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Wahe guru ji ka khalsa wahe guru ji ki fateh

I have been browsing the forum for a while reading posts and answers hoping to find some answers to questions i have. Having not been able to find them i decided to ask here. I apologise if these questions have been asked before and i just have not looked hard enough.

I am 35 year old mother, and have recently found myself being pulled towards sikhi. I think it has come about because i want to tell my children about our roots and where we come from, and in my research and reading have started to learn about the sacrifices that our Guru Ji's have made for us. I have started to visit the Gurdwara more and whereas before it was just matha tek and out i feel myself wanting to sit there more and listen to the kirtan. Many times i dont even understand what is being said but feel myself getting emotional and feeling teary whilst listening. Why is this?

As a child we were never really told about sikhi, yes my parents both became amritdhari when i was about 11 years old, but as far as i was concerned my Dad only turned stricter then he already was. He used to constantly tell me to cover my hair and not to cut my hair yet not be able to explain to me why when asked. My mum unfortunately due to living in an extended family was never really allowed to spend time with her children as other household duties were given priority over us. Hard to believe maybe, but very true, mum never questioned her in laws and just did what she was told to. I grew up seeing my grandmother do path twice a day yet verbally abuse my mum at every oppurtunity. Mum was even abused for going to the gurdwara as it meant leaving her duties at home to go.

Sorry for going on i just wanted to explain my background. one of a few questions i have are, I dont get on with my father because he acted inappropriately towards me when i was a child which i have kept to myself and always will.I dont ignore him but i keep my conversations and my time spent with him to a minimum. When he took amrit was he forgiven for this? was his sin of acting this way towards his own daughter washed away at that point?

After completing my studies i married the man my father and extended family had chosen for me. However the marriage did not last more then 6 months as my then husband showed no emotion other than the odd physical one towards me, and then after a few other difficut situastions we seperated and Divorced. A few years later i again married someone chosed by my family and we have been married for over 10 years now. Some of u may question why i blindly did what my family asked me to, but i have always been that way and would not take a step that i feel would hurt my family. Will the fact that I have had an Anand Karaj twice affect me taking Amrit in the future?

My husband and I have talked about taking Amrit when we both feel ready, However if i am ready before my husband should i wait for him?, or should i take it alone.?. If one of us is amritdhari and the other not can it affect your relationship?

I have ready many times here that people have suggested that if you have a question speak to the panj pyare. Where do i find them?. Are you only advised who they are once you are amritshacked. Sorry if i seem really ignorant here.

Many things that seemed important to me before just seem trivial now, cutting my hair, watching my soaps, listening to music, dancing. However before I take the next step i want to follow the sikhi lifestyle without taking amrit, as i dont want to do any injustice to taking amrit. Where do i go from here, from what i am feeling now? I dont understand path, I am able to read punjabi but it takes me a while and i do make mistakes in pronounciation when i am reading.

What path should i be doing?, what should i be listening to. What should i read?. I am sorry again if these seem like really basic questions but i am sorry i really dont know.

If anyone can help i would be very grateful. Thank You

Apologises for any mistakes i may have made or said anything out of order.

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Bhenji, see my answers in italics.

I dont get on with my father because he acted inappropriately towards me when i was a child which i have kept to myself and always will.I dont ignore him but i keep my conversations and my time spent with him to a minimum. When he took amrit was he forgiven for this? was his sin of acting this way towards his own daughter washed away at that point?

Bhenji, First of all, let me say that you are lucky that you are being chosen by Guru jee to get ready for Amrit Chak. Some of us don't feel the need in whole life and leave this body without any Guru.

Secondly, about father being forgiven or not, don't worry about it. Don't let his Karma burden your mind. You have your own family life now, stay focused on that. Don't hold on to past so much that it wouldnot let you move forward. There is lot lot more on the way for you in life than staying connected to bad past. Life is beautiful and is to enjoy. Bad memories of past, just spoil the present and future. Don't let it. You are in control. And I always say mind is monkey. Don't let it jump on the branches it has already passed to get up on high branches. Its not going to let you proceed to new heights. So please don't let it.

is he forgiven or not?? I dont' know, but Gurbani says that pichale augaN bakhash laye. But I do believe that God must have washed away my past karma, because I do feel sorry for what I did in my past. So I guess your dad's karma is washed or not, depends upon what he thinks about it, guilty or not. And if you forgive him, it will help him as well to let go of his karma. And if you ever get courage in life, let him know on some quiet day with him, that you have forgiven him. I am sure he will get into tears if he felt guilty. But if he didn't, he will call you names or trying to deny it or so. So you will get the pic. if he is forgiven by GOD or not. And God will surely forgive him, if you did.

