Bhatri Sikh

[Would_be _Farmer]

I feel you need to stand up to your parents i.e. explain your point of view and if they dont agree than take some action.

To take any action i.e to run away or call cops without facing your parents won't be right

[heart]

Bhainjee as heera veerjee stated, we are not telling you to run to the streets and live a ‘rough’ life. What we are telling you is that by you standing back and just letting things happen isn’t right because its against your will. Something as serious as marriage at the age of 15 is illegeal and wrong in every way. If you’ve tried to explain your parents numerous times about what you want and they still don’t listen I suggest you talk to a bhainjee you are close with to ask if you can stay with her for a while to see if things get sorted or just plan out say “no, I don’t want to get married and if your going to force me im going to leave”. Bhainjee im 15 and me sitting here and telling you this is so easy I cant imagine what your going through. But don’t sit back and let people ruin your life. You deserve a lot better than being a housewife with no education. You see your sisters daily, do you want to be them? You said no, make that ‘no’ happen!

Be strong, stand up for your beliefs, we are all with you. Im sure there is some sangat that could help you out in your area. Stand up for your self bhainjee!!

Best of luck.

Bull chaak maaph

Vahegurujeekakhalsa Vahegurujeekeefatehh!

[Bored]

U CANT B FORCED INTO MARRIGE, ITS JUST NOT POSIBLE, U HAVE UR OWN 2 FEET, IF U CANT STOP THIS BY THE TIME THE ENGAGMENT HAPPENS, THEN DONT B THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS.

I WILL ASK MY GRANDFATHR WHO GIVES BEST ADVICE. JUST DONT LET IT HAPPEN AGAINST UR WILL. AND THOSE WHO SAY U SHUD LISTEN TO UR PARENT R WRONG, CUZ PARENTS R HUMAN TOO, ITS NOT LIKE THEY DON MAKE MISTAKES, AND R PREFECT WITH THEIR DECISIONS ALL THE TIME. U SEEN WATS HAS HAPEND TO UR SISTERS, DO U REALLI WANT TO GO THROUGH IT FOR THE REST OF UR LIFE?"

THE # 1 THING U CAN DO AT THIS POINT , CALL A FREAKIN HELPLINE THAT WERE SUGGESTED TO U.

ITS ALL IN UR HANDS AT THIS POINT, MAKE A MOVE, DONT WAIT, IF U TOLD UR PARENTS ENOUGH TIMES THAT U DONT WANT THIS, THERE NOT GONNA LISTEN TO U NOW, ALTHOUGH IM NOT SAYING DONT STOP TELLING THEM CUZ IT MIGHT LEAD THEM INTO THINKING U GAVE UP.

U CLEARLY KNO THE OUT COME IF U DONT TAKE ACTION

Best of luck.

Bull chaak maaph

[Guest s133k_s1kh]

GUR FATEH!!

Hmm...I registered on this forum today and this is the first thread i have read. Everyone stressed on three main points:-

1. Talk to your parents, try n convince them.

2. Take legal help.

3. Last Resort -- Run from home.

Personally am not in favor of the last 2 options. As far as i see this situation, BIBI said her friends tried talking to her folks. umm... how about gettin more SIKH people in your area involved in this. Some elderly people would definitely help in softening your parents decision.

what i see here is BIBI is just being made a bait, so that the guy gets the citizenship of the country because he is on some kind of a study permit. And if this BIBI has been born and bred in UK its gonna be really hard for her to adjust with this guy( this is true in most of the cases). THIS IS MY ADVICE and I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS ACTION -- YOU HAVE TO SAY A BIG noooo to this proposal. Its not just bout u gettin engaged, its a bigger problem. SO GET PEOPLE INVOLVED FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. YOUR PARENTS WILL UNDERSTAND FOR SURE.

I have a stupid idea aswell. As u said guy's parents are in india, most of em are really conservative when it comes to marriages. If u could make someone convince em that you are not da perfect BAHU, i am pretty sure they are gona give it a second thought. This sounds stupid but it'll work. I can gaurantee that.

I am not that close to guruji but what i have learnt from my garndparents, parents is ..EVERYTHG THAT IS HAPPENIN IS HAPPENIN BECAUSE GURUJI WANTS IT THAT WAY.

I appreciate what these people have suggested but atlast --- GURUJI DA BHANA MITHA KARKE MANN NA PENNDA.

So BIBIji you keep praying and try to bring this matter to the eyes of some smart people. It all depends on how you deal with this situation. people here can suggest you solutions but its u who has to act and act fast.

PS: I saw some guys get into their own personal arguments. No one is perfect here, we all are learning. umm.. so try to stay away from this. These thgs only distarct you from the GOAL.

