Confusedd....need help.. :-(

[Guest Apraadhee]

Waheguru jee

Piare sadh sangat ji...im in a major delimma..ive been going out wit this girl for amost 3 years and when i started going out wit her i wasnt into sikhi..within the last year guru sahib has blessed me, and i am on the right path...I am contemplating chukkin amrit at the annual Samaagam in TO

Okay..here is my problem...so me and my girl are going out for long..and she's obviously not going to chuk amrit it, ive spoken about it..and is something shejust does not want tot od..she's not full sikh, nor is she fully hindu..her mom is sikh and dad is hinu..and she totally does not want to do it..fine watever, i respect that, im not going to force her to do anything she doesnt want to do...but where does that leave me?..i love her very much, and i know..if wewere goin on this path together i would marry her in a heartbeat..but since she is not, i cannot be with her...i don tknow, im really lost, confused and hurt....i want to chuk amrit, but i do not want to be ithout her..and i know, if i do get blessed with amrit...it is impossile for us to be together..i was thinking that i hold itoff, and maybe guruji will bless her the way he had blessed me..but i dont know, cuz a opportunity may never come again...i just dont know wat to do, its hard..how do i do this, and get through this...

piaray sadh sangat jee..help me, and guide me so that i can become a better sikh, i am merely a moorakh wondering aimlessy on this earth...

waheguru jee

[Guest SikhForLife]

sounds like a question from sikhnet QA.. no offense

veerji.. this is coming from a teenager who can understand your dilemas

first of all.. u need to realize that sometimes we have to look beyond emotional and physical attraction.. you have to look at your future and the life you will be leading 20 -30 yrs from now..

when the "loving feeling" has been lost within you two.. what will your relationship be like

how can you live a life with someone with whom you dont even share your basic values with?

and i am not even blaming her.. obviously she was brought up differently.. and she may or may not plan to be with you in the future.. rushing into marriage wont be good idea.

untill the base is built with a strong foundation how can you build a tall building?

do you see yourself doing keertan together in 20-30 years or do u see urself divorced cuz u wanted ur kids to be sikh.. when she wanted them to have cut hair

plus if it was meant to be.. then everything will turn out in ur favor

(to other ppl who are going to respond: i, in no way support kaam/lust.. and if you are going to write a big essay on why he shouldnt have a gf in the first place.. then refrain from doing so.. this is not the answer he is looking for and is obviously well aware of principles of sikhism...whether he chooses to follow it or not is his choice.. )

[Guest learner singh]

Brother,

You're going to have sikh marriage, so you need to make sure that it is for lifetime not for time being. Sikh as per Sikhism's code and conducts should not be having divorce.

So, you need to make sure that you make her understand about it and everything is clear before marriage.

I would suggest that don't be in dilemma, if you want to marry her then first sort out everything otherwise you will ruin her life and as well as yours.

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[GABROO KHALISTAN DAH]

veer, if ur bless'd with the such feelings for sikhiii and want to become --> :nihungsmile: ma kehna go for amrit, because veer thers no gaurntees with girls, and in the end amrit is about 100000x more important.

and god knows, maybe she will feel compelled 2 fall into sikhi as well and also become a :nihungsmile: .........

wahegurooo

[gurkiya_sakhiya]

waheguru

jus do ardas. \

talk to the singhs/singhnees...if u live in TO..u are lucky, there are many many many singhs out there who would help u. by postin it here...ya it helps..helped me out as well, but this heart...it dont understand.

we all will give u advie, but when we face to face its better. especially when u have a GRACEful, beloved of Guru in front of u to help out(answer all ur questions), mind undertstands it better. u will be able to solve ur prob ffectively, it be easy for u...since singhs of Guru dont talk behind back, and always there to help their fellow bro and sis:)

for me, it worked both way, net and talkin to singh, but better was talkin to singh and singhnees bout my problme. that way u see ur own reflection thru them, then...atomatically u be able to make good decision:)

dont knwo if i make any sence:(

im not much of a explainer

but seriouly..since samagam is near...

do Ardas to Guru sahiban to help u..he will surely will help u ji(may be thru his khalsa(Guru sahibans roop). dont stress it, talk to Singhs(they have went thru life and know much more then we do). u be surprise of wht they willtell u.

let em knwo if this didnt make sence.

i can tell u what i think, i my self haven;t taken amrit..i wnet to take it, but Guru sahiban :D..know i had doubts and feelin what if i fail(?) there were so many thing(long story )

Guru sahib ji knows whats best for us, have faith in him,

every thing works/happens His way! :nihungsmile:

Akal Sahai

vaheguru

humbly

[Mkhalsa]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

Veer jee,

You need to decide what is more important to you. Moh or your true husband and companion guru sahib.