Will the fact that I have had an Anand Karaj twice affect me taking Amrit in the future?

I don't think it should. But Panj Piyare could be better source to ask that. You will get chance to get your answers while the Amrit Chhuk ceremony. you can ask these specific questions there.

My husband and I have talked about taking Amrit when we both feel ready, However if i am ready before my husband should i wait for him?, or should i take it alone.?. If one of us is amritdhari and the other not can it affect your relationship?

You should really take amrit together. My husband wanted to take it few months before, I said, don't go without me. and let me mentally prepare. He waited and we both went together. As far as I know, if you go to taksali singhs, they deny you amrit if you still wanna be intimate with your spouse while spouse is not amritdhari. I can tell you what works. ARDAS. Do ardas to waheguru jee, that please bless us both with your amrit. and I have a faith, he will make your husband move in that direction too.

Where do i go from here, from what i am feeling now? I dont understand path, I am able to read punjabi but it takes me a while and i do make mistakes in pronounciation when i am reading.

Exactly, you start increasing nitnem slowly slowly. Listen to audios of Nitnem. search gurmatveechar.com or gurbaniupdesh.com and go in gurbani ucharan audio section. Download nitnem by Jarnail Singh, or thakur singh. Get the ones which are little slow speead. I think slower one for Jarnail singh is under heading Sunder Gutaka. Listen to path while you have gutka Sahib in your hand, with that bani infront of you. Slowly slowly you will get there. Don't be afraid of walking, by just looking that destination is far way. You will reach if you start walking. But if you just sit with fear of being it far away, you will never reach. one step at a time. Don't worry, all of us, start like that. I used to do only Japuji sahib befor I took amrit. For years, I did only one bani. And didn't even do that before marrying. yeah, my husband got me into it.

Other sangat, please do help out, where you feel I left out or you can add more.

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Guest Gurpreet

Bhenji, It is good of you to ask questions like this as there are many people who have similar questions as I do relate to some of the questions asked. As I am not that knowledgeable on certain aspects of Sikhi and am young making me a bit more inexperienced. But nevertheless hears my opinion.

The first question why are u being affected by Sikhi/Keertan/Sangat now?

The only answer that I can think of is that it is all God's play Maharaj de khel, as now u r experiencing a force or pull of some kind but you can't relate to it and don't know why this is happening. Maybe because u as a person have realised that this is the correct/true path (not trying to defame anyone hear). Ur mind and soul making u go more to gurdwara and now sit an listen.

As a lot of people nowadays just go to the gurdwara take matha get degh sit for half an hour and then go and have langer and say thats it (sorry if I offend someone just talking from my past experiences and talking to other people who have come into sikhi). As just by sitting and listening to the Keertan/Simran/Katha/Vichaar/Bani that goes on in the gurdwara, u will start to understand more and relate more to what is going on trust me give it time, there are also projectors which display the shabad in english aswell due to help from Sikhi to the Max and My Guru Ji etc...

As the bani is the food for the soul, so maharaj has done kirpa, has blessed u as u r sitting in the sadhsangat and u r in the presence of the almighthy God Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee. From a personal point of view getting teary this happens a lot request to sangat try and read upon all the Shaheeds Sakhia(Accounts in history).

As I have personally have experienced this I have talked about this to elder singhs and some advice is that our soul is crying out that this is the right path don't go away now (And I am Man so I don't think we should cry to much lol) but just listen to the chote sahibjades katha/dhadi varan or sakhia and tell me u will not shed a tear.

As for the next point if your father was forgiven for what he has done in the past?

As ur father has taken amrit yes as learned from other singhs yes ur father has been erased of all sins done in the past, this is Maharaj jee's khel. As maharaj jee even blessed people of a more extreme nature like the cannibal etc... Regarding the actions/mistakes that ur dad has done in the past and how is affects you as an individual maybe someone else can shed some light on this topic??

The third question whether taking amrit seperatly is acceptable?

As far as I know it is better to take amrit together, as when you got married you both become one and going your separate way would not be recommended. As for affecting ur reltaionship it will

affect ur physical relationship as per hukam from the panj pyare.