This is my first post here so forgive me if i went overboard anywhere.

MaY GURUJI be wid u BIBI. He'll show you a way out.

FATEH!!!!

[Jaspaul Singh]

those are great advice singh,

but the reason everyone is saying 'run away' is for a last resort..

ok in general to everyone..

if your in this situation, and you know ur getting married tomorrwo and your only 15/16/17 yrs old, and you know the only way out is to leave or rather spend the rest of your life in misery (how you dont want it to end up but rather take control of your own life) would you or would you not run away ?

this is questioned out to all the general public out there!

[heart]

If i had no choice i would run.. try and make my life worth it..

[heart]

sorry.. double post

[Guest Bhatri Sikh]

GUR FATEH!!

Hmm...I registered on this forum today and this is the first thread i have read. Everyone stressed on three main points:-

1. Talk to your parents, try n convince them.

2. Take legal help.

3. Last Resort -- Run from home.

Personally am not in favor of the last 2 options. As far as i see this situation, BIBI said her friends tried talking to her folks. umm... how about gettin more SIKH people in your area involved in this. Some elderly people would definitely help in softening your parents decision.

what i see here is BIBI is just being made a bait, so that the guy gets the citizenship of the country because he is on some kind of a study permit. And if this BIBI has been born and bred in UK its gonna be really hard for her to adjust with this guy( this is true in most of the cases). THIS IS MY ADVICE and I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS ACTION -- YOU HAVE TO SAY A BIG noooo to this proposal. Its not just bout u gettin engaged, its a bigger problem. SO GET PEOPLE INVOLVED FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. YOUR PARENTS WILL UNDERSTAND FOR SURE.

I have a stupid idea aswell. As u said guy's parents are in india, most of em are really conservative when it comes to marriages. If u could make someone convince em that you are not da perfect BAHU, i am pretty sure they are gona give it a second thought. This sounds stupid but it'll work. I can gaurantee that.

I am not that close to guruji but what i have learnt from my garndparents, parents is ..EVERYTHG THAT IS HAPPENIN IS HAPPENIN BECAUSE GURUJI WANTS IT THAT WAY.

I appreciate what these people have suggested but atlast --- GURUJI DA BHANA MITHA KARKE MANN NA PENNDA.

So BIBIji you keep praying and try to bring this matter to the eyes of some smart people. It all depends on how you deal with this situation. people here can suggest you solutions but its u who has to act and act fast.

PS: I saw some guys get into their own personal arguments. No one is perfect here, we all are learning. umm.. so try to stay away from this. These thgs only distarct you from the GOAL.

This is my first post here so forgive me if i went overboard anywhere.

MaY GURUJI be wid u BIBI. He'll show you a way out.

FATEH!!!!

Thanks for your opinions it really did help.

I also belive that whatever Guru ji does its for the best obviously. Thats why I dont want this alliance to go through, at my age definatly not.Im just keeping faith, and praying to guru ji really.

and running away i'm not going to do, as i know its going to create further problems anyway rather than resolving them.

[heart]

Bhainjee, i dont understand one thing. You say you want to be able to further your education, want to have a career but you then say 'running away im not going to do'.

Okay, i understand. Firstly do whatever you can before having to resort to this solution or step. But if you really want everything you say you want you need to understand that sometimes the hard choice is the right choice. We are NOT telling you to run to the streets we are telling you to talk to an older bhainjee, etc.

By all means try everything before you do that but dont give your parents the right to torture you and take away your life. They have no right to tell you to get married and age 15. Stand up ( i know its hard) but if they see that you will not give in.. maybe they will be okay with it.

If not the case then take some seruios action and dont let someone take away your life.. You dont deserve this..

Bull chaak maaaph

[Suki_]

thanks for your siggestions but I've seen majority of you say that runnning away from home is the best option, but I cant do that because matters will get worse. My parents love their reputation and if I run away society will start spreading rumours and that will make my parents go mad even mpre. I love my parents alot. I've always listened to them but I dont want to hurt them I just want a way to make them realise that education is important too.

I'm really stuck in a real bad dillemma, I want to sort this without running away. I just want to proove to them I can make them proud if I'm educated ( as they think education is nothing).

My sisters arent supportive either they just tell me that im being stupid and ill be the first bhatri to be educated and going to university which i think is not true.

huni wher boutz r u 4rm?

btw do u hav ny bruvaz?

ok i kno ur stressed out buh i fink u shud go to sum1 hu knoz ur folkz n myt b on ur syd...

apply for college wen da tym cumz... u neva kno by den dey'll myt change der mindz.

i fink mayb u shud do sumfing 2 get der attention.... lyk a 24hr hungar strike.