This is coming from someone who knows. At one time I myself had a girlfriend and when I got into sikhi, I realized it is wrong. It ended then and there. You try to hang on to the moh. I think you need to do some long hard thinking. I hope you choose the path of gurusikhi. Guru sahib will help you out. I know it will be a lot of pain, but thats what moh is, its all a part of this great illusion, maya. I hope this helps.

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[Guest kaur]

Satnam Waheguru,

In our life there are few things that are certain and many that are uncertain. One thing that will always be with you, wherever you are, is your relationship with God. In our path towards god, we come across many challenges and problems -- a test of the lord. I believe that this is the ultimate test you are faced with. I know you must be thinking, if i have found true love, then why would god push me away from pure love that is so rare in life? But, you must understand that the most rare love is the one from god. If you are willing to love god with your 100% and without a doubt God will love you back, then that love is far greater than any love shared with a human being. If your girlfriend and you have two different roads to follow in your lifetime, if you share completely different values about God -- the basic values -- then obviously you know that those roads will never merge together and join. Sure you might intersect at one point or another, but sooner or later, you will go your seperate ways.

However, if she decides to follow your path in life and become an amritari like yourself, then things might change. Also, if your love is true, then there is no way that god is going to seperate that love, sooner or later -- but you will not find out if your love is "true" until long after. With time, all things become clear and what we has happened in our past -- is for a reason. God will never will harm you -- the pain you feel now can be a part of a long awaited plan of God that you wont know until later. hang in there. everything happens for a reason.

You need to focus on your future and what you wish to gain in this life. Most importantly, pray to god

and may he bless you with the wisdom to make the right decision. Don't stall on something that you know deep inside your heart that you have waited for and have long wanted.

wjkk , wjkf

Satnam

. . . Kaur . . .

[bsbk123]

Waheguru Jee Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Jee Kee Fateh

Veerjee, I got a friend (amritdhari) who did marriage with a modern beautiful Sikh (by birth) gurl who refused to take amrit but under his own parents pressue & his own thought that he will convince her for amrit after marriage by his love, affection and care

But bcoz of having diferent bases in life, problems begins with the day 1 they got engaged. Whenever my friend see his fiancee acts like cutting her hairs (eye brows), speaking hindi, wearing modern dresses, he feel bad. Problems get multiple after marriage . My friend wants to go to sangat his wife wants to go for movie (lol) and other similar stuff. The gurl still cutting her hairs, speaks mostly hindi and these are becoming reasons for ususal fights between them. And the wrost thing happens with their childern mental development. They will be in diliema to judge n adopt their own path in life, to judge who is right or wrong in his/her parents.

Sadh Sangat Jee, let us do ardass in guru jee charan for all boys or gurls who are facing the similar situation in life.

bhul chuk maaf

Bhupender Singh

Waheguru Jee ka Khalsa ,Waheguru jee kee fateh

[Guest Apraadhee]

Waheguru jee

Thank you piare sadh sangat jee...and sikhfor life, i am reading the suggestions and thinking about them alot..thank you all for helping me and puttin the time in to repling to my crys...i still have not concluded to whether or not i am goin to chuk amrit at the TO samagaam.. but what i do know is that i am def goin to take amrit...it is somthing i dearly want to do, and it is something that i will do one day....

if anyone else has any advice for this helpless moorakh..please share

waheguru jee

[Guest balwinderkaur]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

apradhee jee..the advice given by all the above singhs and singhnees have covered sufficient ground and i wont elaborate on them. i juz wanna say...if u feel that u wanna take amrit..GO AHEAD AND DO IT. Take this one step fwd and make sure theres no more looking back after it. Guruji will help u out in ur problems. :D "Charan sharan gur ek painda jaaey chal Satgur kot paindaa aagai hoey lait hain". Dont let moh come in ur way of having a wonderful relationship with Guru Maharaaj. Remember relations with humans are only temporary. relations with Guruji is the eternal longlasting true love filled relationship. Bani has lots of quotes and evidence to support this. Go check it out for yourself. Meanwhile, I wish you all the best in pursuing your relationship with Guruji. May HE bless you and the Panth with chardeekala alwaiz.

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!