It can also have an affect on eating arrangements depending on the panj pyare and if u decide to keep a Bibek rehit other things can be affected but the post is long already so I will not go into further detail.

Sorry and also regrading the taking of amrit after divorce this should not be a problem I don't think but you could approach the pany pyare

The fourth question about keeping the rehit and how to contact the pany pyare?

Keeping the rehit before becoming amritdhari in my opinion is very important indeed and also other elder singhs recommend it as you should practise all the rehit before taking amrit. As this will give you an indication of what you can do at the moment. What you will need to learn and how to learn and extra things in your rehit. This is not hard but it is just a more diciplined life. Contacting the panj pyare this can be done in a number of ways and you do not have to amritdhari to contact them:

After amrit sanchaar approach the pany pyare afterwards.

Ask an elder what to do.

People on this forum can also help by pointing you in the right direction or giving you usefull information just ask or PM anyone..

Or you can contact me give me your email address and I can arrange for some singhs to sit and have vichar with you.

Also there are a lot of knowledegable sikh women who can offer help if this is what you are after again contact me or someone on this forum I am sure they will be more than willing to help.

The fifth question progressing forward with your own jeeven this is a big one, as i can give you loads of information on websites, books written by gursikhs etc... But for now just start to get into sikhi reading the fundamentals of sikhi how it started why who when. What the teachings are the foundations. Simran and meditation. And start to read gurbani Japji Sahib and pany bani followed by rehrass sahib in the evening and then kirtan sohila.

As for not understanding the bani this will come in time and also understanding katha this will also come with time. So devotee ur time to reading bani and try and do simran regular. Don't try and rush things try to take them one step at a time and u will find that u and ur husband will become a proud and strong Gursikh couple.

Now I know this post is long but I am finishing regarding the points on how ur father affected you hopefully some other person can enlighten us, and regarding ur childhood sorry if I am being nosy but ur childhood has been hard and a real test (not trying to hurt anyone) but u have come out strong as you have realised that this is the path now sikhi is the way forward and how to progress. So in my eyes this is the most positive step and the best outcome that could have come from this situation.

Sorry if i have offended you and anyone else, if i have said anything wrong please point it out thank you. If the poster would like to give give their email and someone will be sure to email you back or just pm someone. If u don't want to give ur email due to personal reasons just post back requesting my email and I will post it hear. Also where abouts do you live as I know a lot of people down south in london and few in the west midland area. And also know a lot of people in leeds and bradford. So do reply back and make ur comments heard.

Sorry for the long post hope this helps sorry for spliting the post into questions i thought that it would be easier like this. Again go to the gurdwara do ardas just a prayer to God to say thank you for everything.

And Stay in Chardikala

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Anon ji,

Please understand that your parents or grand parents came from another era and background.

There is no need to follow negative aspect of old generation. Learn from their mistakes as well as experience. Make a change for your betterment and future generation.

Will suggest that you carry on doing Saadh Sangat plus get involved in Seva (helping with langar in Kitchen would do) this way you can interact with other Sikh women.

Learn Gurmukhi, some Gurudwara's provide Gurmat classes for beginners so better join up otherwise go for self study (you can find various helpful links online).

If possible join a Sikhi Camp, this will help you learn and experience the Sikh way of life.

Check out

http://kaursunited.org/

http://www.kaurageous.com/

http://www.sikhwomen.com/

Would also advice that you listen to Katha, Gurmat Veechar and Religious Discource.

Below are some more useful links

http://www.sevatothemax.com/mp3s/list_files_and_folders.php?directory=./files/Gurbani%20and%20Veechaar/Veechar

http://www.akj.org/skins/one/literature.php

http://www.ikatha.com/index.php?q=f&f=%2FTraditional_Katha%2FBhai_Pinderpal_Singh_Jee

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

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When we have feeling to get closer to Guru ji and sit at the Gurudwara longer these are signs that we are consiously waking up and feeling the connection to Maharaj

I would say get your 7 banis down listen to recordings of nitnem as much as possible even if your cleaning or w/e the more you hear it it makes it easier to say

http://gursevak.com/audio.html

go to nitnem folder and save the files,

theres also nitnem by Jarnail Singh which is faster but for starters i recoomend you listen to this recording over and over so that you ucharan of bani will become shudh,

