, and that she likes you too, and don't care about how rich she is because its not how much "sona" she gives you matters, but rather how much she loves and cares for you and how much you do in return for her.

I believe marriage is a boat, heavier you will load it good it will sink, rather make it strong and big with love

[Guest --gupt--]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa!Waheguru ji ki fateh!

I know how uncomfortable u’r feeling.

But don’t be so negative.

Do patha, sewa, go to gurdwara and do ardaas. Guru ji will help u in finding suitable partner.

Don’t do ardaas without doing patha.Do shri sukhamani sahib ji’s patha,Choupai sahib ji.If u can’t do ask u’r mom or papa to do for u.But I know u can do it.

Doing atleast one patha of Shri sukhamani sahib ji regurally will be very helpful to u.

Age of 30 for doing marriage is not so much.U can still find a good partner.

There are lots of sikh girls who want a sikh husband.So don’t bother about u’r hairs and all.Hairs are gift given by god.It is the identity of Sikh.

Do exercise to low down u’r weight. U have to work for u’r problems and not have to take tension for it.

If u can’t get concentration while doing patha then also do Guru ji will help u in gaining concentration.

Bul chuk mafa!

This Shabad is by Guru Arjan Dev Ji in Siree Raag on Pannaa 70

isrIrwgu mhlw 5 ]

sireeraag mehalaa 5 ||

Siree Raag, Fifth Mehla:

jw kau musklu Aiq bxY FoeI koie n dyie ]

jaa ko musakal ath banai dtoee koe n dhaee ||

When you are confronted with terrible hardships, and no one offers you any support,

lwgU hoey dusmnw swk iB Bij Kly ]

laagoo hoeae dhusamanaa saak bh bhaj khalae ||

when your friends turn into enemies, and even your relatives have deserted you,

sBo BjY Awsrw cukY sBu Asrwau ]

sabho bhajai aasaraa chukai sabh asaraao ||

and when all support has given way, and all hope has been lost

iciq AwvY Esu pwrbRhmu lgY n qqI vwau ]1]

chith aavai ous paarabreham lagai n thathee vaao ||1||

-if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God, even the hot wind shall not touch you. ||1||

swihbu inqwixAw kw qwxu ]

saahib nithaaniaa kaa thaan ||

Our Lord and Master is the Power of the powerless.

Awie n jweI iQru sdw gur sbdI scu jwxu ]1] rhwau ]

aae n jaaee thhir sadhaa gur sabadhee sach jaan ||1|| rehaao ||

He does not come or go; He is Eternal and Permanent. Through the Word of the Guru's Shabad, He is known as True. ||1||Pause||

jy ko hovY dublw nµg BuK kI pIr ]

jae ko hovai dhubalaa na(n)g bhukh kee peer ||

If you are weakened by the pains of hunger and poverty,

dmVw plY nw pvY nw ko dyvY DIr ]

dhamarraa palai naa pavai naa ko dhaevai dhheer ||

with no money in your pockets, and no one will give you any comfort,

suAwrQu suAwau n ko kry nw ikCu hovY kwju ]

suaarathh suaao n ko karae naa kishh hovai kaaj ||

and no one will satisfy your hopes and desires, and none of your works is accomplished

iciq AwvY Esu pwrbRhmu qw inhclu hovY rwju ]2]

chith aavai ous paarabreham thaa nihachal hovai raaj ||2||

-if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God, you shall obtain the eternal kingdom. ||2||

jw kau icMqw bhuqu bhuqu dyhI ivAwpY rogu ]

jaa ko chi(n)thaa bahuth bahuth dhaehee viaapai rog ||

When you are plagued by great and excessive anxiety, and diseases of the body;

igRsiq kutMib plyitAw kdy hrKu kdy sogu ]

grisath <banned word filter activated>(n)b palaettiaa kadhae harakh kadhae sog ||

when you are wrapped up in the attachments of household and family, sometimes feeling joy, and then other times sorrow;

gauxu kry chu kuMt kw GVI n bYsxu soie ]

goun karae chahu ku(n)tt kaa gharree n baisan soe ||

when you are wandering around in all four directions, and you cannot sit or sleep even for a moment

iciq AwvY Esu pwrbRhmu qnu mnu sIqlu hoie ]3]

chith aavai ous paarabreham than man seethal hoe ||3||

-if you come to remember the Supreme Lord God, then your body and mind shall be cooled and soothed. ||3||

kwim kroiD moih vis kIAw ikrpn loiB ipAwru ]

kaam karodhh mohi vas keeaa kirapan lobh piaar ||

When you are under the power of sexual desire, anger and worldly attachment, or a greedy miser in love with your wealth;

cwry iklivK auin AG kIey hoAw Asur sMGwru ]

chaarae kilavikh oun agh keeeae hoaa asur sa(n)ghaar ||

if you have committed the four great sins and other mistakes; even if you are a murderous fiend

poQI gIq kivq ikCu kdy n krin DirAw ]

