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The Day I Realized


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I have a few magazines called Sikh Digest which are made for the Sikh Community acorss the world containing several different topics.

I came acorss this article written by Randeep Kaur, which touched my heart and i wished to share with the rest of the Sangat.

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The Day I Realized

Randeep Kaur

As I walked up the steps, thinking...memories rushed through my mind like a wind storm...the first time she taught me how to tie my keski, all the times we would go together to sangat, all the times we would stay up at night talking for hours, all the times I poured my heart out to her, all the times i went to her with questions-went to her cause i knew that she would know, she always knew...all the times we had laughed, all the times we had cried, all the times she had held me close to her and told me everything would be okay... all the times she yelled at me for reading bani wrong... all the times she woke me up in the middle of the night and asked me to bring her something... she was always there...

Now she's not. It's just me. Alone. What do i do? I am like a zombie; taking steps doing this and that.... no idea really is to what is happening. I feel sick. I just came out of the shower and now its nitnaem time. So i go up the steps and then i get there and there's Guru Ji. I mathaa taek and get up and get my gutkaa... time to open it up.... but i dont want to. I just sit there... why should i remember you, huh why should i sing your praises and tell you how great you are? Why did you do this to me? Why do you always do this to me? Every time i try and get close to someone you take them away from me! Its not fair. You don't do this to anyone else- just me. Why? I think you're greedy! You just want me to stay with you always! But you don't even show me your face... not even a glimps. And if thats really what you want then why did you put me in such a situation?

You know what- this is like so over. I am not doing this.

I get up and run out of the room... running away... not looking back... half way down the stairs it hits me- I stop. Where the hell am i going to go? Its like deep inside I know very well that you are the only one for me, i know that its all fake... just your litle game... and i know that i cant live for even two seconds without you...

I realize... I dont need anyone else... just you. I can talk to you, laugh with you. And you will never get tired of me. You will always be there. Yeah sure, you are like sooo weird and you do crazy things and you dont make any sence and i dont even know where to start... but i still know that you love me... maybe thats why you did what you did... to show me that i dont need anyone else.. just you...

I run back up the stairs and i fall to my knees... couldnt stop the tears...

I am such a ...

Will you ever forgive me......

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I think its easy for ALL of us to relate to this article.

Vaheguru.

Shukar Hai.

Vahegurujikakhalsa Vahegurujikifateh

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DnwsrI mhlw 5 Gru 2 caupdy

dhhanaasaree mehalaa 5 ghar 2 choupadhae

Dhanaasaree, Fifth Mehla, Second House, Chau-Paday:

<> siqgur pRswid ]

ik oa(n)kaar sathigur prasaadh ||

One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

Coif jwih sy krih prwl ]

shhodd jaahi sae karehi paraal ||

You shall have to abandon the straw which you have collected.

kwim n Awvih sy jMjwl ]

kaam n aavehi sae ja(n)jaal ||

These entanglements shall be of no use to you.

sMig n cwlih iqn isau hIq ]

sa(n)g n chaalehi thin sio heeth ||

You are in love with those things that will not go with you.

jo bYrweI syeI mIq ]1]

jo bairaaee saeee meeth ||1||

You think that your enemies are friends. ||1||

AYsy Brim Buly sMswrw ]

aisae bharam bhulae sa(n)saaraa ||

In such confusion, the world has gone astray.

jnmu pdwrQu Koie gvwrw ] rhwau ]

janam padhaarathh khoe gavaaraa || rehaao ||

The foolish mortal wastes this precious human life. ||Pause||

swcu Drmu nhI BwvY fITw ]

saach dhharam nehee bhaavai ddeet(h)aa ||

He does not like to see Truth and righteousness.

JUT Doh isau ricE mITw ]

jhoot(h) dhhoh sio rachiou meet(h)aa ||

He is attached to falsehood and deception; they seem sweet to him.

dwiq ipAwrI ivsirAw dwqwrw ]

dhaath piaaree visariaa dhaathaaraa ||

He loves gifts, but he forgets the Giver.

jwxY nwhI mrxu ivcwrw ]2]

jaanai naahee maran vichaaraa ||2||

The wretched creature does not even think of death. ||2||

vsqu prweI kau auiT rovY ]

vasath paraaee ko out(h) rovai ||

He cries for the possessions of others.

krm Drm sglw eI KovY ]

karam dhharam sagalaa ee khovai ||

He forfeits all the merits of his good deeds and religion.

hukmu n bUJY Awvx jwxy ]

hukam n boojhai aavan jaanae ||

He does not understand the Hukam of the Lord's Command, and so he continues coming and going in reincarnation.

pwp krY qw pCoqwxy ]3]

paap karai thaa pashhothaanae ||3||

He sins, and then regrets and repents. ||3||

jo quDu BwvY so prvwxu ]

jo thudhh bhaavai so paravaan ||

Whatever pleases You, Lord, that alone is acceptable.

qyry Bwxy no kurbwxu ]

thaerae bhaanae no kurabaan ||

I am a sacrifice to Your Will.

nwnku grIbu bMdw jnu qyrw ]

naanak gareeb ba(n)dhaa jan thaeraa ||

Poor Nanak is Your slave, Your humble servant.

rwiK lyie swihbu pRBu myrw ]4]1]22]

raakh laee saahib prabh maeraa ||4||1||22||

Save me, O my Lord God Master! ||4||1||22||

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