Try listening to bani katha kirtan on an ipod all day if at work u cant at home,

More immportantly if you have it playing in your house your children will hear it and it does not matter if they dont understand, the Power of bani and even just hearing it is Beant (It is Great and Not Describable)

Also play bani while you sleep you will have the most refreshing sleep ever ;)

Encourage your husband to read his banis and read them together or if the morning is hard to work out

Read Rehras with the whole family get the kids into a routine of reading bani in the evening also have your kids learn mul mantar so they read it be4 they sleep and promise them they wont have bad dreams becaus maharaj will be there with them

like always

then slowly teach them sohila sahib and rakhya di shabad

these are for protection and to be read be4 sleeping it is a small bani so as you read it with you kids every night you will Memorize it!

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Guest ਏਕੋ.ਸ&#2

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh

It's so nice to hear from you. I do mean it. Hope you are well.

About the topic...All our miseries come from one thing. Just that one thing. That's it. And that one thing is 'forgetfulness of the Lord'. This is the most heinous crime that we commit.

Why else was Kabeer Saheb, who was captured by the Mughal emperor of the time and was being tortured by him, still smiling? Why didn't he feel misery? Because he remembered the truth, lived the truth, and eventually became the truth. Not once did he complain uselessly saying, "Why me...I pray so much, then why me?". He knew that the Lord was with him, protected him.

ਗੰਗ ਗੁਸਾਇਨਿ ਗਹਿਰ ਗੰਭੀਰ ॥

Gang gusā▫in gahir gambẖīr.

The mother Ganges is deep and profound.

ਜੰਜੀਰ ਬਾਂਧਿ ਕਰਿ ਖਰੇ ਕਬੀਰ ॥੧॥

Janjīr bāʼnḏẖ kar kẖare Kabīr. ||1||

Tied up in chains, they took Kabeer there. ||1||

ਮਨੁ ਨ ਡਿਗੈ ਤਨੁ ਕਾਹੇ ਕਉ ਡਰਾਇ ॥

Man na digai ṯan kāhe ka▫o darā▫e.

My mind was not shaken; why should my body be afraid?

ਚਰਨ ਕਮਲ ਚਿਤੁ ਰਹਿਓ ਸਮਾਇ ॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Cẖaran kamal cẖiṯ rahi▫o samā▫e. Rahā▫o.

My consciousness remained immersed in the Lotus Feet of the Lord. ||1||Pause||

ਗੰਗਾ ਕੀ ਲਹਰਿ ਮੇਰੀ ਟੁਟੀ ਜੰਜੀਰ ॥

Gangā kī lahar merī tutī janjīr.

The waves of the Ganges broke the chains,

ਮ੍ਰਿਗਛਾਲਾ ਪਰ ਬੈਠੇ ਕਬੀਰ ॥੨॥

Marigcẖẖālā par baiṯẖe Kabīr. ||2||

and Kabeer was seated on a deer skin. ||2||

ਕਹਿ ਕੰਬੀਰ ਕੋਊ ਸੰਗ ਨ ਸਾਥ ॥

Kahi kambīr ko▫ū sang na sāth.

Says Kabeer, I have no worldly friend or companion.

ਜਲ ਥਲ ਰਾਖਨ ਹੈ ਰਘੁਨਾਥ ॥੩॥੧੦॥੧੮॥

Jal thal rākẖan hai ragẖunāth. ||3||10||18||

On the water, and on the land, only the Lord is my Protector. ||3||10||18||

This answers why your mum never said anything back to her Mother-in-law when she abused her for going to the Guru Ghar. Her soul was thankful to the Lord in whatever circumstances she faced. Blessings...

As for your Grandmother doing Paath twice a day...

ਪੰਡਿਤ ਪੜਹਿ ਸਾਦੁ ਨ ਪਾਵਹਿ ॥

Pandiṯ paṛėh sāḏ na pāvahi.

The Pandits, the religious scholars read, but they do not taste the essence.

ਦੂਜੈ ਭਾਇ ਮਾਇਆ ਮਨੁ ਭਰਮਾਵਹਿ ॥

Ḏūjai bẖā▫e mā▫i▫ā man bẖarmāvėh.

In love with duality and Maya, their minds wander, unfocused.