pothhee geeth kavith kishh kadhae n karan dhhariaa ||

who has never taken the time to listen to sacred books, hymns and poetry

iciq AwvY Esu pwrbRhmu qw inmK ismrq qirAw ]4]

chith aavai ous paarabreham thaa nimakh simarath thariaa ||4||

-if you then come to remember the Supreme Lord God, and contemplate Him, even for a moment, you shall be saved. ||4||

swsq isMimRiq byd cwir muKwgr ibcry ]

saasath si(n)mrith baedh chaar mukhaagar bicharae ||

People may recite by heart the Shaastras, the Simritees and the four Vedas;

qpy qpIsr jogIAw qIriQ gvnu kry ]

thapae thapeesar jogeeaa theerathh gavan karae ||

they may be ascetics, great, self-disciplined Yogis; they may visit sacred shrines of pilgrimage

Ktu krmw qy duguxy pUjw krqw nwie ]

khatt karamaa thae dhugunae poojaa karathaa naae ||

and perform the six ceremonial rituals, over and over again, performing worship services and ritual bathings.

rMgu n lgI pwrbRhm qw srpr nrky jwie ]5]

ra(n)g n lagee paarabreham thaa sarapar narakae jaae ||5||

Even so, if they have not embraced love for the Supreme Lord God, then they shall surely go to hell. ||5||

rwj imlk iskdwrIAw rs Bogx ibsQwr ]

raaj milak sikadhaareeaa ras bhogan bisathhaar ||

You may possess empires, vast estates, authority over others, and the enjoyment of myriads of pleasures;

bwg suhwvy sohxy clY hukmu APwr ]

baag suhaavae sohanae chalai hukam afaar ||

you may have delightful and beautiful gardens, and issue unquestioned commands;

rMg qmwsy bhu ibDI cwie lig rihAw ]

ra(n)g thamaasae bahu bidhhee chaae lag rehiaa ||

you may have enjoyments and entertainments of all sorts and kinds, and continue to enjoy exciting pleasures

iciq n AwieE pwrbRhmu qw srp kI jUin gieAw ]6]

chith n aaeiou paarabreham thaa sarap kee joon gaeiaa ||6||

-and yet, if you do not come to remember the Supreme Lord God, you shall be reincarnated as a snake. ||6||

bhuqu DnwiF AcwrvMqu soBw inrml rIiq ]

bahuth dhhanaadt achaarava(n)th sobhaa niramal reeth ||

You may possess vast riches, maintain virtuous conduct, have a spotless reputation and observe religious customs;

mwq ipqw suq BweIAw swjn sMig prIiq ]

maath pithaa suth bhaaeeaa saajan sa(n)g pareeth ||

you may have the loving affections of mother, father, children, siblings and friends;

lskr qrksbMd bMd jIau jIau sglI kIq ]

lasakar tharakasaba(n)dh ba(n)dh jeeo jeeo sagalee keeth ||

you may have armies well-equipped with weapons, and all may salute you with respect;

iciq n AwieE pwrbRhmu qw KiV rswqil dIq ]7]

chith n aaeiou paarabreham thaa kharr rasaathal dheeth ||7||

But still, if you do not come to remember the Supreme Lord God, then you shall be taken and consigned to the most hideous hell! ||7||

kwieAw rogu n iCdRü ikCu nw ikCu kwVw sogu ]

kaaeiaa rog n shhidhra kishh naa kishh kaarraa sog ||

You may have a body free of disease and deformity, and have no worries or grief at all;

imrqu n AwvI iciq iqsu Aihinis BogY Bogu ]

mirath n aavee chith this ahinis bhogai bhog ||

you may be unmindful of death, and night and day revel in pleasures;

sB ikCu kIqonu Awpxw jIie n sMk DirAw ]

sabh kishh keethon aapanaa jeee n sa(n)k dhhariaa ||

you may take everything as your own, and have no fear in your mind at all;

iciq n AwieE pwrbRhmu jmkMkr vis pirAw ]8]

chith n aaeiou paarabreham jamaka(n)kar vas pariaa ||8||

but still, if you do not come to remember the Supreme Lord God, you shall fall under the power of the Messenger of Death. ||8||

ikrpw kry ijsu pwrbRhmu hovY swDU sMgu ]

kirapaa karae jis paarabreham hovai saadhhoo sa(n)g ||

The Supreme Lord showers His Mercy, and we find the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy.

ijau ijau Ehu vDweIAY iqau iqau hir isau rMgu ]

jio jio ouhu vadhhaaeeai thio thio har sio ra(n)g ||

The more time we spend there, the more we come to love the Lord.

duhw isirAw kw Ksmu Awip Avru n dUjw Qwau ]

dhuhaa siriaa kaa khasam aap avar n dhoojaa thhaao ||

The Lord is the Master of both worlds; there is no other place of rest.

siqgur quTY pwieAw nwnk scw nwau ]9]1]26]

sathigur thut(h)ai paaeiaa naanak sachaa naao ||9||1||26||

When the True Guru is pleased and satisfied, O Nanak, the True Name is obtained. ||9||1||26||

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=180