ਮਾਇਆ ਮੋਹਿ ਸਭ ਸੁਧਿ ਗਵਾਈ ਕਰਿ ਅਵਗਣ ਪਛੋਤਾਵਣਿਆ ॥੨॥

Mā▫i▫ā mohi sabẖ suḏẖ gavā▫ī kar avgaṇ pacẖẖoṯāvaṇi▫ā. ||2||

The love of Maya has displaced all their understanding; making mistakes, they live in regret. ||2||

The state of your grandmother was the same as the Pandits described above. Her Atman(soul) in deep sleep that means the ego wholly awake.

One can only tell as much one knows. Muhammad Saheb saw a limited number of worlds, whereas, Guru Naanak Saheb saw limitless creation. Do you understand? Your parents only could tell you whatever they saw and knew.

The head is covered because it protects the exceptional spiritual energy located in that region of the body. The hair you can say are like wires. If the wire is cut then there is no electricity. Same with the hair they carry much spiritual energy, if they are cut then we don't function well spiritually. You may be well off in the worldly matters but not spiritually. 'Your' soul was given a chance to take birth in Guru Naanak's house. And in this house, the hair are like your hands, or legs, i.e. important, without them we are handicap. Without them you cannot function in this house. Spiritually that is. I hope this answers your question about hair.

Many times i dont even understand what is being said but feel myself getting emotional and feeling teary whilst listening. Why is this?

Your atman(soul) is waking up. This is a very good thing. Let it happen. As the tears flow towards the earth, the earth thanks you. It thanks you for a droplet of purity. Your own body thanks you. For trying to wake up. For making the effort. Let your pains flow out. Let yourself be. Don't care about what others will think. Never know...they might be feeling thankful for sitting near you.

When he took amrit was he forgiven for this? was his sin of acting this way towards his own daughter washed away at that point?

ਆਪੇ ਬੀਜਿ ਆਪੇ ਹੀ ਖਾਹੁ ॥

Āpe bīj āpe hī kẖāhu.

You shall harvest what you plant.

This is the Law of Almighty, Guru Saheb.

However, if your father is sorry for his doings and is actually doing something about them (Sangat, Gurbani, Simran, Good deeds), then God will show mercy. However, his mercy will depend on you as well. If you have forgiven your father then it will help his soul come out of the sin faster. The punishment may be less than what it was going to be, only if he is truly sorry. Your pain, God will not ignore. That's for sure. But do you want the other soul to suffer though? If so why? You know what suffering is like. You've felt it. then would you wish that suffering upon any other? Understand that we are all actually ONE. Ek Ong Kar. Just one. Everything is God. Then why wouldn't you forgive yourself?

Forgiving is a divine quality, Bibi. A Godly quality. Realize that we are all humans, we make mistakes. Each soul is just another part of you. Forgive them. It sounds easy, I know. But it's that easy to do also.

Remember all the mistakes you've made? God still loves you though. Because you are a part of him. You came from him. Forgive your father, and actually live your life. Akaal Moorat, God is. That means beyond time. He does everything in the present, there is no tomorrow or today or the day after for him. He does everything in the present. You too, you are him, be like him. You being a part of him, you too stay present. Love yourself, for being a part of him. This isn't ego. Love your atman. Forgive yourself as well. LIVE! Just BE! =)

It needs to be noted. That taking Amrit doesn't mean that you can commit any crime and not be punished for it. One cannot trick the true Guru, who is the Lord itself.

Will the fact that I have had an Anand Karaj twice affect me taking Amrit in the future?

The first time, only 'you' did Parkarma around Maharaj Ji, that's it. That explains why the other was only interested on the physical level. His soul was not present while the Anand Karaj were taking place. The second time, you took laavan with another soul. His soul did Parkarma around Maharaj Ji with you. Happily go forward and take his blessings. Take his Amrit. Many are screaming out for this blessing. Many. Even Angels, devtas we call them. They cry for human birth so they can receive Amrit. So; Don't loose this birth.

My husband and I have talked about taking Amrit when we both feel ready, However if i am ready before my husband should i wait for him?, or should i take it alone.?. If one of us is amritdhari and the other not can it affect your relationship?

If you feel ready. Go ahead. Just do it.

This might inspire your husband to take Amrit as well because he will do your sangat for the rest of his life. Sangat has affect. That's why Maharaj Ji emphasizes the importance of doing 'Saadh' Sangat.

If you have a question. Any question. Go to Saheb Sri Guru Granth Saheb Ji Maharaj, directly. Tell the Paathi Singh Saheb your question and ask him to request Maharaj Ji to advice you through his divine Hukamnama Saheb. After the Paathi Singh Saheb reads out the Hukam, ask him for the Ang(page) number of the Hukamnama Saheb. Come home visit www.srigranth.org and click on read apge-by-page and enter the Ang from Maharaj Ji of the Hukamnama Saheb. And look at the english translations to make a better sense out of Maharaj Ji's words to you. These translations are mostly accurate. But there are elders in the Gurudwara Saheb that can also help you understand the meaning of the Hukamnama Sahib. Oh the possibilities! Maharaj Ji is always here for us. Always. Ask him. Just ask him. And thank him for being here.

I dont understand path, I am able to read punjabi but it takes me a while and i do make mistakes in pronounciation when i am reading.

Practice. Never too late to start.

What path should i be doing?, what should i be listening to. What should i read?. I am sorry again if these seem like really basic questions but i am sorry i really dont know.

Listen to Jap Ji Saheb, Jaap Saheb, Tva Prasaad Savaeeye, Chaupai Saheb, Anand Saheb, Rehras Saheb, Kirtan Sohela, or Sukhmani Saheb. Then you decide which Baani you are comfortable doing. Whichever Baani appeals to your atman. Do that. Just that. That's for you.

Bibi, just a suggestion. Do more Saadh Sangat. Get involved in sewa. Any type of sewa. And if you like listening to kirtan. Do that. Visit the Guru Ghar more. Stay around him. Saheb Sri Guru Granth Saheb Ji is the Lord itself, a saint, a Guru, and a parent to us. He loves us. Go visit him. Love him. Thank him. Thank him for being here for us, for without him, we are nothing better than the dead really.

ਗੁਰ ਬਿਨੁ ਘੋਰੁ ਅੰਧਾਰੁ ਗੁਰੂ ਬਿਨੁ ਸਮਝ ਨ ਆਵੈ ॥

gur bin ghor andhhaar guroo bin samajh n aavai ||

Without the Guru, there is utter darkness; without the Guru, understanding does not come.

The sun's rays give us warmth. Maharaj Ji's divine rays give us spiritual blessings, protection, love, and support to live. Doing Maharaj Ji's sangat will give you all his qualities. And they are all worth having. Definitely. Thank God for such a blessed Guru.

A lot of love to your soul. Always remember to smile in whatever circumstances you face, just like Kabeer Saheb. ^^,

Tell Maharaj Ji, the next you see him:

ਤੇਰੈ ਭਰੋਸੈ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਮੈ ਲਾਡ ਲਡਾਇਆ ॥

Ŧerai bẖarosai pi▫āre mai lād ladā▫i▫ā.

Relying on Your Mercy, Dear Lord, I have dared to love you.

ਭੂਲਹਿ ਚੂਕਹਿ ਬਾਰਿਕ ਤੂੰ ਹਰਿ ਪਿਤਾ ਮਾਇਆ ॥੧॥

Bẖūlėh cẖūkėh bārik ṯūʼn har piṯā mā▫i▫ā. ||1||

Like a foolish child, I have made mistakes. O Lord, You are my Father and Mother. ||1||

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To original poster----One more comment. I can relate to you in many ways. mid 30's female with small kids.

I can tell you that I got more into learning about sikhi and finally taking amrit through my kids as well. I put my older one at khalsa school. For a year, he did't progress much, because I didn't pay attention. then teachers started saying "bhenji, have your son practice this or memorize that". Slowly slowly it woke me up from my sleep. Now I volunteer myself as teacher and that keeps me in touch with my kids progress and learning myself and seva on the top as bonus. And I keep encouraging parents to jump in anytime to help out.

So my suggestion, volunteer at your local gurudwara khalsa school classes. or be just assistant/substitute teacher. You will realize its value in just a month.

Don't be shy that you don't know punjabi well or sikh history. Remember you are going to learn at the job. So its on-job training. Baba jee is always ang sang, only if we can realize that.

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Thank you all very much for taking the time to read my post and answering my questions. Amarjit bhenji your so right when you why do I need to go back onto branches that I have already passed. I guess I just never thought of it in that way. I can only say its ur mind if its not occupied with anything else then it will just go back over issues. As for telling my father I have forgiven him, I am not sure that I can actually say it to him as I believe that he thinks I don’t remember it all.

I agree that my husband and I should both should take Amrit together, we talk about things and would help each other take this path. Thank you for advising me on the websites to look at.

Gurpreet thank you for your help and offer of further help. I will definitely take you up on this offer, and will PM u directly. I do attend my Local Gurdwara regularly, and I know I can always do more seva than I do. The ladies at my Gurdwara are all a lot older then me, and not ones I feel I can relate to. They are there everyday and do a lot of seva but I find there main topics of conversations are families and whats happening etc. and I am not really gaining much insight from them. They do a lot of seva and are better people then me but cant seem to relate to them.

Guest Ji, you also are right, though I don’t look at my elders to necessarily follow them it was more to understand why this was happening. Thank you for ur links and I will try and find out more about gurmat classes. I will continue with sadh sangat and last night I went to the gurdwara and Giani thakhur singh ji was doing katha and I find myself now at work and wanting to go again tonite to listen to more. It all seemed to make sense. So something must be sinking in.

Random singhni ji thank you for ur advise, I will listen to nitnem and encourage my kids to do so to. I will take on board everything u have said. I know in the short time I have been listening to katha and bani it has made us even closer as a family. I have also been advised to get a gutkla in English and Punjabi so that it makes more sense to me and I will do that

Eks Ji ( I know I have spelt that incorrectly I am sorry) how you have explained things using gurbani has all really puts things into place. What you said re my father makes so much sense. The reason I asked if his sins were washed away at first was because I didn’t want them to be, I wanted him to be punished for what he did, but the way you have explained it that taking the amrit alone does not wash ur sins away but ur actions and whether you are truly sorry, and do sangat seva,, gurbani and simran. Whereas I originally thought this would make me happy because I know he is not doing any of these things and I feel his Amrit is just on the outside for the world to see, and I know he is continuing to sin. In fact it makes me sad, because of the way you have explained it I don’t want him to be punished, and I don’t hold a grudge against him. In my heart I forgive him, even if am never able to tell him to his face. I don’t want another soul to suffer like you say.

Thank you for also answering my anand karaj question. I just cant explain how wonderful it is to have these answers, if my first husbands soul just wasn’t there in the first place it was really a marriage.

Re your advice about getting my questions answered directly to guru ji. Does it have to go through the paathi sahib or can I ask myself when the ardas is being done?

Thank u all so much from the bottom of my heart.

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Guest ਏਕੋ.ਸ�

You are trapped in your past memories. I know what you are going through. However, you will need to shun them, these memories, in order to really 'live'. The memories are of your past, for the future you have have built more memories through dreams, the present contains no memories at all. It is simply 'lived'. This is why in the present is the thing called life. Life is lived in this moment. That's it! Stay present. Enjoy your life.

Have you forgiven yourself for all that has taken place in your life? Think about it. Not really. If you had, you would have never looked back at anything with such a grief in your heart, anything at all that has taken place in your past. Someplace, somewhere you blame yourself. Please do not do that. It hurts you. You are not to be blamed for anything. At this very moment, forgive yourself. Know that God is happy when you forgive others, but he is very happy when you forgive yourself. To this he says, "You've actually learnt from your mistakes, hence, you are promoted to next spiritual level". Blessings...

I know he is continuing to sin. In fact it makes me sad, because of the way you have explained it I don’t want him to be punished, and I don’t hold a grudge against him. In my heart I forgive him, even if am never able to tell him to his face. I don’t want another soul to suffer like you say.

Hmmm...What exactly did you mean here? Can you clarify it again?

Re your advice about getting my questions answered directly to guru ji. Does it have to go through the paathi sahib or can I ask myself when the ardas is being done?

Of course you can. That's great. As the ardaas is being done, you can internally ask Maharaj Ji for his advice. And as the Hukamnama Sahib is being read out, 'listen' completely. The lines that remain with you from the Hukamnama Sahib at the end, you can consider them to be the answer to your prayers, question, request for advice.

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Guest Gurpreet

Hi Bhenji I am Gurpreet and I am just a guest on this forum, but I now have set-up an account called HereToHelp but I think it will take a day or two to sort out as I can't post yet.

So you can PM me on this username HereToHelp. In the mean time I am sure that the people that have an account on this forum and have replied to your post will galdfully help (Random Singhni and Amarjit Kaur).

I think the account should be up and runnning in a days time, so if u require any more information just post here and I will reply.

Stay in Chardikala

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